Firstly, I would like to say that I am dreadfully sorry that I took such a long time to update. I know that I promised this chapter a very long time ago. But this year has been a busy year for me and truthfully, I had a writer's block for nearly 2 months – I lost all my inspirations. So, once again, I am really sorry I took this long. You may criticize me or vent your anger at me in your reviews. I deserve that…
Well, before we begin, let me thank my readers: .001Kamikakushi (Thanks so much for your review. You've raised some good points there. And yes, I really do hope Sunrise hasn't forgotten the movie…), xBlackxButterflyx (Your reviews are very interesting! I couldn't help laughing. But I'm glad you seem to enjoy the story),Orgoth225 (Hi, thanks once again for your review. I'm happy you liked it. Glad to hear from you again.), carnation26 (Sorry it took so long for you to read. I didn't really expect it to be so long too. And you flatter me, about being a famous author… I'm just writing for fun, actually. I'm really glad to hear from you.), Windlasses (Hi, thanks for your review and your compliment. Hope to hear from you again), Zero'N'oveR (No, I didn't miss your request. You hoped to see a chapter with happy moments in Kira and Lacus' life, right? I was just stating a basic example in the previous chapter, that's why I didn't state yours. But I remember it, don't worry. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and perhaps, I didn't have a change in style. And I hope you enjoy the ending I came up with…), snowdrop.tears (a.k.a personal friend! You're as meticulous and straight-forward as ever! But, well, I've got your advice. Thanks again. See you on Monday.), revenantangel94 (Hi, I'm glad you liked the chapter. I felt that it would be nice for them to have a talk, that's why I added a conversation. Well, I hope you like the ending I came up with…), askani16, (Hi, so glad to hear from you again. Well, please read on and tell me if you enjoyed the ending I came up with. Hope to hear from you.), william12 (Hi, glad to hear from you. Thank you for your review!) and lastly Ryan Crescens (I'm really glad to have heard from you. Your reviews have given me a deeper understanding to my writing and made me think off ways to improve and learn from my writing experiences. Thank you so much for that!)
Now, this is the official last chapter of the story. I thought long and hard about the ending, and I hope you like it. This particular chapter is dedicated to all my readers, especially some of the readers who have followed me in my writing: askani16, revenantangel94, Zero'N'oveR, Orgoth225, snowdrop.tears, Sephiroth and numerous others. Whether or not I have listed you here, as long as you have read this story, or left me a review, this chapter is dedicated to you. Cheers!
Now, let's begin, shall we?
The sun was half a golden sphere, resting on the horizon. Shades of ruby pink, dusky blue and soft purple played across the skies; the elegant ivory clouds immersed in the lovely hues.
I walked alone – a single lonesome figure silhouetted in the fast diminishing light, the sand beneath my bare feet. I took one last step and stopped, gazing out at the calm ocean waters splayed out before me. The rich gold of the round orb and the pale colors of the vast sky had begun to fuse with the silvery reflections shimmering across the cerulean waters.
It was beautiful...
I was smiling gently as I lowered and sat myself on the warm sand, drawing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rested my chin on a knee, savoring the peaceful serenity while the little waves lapped at my toes softly.
A light ocean breeze wisped around me, caressing my face and hair like loving fingers that stroked my pink locks. The dress I wore billowed around my body in gentle waves, the light material brushing across my skin tenderly.
"Hello, Kira…" I whispered, smiling.
Sunsets… are the most beautiful things in the world, because that is when the sky presents the world with its prettiest display of colors. At least that was what I had always thought, and that was why I had always loved sunsets…
Yet, now I loathed it. I didn't want to see another sunset for the rest of my life… Because no matter how beautiful a sunset is, or how brilliant the colors are, all sunsets signified an end… With every passing second, the fiery orange globe on the other side of the dark ocean waters would dip down lower and lower, brush against the horizon, then sink down below it, until the world is engulfed in darkness… and that was the end, the end of a day, the end of the life I grasped desperately in my hands…
The hatred that had begun to consume my insides was a stark contrast to the numbness that had once frozen my heart. I didn't want to feel, because I knew 'feeling' was 'hurting'. It was better to drift along, uncaringly, painlessly…
So I grappled for the cold darkness that was slipping away slowly. Yet, somehow, I couldn't reach that disappearing darkness. If only I could touch it. As soon as I dipped a finger in it, it would come flowing back, I knew it would… But I couldn't reach it… Something was tugging at me, pulling me away from the peaceful, quiet darkness and into an endless pit of clear, hard emotions that descended down on me, crushing me with its painful clarity. Until I gave in and allowed myself to get sucked into a whirlpool of anger, hatred and abhorrence.
