A/N I AM SOOOOO SORRY. I know I had said I would get this out like a week ago. you would only know that if you read my other story "A Day Without Regret". I have been really busy with summer school and I am still writing ADWR. I have been preoccupied. But never fear, I am here to give you Ch. 16. Its not the best, but that is because nothing good is happening right now. Better stuff is yet to come. So read and please review. I would so gladly appreciate it.

Thank you and good night!

Stephanie Lynn

Ch. 16

"Christine? Can I come in?" Raoul's voice called from behind Christine's dressing room door.

Christine smiled when she heard his voice. She had been seeing him often with his being Chloe Ange's father, but it had been a long time since she had sat down and talked to him one on one.

"Come in." She called out loud enough so he could hear her through the door.

As Raoul opened the door, she could see the hesitance in his features. He loved this woman; there was no doubt in his mind about his feelings for her, but his feelings caused him to feel uncomfortable in front of her. Her not loving him didn't make things any better.

"How are you Raoul?" Christine asked giving him a smile.

"About as well as any one person can be." He replied. "I just miss you. That is all."

Christine's heart broke from his words. She didn't want to be the cause of his pain. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I am also feeling as well as one can be expected." Christine told him as he made himself comfortable in a chair opposite her.

"Don't tell me Christine Daae is having issues!" Raoul teased as a genuine smile appeared on his face.

"Yes! It seems drama follows me everywhere." Christine laughed as she suddenly burst into tears.

Raoul's smile turned into an expression full of confusion and fright. Christine was upset and Raoul couldn't have that. "Christine! What's wrong My Love?" He asked as he moved over to cradle her in his arms.

Christine wiped away a tear as she looked up to face him. "I am sorry. I have just been having a rough time." She told him as more tears sprung to her eyes.

"Why?" Raoul asked.

"Because Erik doesn't love me anymore." Christine cried. "I told him how I felt, Raoul. I told him that I love him and do you know what he did? Do you?" Christine screamed.

"What did he do Christine?"

"Nothing, he did absolutely nothing. He doesn't want me anymore." She cried in his arms.

"Christine, you love Erik." Raoul said, more to himself than to her.

The magnitude of shock that covered his face was something Christine had never seen before. Raoul knew she wasn't in love with him any more, he just had no idea that it was because she loved Erik.

"Yes, I love him will all my heart." Christine said through her tears.

"And he won't be with you?" Raoul asked confused as to what world he was suddenly living in.

The idea that Erik didn't love or want Christine was totally blasphemous. If anything, Christine was the only woman made to be with Erik. She knew all his secrets and she had seen his face. Now that he knew she loved him he saw no reason as to why they couldn't be together.

"No, but can you blame him?" Christine asked. "I broke his heart. Oh- I want to be angry at him so badly, but I know that I can't. I have no reason to be. Everything is my fault."

Christine stared into Raoul's eyes and took in a deep breath. He actually appeared to be showing sympathy. He understood the feelings of unrequited love. He felt sorry for her and she could see it, but the idea that Raoul pitied her because she couldn't be with Erik was ironic. He had helped her escape him and now all she wanted was to be let back in. she wanted to be with the man who had caused her such pain…such terror.

"You shouldn't say that." Raoul told her as he wiped away her tears. "Maybe if he had executed his ideas in a less horrific way you would have chosen him."

Christine looked at Raoul in such a state of hopelessness that he'd never seen before. "Maybe I would have chosen him, but I just don't know what to do. Look Raoul; look at what he is putting me through. He wrote an opera about us" She told him as she got up to go get the score.

"What?" Raoul replied completely dumbfounded.

"He is making me re live all my mistakes." Christine whispered. "I don't know if I can do it."

Raoul took the opera from Christine's hands and examined some of the words. His eyes scanned as many lines as he could without getting lost.

"I said that."

OOOO

Erik felt like someone had sucker punched him right in his stomach. He was shell shocked at Bella's confession. He knew he wasn't in love with her and he knew that Bella knew he didn't love her. Erik also knew that he still loved Christine, but Bella did not know that. He didn't want to admit anything to her, but he didn't want to lie either.

Erik looked back at Bella, but he didn't have to say anything. She already knew. He could see the truth in her eyes.

"At least be man enough and admit it, Erik!" Bella hissed at him. "If you are in love with her, why stay with me?"

Erik couldn't think of an answer, at least not a good one.

Erik inhaled and finally spoke. "Bella…Yes, I love Christine, but I will have you know that my feelings are exceptionally strong for you. You are so different from anyone I have ever met." He told her.

Bella glared at him as if he had sprouted another head. She was furious. "I can't just be with you when all you can muster up are strong feelings for me." She screamed. "I don't even want to be with you knowing that you love another. I don't know if I can accept any of this." Bella told him angrily.

"Please Bella; I am not going to leave you if that is what you think. You mean very much to me." Erik said, pulling her closer to him and giving her a peck on the cheek.

Bella looked up innocently at him. "You mean the world to me." She said.

Erik wanted to kill himself. He couldn't help but think, you mean a lot to me…but Christine means more.

OOOO

"He took a great deal of liberty with it." Christine told Raoul as he kept looking over the score. "And to add insult to injury, he is going to be playing himself."

Raoul couldn't help but laugh. "So…he is going to be the Phantom once more."

"You are forgetting Raoul; I am going to be playing myself also." She told him uneasily.

"It will be fine." Raoul said reassuringly. "I will be here and I am not going to leave you. Even if you don't love me, I still love you."

