A/N Readers, I am so sorry I have taken so long to update. Here is the next chapter. Please review so that way I can know what you think. I am going to try really hard to get chapters out sooner to finish this story up. Let me know what you think. Thank you so much!
Stephanie Lynn
Ch. 26
Christine felt like dying. Her mind was going over the accident for about the millionth time and if Erik did not wake up soon, she would forever feel guilty. Erik's accident had been her fault; she had rushed out of the opera like a petulant child. Christine had not liked what Erik had said to her and she reacted so badly. Because of her, it was a possibility that Erik might never wake up again. No one was to blame except herself.
She sat, staring at his unmoving body, as the tears slid down her cheeks. Christine was actually surprised that her body could produce more tears. She had literally been crying for days now. Erik's state had not changed, which was both a good and bad sign. She honestly did not know what she would do if he never woke up again. It was something she did not want to think about.
"He will pull through." A voice called from the door.
Christine jumped in fright and turned to see Nadir leaning against the doorframe. She tried to give a tiny smile, but failed miserably. Nadir felt his heart bleed for this girl. She was so hopelessly lost and confused. It was really no wonder that she and Erik could not make it work. They were two of a kind. They somehow were so alike, that they actually seemed to repel one another. Nadir walked over and kindly put his hand on Christine's shoulder.
"I just feel so helpless. He is not getting better nor is he getting worse." Christine cried.
"I understand that this is a very difficult time for you, but don't you think that everything will be alright?" Nadir asked a little disturbed by Christine's lack of faith. He took in her appearance and saw that she was still wearing the same clothes from the last few days. She must have not left Erik's side once.
"I honestly do not know what I think right now!" Christine cried. "There are just so many thoughts running through my head. I want so much to believe that it will all end up okay, but I feel like something is blocking my faith. It is quite frightening and I don't understand it."
Christine wrapped her arms around herself as her legs twitched. She could not stop fidgeting. She was just so scared of losing Erik.
Nadir did not know what to say to that exactly. How were you supposed to instill faith in someone who felt as if having faith was not possible? "Christine, may I ask you a question?"
Christine, never taking her eyes off Erik, shook her head yes.
"If Erik does wake up, what do you plan on doing?" Nadir asked very bluntly. It was a question that needed to be asked. She needed to consider that option at least.
Christine was disturbed by this question. She looked up at him to see that he was completely serious. As much as she wanted to be upset by the intrusion of Erik's and her business, she couldn't be mad. It was a fair question, one that she had been ignoring for as long as she could remember.
Christine had never understood exactly why she shied away from that possibility.
Erik was nothing but wonderful to her. In Paris he had put all his energies into making her a star. He was there for her when no one else wanted to be. As much as she enjoyed his devotion to her, she had never truly appreciated it. That was why she had left with Raoul; if she had realized just how thankful she was to him, Christine would have stayed with Erik forever. Knowing that fact, she could not understand why it was so hard to give over her heart to him now. Nadir could tell from the look in her eyes that she was just scared. She was a scared child, just as Erik was.
Christine did not understand it. Here was the man she loved and she had rejected him for about the hundredth time. It made no sense.
Nadir shook his head as he stared at the little girl before his eyes. "I would have imagined that you would have had an answer to that question by now." He told her.
"I do not know what to say." Christine replied shamefully. The man she loved laid in front of her in between life and death and she couldn't even determine what she wanted if he did indeed lived.
"What is it that you are feeling? Say that." Nadir said.
Christine took a deep breath. "Well, I love this man laying before me more than I have loved anyone other than my daughter. He is more beautiful than a sky full of sparkling stars. It is his beauty that makes me feel like there is hope for the future. That everything will be fine. I have never felt my heart yearn and bleed for anyone like it does for Erik. I believe I shall always be tied to him. His hold over me is permanent."
"Yet you continue to run away from him." Nadir simply stated. Christine did not argue that. It was a hard cold fact. "I do not understand why. If you are tied to him, forever bonded as you describe, why do you run when you know he loves you as well?"
Christine could feel the tears slide down her cheeks. "As much as I love Erik, there is just so much deception that plagues our relationship. On both our parts. We lied, cheated, and manipulated each other time and again. It is a scary thing to trust him completely. It is even hard to trust myself." Christine answered honestly.
"Why on Earth would you not trust yourself?" Nadir asked incredibly confused.
Christine couldn't help but smile at that question. She turned to look at Erik's sweet face and smiled at him. "He sees me as his angel. His beautiful Christine that can do no wrong. You know that as well as I do, but I am far from perfect. I betrayed him and hurt him like no other. Even with all those facts laid out before us, he still sees me as perfect. I am just so scared of the day when he realizes that I am just an ordinary person like everyone else. That I am not the angel he thinks I am. The idea of that day coming forward scares me beyond belief."
Nadir felt so sorry for Christine. She did not trust herself to be enough for Erik. That statement was the most absurd thing, but it made sense to him. She loved him so much that the idea of her not being what Erik wanted made her run.
"Christine, I understand your insecurities. I am no one to tell you that you are being redicuous. Those are your fears that you must overcome, but I do want to say one thing."
"Please tell me. I want to hear what you have to say." Christine begged.
"During the five years that you two were separated, he never once mentioned your name. Not once. Even though he put on the façade that he had moved on, he worked tooth and nail to get the opera running. I once asked him why he wanted this so much, especially when his past had so many horrible memories revolving around music. He smiled at me and told me that once the opera was up and running, his inspiration would come back. I thought nothing of it. I just imagined he meant that he would once more be up to composing, but now I know that he was talking about you. He opened this opera with the hope that it would somehow bring you back to him. Incredibly, you came back to him! That is not just a coincidence. Somehow, you and Erik are meant to be together. Your love is truly incredible. I just ask that you actually give it a chance."
Christine could feel her body shaking from sadness. Nadir believed in their love. Why was it so hard for her to? Gently he squeezed her shoulder for comfort and walked out of the room.
Now she was sure of what she wanted to do. She was going to give their love a chance.
00
"Do you think that your decision is truly wise?" Raoul asked Christine sadly.
"Of course I do." Christine snapped. "Besides, what choice do I have?"
"There are remedies that can fix your certain situation Christine. I would think that you of all people would know a few of them." Raoul accused in an acidic tone. He was so unbelievably mad at Christine. Her news had shaken Raoul to his very core. It was not news he was ready to hear from her.
Christine looked at her former betrothed. The look she sent him was enough to kill. "I know the remedies." She said through gritted teeth. "But why would I ever want to do that?"
"Because the bastard is comatose. He is not waking up Christine. You are not married and this looks so very bad. Your reputation, which was already in questionable shape, is going to be even more tarnished. Have you given any thought to what you are in for?" Raoul yelled frustrated at Christine's thinking.
"Of course I know. I am not some stupid little girl anymore, Raoul. I have lived more life in the last five years that I could have ever imagined. Some experiences were not what I wanted them to be, but I learned. Most importantly I learned that I am more capable than I have ever given myself credit for. If you were supportive of me, you would be asking what you can do to help. As my friend I would have thought you would be more than willing to help me." Christine said, happy and sad at the same time.
Raoul ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Finally, he looked over at Christine and exhaled. "Fine. I'll help until that bastard wakes up. You better pray that he wakes up soon. I wonder when I will be able to say no to you." Raoul grumpled.
Christine smiled happily. It was the first time she had actually smiled in the last week. "Thank you Raoul. I could not survive this without you. I want you to know that." Christine replied sweetly.
"Yes, I know. I know."
"So, how do you suppose I tell Chloe-Ange that she is to be a big sister?"