Me: Hello again, faithful reviewers. I have to tell you all that I am no longer able to post these

myself so my friend Jade post these for me. So, here's the new Chappie, and I love you guys man!

Naruto: JADE ROCKS!!

Me: Yep. We're at her house right now. Em and I. So, we sit here together writing this.

Emma: If you're mean to me again, heh heh heh, Shinobi shampoo for cats, now with added tick remover.

Me: STOP JOKING ABOUT THE TICK!! I'M STILL PARANOID!!

Emma: I know. That's why I said it. I know it was a deer tick that almost injected it's little head into your bloodstream and give you lime disease, but, seriously, I mean, you were almost in tears.

Me: Having a deer tick try to kill you in the middle of the night is a truly terrifying thing! It's not like I can just destroy it with my evil powers! They don't obey the laws of Ayumi world!

Jade: You do realize, I hate all of you! You kept me up til three in the morning because of a stupid tick!

Me: cries It was scary.

Naruto: Um…do you … need me to comfort you?

Me: Naruto, you've been replaced by Goku from Saiyuki.

Naruto: But…but… Goku can't be a gangsta, can he?

Me: Ahem. Goku.

Goku: Back off my home girl, yo!! Ayu, can I have food?

Emma: Oooh! Me too! I want a chili dog!

Me: Um…Goku yes, Emma, no.

Emma: Sneaks up behind Ayumi and runs finger up and down the back of her neck OMG!! AYU, IT'S A TICK!!

Me: Screams and cries like a little baby, running into Goku's open arms DON'T LET IT KILL ME!! I DON'T WANT LIME DISEASE!!

Emma: Omg. I actually have power. This is a truly good feeling.

Me: (Ok, so, we kinda played hide and seek tag and I hid in the bushes and got a deer tick, and it bit me, and then it was sucking my blood, and Emma kept making a big deal out of it by going, "Ayu, just breathe, and while you're breathing, sign this will that says I get to inherit everything of yours". And then, it tried to inject it's head into my bloodstreaM AND GIVE ME BLOOD DISEASE AND KILL ME!! And then Jade's daddy dumped rubbing alchohol on it and we dumped the tick down the toilet. And thus, I have survived. Although I'm quite cold.) I DON'T WANNA DIE!!

Goku: Honey, there's no tick.

Me: Glares Hey Goku, let's have strawberry shortcake!

Emma: Me too!

Me: Never!

Emma: Goes into a corner and sobs

Me: Anyways, on with teh Gangsta story!

--

"So, what was all that about light side and dark side?" Hatori asked.

"You weren't listening at all, were you?" Emma said with a sigh.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking?"

"FINE! SEE IF I EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!"

About three minutes of silence passed before she turned to look at him again.

"Um…who are you? Why are you sitting next to me. You're hot. Has anyone told you that."

"I'm 27."

"And looking good! Hey, there's only a…" She stopped to count on her fingers. "…twelve years difference. We can make it work out."

Hatori looked at her sternly. " Oh can we now?"

"If you try I will." She winked at him seductively and tried to run a hand up his thigh.

He grabbed her hand, his face red, completely and utterly shocked.

"Well, well, well, goody goody goes bad."

"Jeez Tohru, I didn't think you were up to mocking others yet." Risa said quietly.

"Shut up or I'll castrate you with a spork!" Tohru glared.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! THE SPORKS ARE COMING!! THE SPORKS ARE COMING!! RUN AWAY!!"

--

Me: HE KNOWS IT WORD FOR WORD!! I DON'T THINK HE'S CUTE ANYMORE!!

Emma: So what if he's quoting caveman stuff. Ah well. He's mine now.

Me: You take the hot rock star nerd! You take him and you run!

Emma: Ok. You know what I think?

Me: Um….Dur?

Emma: CLOSE! But no. I think it's time for, (rock star nerd quotes caveman dude and asks for inferno sauce) SHINOBI SHAMPOO, FOR CAVEMEN AND CATS!!

Me: NOOO!! Oh, and readers just so you know, we're watching Instant Star. And they just started fighting like nerdy cavemen.

Emma: I know. It was sexy.

Me: I'm…highly disturbed. Back to the story.

--

Emma buried her head in Hatori's chest, her arms conveniently wrapped around his waist, one hand on his back, and the other…down lower.

"Save me please!! Don't let them get me! Oh wow, you have a nice bum. And I conveniently have a bottle of chloroform in my back pocket if you would kindly pull it out for me."

Ayumi laughed wickedly. "I kinda happened to drug her."

"Thanks ever so much! I kinda happened to throw a deer tick at you." Hatori grinned.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH –BREATH- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH –BREATHES PANICKEDLY- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DON'T LET IT KILL ME, PLEASE!!" That's what Ayumi would have said, if she hadn't evilly fainted. But she kinda did. Oh well.

And at that moment, Hatori figured Emma's one weakness.

"You dropped your pocket."

"WHERE? POCKET!! POCKET? WHERE ARE YOU?! HATORI WHAT HAPPENS TO POCKETS WHEN THEY DIE?"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"Awwww….will Mr. Pocket be ok?"

"No." Ayumi had woken up and realized there was no tick and was now, excuse the pun, ticked. "Y'see his soul will eternally be devoured by leprechauns from the place of fire."

"I like fire! See, I got my lighter."

"Where do these things come from!?" Hatori demanded.

"Mr. Pocket. He gives me lotses of stuff. He's really nice. That's why I gotses to find him."

"This fire isn't cool."

"Is too!"

"Nu uh. Cuz it's invisible."

Emma began sobbing like a baby. Then she looked up. "Is the invisible fire hot? Does it buuuuurn you?" She asked dementedly.

"No. It's like an open closet."

"NOOOOOOO!! MR. POCKET!!"

Hatori sighed, and stuck his hand in her back pocket. "Oh look…I found him." He said through gritted teeth.

--

Me: I think I'll end it off there. We had even better ideas, but they involved death, and the bubonic plague, and influenza, and a note from Mr. Pocket giving Emma the talk, and Risa mysteriously becoming a fat lard, and rockstar cavemen.

Emma: What good ideas they were.

Me: No they weren't. Except the note. That was kinda funny. Kinda.

Emma: What note.

Me: The one giving you the talk about not eating away your depression.

Emma: Oh. That note.

Me: Yeah. That note. Well, I'm going to make Goku read and memorize the myspace perfect boyfriend chart. Buh bye!

Hey Em here. Shh… Ayu doesn't know that I'm writing this note on her fic, so won't she be surprised when she sees it! Okay… no she won't. She's reading over my shoulder. I just wanted to say that I'm not really this dopy in real life. I'm actually quite smart. Okay, granted I'm failing Biology class… but that doesn't count! Our teacher is evil! And not Ayumi evil. Teacher evil… which is possibly the worst of all evils. Anyhoo… ya. I have nothing left to say… OMG! DEER TICK!

Ayu: OMG! WHERE!?

Me: Haha… I can't wait to do that at school. Review Ayu's story! Thanks!