Christine hugged him and smiled because she knew that he meant it, every single word.

OOOO

"Shouldn't you be practicing?" Clark asked as he saw Erik walk past him. "I mean to say, if you are now apart of the cast shouldn't you be in rehearsals also?"

Erik smiled at Clarks concerns. The only person who knew that he would in reality be playing himself was Christine and Erik knew that even if he looked as hard as he could, no one would play himself as well as he could. Just like no one could possibly play Christine. He knew it was awful of him to put her through this, but it was something he had to do. Something THEY had to do.

"I wrote the opera Clark. I know its every up and down. No one will know it better than I." Erik told him. "Except maybe for Christine."

"This opera is about that madman from Paris right?" Clark asked.

"Yes Clark. That certain situation was a bit of an inspiration." Erik told him

Clark only nodded his head happily. It seemed his little relationship with Meg was going well. He seemed pleasantly happy.

Erik took a deep breath in. "Well, if you are no longer going to probe me of anymore information, I am going to go take a walk. Get a bit of fresh air." Erik told him as he placed his hat on his head.

"No…no more questions. Have a good time alone!" Clark said cheerfully as he looked back down to finish reading the opera.

Erik smiled, turned and made his way to the lobby. As much as he treasured his domain, he had to get out. It seemed that the walls he considered his home were now suffocating him. It was all consuming, much like the Opera Populair had been. This time though, Erik wasn't going to let himself get sucked in. He couldn't let that happen…again.

As he opened the doors he felt the wind hit his face. It felt wonderful against his skin, absolute Heaven. It felt stifling in his office. He had to get out. Erik walked down the street thinking of a destination and he immediately thought of the park. That seemed to be the best option; he could sit there and think things through for a couple of undisturbed hours. Smiling, Erik set off in the direction of the park when he heard his name being called. Turning around to see where the shouts were coming from he was met with the one and only, the Vicomte de Changy.

Erik wasn't mad, just incredibly confused.

"Erik, please wait!" Raoul yelled happy that he had gotten the mans attention.

Erik stood speechless.

After funning a couple of meters, Raoul finally caught up to Erik, but he couldn't say anything. He was breathless from running after Erik. The man could walk insanely fast.

"Do you think that we could talk?" Raoul asked in-between breaths.

Again, Erik was speechless.

"Please stop looking at me like I am crazy, I just want to talk to you." Raoul said annoyed at the look that Erik was giving him.

"Okay. I am on my way to the park." Erik replied. "Follow me."

Erik and Raoul walked the rest of the way in complete silence. Erik remained silent because he was incredibly confused as to why and what the Vicomte wanted to talk to him and Raoul remained silent because he was too nervous to get a word out let alone a couple of sentences.

As they walked, Erik felt the need to keep checking to see if Raoul was behind him…he was. After arriving at their destination Erik gazed around and found a nice bench to go and sit on. Walking over to the bench he looked out at the little pond that was next to it. He smiled to himself as he sat down and watched a family of ducks float by.

"What can I help you with de Changy?" Erik asked getting strait to the point.

"Why are you making Christine perform you opera?" Raoul asked concerned at the thought that Christine was going to be traumatized from singing with Erik. "Do you not remember the last opera of yours that she performed in? Well, I do. It was an absolute disaster!" Raoul practically shouted.

"Well, as the manager of the opera what I say goes." Erik told him defensively.

Raoul looked at Erik amazed. "How can you be so cruel? Christine confessed her love for you. The single thing you have wanted all your life. Why are you treating her like this?" Raoul questioned him.

"I am not doing this to hurt her." Erik began.

"Then why? Tell me Erik, we all know how you get a kick out of hurting others in compensation for your terrible life. Why is Christine any different?" Raoul argued.

Erik couldn't help but be a little upset. "Despite what you may be thinking, I love Christine still, with all my heart and soul. I love that woman like no one has ever loved any one before." Erik told him defending his stand point. "And you ask why!" Erik said referring to Raoul's actual question. "Well to be honest I don't really know, but I wouldn't think that you would understand my point of view at all. The truth is that I am not doing this to hurt her. I am doing this to hurt myself." Erik said turning away so Raoul wouldn't see the expression of sadness that covered his face.

Raoul looked at Erik in shock. "Why do that to yourself?" He asked.

Erik suddenly laughed. "It is something I have always done. I guess it's something I will always do." Erik told him. "Until I find peace I believe that I will always find ways to hurt myself. Maybe I do it to make sure I am really human. Why does anyone hurt themselves? You just never really know."

Erik looked over to see Raoul's expression, he seemed to be contemplating the idea Erik had just presented.

"Maybe that is why you keep going after Christine. Why you won't give up. You would rather be miserable and alone hoping that one day she will want you once more than just going off and finding a suitable girl who would love you for you. It's a vicious cycle." Erik told him.

"How is it that you know all this? How do you know so much about people?" Raoul asked amazed at the knowledge this man contained.

Erik smiled. "You forget…I spent a great deal of time simply watching people. Studying their behaviors."

"Why are you pushing Christine away then? She is your salvation and she is now in your reach." Raoul said. "It is you whom she loves."

Erik took in a deep breath as he thought about his answer to that question. "I am just unsure right now. I hate to say that I am just so confused. I really just want to concentrate on the opera right now. It should be good!" Erik replied cheerfully.

Raoul laughed at that. "Good I am sure of, but a disaster waiting to happen? Defiantly."