She closed her eyes, and tried to feel the blanket around her body, the heat of her breath hitting the sheets. She visualized her bedroom. She tried to rouse enough fear to wake her, but there was so little fear to be called upon.
Up ahead there was a full-length mirror, sunk further into the dirt on the right side than the left. A symbol was drawn in the sand, a sideways eight. That meant something as well. This all meant something.
She moved towards the mirror, but the sweetest sorrow overcame her and she fell to her knees. She cried then, not knowing why and her insides ached. Even as waves of pain were released, the space was filled again. Where had all of this pain come from? She was birthing the sorrows that she had buried long ago, and this sweetness protected her, serving as a balm to her raw nerves. She gave her heart to the ground and stood, on shaking legs, to observe a wall, which she reached out to and steadied herself against. She was not outside anymore, but enclosed, in a room no larger than an elevator shaft. The room had walls so white, she feared for that which would one day stain them. Her mind did not contain the right images, she knew, to guess at what would cover these walls one day. Her own guesses, fell short. She could not hope to understand.
She turned to face the door, so simple in its design and yet, she wondered if it would work as most doors did. The knob was there, but she could see no sign of a lock. She looked to the ground and saw only white, tile floor. There was a knock, and then another.
She meant to say hello, but no sound escaped her lips.
"Well aren't you going to let me in Sarah."
Then panic.
"I'm afraid that I've forgotten how to breathe," She said, mostly to herself.
Her chest hurt, he vision blurred. She had to act, but what could she do. She had once been told to create a lock, a chosen symbol to seal off the world of her dreams from others. Who had taught this to her? A symbol that no one else could know would create a pocket in her mind, in which she could hide.
She did not remember the symbol, but when she looked down, she was drawing something on the palm of right her hand. She watched herself for a moment. The symbol was not familiar. She bent down, placing her hand on the floor, where she continued to draw.
"Sarah, let me in," his tone was inpatient, his voice loud, cutting into her concentration.
She closed her eyes, her hand continuing to draw the symbol. She felt something click in her mind as the door was forced open. His let out a roar, ripping through her effect.
He destroyed her magic, easy as a hand could destroy a spider web.
It would have been appropriate to drop to her knees then and sob, but her tears had left her already and she had no more pain to give, no more sorrow. The tears that had cleansed her before left her fearless now, standing emotionally naked before this stranger.
"What is the game now?"
"No game," he shrugged, taking a moment to smooth out his shirt, "this is your first test."
"Have I passed?"
He shook his head.
"The test has just begun."