Disclaimer: I'm not gonna add these anymore everyone knows…(sniff) That I don't own The Mummy or…Rick, Jonathon and Henderson. I OWN LAURIE! And I own The Mummy DVD so HA!
My Reviewers: I love ya'll.
EVELYN'S CABIN – NIGHT
"Oh for goodness sakes it wasn't that good of a kiss." Evie huffed putting her book down and brushing her hair. There was a small crash and Evie looked down and noticed her book had fallen. She sighed, bent down and picked it up. She picked up her brush once again and screamed. A hideous looking Mumia slammed her against the wall and held up his hook to scare her.
"Where is the map?" He demanded. Evie's terrified eyes glanced down and she nodded her head in the direction of the table. "And they key? Where is the key?"
"The key? They key, what key?" She asked confused. Suddenly, Rick kicked the door open.
"Evelyn!" He shouted. The mumia grabbed Evie and put him in front of her. Rick froze. "Friend of yours?" Evie glared at him. Suddenly, the shutters burst open and someone begins shooting Rick. He shoots once and the man is dead. As more men come, Rick accidentally shot a lantern which made the room go on fire. Evie took that as her chance to escape. She grabbed the candle on the table and shoved it in the mumia's eye. He screamed in pain and let go of her as he rubbed his eye. Rick grabbed Evie and yanked her out of the room. Evie ran down the hall but came to a screeching halt.
"The map…the map! We forgot the map!" She shouted trying to run in the room again.
"Relax. I'm the map." He told her. "It's all up here."
"Oh, that's comforting." She moaned as he pulled her around the corner.
"Come on, there's still more of these men around."
"Where's Jonathon and Laurie?"
"Jonathon's probably off stealing while your sister is fighting." Evie glared at Rick.
EVELYN'S FLAMING ROOM - NIGHT
Hot wax drips out of the mumia's eye and down his face as he looks for the key. He finally finds it and bends over to pick it up when the door is burst open and he is hit in the ass which sends him flying into the flames.
"Evy!" Jonathon yelled. "The map." He bends down to reach it when a hook slams into it. Jonathon grabbed the key and the map anyway and then he ran out of there.
THE DECK – NIGHT
"Take that!" I shouted shooting a man in the heart. He slumped over on the wall and died. "I must say, I am good."
"Can you swim?" Someone shouted from behind me. I spun around and saw Rick and Evie.
"Of course I can swim, if the occasion calls for it." Rick picked up Evie and she started squiggling.
"Trust me," He shouted throwing her into the water. "It calls for it." He dived in after her and I was all alone. Well, for a while.
"Americans." A familiar voice from behind me said. I smiled and turned around. There was Jonathon.
"JON!" I yelled. He spun around and looked at me.
"Laurie." He shouted running towards me. "Thank goodness you're all right. Is Evie ok?"
"She's fine and off the ship."
"Thank God." Suddenly, something grabbed me and Jonathon from behind. I turned around and was pulled up into the air. My air supply was being blocked off. I looked down and saw a flaming mumia.
"Yee haw!" Someone yelled and shot him off the railing. I fell to the floor and looked at our rescuer. He winked at me and I blushed.
"I say," Jonathon began helping me stand up. "Good show."
"And did we panic?" I asked Jonathon. He threw the box up in the air and caught it.
"I think not." He smiled. A huge flame burst off and Jonathon and I jumped off the ship.
NILE RIVERBANK – NIGHT
Evie, Rick, Jonathon and I wade out of the water and look back at our burning ship.
"We've lost everything!" Evie cried. She wrung out her nightgown and Rick was watching out of the corner of his eye. "The equipment, books…all my clothes."
"Hey O' Connell." Beni shouted from across the river. "Looks to me like I got all the horses." He added smugly. Deceitful little bastard.
"Hey Beni, looks to me like your on the wrong side of the river." Beni laughed slowly but then stopped and looked around. He started cursing and kicking the water angrily.
"He is?" I asked.
"Look around Laurie."
"Oh yeah, I remember now because that's where I knocked out Beni." I smiled pointing to a bush.
"Yeah." He chuckled.
"What are we going to do?" The warden asked.
"Who saved him?" I asked angrily.
"No one did. I swam out here myself, I didn't die." The warden smiled.
"Pity." I whispered to Jonathon. The flaming barge slowly started to sink and we began to walk into the darkness.
BEDOUIN TRADING POST - DAY
"Five…five I only want five!" Jon shouted at the trader. "Can you believe the price of these fleabags?" He asked Rick.
"Will you just pay the man?" Rick told him.
"Fine." He said handing the man a wad of cash. The trader snatched the money and shoved the reins into Jonathon's hands. "Oh yes, aren't we happy now." He gave one of the reins to me and one to Rick.
"We coulda had 'em for free. All ya had to do was give 'em your sister." Rick said.
"Yes, awfully tempting, wasn't it?" Jonathon asked as Evie emerged from a tent. She was wearing a gorgeous, tightly fitted, Bedouin dress
and her eyes were covered in khol. The surprising thing was for once in her life, her hair was down.
