Author's note: Hi there! I was really glad to receive reviews for the previous chapter. So thanks a lot, revenantangel94 ,some.azn.guy ,SephirothOWAGOD ,ronsyaoran , Zero'N'oveR and askani16
Right, now on with the next chapter. This chapter is mostly about what happens to Kira and Lacus' decisions waver slightly but she gains control of her emotions and she is more assured that her decisions are correct. Unfortunately, I admit that the ending of this chapter is slightly confusing. So, if it confuses you, please feel free to pose a question in the review section. I will try to answer the question as soon as possible.
Now, let's get on with the story...
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters.
Fear alone is a horrid thing... eating through its victims and leaving them empty cores at the brink of insanity...
And as I sprinted down the familiar bleak corridor, my world was reduced to nothing but a hazy daze... reducing me to nothing but a victim of fear, a feral animal screaming for release from the pain and hurt that cornered me in an iron cage...
The furious voice that reached us was familiar and as we burst around the corner of the corridor, we nearly collided headlong with Yzak and Dearka. The platinum-haired man seethed with anger, his face wearing an anxious frown, his hands grabbing the coat of a doctor. Nurses crowded him, trying to break them apart and calm him down.
"Cut it out!" Shinn snapped as Athrun and he broke Yzak away from the doctor before he could raise his fist and punch the innocent man.
"What sort of idiot are you?" Yzak snapped, kicking and squirming in Shinn and Athrun's locked arms. "How can you not even know where the patient is? I'll have you dismissed and I'll personally make sure you'll never be a doctor again!" The doctor backed away several steps, apologizing, "I'm sorry, Mr. Joule. Mr. Yamato was transferred to another faculty and Doctor Chloe has taken charge of him. I have absolutely no idea where he is now..."
My mind nearly released the last grip I had on my sanity... the last hope that I had to find Kira, to reach him as soon as possible... Scouring the entire hospital with its numerous surgery rooms were not what I had expected at that crucial moment... I had to be with Kira...
But the doctor was interrupted by a shrill voice calling out to me. The only voice full of hope and clear sanity ringing through the corridor... I spun around to see a nurse hurrying towards us, flustered.
"Over here! Please follow me! Doctor Chloe is attending to Mr. Yamato!" She grasped my wrist and took off, running down the corridor as I stumbled to catch up with her. Footsteps thundered behind me as everyone dashed after her, running.
She led us through corridor… after corridor and I followed in a daze, unaware of our destination, unaware of the pathway we were taking...
The journey there seemed like forever… like running through an endless maze, as time prolonged agony... and when she released my hand, I was left standing before the window overlooking an emergency room…
And I could only stare at the figure of Kira, lying on the gurney on the other side of the glass… All of a sudden, it seemed like my world was blotted out, leaving only him and me hovering in space… The halt of the footsteps behind me, the resounding gasps and broken crying all seemed to come to a standstill… And the white-coated doctors that hovered around his body, streaming in and out like through a crowd were nothing but a hazy background… He shouldn't be there…
Slowly, silently, I approached the glass and reached out, touching the freezing cold surface, gazing down at the amethyst eyes that shone back at me… Eyes that held a happiness to see us despite the criticality of his condition...
I crouched down slowly, sliding against the cold surface till my face was close to his, separated only by the glass. Placing my fingers on it, I tried to imagine how it would feel if the glass melted under my fingertips and I could touch his warm skin... something I hadn't done for a long, long time... Tears trickled down my cheeks.
He cast his mesmerizing eyes away for a second, a guilty expression flickering through those beautiful amethyst orbs. When he returned his gaze to me, he lifted a hand agonizingly and pressed it against my palm on the other side of the glass. A weak smile quirked at his dry, parched lips... so weak... so vague... the oxygen mask threatening to hinder and hide the precious recognition...
I tried to stop the little, bitter crystals slipping down my cheeks but the wound in my heart merely widened when I saw his silent plea... beseeching me to end my disconsolate crying, to dry my tears and flash him that smile I no longer had ever since those tragedies happened... the smile he loved and missed...
