Four months! I cant believe it has been so long. I am truly sorry and hope that I will be updating more often because this story is actually almost over. I am not too happy with this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it.

Please review and let me know what you think about it all.

Love always,

Lynn

Ch. 22

Christine stared out at the audience. It was an overwhelming feeling knowing that hundreds of people were watching your every move. Knowing you had the option to give the people anything you wanted, it was something that gave Christine a sense of power. It was the feeling Erik had described to her so many times back in Paris. I've never really had power over my life, she mused.

Everything in her life had been forced upon her, everything! Erik's love for her, Raoul's love for her, and motherhood. She loved Chloe Ange, but even that had been forced upon her. She had never decided which of those thing she wanted, which man she wanted more. Raoul had ultimately decided for her and her letting him choose for her had made her realize that she wanted Erik. It made her realize her dream of being with him and performing for him. Her dream of sharing a life with him.

Now here she was performing in his opera.

The show had started off without a hitch which was a good thing for everyone. She took note on how bittersweet all of this was, acting out all her old memories. It had also amazed her that Erik had found someone who sounded exactly as La Carlotta had. She was indeed an earful. It was amazing to hear her sing Think of Me, how it brought all the familiar feelings back into Christine's mind. She could still see all the faces that were in the theater that day. Every single one was still so distinctive.

Christine, breaking out of her trance, remembered that she was onstage and looked over at Erik. He was getting ready to sing her Music of the Night. She knew that she was nervous about it. Christine remembered exactly how she had felt that night. Confused at what was really happening, intrigued by the man in the mask, and thankful that the voice that sounded so heavenly and given her so much guidance was actually real. Things had drastically changed from that night so many years ago.

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination

Silently the senses abandon their defenses…

Christine couldn't take her eyes off Erik. He was so beautiful when he sang. His passion and love for performing radiated off every single inch of his body. It made her tremble with excitement. His voice filled the theater as he sang each word perfectly.

She listened with delight!

Erik thrived off of what his voice did to her. It was a gift that he had always used to his advantage. He liked to think that his voice was the reason she had fallen in love with him. He relished every touch that took place between them onstage. Even if no one knew of his love for Christine, it was still liberating to display his affection for her so openly.

Erik's voice consumed her whole and she was once again the sixteen year old girl of the past. Innocent and unsure… that was how she felt although she knew she was no longer those two things, but he kept singing and she kept feeling. His voice could do that to her. Christine could feel a tear escape her eye when Erik caught her and carried her to the bed to lay her down. She would have given anything to be able to stay there, but she knew she could not do that.

The show had to go on.

OOOO

Number after number and still everything had gone smoothly. It was amazing that nothing horrible had happened…yet. No wrong notes sang, no dance moves gone array, and no emotions getting in the way of the job. They had all performed terrifically. The end of the show was looming and Christine would have to hear Erik sing her those heart wrenching words that he had sung to her on the way down to his lair. She had never felt so much despair in her whole life than she had when he had confessed so much to her that night.

Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair!

Down we plunge to the shadows of my mind!

Down that path into darkness deep as hell!

Erik had been prepared take the mask off, but it still had been an unnerving feeling altogether. The audience's screams were never something he could get used to. He had been so terrified that night, Christine unmasking him had ultimately unraveled facade. Her revealing who he really was had revealed that he was no more than a man… a coward. It hurt him to think that he was still a coward.

Christine remembered being completely terrified that Erik had dragged her along like a limp doll. He had pulled her along, twisting and turning through the maze that was his world. It had been at that moment that she realized that he had come to make that place his prison.

Why you ask was I bound and chained in this cold and dismal place?!

Not for any mortal sin, but the wickedness of my abhorrent face!

Christine had not been frightened of Erik's face as it was ablaze with fury and embarrassment; she had long before then overcome her fear of the horror that was his face. It was horrible, but she had never realized what a paralyzing fear his disfigurement had been for him. His eyes had been frantic and as she looked at Erik right then, she could see the same emotions running through him as he sang to her onstage. Their unruly nature scared her. Erik had never understood how she had overcome her disgust with his face. He knew he never would.

She had been scared for him that night. Scared that he would never escape the blackness of his mind. It was true that Erik had committed crime after crime, but she had always believed in her heart that he never deserved a life destined to be alone. By the time they had reached Erik's lair it had not taken much of a fight to get Christine to change into the wedding gown he had created for her. She needed any excuse to just leave the room.

