I Need You Constantine
Disclaimer: Like everyone else I own nothing Constantine…just a fan!
Angela stopped the SUV in front of the bowling alley where John resided. It was late at night and they had just returned from the graveyard where John had left the cigarette lighter on Chas's grave; and in doing so saw Chas descend to heaven.
The ride was quiet, and Angela knew John was in deep thought. At last she found the courage to break the silence.
"I guess this is where you get out." she said, trying to bring a little light into the gloominess of the situation.
John glanced at her, almost hesitant to reply and hesitant to step out of the vehicle.
"Why don't I walk with you to your apartment?" Angela questioned, a part of her secretly wanting to visit with him longer. John had been so closed up in himself ever since Chas' funeral…barely speaking, never showing much emotion, but suddenly another small smirk crept it's way onto his face.
"Sure." he managed.
Both of them exited the SUV and proceeded to John's dwelling.
After closing the door behind them, John flicked on the lights. He pretended not to notice Angela's restlessness and the way she trembled when he walked past her to the kitchen.
"You want anything?" he asked casually as he examined the fridge for a beer. "Beer? Soda?"
"No." Angela said with a small smile. "John," she asked walking up to him. John turned to face her; both of them now standing so close that their lips were only inches away. Angela could feel John's breath blowing gently against her forehead. It nearly sent shivers up her spine.
"What?" he finally asked, mesmerized by her natural beauty.
"I um….I wanted to ask you."
"Ask me what?" John secretly hoped she'd ask him if she could spend the night.
"If you're going to be alright, with Chas gone and everything. I know it's been hard for you."
John turned away from her, almost angered that Chas's name had been brought up again. He loved the boy, and it still hurt him to speak his name or recall his clever smirks or the arguments they had. He wanted to take Angela in his arms, and he was feeling the desire to kiss her…until she ruined the moment. He slammed his hands onto the table beside them and let out a deep sigh.
"I'm sorry John."
"I'm fine." John said gruffly.
"Are you sure? You look upset."
"It's just late and I'm exhausted."
"Oh."
John turned back to face her, her hazel eyes full of despair and disappointment.
"You can't let anyone in can you John?"
"Maybe it's best I don't. And maybe it's best you leave." John said with a touch of sarcasm.
Angela was frustrated with John. It was in this moment that something made her realize that they could never be truly happy together. Even though they cared so much for each other, how could Angela ever be able to be truly happy with a man like John? He wouldn't even allow himself the pleasure of giving her even one little kiss and telling her he cared.
"You don't know much about women do you John?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" John asked sipping his beer.
"We like to be cherished every now and then, told that we're appreciated."
John smirked and shook his head. His reaction made Angela feel like she was a silly little girl living in a make-believe world.
"Cherished and appreciated…" he repeated the phrase with a snicker in his tone. "I'm not cherished or appreciated by anyone and you don't see me whining. You like to complain peevishly don't you?"
Angela looked at him strangely.
"Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? What's wrong with you?"
"Things you'll never fully understand, no matter how well you think you know me."
"Then let me understand John. Why not let me in?"
"I've let you in more than I should have Angela."
"So I'm in your way? It's all over and you don't need me now?"
"I didn't say that."
"Yes you did John. And I'm glad you did…I know how you feel and I won't be bothering you anymore. Thanks again for everything."
"Angela, wait…"
But it was too late, she stormed out the door leaving John feeling empty inside. He also felt like an ass, but he was too proud to admit it. Too caught up in his bitterness and confusion to go after her.
In the early hours of morning, John was awaken by the storm outside. Heavy rain poured upon Los Angeles and thunder rumbled in the California skies.
Unable to go back to sleep, John found himself restlessly thinking about Angela and how much he really needed her, so much so that he almost found the gumption to call her up…until he realized how early it was. At least 5:49 am was a good excuse to avoid admitting his faults to the woman who had changed the way he saw love. For him to be so fearless in fighting demons, he found that love was one of the scariest things he had ever faced. The women John had known before Angela were just one shots. They meant nothing to him and he meant nothing to them…that's the way he perceived it all. But Angela Dodson was different. She wasn't like the girls that had tried their best to dangle John on a string. She had a heart, a strong mind, and a way about her that made John want to actually live. But with his hard core ways and the stupid mistakes he had made in his life, why should someone like him have the heart of a woman like her? He didn't think he deserved her, which was stupid because he did.
By 9:00 am, John, who had not had much rest, aroused himself. He had gone to bed in his clothes from being so upset with himself. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he stepped out the door of his apartment and made his way outside.