His eyes darted from my face and his solicit gaze fell at a point behind me, his eyes glazing over with hurt.
I didn't turn to look at what had caught his attention... but instead, I understood through the ambiguous reflection staring back at me from the glass... the cruel shard that didn't bother to hide the grief which seemed so plain in the room, gripping on to us in a tight grasp... squeezing us... choking us ...
I saw Cagalli's golden eyes staring dazedly into the emergency room, tears running down her cheeks, the shock still evident on her pale face, her arms wrapped around her slim stomach, squeezing herself in a desperate attempt to protect herself from the vicious grief as she leaned back into Athrun. His arm was around her frail figure which threatened to collapse, anxious to comfort her, yet, his concern was evidently overwhelming his own sanity, his emerald eyes fixated on Kira, windows to his vulnerable mind and heart...
Fear and time has a way with playing with us. Fear tears apart its victim slowly and agonizingly, and time... takes it's pleasure in prolonging the agony... And no one who stepped into the room escaped their claws...
I remembered watching hazily as Miriallia clung to Dearka, crying silently and Lunamaria embracing Meyrin as they sobbed, Shinn trying his best to comfort them, yet, his anxiety threatened to spill in hot, bitter tears... I recalled Yzak leaning against the wall, his eyes downcast… and the painful cries of Caridad as she wept into Haruma's shoulder while he hugged her desperately, his own tears slipping down his cheeks...
I returned my gaze from the grieving reflections to Kira and startled to see his imploring eyes burning into mine... the desperate plea... the pain they held... Yet, the mysterious joy to see us with him never faded, the gentle, affectionate happiness...
How could you bear so much pain but still be happy, Kira? How could your eyes still hold that loving glance, so soft, so gentle, so warm... How could you be in there? And yet, still be that innocent boy I had fallen in love with...
Those beautiful eyes never once left mine, the warm, gentle gaze watching me... And even as the needle of the syringe pierced his skin and the anesthesia ran through his blood, his gaze never shifted... his eyes winced from the pain inflicted... but they never left mine... never... A soft smile playing across his lips, a smile which faltered with the pain but returned quickly...
Until exhaustion tugged at him and those familiar deep pools of emotion had to slowly close, gradually shutting him from the grieving world… closing his world of pain from me…
White blinds were drawn across the window as the nurses closed our view of the emergency room… And I was left to lean against the cool glass, staring at the white blinds… blocked out from the only place I wanted to be in… from the place Kira was in… Tears trickled down my cheeks as the soft sobbing echoed in the otherwise silent room…
Waiting for fear and time to end its torment on us… for the door of the emergency room to open…
I needed him to leave the emergency room alive...
I had wondered if I was losing myself in the confused turmoil of emotions. I had made a decision to end Kira's life... I was sure of it... Yet, I didn't want to lose him this way, when his life was truly in danger and he was closed of in a room where no one he really knew was with him... I needed more time... more time to gather the broken fragments of my heart, my mind, my life... more time to be with him...
Perhaps, I was close to collapsing. I must be so selfish, Kira... You will hate me if you know what I need and want of you...
I needed you, needed more time to be with you... So I prayed you would leave the emergency room alive...
But, am I wrong in deciding to make you leave this world after I want you to be alive... for now... for me?
It might be painful to lose you, Kira... But it'll hurt so much more to see you in pain. I may be selfish, but if I can rid you of all this pain... I'll do anything... anything... Even making you leave this world and sealing our fates in endless agony... We're all breaking apart... Our sanity is shattering... But I'll pull myself together, Kira... For you...
Author's note: How is this chapter? Good? Bad? Can be improved? Please review and let me know. And unfortunately, I admit that the ending is slightly confusing. So, if it confuses you, please feel free to pose a question in the review section. I will try to answer the question as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!! Oh, and please, please review!