Chapter 3 Mulder's Revenge
Agent Jack watched the coin spin in the air and return to the hand of Agent Tony who then flipped it over to the back of the wrist, "Call." Agent Tony said.
"Tails." Jack replied without giving it too much of a thought.
"Oooh too bad." Tony replied, "It's heads. Looks like I get first shot at the sexy redhead."
Jack leant over and checked the coin to make sure that he hadn't cheated. Even though he was unhappy with the outcome he had to accept that it was fair, "Good luck with her." Jack said. He always believed in fair play.
The elevator stopped at the basement level and the two Agents stepped out.
"It's like grand central station in here." Mulder said as the two agents walked in.
"Agent Mulder." Jack said excitedly, he had never seen Mulder up this close before, "I'm Agent Jack. I'm so pleased to meet you." He lead Mulder into the second part of the X-File office where the projector was, "I'm a huge fan of your work."
While Mulder was momentarily distracted, Agent Tony saw an opportunity to swoop in on Scully, "I heard you've been having some problems with a couple of agents harassing you." He said to her as he decided to try and take the White Knight approach, "If you want I have a plan to get them off you back… Somebody as beautiful as you shouldn't have to put up with sex crazed Agents." He held onto her hand, "I'll take care of you Dana Scully."
"Oh hell no." Mulder said with eyes that burned fire, "Hell no. Get out. Get away from her." Mulder went into a rage as he physically removed Agent Tony from the office, sure it seemed that the incident in the cafeteria yesterday proved that it was going to be one of those weird weeks… But this was beyond a joke, "The next person to come through that door is going to get what's coming to them!"
Fortunately, Mulder didn't have to wait too long until he had the chance to prove how annoyed he was getting, because Myers waltzed right in. He'd just seen Agent Jack and Tony on the way to the elevator. But that didn't deter him from giving it a go.
"Agent Scully." Myers said, he walked forward but didn't see Mulder stick his leg out which sent Myers flying forward, trip over a chair and landed on his knees, head first into an empty bin.
"Mulder!" Scully called out.
Myers couldn't see as he stood up, "Get it off! Get it off!" He cried, "Ouch." He said as he kneed the filing cabinet. Mulder began laughing at the whole scene as Myers ended up falling onto the table and falling off.
"Here let me help." Mulder said as he helped Myers to his feet… BANG! BANG! Mulder hit the bin downwards to make it stuck even more, "If everybody just goes about their own business, nothing like this would happen." Mulder said.
"I can't get it off." Myers said in such a muffled voice.
"What?" Mulder asked.
"I said I can't get it off." Myers repeated.
"Mulder." Scully said, "He can't see."
"Is that true Agent Myers?" Mulder asked, "You can't see?" Mulder walked over to the computer and used the mouse to click on something, "You want me to get something to help you see?" He asked.
"Yes you moron." Myers said again in a muffled voice.
"Ok ok." Mulder said… He used the mouse to click on something on the computer. The sound of a large drill penetrated the air.
"No… No!" Myers said as he ran head first into the doorframe in order to escape the sound of the computer generated drill.
"It was just the computer." Mulder almost cracked up. Mulder picked up a permanent marker from the desk, "Here just hold still and I will do something to help." Mulder used the marker to draw two eyes a nose and a mouth on the front of the bin, "There."
"How does that help?" Myers asked.
"Well you do have two eyes now." Mulder said as he led him to the elevator and spun him around a few times.
"What are you doing?" Myers asked.
"I'm spinning you around." Mulder said matter-of-factly.
Myers heard the doors open and he ended up trying to get out of the elevator through every wall bar where the doors were. Through the process of elimination Myers finally exited but then he bumped into something… or someone.
Skinner was totally shocked when he saw an agent wearing a bin bumped into him and he fell on his ass with a sickening thud, "What the hell?" Skinner said, "Tell me who's under there."
"muffle, muffle, muffle." Myers answered him but didn't want to give himself up.
"Give me your name agent!" Skinner said, "I'm ordering you to."
"muffle, muffle, muffle." Myers said.
"Show me your badge or you're fired Agent!" Skinner yelled.
Myers reached into his pocket and pulled out his ID. But unfortunately it got caught and as he pulled on it hard, his hand flung out of the pocket with ID and miraculously struck Skinner in the nose sending him falling on his ass again.
"Agent Myers!" Skinner screamed as he got to his feet, "Who did this to you?"
Mulder was called into Skinner's office and waiting on one of the chairs was Myers as well.
"Have you got anything to say for yourself?" Skinner asked Mulder.
"It wasn't my fault Sir." Mulder said, "Agent Myers came into my office today and he tripped over and fell in the bin."
"Didn't you think to help him get out of the bin?" Skinner asked.
"I did try." Mulder said, "But when I couldn't get it removed I offered to drill some eyeholes into it and the guy freaked."
"Is this what happened Agent Myers?" Skinner asked. He was only answered with more silence and this absolutely irritated him. The silliness of the marker drawn face really looked like he was being mocked, "Agent Myers!" Skinner gave him an almighty glare, the best glare he had ever done. But it did no use, Myers couldn't see it. But Skinner saw his own reflection which caused Skinner to scream and jump.
Myers leapt up in complete shock and tripped over Mulder. Mulder stood up and threw Myers against the couch. The couch toppled over along with Myers who suddenly charged at Mulder head first. He sidestepped and Myers ended up clearing AD Skinner's desk.
"Stop it!" Skinner said, "Myers… You get Fuller to take you to the hospital. And Mulder, I want you to check out this address. Now!"
Agent Jack was the first one who had heard the news that Mulder was out of the on the street and headed towards the X-File office while Scully suddenly had a bright idea she was going to call an old friend and call in a favor.
All the nurses in the ER were having a good laugh as they attempted to remove the bin from the agent's head. But Myers' couldn't find it funny at all. Eventually they had to resort to using butter and oil onto the parts that they could get.
Finally they managed to get the bucket off, "This will have to be the first time I've ever been greasy and not had a good time." Myers commented as he went to a basin.
Fuller shook his head, "I heard AD Skinner was really pissed." Fuller said.
"I'm going to get Agent Mulder back big time." Myers said.
"Just let it go." Fuller advised. But the smirk on Myers' face was evidence that hell would freeze over before that happened.
A/N: Ok… Got a bit sidetracked on that one. But there's a cliffhanger there. Myers is planning something for Mulder… Agent Jack looks like he has a free shot at Scully. And any ideas on who Scully might call?