"Awfully." Rick finally said. I looked at him and smirked.
"Close your mouth." He gave me a look. "Do you need help, Evie?"
"Yes please." She blushed. He picked her up and put her on her camel. He turned and looked at me. "Do you need help Laurie? Remember last time?"
"Hey! That camel was pure evil." I shouted defensively as Rick put me on my camel.
"Mhmm, sure it was." He joked.
"Jackass."
SAHARA DESERT SAND DUNES - DAY
The sun was beating down on us and I thought I was going to die.
"Never did like camels. Filthy buggers. They smell, they bite, the spit. Disgusting." Jonathon said. The warden attacked a chicken wing with his green, rotting teeth and spit a piece of it out into the desert. Flies were swarming around his head as drool escaped out of his mouth.
"Yeah, disgusting." I said holding down the vomit that was crawling up my mouth.
"Well, I think they're cute." Evie smiled patting the camel's head.
"Of course you do. You think everything's cute." Jonathon told her.
"So? What's wrong with that?"
"Well, that means you think that the warden is cute." Rick whispered to Evie. Evie's eyes went wide and she scowled.
FRYING PAN - NIGHT
The moon shined down on us as we traveled through the dark and surprisingly cooler desert. Jonathon, Evie and the warden were sound asleep as Rick and I were leading the camels into the right direction.
"What do you thinks going to happen this time?" I asked Rick.
"Something bad." He told me.
"You're so negative."
"Well then, what do you think is going to happen?"
"I think, this time, we will find some treasure and hopefully our Lieutenants rotten corpse."
"Nice." Rick said in disgust.
"God, he snores to bloody loud!" I yelled looking at the warden. Jonathon's eyes slowly opened and he looked at the warden.
"Hit him Jon." Jonathon grabbed his whip and whipped the warden in the face. He pretended to be asleep as the warden, I mean, as smelly woke up looking all over the place. Evie slowly started to fall of her saddle and Rick pushed her up slowly not waking her. The camel snorted and Rick shushed it. The camel wasn't the one snorting, it was me.
"Look." Rick said pointing up at the ridge. I looked up and saw the men that I had seen three years ago and this exact spot.
GIANT SAND DUNE - ENDLESS HORIZON - DAY
The dawning sun hasn't yet crested the distant horizon but alas, Jonathon and Smelly are already fighting.
"And you snore." Jonathon argued.
"I don't snore!" Smelly argued back.
"All night you snored." I told him.
"I have never snored." Jonathon and I rolled our eyes. I looked up at Evie and Rick.
"We're almost there." He told her.
"Are you sure?" She asked him. Rick looked down at the ground.
"Pretty sure." He said looking back up.
"Lovers." I whispered. Jonathon snorted and I hit him.
"Not sure I deserved that." He said rubbing his arm.
"Trust me, you did."
"Bloody hell!" Jonathon said just noticing the skeletons sticking out of the ground. Some were still…juicy, while others were bleached white and missing body parts.
"Other seekers of Hamunaptra." Smelly shivered. I looked down and I could have sworn I had seen our Lieutenant.
"Good morning my friends!" I looked up and saw Beni. My camel trotted up and bit and I was right beside Rick. Evie was on his right side and Jonathon and Smelly were behind us. Rick just nodded and turned his gaze back at the horizon. Beni and I do the same.
"Well, what the hell we doin'?" Daniels asked.
"Patience my good sahib, patience." Beni told him.
"First one to the city O' Connell." Henderson said looking at Rick. I looked over and smiled. There was something about that man that was so very…wonderful. "Five hundred cash bucks." Rick just nodded again and didn't stop looking at the horizon. I turned back and waited.
"Get ready." Rick said pulling a bit on the camels reins.
"For what?" Evie asked.
"We are about to be shown the way." The sand began to lift and slowly the wind brought the sand up and there it was Hamunaptra.
"Here we go again." I muttered. "GO!"
"HEYA!" Burns, Daniels and Henderson said at the same time. The Americans were speeding to catch up with me and soon I had dropped back a bit. I was right beside Henderson.
"You think a little lady such as yourself can beat us." He yelled.
"I assure you, I am not a lady." I smiled. He glanced at me and then kicked his horse. I cracked the whip and we were still neck to neck.
"Just save yourself the humiliation." He smiled.
"Use your own advice." I shouted cracking the whip again. I sped in front of him and laughed. "See you later."
"Teet teet teet teet. Hut hut hut hut." Evie chanted petting her camel. Rick smiled at her and she laughed. Her camel moaned and began to go faster she gave Rick and scared look and raced off into the city.
"Go Evie, go!" Jonathon shouted. We had won.
"YES! SEEMS LIKE YOU ALL OWE RICK FIVE HUNDRED BIG ONES!" The Americans cursed and yelled. The got off there horses and I smirked at Henderson.
"Humiliated?" I asked.
