Ch. 25

"Erik! Stop sulking! Go to your rehearsal. I have to say that you, who is both the manager and director of this here opera house are doing a lousy job at both!" Nadir teased.

He knew humor was not going to work on his friend, but he was so tired of being understanding. Erik was a very trying person to communicate with and Nadir was so tired. So very tired.

Erik sat silently in his office chair; he was not sure whether or not he wanted to listen to his good friend. He did not want to talk to anyone really. All he wanted was to be left alone to sulk, but it seemed that Nadir would not let him be.

Nadir waited for Erik to say something while he glared at the back of Erik's chair with just an ounce of annoyance finally seeping its way into his being. Stupid temperamental artist, Nadir thought to himself.

"Erik, please just go. If anything you will get to look at her angelic face for a few hopeless hours." Nadir said with no effort. What was the point in trying anymore?

He was surprised when Erik stood up and smoothed out his disheveled shirt. "I think you are right." Erik simply stated.

"I am!" Nadir agreed, not too sure at what else could be said. He was not quite sure what made Erik snap.

Erik turned around and winced. "How bad do I look?" He asked not really wanting to hear the truth, but knowing it was not good.

Nadir glanced at his friend, trying to hide the smile that was appearing across his face. "I can not tell a lie. You look absolutely horrible, but I really don't think that that matters too much." He said quickly.

Erik nodded knowing that it really did not matter to him. He quickly walked out of the office on his way to the theater to see the only woman he would ever love.

0000

Christine stepped out of the carriage. She always felt nervous when she arrived at the opera house. Erik would probably be lurking somewhere around, somewhere she would not be able to see him. Although, she had not seen him for the last couple of weeks it still made her nervous knowing that he would be close.

She walked slowly knowing that at any moment he would pop out and try to make her see that she needed him. Christine was long past thinking she needed Erik to survive. She had been fine the last few years without him and if the truth were told, her life had not started going haywire until he had once again reappeared.

It was true…she was much better off without him, but she still loved him beyond all reason.

"Christine!" Meg practically screamed when she saw Christine walk though the double doors that led in to the theater.

Christine smiled at her best friend. "Meg?!" Christine replied, excited and confused by her friend's sudden out burst.

"I am so happy you are here." Meg said as she embraced Christine into a death grip hug.

"Why?" Christine asked.

"Because I have wonderful news!" Meg squealed. She looked absolutely radiant.

Christine had never seen her quite so happy in the many years she had known Meg.

"Well tell me, you seem incredibly excited." Christine told her, feeling Meg's enthusiasm seep into her own aura.

"Clark and I are engaged! Can you believe it? He asked me to marry him!" Meg shouted.

Christine looked at her friend with an incredulous expression. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems with Erik that she had not taken one moment to realize that Meg's relationship with Clark was going so well. She suddenly felt like a horrible friends. What kind of friend did not notice when her best friend had fallen in love. "Oh my! That is fantastic Meg. Oh, I am so, so, so happy for you!" Christine replied happily.

"Now all you need to do is get everything fixed with Erik and we can be engaged at the same time." Meg said casually, as if her idea was no big deal.

Christine felt her eyebrows crease in extreme frustration. She was happy for Meg, but with that kind of talk she could not guarantee that for too long. "Meg, things are not ever going to be okay with Erik and I." Christine told her with little hope in her voice. She was sick of hoping that things would work out perfectly. She had had to realize that her life was not a fairy tale.

There was no such thing as Prince Charming.

Meg just rolled her eyes and smiled sympathetically at Christine. "Oh, Christine. Stop being so dramatic. You love him and he loves you. That is all there is to it and despite what you may be thinking, love is enough to overcome anything." Meg said sternly. Christine had never heard Meg talk to anyone is such a manner. Meg shook her head sadly. "Have you seen Erik lately?" She asked.

Christine shook her head. She felt tears spring to her eyes. "No, why?" She asked dreading what Meg was about to tell her.

"Christine! He is doing horribly. He has not really eaten or bathed in quite a while. He is really suffering. Nadir and my mother have both been trying very hard to get him back to his somewhat normal self. It is as if he no longer has any motivation anymore. It is not good. I really think you should go and talk to him." Meg told her.

"I have nothing left to say to him." Christine replied.