I hated the sunset, for its undeniable significance; I hated myself, for succumbing to this hatred and for having stumbled around in the dark for so long; I hated Athrun and Cagalli, for asking me to make him happy when I wasn't sure that I could; I hated Ulen Hibiki, for creating him in such a way; I hated the body pressed close to mine, for being unable to sustain the person I loved so dearly; I hated the hand that rested in mine, for turning colder and colder… and I hated reality, for being harsh and painful and for denying me that dark numbness…
But there was one thing I could never hate – Kira… The child who cried because of his guilt and pain; the man who fought for our rights; that wonderful, innocent soul that I loved…
It was the end, but could I let go?
I glanced down at Kira who was sitting between my legs, his head leaning back against my right shoulder. His beautiful amethyst eyes were watching the sun slip below the horizon, his soft brown hair catching the ocean breeze, his pale lips held a slight smile…
Gently, I squeezed his cold hand, feeling the iciness of it.
I didn't want to let go…
You're up there, aren't you, Kira? The place where there is never any sorrow, grief, pain or regret... The place with all the things your beautiful soul desires – peace, love, comfort, protection...
I gazed up at the skies and reached out a hand slowly. How nice it would be, if I could just reach the pale skies that seemed within my reach... I imagined the sky rippling like smooth silk as my finger brushed against it and my hand slipping through it to catch hold of yours on the other side. Can you feel it, Kira? It's my warm hand reaching for you, anxious to feel yours... My soul seeking for you among the clouds and stars...
I knew I was losing him, with every second that ticked by. I wanted to keep holding him, to never let go. It didn't matter if his hand had become alarmingly cold, or if the body leaning against me had begun to feel uncomfortably heavier as he gradually lost his strength to hold himself upright. I didn't want to let go...
"It's so beautiful..." Kira murmured softly. They were the first words he had spoken since I had helped him out of the car and settled down on the cool sand of the beach.
What were you seeing, Kira? I had wondered, if you were watching the sunset or if you were seeing something entirely different... Was it something beautiful beckoning to you?
Was it time to let you go?
I didn't dare to ask him what it was that he felt 'beautiful'... So, I kept quiet, and raised my head to look at the dusk sky instead.
A still calmness had crept into my soul once again. I wasn't worried... not at all... They must be there, waiting for him. I knew they would welcome him with tender, affectionate hands. All of them, who had somehow known this beautiful soul... Tolle Koenig, Aisha, Natarle Badgiruel, Flay Allster, Meer Campbell, Nicol Amalfi, Rey Za Burrel, Ulen and Via Hibiki... I knew they would take him by his hands, whisper encouragements and soothing words as they guided him towards them. Perhaps, that was the beautiful thing beckoning to Kira – the sight of his loved ones...
I prayed to Father, and to Mother to be there for him, because soon, I wouldn't be able to... Please take care of him, in my place...
I tore my gaze away from the skies and turned to glance at the trees not far off, where Athrun and Cagalli had gone to join them. But now, some of them had wandered out of the shadows to catch a better glimpse of Kira. Through the trees, I saw so many familiar faces. Even the children were there, held back by Caridad and Reverend Malchio...
We were all there, to hand him into those loving hands, watching as he drifted further and further away from us...
Was it time to let go?
"It's so beautiful..." Kira repeated, as he smiled. With difficulty, he raised his hand painfully to point at the setting sun. I could only smile and slowly place a hand over his, drawing it close to my heart and clutching it tightly.
"Birdy!"
I glanced up as a flourish of emerald and blonde swooped down towards me. The little creature landed on the top my head, its tiny feet entangling in a few strands of my pink locks. Just like what it always did when Kira was around...
I laughed softly and reached up to pluck Birdy off my head. The small robot cocked its head to a side and stared up at me with its cute ruby eyes. "Birdy?" It called as I cradled it in both hands.
It hopped down from my palm and onto my knee where it stayed still, watching the rushing waves.
"You miss Kira too, don't you?" I smiled gently.