The rain was still pouring and John was getting soaked. But he didn't care. He slipped some gum into his mouth, wet gum and walked nonchalantly down the street until he stumbled upon some fast food chain that he normally patronized.
"What can I get for you today?" asked the man behind the cash register.
John didn't bother reading the menu, he already knew what he wanted. Some people couldn't help but notice how soaked he was, and questioned why he forgot his umbrella…people enjoy being nosy.
"I'll take a small coffee, a hash brown, a sausage biscuit and that's all." John said.
"Okay, your total comes to 5.89."
After paying and waiting for his number to be called, John found a more private seating area near the big window that over-looked the busy streets and grey rainy day.
As John ate, he couldn't help but feel like someone had been watching him, possibly following him ever since he left the bowling alley. His eyes carefully shifted around the restaurant where he only saw old couples and a few families enjoying their breakfast. He noticed a teenage girl mopping the floor, people still standing in line at the counter. Outside he saw cars and a few people rushing about the sidewalks trying to get out of the rain. No suspicious activity, so he ate and sat for some time just thinking and sipping his coffee.
Suddenly in the corner of his eye, he saw a presence approaching him.
"Angela?" he asked under his breath wishfully. But this wasn't Angela, it was someone else.
A beautiful woman dressed in a grey long bodied sleeveless shirt just long enough to cover her bottom, you could tell she wasn't wearing a bra, and a black belt dangling on her slim hips. She wore the tightest little grey stockings and black high heeled boots that sounded almost seductive as she walked. Hey long brown hair hanging untidily against her shoulders and in her face. She sat before John giving him a familiar teasing smirk.
"Hey Johnny." she grinned.
"Ellie." John didn't seem too pleased to see her.
"I guess you were expecting someone else?"
"I was hoping for someone else. Unfortunately it turned out to be you."
"That's not very nice John." Ellie said primping at her red glossy nails.
"Too bad."
"So what's her name? The chick you've been hanging after."
"It's really no concern of your's."
"I think it is. She's been hanging around my man."
"Ellie, get over it."
"I'll never get over you John."
John took another sip of his coffee.
"What is it you want? You've been stalking me since I left home."
"How could I? I'm not wet like you." Ellie snickered.
"You half breeds have your little ways. You're not fooling me."
"I've fooled you before."
"You might think you have, but I've always known how you are."
"You use to like me John, what happened to us?"
"As if it meant anything….it was a one night stand, there never was an "us" ."
"Sure…." Ellie reached into her black leather purse to pull out a pack of cigarettes. She gestured to John to take one. "Want one?"
"I quit."
"Smoking?" Ellie slapped one into her red painted lips and lit it taking a good huff.
"I figure I should lay off since Lucifer took the disease out of my lungs."
"I heard about that. You know, you owe the guy."
"I don't owe the bastard a damn thing, you hear? He only did it to keep me around so he'll have someone to play with…I'm afraid he's gonna regret it though."
"Whatever." Ellie said blowing smoke into John's face.
"I've got to go." John started to stand from the table. Suddenly, Ellie's carefree attitude turned into one of desperation. She suddenly looked like a starving puppy.
"Why? Can't we sit together a little longer?" Ellie begged grabbing John's hand, her intentions were only those of selfishness.
He pulled away from her and looked at her with disgust as well as a pinch of sympathy….John normally didn't feel pity for half-breeds, but for Ellie he somewhat made an adjustment…why, he didn't quite know. Perhaps it was because she was a lost soul who'd never know what real love was like, much less how to wonder. And perhaps John could relate to that…after all, he felt a bit lost himself sometimes, though unlike her he wanted to be good.
"I have things to do."
"Like what? Go see that tramp?"
John suddenly snapped. He jerked her up from the table, but refrained himself from doing anything more when he remembered they were in public. As he looked her in the eye, he could feel wandering eyes all around them.
"Angela's not a tramp like you. I won't have you talking about her like that."
Ellie was shocked by John's words.
"You love her don't you John?" Ellie asked. Her eyes almost seemed to turn green with envy, her face suddenly flushed with hatred. She wanted to lash out at him, strangle Angela. She hated them both in this split moment. But she caught herself, not wanting John to think she was jealous of another woman, even though it was already clear that she was.
"Calm down." John slipped out.
"Calm down? Me? You're the one acting like a mental case." Ellie snickered.
John pushed her away and left.
"You won't get away that easily Constantine." Ellie mumbled to herself.
That night, John heard a knock on the door. He approached it but didn't yet open it.
"Who is it?" he asked firmly. But no one replied in words, only another quiet knock.