"You need to forgive him. You need to forgive yourself. If you don't then you are just going to end up alone and bitter." Meg said with such pity in her eyes. It reminded Christine of the way she used to look at Erik. She did not like having her best friend look at her in such a way.

"I should go warm up." Christine said walking away. She was done listening.

"Really Christine, learn to let it all go." Meg called after Christine. It was probably useless, but someone had to say something. Right?

0000

Erik sat quietly watching people filter in to the theater buzzing with chatter and excitement. He just could not comprehend what anyone could possibly be smiling about. He was so utterly depressed. Losing the one you loved most tended to do that to him.

A part of him wondered how long it would take this time around for him to start feeling human again. How long would it be till he stopped missing her? The answer there was simple. He would never stop missing her, but he knew he could live without her. Erik had never wanted to, but the past proved that he could go on.

Soon though, his inner turmoil would be put at bay for he would once again look up at the face of his angel. His joy would be temporary if only for the duration of the rehearsal. After she left again, his pain would then take over and consume him whole.

Of that he was sure and he was no longer sure of much.

"Hello Erik!" Meg Giry chirped as she ran past him.

He could hardly nod at her as she ran past. Erik took note that she has an incredible ability to be happy. He smiled a little at her ability to spread the cheer. He had not met many people in life that could actually put a smile on his face. Then again, she was Antoinette Giry's daughter. They were both unique women.

Erik shifted restlessly in his seat, he could feel nerves wreck though his body. She had to be walking in at any moment. He was usually so calm, but it was not surprising that the very idea of seeing Christine made him fidget. Any moment now!

Christine took a deep breath and stepped though the double doors that lead to the stage. As hurt as she was, she hoped that Erik would be at rehearsal. He never was and although it relieved her, it upset her equally also. Did he not want to see her? Was he avoiding her because he was mad? If anyone was supposed to be mad it was most defiantly her. Erik had no right. She stood in the darkness scanning the seats just waiting.

Then their eyes met.

She was cloaked in darkness, but Christine knew that he could see her. His eyes were parallel to nothing else. Neither of them could look away. It was like some magnetic force binding their eyes to each other. Christine could feel her eyes well up with tears. Maybe it had been easier that he had not been around lately.

Erik could see a tear slide down her cheek. Maybe it had been better that he had been staying away. As much as he wanted to work things out, he did not want to cause her anymore pain. If seeing him only made her hurt more, then he would leave. He would leave her alone if only to give her some peace of mind. With as much courage as he possessed, he stood up and in a few quick strides; he covered the space that was between them.

He took in a deep breath before speaking. "I am sorry." He apologized.

Christine wiped away the tears that now covered her cheek. "For what, Erik? You have not done anything wrong." She said. Her voice was thick with grief.

"My being here is hurting you. You walk in and start crying. If it makes it easier for you then I will leave. I don't want you to deal with anymore pain over me." Erik said softly. His voice was a soft melody caressing her ears.

She nodded in understanding. "Erik, are you insane?" She replied. A microscopic smile played across her lips. Erik could only look at her with a confused expression. Christine took a deep breath to steady herself. "Don't you understand? You not being here is not going to cease my pain. I hurt all the time, with or without your presence."

Erik looked at her blankly. "Then I guess there is nothing left to talk about." Erik told her.

"I agree." Christine said giving her consensus. She looked up into his eyes and felt her heart sink. She loved him so much and yet, the love she felt for him was what was causing her to hurt so much. The pain of everything she could not say flooded through her.

"Are you sure that you are going to be okay? I truly do not want to cause you anymore discomfort." Erik whispered. The sight of her face was too much for him. He could not look upon her and just stand there. His heart was pushed into motion as was his body when he saw her. She made everything feel alive.

"I think I will be okay, Erik. I have been doing fine lately!" Christine cried with an edge in her voice. "I just feel that over time it should all be fine. We need to get used to being around each other, especially if we both want to continue working here. As hard as it is, I want to stay here. I can not imagine being anywhere else."

"I don't want you going anywhere else and I know you want to move on. After everything that has happened, I really do understand. The thing is Christine, I can't move on and more importantly, I don't want to move on." Erik replied with such emotion that Christine felt her stomach fill with butterflies.