To be sitting there, holding Kira, watching the sunset peacefully... It had been my dream, my desire for so long. Now, it had finally come true and I wished time would stop then, just so I could be with him for endless eternity.
However, the waves just continued rushing in, the sun continued setting. The world was beginning to go to sleep and everything just went on as usual, even as the end drew near...
We gazed into the disappearing sun, our hands entwined in each others' for comfort. There was no need for words... He was too weak to speak, and I wanted to preserve the quiet, peaceful tranquility for him to take away...
"Birdy!"
I jerked upright from surprise as a little emerald bird dived down from the skies and landed on Kira's shoulder. Stunned, I spun my head around to glance into the trees. From afar, I could see Athrun's hands clapped around his mouth in horror while the rest of them stared on in shock.
"Birdy?" Kira whispered, "Is that really you?" I glanced down hurriedly as I felt Kira struggling to get up. Carefully, I tried to help him into a sitting position while he leaned heavily against me for support. Birdy bounded down from Kira's shoulder and into his hand, chirping and bouncing cheerfully. A soft laugh escaped Kira's pale, flaky lips and he held Birdy close, nuzzling its emerald and yellow feathers. The fear that had clutched at me when Birdy had first appeared dissipated when I saw the delight gleaming in those amethyst eyes.
"Birdy!" He rasped weakly, "How did you... Why..." He gazed at me expectantly.
I forced a smile. "We found Birdy broken in the garden several weeks ago. Athrun took a long time to repair him," I lied helplessly, keeping the bitterness out of my voice warily.
To think that, lying had become such an easy feat...
He didn't ask any questions, merely returning his gaze to Birdy again, grinning faintly. "Thank you," He murmured as he stroked Birdy tenderly, "Thank you..."
I felt the familiar wave of guilt and agony wash through me once again.
He had always been so simple and only such a beautiful, untainted soul would be unable to determine that the weak excuse I had given was a pure lie… And yet I was happy about that. Because I knew that no matter what happened, he would always remain untainted and pure…
I watched, amused as Birdy jumped down from my knee and landed gracefully on the sand by my feet. It approached the waves that came rushing in and cautiously hopped to and fro, twittering in excitement whenever it got its feet wet.
I laughed, and raised my head to watch the skies again. I wonder what you're doing up there, Kira…
You're watching us, aren't you?
I know you can see me on the beach right now, and you must be chuckling at Birdy's silly antics...
You're watching us, just like an angel in heaven… That beautiful soul I loved…
The sun was now a mere shallow dome resting on the horizon. Soon, it would be gone, and so would he…
What would life be without him? When he had been well, we had fought together to maintain the peace and repair the devastation caused by the war. It had been difficult, but he was there… And when he was confined within the white walls of the hospital, the pain that had attacked was excruciating. But regardless of the daily hospital visits, the fear of the unpredictable and the constant piercing pain, he was still the one that had kept me running for so long…
And now, he would be gone… and he would never know what had happened…
A torrent of emotions surged through me and all of a sudden, my eyes were glazed with tears. I lost all control of the tears and the hitch in my breathing.
He must have heard, for he shifted in my arms slightly, and tilted his head up to gaze at me.
Hurriedly, I turned away, my eyes seeking the ground. What in the world was I doing? I wasn't supposed to cry... I couldn't, or Kira would know... I chewed my lip repeatedly, my chest tightening uncomfortably from my frantic efforts to stop the tears.
A pale hand came into my vision slowly and cupped my chin with cold, stiff fingers. Something deep within me told me to resist, but I was paralyzed... from fear, anxiety, or guilt... I didn't know. Dazedly, I allowed him to turn my face towards him.
But adamantly, my gaze hovered somewhere in his lap, refusing to meet his eyes. He didn't insist, neither did he say a word... He merely stared silently at me, his thumb stroking my cheek weakly.
How could I look into his eyes, knowing I was the one who had moved him like a pawn across the chessboard? I was afraid... I realized. I was afraid to see that pure innocence in them... We sat in awkward silence for what seemed like hours… And I remembered that this would be the last time, the last time I could gaze into his eyes, caress his hair, and whisper into his ear...
Finally, I lifted my head and met his eyes...
