INTERMISSION

"Who the (bleep, bleep, bleep) called an intermission?!"

My fists came down on the computer desk in frustration. The loud bang that issues forth causes my staff to gasp and fling papers into the air. "Find out who!" I snap at whoever is listening. "I have a scene to complete and one of my characters has the gal to call for an intermission."

Squabble from Thirteen Days approaches my table. "It was his majesty," he explains politely.

"Jareth called for an intermission?" I sit mildly confused. "I leave him half naked with Sarah wrapped around him, and he wants to pause the process?"

"Yes!" says a distinct male voice.

I look to my doorway to see his royal nibs leaning casually in all his topless glory. Rebekah (another smitten female) walks by and whistles. "Make it quick," I order him. "And someone send Sir Didymus out on another coffee run! I'm going to need it."

He walks in. "I have a complaint to file."

"I do beg your pardon?"

"It's about the moments between Sarah and my self."

A distant "Talley-Hoe" is heard signaling Didymus' departure.

"What- are they not steamy enough?"

"Well, it's no The Visit, but mainly-,"

There is a loud clatter as a group of goblins storm my writing space. Dink is obviously the ringleader clad in an apron that reads, "Kiss the Cook." I don't even want to speculate on how he acquired it.

"Writing Lady, we have a complaint to file!"

I rub my temples taking deep breaths. "Take a number," I grumble.

Jareth looks ready to spit nails at his subjects' rude behavior. "Gents, I was here first," he calmly explains. "See here Lady Authoress, I generally do whatever you ask of me, no complaints, but this constant 'on' and 'off' business is wearing on my body."

My patience is running thin. "Are you afraid of developing ED or something?"

He looks mortified. Stench raises his hand tentatively. "What's ED?" he asks.

I smile at the king defiantly.

"Don't you dare answer that question!" he bellows.

"Eating Disorder?" offers one goblin.

"Extreme Distaste?"

Dink interjects, "Speaking of food- I really need to talk to you about the gravy you specified in the kitchen."

"What kind did I specify?"

"You didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"Specify."

"The gravy?"

"Yes."

"You need a specific sort of gravy?"

He nods his head and clearing his throat proceeds, "As reported in Brian Froud's research of the goblin realm, we goblins have a particular liking for brown gravy."

I shake my head in exasperation. "Dually noted. Now be gone back to the kitchen before something burns." With a joyous tumult they exit.

Jareth still stands about arms crossed over his chest. "Well?" he pesters.

Didymus arrives with a coffee carrier. "My lady!" he calls out. "You're Starbu-!"

"Ssshhh!" both the king and I exclaim. "No product placement!"

"Oh sorry. Nearly forgot. Your chain-store-brand-coffee my lady."

"Thank you noble sir." After sipping the glorious brew I address the king, "Put to rest any concerns Jareth. I won't allow you to develop ED, you have my solemn promise."

At that Didymus gives the king a surveying look, adjusts his saber around his waist, and sips his coffee with a smirk.

"Now clear out. I have to get scene eleven done this week."

I settle back in front of the computer screen. Retracing my thoughts back to dinner, a washer machine, and the loaming arrival of a roommate I try to figure out how the next set of events will take place. A gentle rapping on my door brings me out of the process. "What?" I snap.

Sarah cocks an eyebrow. "Need me to come back later?"

"Oh Sarah, I'm sorry. I'm just having a bit of a Tina Fey/30 Rock moment. What do you need?"

"I need to talk to you about certain romantic scenarios."

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asks coming in.

"Jareth was in here earlier making similar requests. I told him I wouldn't smite him with ED."

A wicked grin takes over her mouth. "Erectile Dysfunction?"

"Yep!"

"He's going to hate my request then. I want you to make him wait."

"Oh my dear you are cruel." I consider her proposal. "Afraid of your sex life getting boring? Or are you wanting me to… insert another character to make him jealous?"

"See here he's gotten me in bed pretty easily our last two stories with you. Make him work for it." She turns to leave. Pausing she glances back. "Using whatever means you deem appropriate."

"Of course."