Epilogue
What does it mean to truly love another?
Is it possible to unconditionally love a person who forever prevented you from ever seeing your true love again? Is it possible to raise and love a baby who destroyed the world that you were used to living in? Did my father really forgive me and love me, despite the fact that I killed my mother?
I don't understand him. I just don't understand… My father would never have forgiven me. This pain I'm feeling right now was the exact same pain he had felt on the day I was born… and I'd say right now that it was unbearable and sickening. It was such a terrible feeling, that you'd wish that it was only a dream, or merely an illusion. But what hurt the most… was it was reality.
As I approached the crib, I caught sight of the small little fellow who was quietly sleeping in it, with his tiny fingers clutching the blanket as he waited for his father to arrive. This… this tiny little creature… was the monster I was so mad at?
He was so soft and tiny, and fragile. I was stunned. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't smile, I couldn't laugh, nor could I say anything. I just... stared.
"Wake up, sweetie…" the nurse whispered, caressing the baby's face. "your daddy's here to see you."
My heart sank upon seeing the little monster opening his small mouth to yawn. He opened his eyes and stared at the nurse. He started to emit something that sounded like a faint whimper. This... this was the only thing that was left of Asuka... her baby. Our little toddler.
"Hello, David," the nurse greeted softly, as she slowly carried him in her arms. "Did you have a good nap?" she asked sweetly. The baby coughed a few times in response. The nurse giggled and wiped David's mouth. She hummed a few notes from a lullaby to calm him down. The nurse looked at me. "Would you like to hold him?"
"I, uh…" I mumbled, at a loss for words, "Well, I don't really know how…"
"It's easy," the nurse said, handing me the baby. "Hold him like this. And make sure to support his head, like this." I was surprised that the nurse still gave me little David despite the fact that my hands were visibly shaking.
When the nurse let go, I stared at the baby cradled in my arms. The innocent baby who, for some reason, I was angry at for the past hour. I could've killed him, for revenge and anger, but instead I just stared, strangely acknowledging the fresh feeling of happiness.
David opened his eyes. They were blue, just like mine... just how Asuka wanted it. As David stared back at me, I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous, as if I was scared that he wouldn't accept me. He seemed to be examining me for a few moments, then, to my amazement, he smiled, a smile that strongly reminded me of his mother's. Tears fell from my eyes as I laughed, now realizing that it was impossible for father to hate me for killing mom.
When David laughed and stretched out his hand to reach me, I neared my face to him. It seemed absurd, but it looked as if he was trying wipe away my tears.
"David…" I whimpered, fresh new tears falling from my eyes. David laughed and continued to touch my face, as if fascinated by how wet my tears felt. I planted a kiss on his cheek, realizing now that I indeed loved him and that I would raise him and take good care of him for the rest of my life.