"Far from it." He said spitting out some Tobacco.
"Men." I muttered in disgust and walked away. I felt his eyes on me, but I paid no never mind to it.
HAMUNAPTRA - DAY
"Where'd all these camels come from?" Daniels asked.
"They belong to the dead. They will wait years for their masters to come back."
OUR HEROES DIG - DAY
"That thing gives me the creeps." Jonathon said staring at the Anubis or whatever the hell it's called.
"Be nice. That thing saved my life." I said handing Evie a cloth.
"That 'thing' gets me excited." Evie said.
"The things that get you excited." Rick said sarcastically.
"Well, according to Bembridge Scholars, inside the statue of Anubis was a secret compartment, which may contain The Book of the Living."
"What are those mirrors for?"
"Ancient Egyptian trick. You'll see." Evie smiled.
"Um, here I got this for you. It's from one of our American brethrens." Rick stuttered handing Evie a bag of tools. "What are you looking at?" He asked Smelly.
"Let's go." I smiled rappelling down into the crevice.
EMBALMER'S CHAMBER - DAY
"Do you realize we are standing in a room that no one has entered in a thousand years?" Evie asked Rick.
"So?" I asked peering into the darkness.
"What is that God awful smell?" Jonathon asked wrinkling his nose.
"Um, Jonathon…look up." I whispered.
"Oh." He muttered glancing at Smelly.
"I don't care that no one has entered it. I don't see any treasure." Smelly said.
"You're welcome to my share of the spider webs." Rick joked.
"Here we are." Evie smiled wiping another metal disk. She wiped all the cobwebs of it and then moved onto another one. "And then there was light." She moved it and all of a sudden there light filling the entire room.
"Hey, that is a neat trick." Rick said grabbing the torch from out of my hand.
"Hey! That was mine." I hollered.
"Sorry, you aren't trust with 'em." Rick smiled.
"That was an accident."
"What accident?" Evie asked.
"She burnt my pants last time." Rick told her.
"You were pissing me off…I mean, it slipped!"
"Laurie, you're evil." He mumbled.
"Oh my goodness, this is a preparation room." Evie gasped walking ahead of us.
"Preparation for what?" Rick asked.
"For entering the afterlife." I said in a creepy voice.
"Mummies my good son. This is where they made the mummies." Jonathon said lighting his torch and walking beside me. As we began to walk down a narrow passageway, Rick and I took out our guns and walked ahead of everyone.
LABYRINTH - DAY
We began to walk through the small cobweb infested labyrinth when all of a sudden a small rumble could be heard. We all froze. We all glanced at one another and kept moving as the sound got louder and louder. Evie held her breath, Jonathon licked his lips and Rick and I cocked our guns. That's when it all happened, smelly farted.
"Dear God!" I yelled. "That is nasty."
"I am so sorry."
"I bet you are ol' chap." Jonathon exclaimed holding his breath.
"Let's just keep going." Rick groaned.
"Anubis." Evie gasped forgetting everything that had just occurred. That's when the noise could be heard again.
"I swear to God, if you fart I will have your guts for garters." I threatened.
"It's not him, Laurie." Rick said motioning for me to come over. I pulled out my gun and we crept slowly to the side of the Anubis. The sounds grew closer. I cocked my gun and got ready. Evie grabbed the torch from Rick and went behind me. He looked at me and nodded. We leapt out from behind the Anubis but we didn't react. It was the Americans. Jonathon moaned and Smelly burped. I glanced at him and shuddered.
"Ya scared the bejeezus out of us O' Connell." Henderson gasped.
"Likewise." I smiled. We slowly lowered our guns but kept them ready in our hands.
"Well it was nice seeing you gentlemen but we have a lot of work to do." Evie smiled sweetly. That poor girl didn't know what she was in for.
"Push off." The Egyptologist said.
"We got here first." Evie growled. Good girl. Everyone raised their guns up again and pointed them at each other.
"This here is our statue…friend." Daniels smirked.
"I don't see your name on it…pal." Rick replied.
"Ten to one O' Connell. Your odds are not so good, are they Carnahan?" Beni smiled.
"I've had worse…so has Rick." I whispered dangerously.
"Yes, me too." Jonathon piped up clenching a tiny derringer. Rick gave him a side ways glance. Beni cocked his gun and I could tell the stupid bastard wanted it to happen. As the tension thickened, Evie came over and pulled Rick's arm down.
"Let's be nice children, if we are going to play together we must learn to share." She said calmly. "There are other places to dig." Rick smiled and lowered his guns. Jonathon and the warden followed his lead but I kept mine up.
"Laurie." Rick sighed. I looked at him and then back at the Americans.
"You always thought you were tough didn't you, Carnahan?" Beni smiled.
"Beni, I wasn't the one who pitifully crawled away from a fight three years ago." I smiled. I spat at his feet and left. The Americans began laughing at Beni and I smirked in satisfaction.
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I LOVE THIS CHAPTER!
Jack: Review savvy!