A/N Here you go! I will be updating more frequently because I just will have the time to write again. So look forward to that. Please review and tell me what you think. For some reason, this chapter was really hard for me to write. So if you enjoy it, tell me.

Stephanie Lynn

Ch. 17

Erik sat silently at his piano as he played a few soft melodies. He didn't know what to do for he knew Christine would be arriving in a few minuets. Things were not going like he had wanted them to go, but things in Erik's life never really went along as planned. His life had once again become chaotic and he didn't know what to do or how to fix the mess he had created.

He hadn't spoken to Christine since the day he had talked her into doing the show on the roof of the opera. He had to admit, he was nervous and he didn't know what he would say.

He also had to admit that he was shocked that Raoul had voluntarily sought him out and consulted with him about Christine's feelings and his concern for her if she performed the opera. It was obvious that he truly loved Christine and cared for her happiness and as crazy as it sounded, Erik couldn't help but feel sorry for Raoul. It seemed that the tables had turned when it came to where they stood in Christine's life. It surprised him that he felt so bad for the fop.

He was jolted back to reality when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." He called.

The door opened slowly and Christine walked in a bit hesitantly. Erik could see the distance in her eyes. She was pulling away from him, shutting him out and he couldn't let that happen. Of all the things she could do to him that was the one thing he knew he wouldn't let happen.

"You aren't going to start acting strange around me now are you?" Erik asked her smiling, but his eyes gave away his worried ness.

Christine looked at his smiling face and felt her insides twist. He was beautiful and she wanted him so badly that she couldn't think of what to say. All she could do was give him a tense smile. She didn't trust herself with words.

"Christine, stop!" Erik told her frustrated. "It's me. I am still the same exact person."

"You are not the man you used to be Erik. The man you used to be was left for dead in Paris." She quietly replied.

He smiled. "Are you disappointed? About me not being that man anymore."

She could hear the amusement in his voice. He found it funny that the man she had thought was so evil was now the man she was seeking for comfort.

"Yes and no." Christine replied as she went and sat down next to Erik on the piano bench. "You used to be the most passionate person I had ever known. More passionate than my father ever was. You knew what you wanted and you went after it. You never cared what anyone thought. I miss that."

Erik took a deep breath in. "But I hurt so many people being that way. And I did care about what people thought of me. Why do you think I lived underground?"

"Well…that isn't what I miss." She replied really not sure of what to say.

"I hurt you being that way." Erik told her. His voice was barely a whisper. The man he was long ago was now and forever dead. Even when the security of retreating to his old habits crept up on him, he restrained and banished those feelings knowing that he needed to be a better man.

If not for himself then for her.

"I guess you don't really appreciate what you have until you lose it." Christine replied ignoring what he had just said. "I wanted to let you know that I am going to leave you alone. I won't pressure you about us anymore. Besides, if you really wanted to be with me you would. Right?" she questioned rhetorically.

Erik looked at her with so much sorrow in his eyes. She was giving him up.

"Everything is so different with us now, isn't it?" Erik asked.

"I believe so. Look at you, you are dating a woman." She laughed trying to lighten up the mood.

"Yes, but that is something different. I am talking about us. Our relationship. We are just different. It's a different feeling we get from each other now isn't it." He told her.

"No, Erik. I think they are the same feelings, but I just believe that we interpret them differently." She replied as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Who would have thought that we would end up where we are?" She asked.

Erik pondered the thought. Who would have thought that all that had happened would have? Certainly not him. He wouldn't have imagined him starting a new life…Christine being raped…opening his own opera…Christine being a mother…Christine one day loving him. She was right. This reality seemed so surreal.

Erik thought about their situations and could feel a headache coming on. It was all too complicated.

"You do realize that life would have been far less complicated had you just chosen me. Right?" Erik asked in an amused voice.

Christine could only chuckle at Erik's comment. It was actually true, though.

"Look Christine. I just want you to stop dwelling on what could have been. Can't we leave the past in the past?" He asked her.

Christine's smile turned into a frown and she could feel the tears fall down her cheeks. He was asking her to do the impossible because the way she saw it, the past was never really in the past. "Its not that easy, Erik. I have tried so hard to not feel horrible about all the wrong I have done. I just don't feel as if I have made everything right." She told him.

Erik smiled at her conscience. "Perform in my opera and I can promise you that all the wounds we have both created will be healed."

Christine looked into his eyes and could see that he was being honest with her. If anyone could give her faith and confidence, it was Erik. He was her Angel of Music after all. He knew her better than she knew herself. For this she trusted him.

Somehow Erik knew that if she could perform in the opera and still stand at the end of it, it would make everything right again. He was sure of it.

OO

The auditorium was empty save Meg and Christine. Having a day off from rehearsals, they decided that playing around and choreographing their own routine would be more exciting that sitting around doing nothing. As they laughed and bounced around on stage, a skinny semi tall man came in and smiled at the sight before him.

He had two small beady looking eyes and a crazy mustache that looked as if it took an eternity to make perfect. The gray in his hair only made him stand out more.

"Christine Daae?" He called out happily.

Both Meg and Christine stopped what they were doing and Christine's head turned in the direction of the voice. Christine studied the man as best she could considering that he was covered in shadow, but she could see that he was somewhat familiar.

Suddenly it dawned on her. "M. Reyer!"

Meg and Christine hurried off stage to go greet their former conductor and old friend.

"Meg Giry!" He stated, shocked to see her as well. "Well…I suppose it seems as if I have stepped into past. With the Opera Ghost running the opera, Christine Daae as the leading Diva, and Meg Giry as the Prima Ballerina." He exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" The two girls asked in unison.

