Ch. 20

Erik had only just walked into the theater when he heard the music start and Lord help him.

He needed to sing with her.

He needed to feel comforted on some level and the only things that had ever comforted him were music and Christine's voice. He couldn't describe the excitement and passion that sizzled in his blood when he saw her face light with shock and worry. He was going to enjoy this if only for the time being.

The last couple of weeks had been Heaven and Hell for him.

Heaven was every moment spent lying in her arms, but Hell… Hell was every moment not in her presence. And now he was singing with her. He suddenly felt like he was ascending back up to Heaven, back up to where only his angel could take him. to a place that was good.

He knew that deep within his soul; beneath all the scared layers that he contained that he was a good person. He just didn't think God would ever want to look that deep; he probably didn't have that sort of time. He knew that it was easier to just assume that he was the demon that people knew him to be and when the day that he would be rejected from the gates of Heaven came, well… it wouldn't be a surprise.

At least he could say that he had actually loved an angel and that that angel loved him back. Christine was truly an angel in his eyes.

Erik loved that they moved and sang like they had the night of Don Juan. He loved that she remembered. Every move that he made she matched and every note he sang she complied. He knew they were the perfect fit. Then he had to sing those ungodly words.

Say you'll love me…

As his voice died in his throat he could hear the applause from the audience. Erik looked at Christine as she looked out at their audience. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She made the very breath within his breast die and she made his heart twist with incomprehensible longing. Without a doubt he loved this woman more than she would probably ever know.

Words would never express what his heart felt.

Smiling he turned to look and see what she was viewing when he suddenly caught eyes with Bella.

He felt the inside of his chest tighten. "Bella!" He whispered.

She looked so angry, but Erik couldn't imagine why. Then he remembered Christine, her eyes expressed all the pain he had caused her. There was so much pain.

"Christine!" Erik called after her in a tiny voice. His heart broke as he watched her run away, but God help him for he couldn't go after her.

It seemed that he just couldn't do anything right anymore.

OO

"I just don't comprehend why you are as upset as you are." Erik said irritated as he strode along the lobby to his office with Bella nipping at his heels.

Bella huffed as she walked alongside Erik. She had felt an unbelievable amount of jealously when she saw Erik singing with Christine. It was something she knew she could never do. She would never capture Erik's heart with music if she could capture his heart altogether. It was just one more aspect of his life that she would never come to be apart of. "Erik! You know that I am uncomfortable with you around her." Bella told him.

Erik kept walking, thankful that she was to his right. She wouldn't see the blush that had covered the left side of his face. He couldn't help but feel guilty with himself. Bella in all reality had every reason not to trust him. He had been unfaithful many times over and he never regretted each sinful act. He knew that she did not deserve any of the things he was doing to her, but he couldn't stop.

He couldn't let her go even though he didn't really see his future with her in it. He wasn't bored with Bella, although their relationship was not physical like Christine's and his, but he knew that his heart just didn't belong to her. Her heart didn't belong to him either.

"Bella, the opera begins in one week. I am going to have to go to some of the rehearsals and that means that I will be singing Christine." Erik replied hoping that that would end their conversation.

His hopes fell short.

"But why did you have to put that song in there? It is very vulgar, you know." Bella said in a huff. "Very indecent."

Erik laughed at her comment. "My dear, many of the things you do are considered indecent." He told her. Scooping her close to his body with a free arm, he gave her a reassuring hung and smiled. "Bella, it is only an opera."

"Maybe to you it is." She mumbled sadly to herself.

Erik remained silent not really sure what to do. He knew she was upset, but he didn't know how to fix the situation. Part of him didn't even care. Looking at her occupy herself with something in his office he decided to duck out quietly. He knew that he needed to fix his little problem with Christine.

If that was even possible.

OO

Christine stared at the bottle of champagne in front of her. It would be easy enough to drink away my problems, she thought to herself. Shaking the idea out of her mind she stood up and looked around her dressing room. She needed something to take her mind off of… everything.

Raoul had come to check on her after he had seen her run off stage. He wanted to know if she was okay and if she needed anything. Appreciating his kindness Christine had almost asked him to marry her. Yet her heart knew better, she couldn't have married him even if she wanted to.

It was then that she heard a knock at the door. Her brow strewed with confusion. Who could that be? Maybe Raoul had forgotten to tell her something. Maybe it had to do with Chloe Ange. With the idea that something could have happened to her baby, she rushed over and quickly pulled the door open.

She was both relived and disappointed to find Erik standing there. Not caring what he had to say Christine tried to slam the door closed, but with his quick reflexes he slid past her leaving her feeling ridiculous.

She turned to yell at him, but the look in his eyes said that it was something that he didn't need at the moment. Erik wanted only for her to hear him out. He had been a bastard to her lately and he just needed to talk.

"What is it that you want Erik?" Christine asked sadly. There was no other word to describe what she had been feeling for the last five years. Sadness. It was a word that had described most of her life.

Erik opened his mouth but closed it. He seemed to be at a loss for words. "I am sorry." He finally said as he grabbed her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. Christine glared at him. "I know that a simple I am sorry wont heal all the wounds I have inflicted upon you, but I do want you to know first and foremost that I really am sorry."

Christine nodded in silence. Walking away she made her way over to her vanity and located her jewelry box. Opening a little chamber within the box held the two of the three most precious gifts she had ever received. One was Raoul's engagement ring and the other was Erik's gold ring. Holding the gold band within her palm she felt a tear fall down her check. Turning to face him she walked back to him and gently placed the ring in the center of his palm.

"I think it is time that I return this to you." Christine said as she watched his eyes weld up with tears. She could feel her own about to fall. "I just can't keep letting you hurt me. You were the one that was supposed to take care of me. My guide and guardian. Do you remember? Now all I am is your whore! I love you. I love the way you think, the way you sing, the way you feel. I love your heart. But I need to love myself more. I need to love myself so I can love my daughter. I told you it was all or nothing. Game over, Erik. I am done."

Not allowing him time to answer Christine turned and walked out the door and for the first time in so long, she didn't care what Erik would do. She didn't care what he would think; all she thought about was going home to see her baby. Her angel. She had left, leaving a strong, confident man fall to his knees crying.