SMUGGLING

"All I wanted to do was come down here and do my work in peace." Fuller complained.

"Shut up Agent Fuller." Mulder said as he was trying to brush Scully's hair a different way, "I can't do a thing with this hair… It's just so impossible." Mulder attempted to do his best stereotypical gay sounding voice.

"Shut up Mulder." Scully joked, "I think you two have found your true calling."

Fuller shook his head as he was trying to paint Scully's nails with black nail polish. But it seemed as if he was getting more polish on her fingers than on the nail, "I'm not even sure this is going to work." He said.

"Well if you actually paint her nails and not her fingers it might work." Mulder looked carefully at Scully who was now sporting black lips thanks to a black magic marker pen, "Just do not lick your lips." Mulder lightly put black marks on Scully's upper eyelids, "Presto… Your transformation is complete."

"Mirror." Scully said.

"Perhaps it's better that you not look." Mulder said.

"Mirror." She insisted. Mulder pulled out a mirror from his desk drawer and handed it to her, "Where or when did you get this make up mirror Mulder?" Scully asked.

"You know what?" Mulder asked, "I don't have the foggiest idea."

"I look like a freak." Scully yelled. She thought she looked like a cross between a goth and the bride of chucky, "I look awful."

"That's the point Scully." Mulder said cheerfully, "If anyone does recognize you there's no way they'd want you while looking like this."

"I bet George would." Fuller said out loud without realizing it.

Mulder couldn't help but smile. If circumstances were different he and Fuller might have been friends, well if he wasn't associated with the annoying little bastard known as Agent George Myers. Wherever he came from, whoever let him come to the FBI Mulder was sure that the sole purpose of Myers' existence was to annoy him.

"Pass me those handcuffs Agent Fuller." Mulder pointed to them sitting on the table, "It's time to get a little kinky."

"I don't think this is going to work Mulder." Scully said as Mulder slapped on the handcuffs.

"Just don't talk. and don't forget to act like a goth." Mulder said, "And it will work. Trust me."

"Trust no one." Scully said as they helped her to her feet.

"Very funny Scully." Mulder commented, "Now, come with us prisoner. You know you would look finished if just let us pierce your nose and put in a nose ring." But that only brought a silent response from Scully. She was very adamant about not having her nose pierced by anyone. Let alone two FBI agents who'd never done it before, "So if it fails it's not our fault." Mulder was smiling.

Scully couldn't help but laugh at that. Even through this was getting beyond a joke she still could see the humor in it. If she weren't to laugh, she'd be in tears at the sight of herself. If Bill or Charles were to see her now, they'd never let her live it down, "Come on G-Woman." Mulder said as they stepped to the elevator.

"This won't work if you call me G-Woman Mulder." Scully told him.

"It will… It's short for Gothic woman." Mulder smiled while Fuller walked on the other side of Gothic Scully, "We should have your hair dyed."

"No way." Scully cut him off. There was no way she would have her hair dyed.

As soon as they exited the elevator and entered the parking lot they were met by Agent Tony Chizzo. He was just coming back to work after shooting some photos at a local crime scene.

"Hello Agent Mulder." Tony greeted out of kindness.

"Agent Tony." Mulder greeted back.

"What have we here?" Tony asked, "My name is Tony Chizzo." He extended his hand to the gothic woman but then saw she had her hands cuffed together, "Have you been a really bad girl have you." TSK TSK, "Maybe you deserve to be punished."

"Agent Tony!" Mulder exclaimed, "Do you mind not talking to my prisoner like that, "We're transferring her."

"Oh come on. What could you have possibly done wrong to warrant this?" Tony wasn't listening to Mulder at all.

"She's a black widow." Mulder said, "Loves a man then kills them." Mulder thought for a moment, "I can let you have her if you really want to."

"Ah, alright then." Tony said, "Hey as they always say… If you're gonna go, go with a smile."

"Well you're not having her." Mulder said.

"Oh alright then." Tony said, "Well I guess I'll just get my photos uploaded and then meet up with Agent Scully then."

"You do that then." Mulder snapped.

They hadn't walked five steps when Agent Jack Harrier approached them, "How are you two fine agents doing today?" Jack asked nicely.

"Hi Jack." Mulder said smiling.