Have you gorged yourself at last in your lust for blood?

Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?

She pounced at him as she emerged from her room. Christine had been so angry that he had taken things to such an extreme level that she wanted to hurt him. She wanted to hurt him like he had hurt her.

That fate which condemns me to wallow in blood, has also denied me

The joys of the flesh…this face – the infection which poisons our love

This face which earned a mother's fear and loathing… a mask, my

First unfeeling scrap of clothing

Christine had not wanted the tears to fall, but she couldn't help herself. His words had stung her heart to the very core. Why did his life have to have nothing but pain filled experiences? Erik looked at her and his anger returned at the sight of her tears. She was not supposed to be in pain, she was the beautiful diva that had received everything she had ever dreamed of. Christine did not know pain like his and it angered him to see her act as if she had actually experienced pain like his. Even though she had had some misfortunes, she could at least say that she had been loved in her short lifetime.

Pity comes too late, turn around and face your fate

An eternity of THIS before your eyes

She felt her lip tremble as he said those words. This was not how it was supposed to be. She was crying so hard that she gasped for air as she took the veil that was atop her head and threw it to the floor. Erik's eyes filled with tears at her actions. Beneath his disheveled self and his raging words was a pathetic, desperate man. He needed her to love him and he couldn't help but think about how stupid he had been in the past weeks. She had stood before him and told him she loved him. And he had ignored it.

This haunted face holds no horror for me now…

It's in your soul that the true distortion lies

As much as Christine loved him, Erik was damaged beyond repair. She could have spent a thousand happiness filled years with him and it still would not undo half the horrors that were done to him. His face had nothing to do with it and she, at the time, needed him to know that. Christine glanced into his eyes and could see all the emotions that were still buried beneath his heart. Erik had changed, but he was still the same man at the very core.

By the time Raoul had come Christine had been relieved. She was happy that he was still alive but then she realized that his life had been in even more danger with his arrival. It had not shocked her when she saw Erik tie Raoul up to the gate. That was to be expected. Erik was no longer in his right mind.

So do you end your days with me or do you send him to his grave?

Why make her lie to you to save me?

Listening to Erik and the actor who was playing Raoul sing was truly overwhelming. Christine had felt like fainting, but she knew she couldn't do that. The sheer magnitude of the emotion had caused her to feel like she was reliving everything. She knew there were hundreds of people watching her, but Christine couldn't shake the feeling that she was back in Paris underneath the opera.

"You deceived me… I gave you my mind blindly!" She had told him as she had realized his wickedness. Everything he had said and done was a lie. Everything was a lie to the very core except for the fact that he did love her.

"You try my patience. Make your choice!" Erik replied back to her. Christine looked at him with big confused water filled eyes and in that instant wanted to pounce on him. She wanted to hurt him; she wanted to hurt him like he had hurt her.

Christine had, for those few minuets, truly hated Erik. She couldn't help the emotion from flowing through her veins; she had been deceived by him too many times. It wasn't fair of him to string her along and that was what he had been doing. She hated him for hurting her, she hated him for hurting himself, and she hated him for allowing her to hurt Raoul. It was a petty thing, but she couldn't help but blame Erik.

As much as she was lost in her thoughts, she could still feel her legs move closer to him. Reaching up to cover the space between him and her, she felt their lips touch. Erik pulled her close wanting to never let go. This was the woman he loved and he knew it. He parted her lips to allow his tongue to enter and was happy when Christine obliged. It was a kiss that had meant so much to her and she was reliving it.

Christine I love you…

So many things had been said that night and thinking back to what was said, Christine couldn't help but feel embarrassed. She had hurt the person she loved most. She had hurt him in the most horrible way and that was by leaving him. As she rode away on the makeshift gondola she glanced back to look to the man that gave her reason to take each and every breath.

Erik watched her ride off and felt his heart break. It was as if they had actually relived everything. He was spent and emotionally drained. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help but meet Christine's eyes. She would have done anything to take it all back and set it right. Erik could tell from the look in her eyes what she was feeling. He nodded at her, hoping that she would understand that he had forgiven her a long time ago. He couldn't hate her and he never had. Erik loved her and that was all there was to it.

And then the show was over.

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