He was watching me, a beautiful, gentle smile playing across his lips. But the most mesmerizing things were his eyes... They caught me, trapping me in a beautiful web of intricate emotions. I was sinking into their amethyst depths, just like how I had fallen so deeply in love with him…
Yet, his face had become hauntingly pale. Uncontrollable tremors and muscle spasms had begun to course through his body.
"I want… to look at you…" He rasped, his voice hoarse and weak, "One last time… before I go…"
One last time… My gaze darted from his eyes to take in all his features. "One last time"… What did Kira know? Was it possible, that he knew our plans? I couldn't tear my gaze away from him. This time, I was paralyzed with terror.
But, he didn't make any indication that he had noticed my apprehension. His smile remained, and his eyes held a loving tenderness. His cold fingers brushed against my cheek and ran through my hair.
Then, his dry lips parted slightly. "Thank you… Lacus…" He paused, gazing into my eyes. Determination shone in them, which seized me in a vice-like grip.
"Thank you… for making my last day so beautiful…" He murmured softly. Slowly, he pulled me into an embrace, his hands weak, yet gentle and loving.
I stared out at the ocean, shocked by the turn of events.
"I-I'm… not good with words… but I want you… to know… that even when I wasn't sure what I was, you were… there for me… Thank you… I want to… remember you face… even when I go… The woman I love…"
Tears were streaming down my face, but I was unaware of them. All I knew, was that the body pressed close to mine was turning colder and stiffer by the minute… and I didn't want to let go…
We were both silent, until I heard his faint whisper, "The world… belongs to you just… as much as you… belong to the world…"
I froze. A faded memory of long ago came drifting back...
"My mother told me something long ago… She said, the world belongs to you, just as much as you belong to the world. For you were born, and that gives you the right to exist…"
The right to exist…
Suddenly, it all came rushing back to me. The confusion of the last week cleared up and the memories flashed through my mind with such painful clarity. The phone calls, the secret meetings, the lies, the meticulous planning… Just what had I done?
I buried my face in Kira's neck and cried hard, heaving sobs wrecking my entire body. It seemed like I had been stumbling in the dark for 6 long years and all of a sudden, a light had been switched on, and I realized that I had been tripping over my own feet. I was gibbering from the force of the sorrow that overwhelmed me, mumbling apologies and requesting for forgiveness.
Abruptly, I realized that time was slipping away, as swiftly as the sand flowing down the curves of an ornate hour-glass. I pushed myself away from Kira and grasped his shoulders, my movements jerky and forceful from the adrenaline rush.
"Kira… Tell me," I burst out, ignoring the tears that spilled over my cheeks, "What do you want? Are you ready to leave?"
He smiled faintly, and gently reached up to touch my face, "No… I don't want to leave… or give up… Not yet…"
But before he could say another word, there was a hitch in his breathing and his breaths came fast and desperate. Shivers and spasms wrenched at his body.
I gripped him in a hug, screaming… Trying to hang on to that beautiful, disappearing soul…
You knew it all along, didn't you, Kira?
But you never said a thing. That's you, isn't it? I don't hate you for not saying anything, because that's what I love about you… Your innocence and purity…
I watched Birdy open its wings and soar into the skies before angling towards the large house on the cliffs. I returned my gaze to the setting sun, and smiled…
We had rushed back to the hospital in anxiety. Athrun had tore through the city, driving past the speed limits while Cagalli rummaged for blankets and cushions in a desperate attempt to make him comfortable and to stem his spasms. I could only hold him tight, whispering endearments through my choked sobs…
The screeching of wheels, the slamming of car doors… Everything flew past in a haze. We dashed through the hospital doors, and crammed into the lifts. I wished the pulsing red numbers on the screen would move faster, the voice that signaled the 7th storey would speak sooner and the metal doors would open quicker…
We ran down the bleak white corridors, screaming for the doctor. Yet, I couldn't do anything but hold his hand while Athrun struggled to carry him.
I noted every spasm, every shiver, every contortion of his facial muscles… and the fear and terror only dug deeper into me.
The large white doors of the operating room slammed shut on us…
Kira made it out of the operation room after over 30 hours of surgery. He was alive, but Chloe said he didn't have long, because he had been away from the medical facilities for an extended period of time… They had done their best, but his body systems had broken down so badly that all they could do was to sustain him for several days…
Painful sobs and cries reverberated around the white corridors for hours.