"You know that gets funnier every time I hear it." Jack replied, "But coming from you, it sounds so much sexier… Who do we have here?" He looked at Scully, though he didn't know who it was… Scully was trying hard not to laugh at a male agent flirting with Mulder, "Hello… My name is Jack Harrier. I find black so damn sexy. I'd wear it myself but I spend too much time in front of the mirror as it is." He smiled.

"Well we have to take the black widow here for a transfer." Mulder was fighting the urge to knock Agent Jack there and then. After all, he didn't know who he was hitting on. Fortunately, the mention of a black widow sent people ducking for cover.

"Alright then." Jack said, "I'll see you two later."

"What do you do here anyway?" Mulder said, "Every single time I see you, you're either coming or going down the hallway."

"I interview witnesses and also work in the transcript department." Jack said as if it was common knowledge, "You don't think all those surveillance tapes and recordings get put into words automatically do you?"

"No." Mulder said.

"Alright then." Jack walked into the FBI building.

They were almost at the car when Agent Myers was coming back from God knows where and Mulder didn't care, "Can I speak with you Dean?" Myers asked. He was shocked to be bumping into his friend in the car park.

"Sure." Myers said as Mulder continued taking the prisoner to the car.

"What's up?" Fuller asked.

"I thought I asked you to keep Agent Mulder busy." Myers said.

"I am." Fuller said, "What better way to keep him busy than being by his side." He thought for a moment, "If you don't like what I'm doing or how I'm doing it then find someone else… Because I quit."

"Dean." Myers said, "Since he's been kept busy with something else. I'll let you have the day off."

"Oh golly gee." Fuller replied smiling, "Thank you."

"Now that Mulder is gone for awhile… I'll be able to get some time alone with Agent Scully."

Myers, Pendrell, Tony and Jack had all been searching through the FBI trying to find their Agent Scully but neither of them had any luck. They knew that she had come to work but it was as if she had mysteriously vanished into thin air. They looked at each other blankly when they accidentally met up on the top floor.

"What are you doing?" Pendrell asked. It was a question for everybody.

"Tony and I are on the way to see AD Skinner." Jack said, "What about you?"

"I'm here to speak to AD Skinner about some lab results." Pendrell answered.

"AD Skinner asked me to come and see him about some background checks." Myers said.

Just then Mulder approached and almost bumped into the group of agents. He was off to see AD Skinner because he had just received his call and had some explaining to do quickly. Neither of the other agents wanted to give an inch. So the waiting room next to Skinner's was full. Skinner got a shock when he saw five agents waiting for him and only one of them was the one he wanted to see, "Step into my office." He walked back in.

Unfortunately, Skinner wasn't precise about which one of them he wanted to see and all of the agents were in the office, "You wanted to see me sir?" Mulder asked.

Skinner turned around and was totally put off by the other agents being there, "I've been trying to get in contact with Agent Scully… But she's not in the building." Skinner said.

If the other agents weren't in here, he'd explain the whole situation, "Scully had to go home Sir." Mulder lied convincingly, "She was feeling quite sick. She said it was because she had some bad bacon this morning." It was right then when he felt someone's hand on his backside. They were all male agents in this room and someone had touched his ass, "Alright." He leapt off the chair, "Which one of you fondled my ass?" He had a fair idea who it was but there was no way he could prove it and everyone was staring at him.

"Thanks for letting me know." There was a slight pause of silence, "About Agent Scully." Skinner added, "Now why are you lot here?" Skinner asked the rest.

"You wanted to speak with Jack and I Sir." Tony said.

"No I didn't." Skinner remarked.

"Yes you did." Tony replied.

"What about then?" Skinner asked. Tony was so sure of himself that Skinner thought he must have asked to see them.

"I don't know." Tony said, "You called us remember?"

"Agent Pendrell?" Skinner asked.

"Yes?" Pendrell said, "You wanted to talk about some lab results I gave you last week."

"Which ones were they?" Skinner asked staring blankly.

"I don't know." Pendrell answered.

"You all are dismissed." Skinner said as he wheeled the chair around. Was he really having some memory problems? This could be serious. The agents quickly exited the office leaving Skinner alone with his thoughts. Perhaps Skinner was having some problems because he wasn't getting any younger.

a/n well I've checked through to make sure no mistakes like in the last chapter. I've mentioned Agent Jack and Agent Tony's FBI jobs or last names. So I thought I'll do that.