Erik stepped forward and grabbed both her shoulders. "Christine, tell me you love me right now and we can start over. We can forget all the things in the past. I know you are mad, impossibly mad at me, but I know that eventually you will forgive me. You know you will." He told her, his eyes boring into hers. She felt like he could actually see straight through her.

"I do love you." Christine squeaked. The tears were now falling freely. "It is just so hard. I feel like my heart is bleeding and the wound just wont heal. It is nowhere close to healing. I don't know what could happen with us, I just – don't know. I am really sorry." Christine replied pulling away from him.

"Don't talk like this. I know you are just unsure right now and that is okay, but we can work on things together. We can be happy." Erik said trying to convince her.

"Happy? Erik, every time I am involved with you I am the farthest thing from happy." Christine replied.

Erik took a step back as if she had physically struck him. In fact, this hurt so much more than if she had physically struck him.

"I am sorry. Really, but I cant deal with this. I just cannot put myself at more risk. I have a daughter to think about. I need to really grow up and this time I am serious." Christine cried. "I need you to leave me alone."

"Do you honestly think that that will help you any?" Erik asked her as he pulled her body up against his. She didn't even try to fight him off. She just looked up in to his eyes. She looked so helpless. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Nothing could ever change that. Now, can you honestly tell me that seeing me everyday is not going to make forgetting things that much harder?"

"Erik I do-"

"No, Christine. You know I am right. If you wanted to make a clean break, if you really wanted me to leave you alone, then you would leave. Yet, you choose to remain here? Stuck in your pain. Why? Because you love me even if you refuse to admit it." He said desperately.

Christine could only look at him. There was nothing she could say. He had won. There was no use fighting with Erik. He was a man that truly always received what he wanted. She also would not argue with him for the simple fact that he was right.

She loved him and though she was hurting over him, she would not leave because she loved him.

Yet, she was still not ready.

"Erik, let me go or I shall scream." Christine hissed at him. This was not the time to do this.

Erik looked at her shocked. He stepped away from her with true pain in his eyes. He rested his hands on his hips as he hung his head low. He was not surprised that the tears were falling down his cheeks.

"I give up." He said softly. He said it with such finality.

Christine looked up in confusion. "What?"

He looked up at her with such sadness. "You heard me. I give up. I am not getting any younger and I know now more than ever what I want. If you can't grow up and give us what we both want, then I am done. I can't do this as much as you cant." Erik said with finality.

Christine stared at him speechless. Could she let him do this?

"Erik?" Christine squeaked.

"What? Are you going to say you now want to be with me because I am taking myself out of the picture?" Erik hissed at her. " We can not do this anymore. I realize this now."

Christine felt her stomach turn. She was going to be sick. The walls were closing in on her and she felt a cold sweat break on her forehead. It surprised her when she felt her legs running to the exit. She was running to get away, if only to stop the walls from closing in.

Erik watched her run. He couldn't believe he had just done that. Was he serious? Could he really say no to her? He had never thought it possible. The pain in her expression was full of pain. She had to still want him, why would she look so upset if she did not? Especially if she really believed that there was no future for them.

Erik felt his body stiffen. He had to go after her. If only to tell her that he did not mean it. That he would never give up on her, on them. He felt his body lurch forward and start after her. He would make it better.

He ran out into the lobby and saw the door swinging open. She was going to leave. He picked up his feet and ran through the door and saw Christine stepping off the sidewalk through the crowd on to the street.

"Christine wait! Where are you goi-" He stopped mid sentence.

He saw it coming at full speed through his side view. A carriage was racing straight ahead and it would most defiantly collide with Christine. He looked back at her as saw that she had stopped and was staring at him; completely oblivious to the danger she was in. He felt his body lunge forward and his heart stopped beating. The adrenaline that was flowing through his system had taken over. All that mattered was that he save her.

He was her protector, he always had been and nothing could change that.

Christine saw Erik run at her and felt her body fill with panic and terror. Something was seriously wrong. She glanced to the side of her and saw it coming, not five feet away. Christine closed her eyes as she waited for the blow that was sure to come. She felt Erik's hands grip around her arms as she suddenly felt herself being thrown into the air. Erik and Christine's bodies made hardly any contact as he threw her as far as he could so she would not be injured or worse.

The last thing Erik could remember hearing was Christine screaming his name at the top of her lungs.