Disclaimer at end because it's too long.

"I hate heels," Bella grumbled again. Jacob, ever loyal and faithful Jacob, ignored her. Her chant about her shoes had gone on since the moment they had left the munchkin village and even the best of wolves have to tune out others' whimpering when it had gone on that long. Bella stumbled again and Jacob lightly nuzzled her back to her feet. She sighed. "Stupid shoes."

"They look quite nice to me," someone said. Bella whipped around and fell to the ground. Jacob growled as he leaned low and began to help Bella up again.

"Who said that?" Bella asked quickly, her eyes scanning everywhere. She didn't see anyone but rows and rows of a tall plant. Corn, she thought it was. There weren't very many fields of corn in Phoenix or Forks but she was fairly sure that was what corn looked like in pictures she had seen of Iowa.

"Your dog smells though," the voice added as Bella got back to her feet. Again, Bella craned her body around, trying to see someone and again she tumbled to the ground. Jacob, standing at the alert with his hair bristling along his neck, let her use him to pull herself up but didn't move to directly help her. He was trying to see the hidden intruder.

"Where are you?" Bella asked.

"Are you all right?" the voice questioned with concern.

"Where are you?" she repeated.

"I'm right here," it spoke. "Or maybe I'm not. He doesn't think I'm here so maybe I'm not here. And you- I don't know where you think I am," he remarked. Jacob turned and began growling at the scarecrow in the middle of the crop Bella suspected was corn. "Oh, now he thinks I'm here. But I still don't see where you think I am." Bella stared at the scarecrow, now wondering how she could have missed that he was the one talking. He was the most gorgeous scarecrow she had ever seen, not that she had seen many scarecrows. There was hardly any sign that he was a scarecrow other than the straw sticking out of this sleeves and pant legs and peaking around his shirt. Other than that, he could have been human. No, Bella decided. Not human. He was too beautiful to be human. She smiled widely and Jacob growled again.

"Could you help me down from here?" he asked. "I've got this pole up my back and it's making me rather uncomfortable." He gave her a smile and she nearly melted into her shoes.

"Oh, of course," Bella replied, breaking out of her temporary trance and scuttling towards him. She tried to climb the short two foot high wooden fence and fell over, her face turning a bright red and Jacob jumped the fence in a bound and helped her to her feet, his eyes never leaving the scarecrow.

"Your dog doesn't like me," the scarecrow remarked.

"He's not my dog. He's Jacob."

"He would like to be your dog." Jacob growled as Bella went over to the pole and began to unfasten the scarecrow.

"How did you- why are you up here?" Bella questioned as she finished pulling he free and he dropped gracefully to the ground. She growled herself a little. Now, officially, a scarecrow was more graceful than she was.

"I can't remember although maybe your dog put me up here."

"Jacob wouldn't do that. Or, well," she corrected glancing back at Jacob with his hair still on end, "he's been with me the entire time we've been here."

"Then maybe he just wants to," the scarecrow consented.

"Do you have a name?" Bella asked.

"Your dog can think of quite a few for me but I'm not sure those are really my name. You haven't thought of any name for me. Perhaps my name is Edward. That seems vaguely familiar."

"Edward," Bella repeated. "Alright, I'll call you Edward."

"And your name's Bella."

"How do you know that?"

"Your dog-"

"Jacob," Bella corrected with a tinge of annoyance.

"Right, my apologies, Jacob, thinks of you with the name Bella."

"You can read his brain?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't got one myself."

"Well of course you have a brain," Bella told him in confusion.

"I don't. I'm a scarecrow. Scarecrow's don't have brains."

"But if you can think that, then you have to have a brain."

"But I'm not thinking that. He is," Edward told her. Jacob growled at him yet again, his yellow eyes pinned on Edward, never moving, barely blinking.

"But what would you do with a brain if you had one? Couldn't you just keep using someone else's?"

"What would I do with a brain? Well I would-

I would wile away the hours, translating notes from foreign powers."

Bella stared at him as he began singing. He had the most beautiful singing voice she'd ever heard. Along with his appearance, she got the impression she was staring at an angel.

"Consulting with the rain."

"You could come home with me. I live in Forks. There's nothing but rain."

"You're dog doesn't want me to come back with you," he said, momentarily breaking his song.

"Jacob. His name's Jacob."

"Again, my apologies."

"And my head I'd be scratching though it's Jacob's fleas that would be hatching

If I only had a brain."

Jacob growled again and then his back leg twitched as though he really wanted to scratch. It must have been the power of suggestion, Bella thought. Although she would have to double check before she let Jacob help her up again. "Be nice, Jacob. There's not much that rhymes with scratching," she assured him. Jacob seemed unconvinced.

"Oh I, could be so wise that school would be a bore

I could still be valedictorian for sure

Without ever, coming in the door.

I would not be just a nothing, with my head all full of stuffing

My heart all full of pain.

I could show you my devotion, that is my hopeful notion

If I only had a brain."

"You're a wonderful singer," Bella told him with a smile as he finished his song.

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes, I do," Bella said as he smiled nearly sending her into a puddle on the ground. Jacob suddenly hurried over and planted himself at Bella's side. "Right, well, I guess we have to go see a wizard."

"A wizard?"

"So we can go-"

"Home," Edward finished, his eyes glancing off of Jacob for a moment. "Do you think your wizard could give me a brain as well?"

"I don't know but it couldn't hurt for you to come along, could it?" Bella asked.

"I would very much like to accompany you if I you'd allow it," Edward agreed. Jacob pressed himself closer to Bella's side.

"Of course," Bella replied in a breathy sort of voice.

"Thank you." He smiled again. She felt her knees melting.

"So then, we're off to see the wizard?" Bella asked.

"The wonderful wizard of Aahz," Edward nodded.

"Right, the wonderful wizard of Oz."

"No, I believe it's Aahz."

"That's what I said!" Bella argued as they began walking along again, two pairs of eyes pinned on Edward, one in adoration and the other in abhorrence. And when Bella stumbled, both Jacob and Edward hurried to catch her from her fall.

Alright, disclaimer. Let's see. Obviously I don't own Twilight. I don't own the Wizard of Oz. I don't own the Myth series by Robert Asprin. I believe that's all that's in this chapter. If I missed something I referenced, just assume I don't own it.

Sorry this chapter isn't as good as the last one. It wasn't written late at night. I seemed to use the word growled too much. Not sure when I'll update or if I will but I admit, I love reviews!