John hoped for it to be Angela, though he doubted she wanted to see him again. And sadly it wasn't her.
"Ellie? I thought I told you to get lost."
"Hmmm…." Ellie playfully carried her fingers beneath her chin, her eyes glancing upwards as she acted like she was recalling. "Nope, I don't remember you saying anything about me getting lost." she smirked as she pushed past him. John sighed with annoyance and shut the door.
"What do you want now? It's late."
"Well," Ellie dared to wrap her arms around his strong neck. John lifted a brow to her. "I want you." she said as she began fingering at the buttons of his white shirt.
"Keep wanting." John pulled away from her again and carelessly sat back down to finish his beer.
"You could finish that in bed you know." Ellie suggested as she slowly rubbed his back. "Remember that night you came over to my place….ooh we had so much fun."
"Fun?"
"Oh come on John, you know you enjoyed it."
"You always were a pain in the ass." John replied. Ellie giggled.
"You gave up smoking, why not drinking? I guess you have to have some way to wash away your pain don't you?"
"You don't know what pain is."
"No I don't John, or at least I didn't until you met that other woman." she hinted, looking to see if John was amused.
"Yeah right."
"You don't think I care about you?" Ellie asked.
"Ellie, I can't trust you….I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."
"Yes you would, you've done it before. Come on John, let's make love. Let's forget our troubles."
"You only bring more trouble Ellie."
"Don't be such an asshole."
"I'm sorry I don't want to be used."
"Screw you, if anyone's been used it's been me. You're an asshole John, but I like that about you….I bet Angela doesn't."
"I wouldn't blame her."
"Don't tell me you're going to convert over to a pussy now…softy."
"Shut up." John gave her a threatening glare and it pleased her.
"Now that's more like it." Ellie grinned. "Come on John, you know you need me. You and me are two of a kind."
Ellie seductively walked herself over to the bed, pulling off her boots and gesturing to John to join her. He hesitantly made his way to her, and when he got within good reaching distance of Ellie, she pulled him on top of her and began to work the buttons of his shirt apart. But John stopped her hands and gave her a weary eye.
"Come on John." Ellie slowly reached for the straps of her blouse, slowly pulling it off her shoulders, but again John turned her down. He pulled himself off the bed, and pulled her up as well.
"What are you doing?"
"Escorting you to the door."
"What?"
John forced her to the door and opened it, handing her boots to her after pushing her out into the hall.
"John Constantine, you son of a bitch."
"Don't take it wrong sweetheart, you're just not my ideal of a good time anymore."
John slammed the door in her face, half smirking as he returned to his beer as if he were proud of himself.
Ellie left angry and full of hate. She desperately wanted to punish him by killing Angela, but she knew she'd pay dearly for it if she did.
John stood up and walked over to his dresser, reaching out for the necklace of Father Hennessey that he had requested Angela to wear. He held it tightly, glancing out the window as he did so, his heart filled with the same loneliness, only this time it was more painful.
Ellie slammed the door of her home open. She stormed into her bedroom where she violently grabbed her hair, crouched her body slightly and let out a terrible shrilling scream.
"Oh that bastard! Urrgg! It's all because of that stupid little bitch! If it weren't for her coming in and messing him up, I'd have him all to myself tonight! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" Ellie threw herself onto the bed, punching and clutching at the pillows as her eyes suddenly glowed red. "I HATE HIM!"
She always threw these immature little fits whenever she didn't get what she wanted. Finally she was able to cool down. She flipped her messy hair out of the way of her face and sat up, her eyes coming back to their hazel color, she let out a refreshing sigh. A grin suddenly approached her face and she suddenly felt relieved.
"I needed that." she said. "I think I'll have some wine now."
Elsewhere, Angela was beside herself. Her eyes still swollen with the tears she had been crying. She despised herself for crying over such a man, but she felt so let down by John. She thought for certain there was a chance for them, and he had to act like an ass again and blow it.
Her lovable little cat suddenly leaped into her lap, gazing at her warmly in the eyes as if to say: "He's not worth your tears."
Angela smiled and patted his head.
"You're the one guy I can count on Duck." she whispered as he purred gently.
THE END.
Author's Notes: I hope everyone enjoyed this little one shot. If you don't remember Ellie from the movie, you can check her out in the deleted scenes of the deluxe edition DVD. And thanks krluva for introducing me to her! All you readers tell me what you thought. I read one fic on here that mentioned Angela's cats name being Duck…I don't know how accurate that is. If anyone knows his or her name or gender let me know.