He smiled. "I am the new conductor. Fresh out of Paris." He replied.

They smiled and gave him hugs of congratulations. "I guess our old family is coming together once more." Meg said happily.

"M. Reyer?" A confused voice called.

The three of them turned to see Mme. Giry's shocked expression.

"Ah- Mme. Giry. I am not surprised to see you here." M. Reyer exclaimed.

Madam Giry smiled. "Well I am shocked to see you." She replied.

"Join me for a cup of tea. We can catch up on lost times." He said bowing to the girls and taking Madam Giry's arm and leading her away.

When they exited the auditorium, Christine turned to face Meg. "Okay, if we hear La Carlotta then we know something fishy is going on." Meg told her humorously.

Christine smiled at her friends joke. "Come on, Meg. Let's go finish our routine." Christine laughed.

"No, I am serious Christine." Meg replied as she followed closely behind her friend.

"Yes, Meg. I know you are serious." Christine replied.

"No Christine. This is beyond freaky." Meg argued.

Christine just laughed at her friend. As annoying as she sounded, Christine was once again starting to feel like her old self. Deep down, that was all she really wanted.

OOOO

Bella walked quickly backstage. She was on a mission and she would be damned if she didn't get some answers…SOON. Erik had continuously shut her out and she was finally at a point where she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to know about his past and if that meant finding a source other than him, then so be it.

Bella had not really wanted it all to come down to this, but she really had no choice. She had arrived at the opera and forced herself to make her way to Christine's dressing room. Bella knew that she was her last resort.

Standing outside Christine's dressing room, Bella cursed and softly knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Christine's cheerful voice called out from inside the room.

As boldly as she could Bella opened the door and walked silently into the room. When Christine's gaze met hers she looked ready to shoot daggers at Bella's body. Any cheerfulness she possessed was now gone.

"Can I help you?" Christine asked trying to sound polite.

"I came here to ask you a question." Bella replied.

"Then by all means, ask away." Christine said interested in what she had to ask.

Bella took a deep breath in. "I want you to tell me about Erik." She said. "He won't tell me anything about his past and it's frustrating. I just need to know…something. Will you please tell me?"

Christine wanted to kill her. She didn't know what she was asking of her. "Do you understand what you are asking?" Christine questioned her.

Bella looked at her confused. "What do you mean?"

Christine couldn't help but smile. Perfect…all she needed was something to add to the list. The list of things she had done to betray Erik. This list naming all her wrong doings was the reason he didn't trust her and because he didn't trust her, he couldn't be with her.

"Erik would go ballistic if he knew what you were up to. He would be mad at you, but he would probably kill me." She told Bella.

"Why would he do that?" Bella asked a bit scared.

"Erik has a lot of skeletons in his closet. Things he wants to keep in the closet. He is a very private person." Christine said.

"Yes, I have noticed." Bella said more to herself than to Christine.

Christine could see the sadness that lined Bella's face. She suddenly felt sorry for this girl. To give her heart to a man like Erik was not the easiest thing, this she knew from experience.

"It's nothing personal." Christine said comfortingly. "His reasons for not telling you much."

"It feels like it is." Bella replied.

"If it makes you feel better, know that he was the same way with me too. It took years for him to trust me enough to know any of his secrets. Even then he never told me the whole truth to his personal life. He is just private." Christine told her.

"I know that you dislike me, Christine. But I want you to know that I am in love with Erik. I need to know about him. I feel as if I will die if I don't." Bella said as her voice started to shake.

Christine felt her heart soften when she saw the look of despair in the girl's eyes. Bella suddenly felt awkward as she stood in the middle of Christine's dressing room. Christine smiled at her. This girl wanted a story and she wouldn't be the one to not give her one.

"Come sit." Christine commanded her.

Bella walked over and sat in the chair next to Christine. Christine set down the hair brush she had been holding and turned her complete attention to Bella.

"If I tell you anything, you can't judge him. He had changed more than you would think any person possible of. Just know what you are asking of me." Christine said, her eyes showing that she was completely serious.

"I want to know." Bella replied, still set on finding out what she didn't know.

"Okay." Christine said to her. "Erik met me almost fifteen years ago. I had just lost my father to a bout of consumption and I was in desperate need of someone. My father had told me that once he passed away, that he would send the Angel of Music to me. I had waited and waited and when I had finally decided that the Angel wasn't real, he spoke to me. His voice was so heavenly and I couldn't see him. So, being as naïve as I was I believed in him. It wasn't until seven years had passed that I learned he was nothing more than a man. A pain stricken man."

Bella looked at Christine like she was crazy. "You didn't see him for seven years?" She asked.

"He hid from me. He was so afraid of everything. When he finally did reveal himself to me, it was only because Raoul had come back into my life. Erik didn't like that." Christine explained.

"Wait, Raoul? The Vicomte de Changy?" Bella asked.

"Yes. We were engaged. It broke Erik's heart when he found out. He was so in love with me. He did some horrible things. Things I have no right telling you. But in the end, he let me go with Raoul. He gave me up and at the time I just wasn't strong enough to stay with him." Christine told her. Bella could see that Christine felt shameful for what had happened.

"So you and Erik go way back." Bella said.

"Further back than you probably guessed." Christine replied.

"Christine, what is it about me that you dislike so much?" Bella questioned bluntly.

Christine couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. "It's not even that I dislike you, but a lot of my animosity with you deals with Erik."

"I don't understand." Bella replied.

"Its not you. I promise. It's Erik." Christine said.

Suddenly it dawned on her. "You are in love with Erik."

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