Even until after he had awakened from the anesthetics…
However, Kira had smiled, a smile hindered by the oxygen mask, but a smile nonetheless. "Hi…" He had whispered, taking my hand with weak fingers. He was so frail, that he couldn't even close his fingers around mine… but I did, I held his hand tight, clutching it, warming it…
Thankful that he had several more days to live…
We took him out of the hospital for the second time, moving all the necessary medical equipment with him. We brought him home, a place he hadn't set foot in for 6 years…
He reminisced on old times with Miriallia, Sai and Kuzzey; he met the crew of the Archangel; he sat with Andrew as he drank his coffee; he joked with Mu and Murrue; he played with Torii and the orphans; he laughed with Cagalli; he chatted with Athrun… and he told me, how much he loved me…
All of us sat with him till he breathed his last, and I held his hand until he closed his eyes. But no one cried this time… because there was a beautiful smile etched in his lips…
There are many things in the world, which often aren't what we think they are…
The malice of war caused by the insatiability of humans, the insuperable myriad of illnesses and diseases that clutched at life and tore it apart slowly and ruthlessly… Painful, harsh reality…
Yet, despite all that, the world is a beautiful place… and everything on it has its own beauty and charm. That, I learnt from the one who had caught my heart… That, was the lesson I saw in Kira – the one with the most beautiful soul I had ever seen.
"Mummy!"
I glanced over my shoulder, smiling at the shrill, excited voice. Half a dozen children were hurtling down the sandy slope, laughing and tumbling over one another in their enthusiasm. With them, came a torrent of crazed haros, bouncing wildly.
"Mummy!" Roy gasped, doubling over from breathlessness as he skidded to a stop right in front of me. One after another, the others caught up and collapsed on the sandy beach in wheezes and fits of laughter. I inclined my head, amused by their antics.
"Aunty Mana wanted us to tell you dinner's ready!" The little boy piped up, as soon as he had managed to get his breathing under control.
"Well, alright then…" I smiled, standing up and brushing the sand of my dress, "Shall we go in for some dinner?"
The orphans cheered and laughed, getting ready to hurl up the slope again in another race.
"Papa? There?" A soft voice inquired softly. I glanced down to see little Miko pointing at the sky with its deepening shades of crimson. She lifted her head to gaze at me, her large eyes bright and innocent.
I crouched down to pick up the sweet little child. She chortled, her chubby little legs flailing before she finally settled down in the crook of my arm. "Daddy. There?" She asked again, reaching out to the horizon.
"Yeah, Daddy's out there," I murmured softly, smiling.
The children surrounding me had quieted down and they stood, watching the sun set. Then Hiroya put his little hands to his mouth and called out to the sunset, "Daddy! We're going in to have dinner with Mummy now! We're come out to say 'Good night' later, okay?"
One after another, the children cried out to the skies and waved at the retreating sun.
"Are you coming up for dinner or not?" A shrill voice shouted, a tinge of annoyance in it. I turned around and saw Cagalli standing at the top of the sandy slope, a hand on her hip while the other supported her bulging stomach. Athrun appeared from behind her and put an arm around her waist. "Come on, kids! You too, Lacus! Dinner's getting cold!"
Carefully, I placed Miko on the ground again and watched as the children giggled and raced up the slope again.
I followed close behind, but before I entered the door, I turned back to gaze at the disappearing sun... and there, I saw him, the gentle breeze playing through his soft brown hair, his beautiful amethyst eyes watching us tenderly as he stretched out a hand towards us. His gentle fingers touched my hair, running through my tresses lightly. Then he bent close, gazing into my eyes... lavender fusing with pale blue... I smiled and closed my eyes as he leaned towards me and grazed his lips over my brow. 'I love you...'
I smiled and closed my eyes, savoring the peaceful serenity.
I knew he would always be there, the angel from heaven, the beautiful soul…
The End
Well, that's the end, so what do you think? I do know that some parts of this chapter may have lost some of its detail and may not be as good. As this is the ending, I expect all sorts of reviews so don't hesitate to criticize and point out any flaws. I accept all criticisms. So, please review!
This is a reminder: I will be writing individual chapters for this story. So, it's not exactly complete. I have 2 or 3 requests now, and I shall begin work as soon as I can. Meanwhile, feel free to tell me what else you would like to see in regards to this story.
Please review!