TITLE: Love Hurts

FANDOM: She's the Man

RATING: T may change to M later

PAIRING: Olivia/Viola

SUMMARY: Olivia breaks down after the revelations.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I'm pretty sure this story is coming out of my head. Can anything really be yours after it's out of your head?

"I do care about you Olivia."

I'm not sure how long I was out, but I was so relived to wake up alone. I really yelled at her, I was sure I wouldn't have the guts to do that…

I tried, I really did try to not think about the situation. I mean, here I am laid out in a hospital bed, haven't eaten in days and still, all my mind could do was think about her. When did I stop referring to her as a he? She had said she cared about me, and a part of me, went all warm and tingly at the thought. She's obviously lying, if she cared at all, I wouldn't me in this mess. The thing that was bugging me, after days of nearly killing myself in denial, now came easily. Maybe it's the drugs? I remember each little thing that My Sebastian had done to make me fall for him. Each little vulnerability, all the random little quirks and I couldn't even force myself to think about him as a boy anymore. I fell in love with all of her most girly qualities. I fell in love with a girl. How did that happen?

It was just there. As much as that thought scared the hell out of me, I was able to think it without the violent denial that had put me in the hospital. Is it my fault I'm here? She didn't make me deny what I was feeling. Everything was just easier if I could put all the blame on her. but I knew that I was as much, if not more at fault for putting myself in that bed as she was.

I don't know if you have anything to compare it to, but when you realize certain very profound things about yourself. It can suddenly color all of your previous memories. I remember when we were little Maria and I would practice kissing. But I was still all 'eww boy cooties' at the time. I remember my first boyfriend, and how quickly I dumped him after his voice started changing. I remember earlier this year when I was dating Jeremy, he was home for the summer after his first year of college. And everything seemed to be going good until I brushed against him on the beach. His legs felt so gross, all fuzzy and rough. After which I started pulling away till he dumped me. Oh my God, it's true. I'm a lesbian.

Why am I not more freaked out? The fact that I was calm was for some reason bothering me more than the realization that I was gay. No wonder I liked Viola, she made a terrible boy.

For the first time in days I drifted off to sleep feeling slightly better.

Good things never last… I woke up to find my parents there with me. Now don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but they are not the first people you want to see after realizing you're into cross-dressing soccer playing girls…

"Liv honey, we came as soon as we heard. Are you alright?" has mom been crying? I've never seen her cry.

"I feel a little better. I didn't mean to ruin your trip, I'm sorry."

"The nurse said you've been crying a lot, this better not be about some boy!" great, Mom's crying and Dad is mad.

"No dad, no boys. I'm so sorry I ruined your trip." Please don't cry "I didn't mean to make you worry."

Way the wrong thing to say. I could see it in Dad's eyes as soon as I said it.

"You did this to yourself? What was it pills? Drugs? Please tell me…"

"No Dad, it was nothing like that." Oh God, that's not enough of an explanation… what on earth could I say that would satisfy them? The truth?

"Then what was it? You're not bulimic or something are you?"

I almost had to smile at that, only my Dad could make throwing up sound worse than drugs.

"No Dad, but speaking of food. I think I could keep some down right now. Aren't hospitals supposed to come with Jello?"

At least that made my Mom smile a little.

"I'll go ask the nurse, but you still need to tell us what's going on."

"I will Dad, but can we just do that at home? Please?"

I could tell he didn't want to, but he sighed, and left. I assume to go find me my Jello. My Mom just stared at me, I know she wanted to say something. But she wasn't going to here. And why on earth am I thinking about Viola in the red dress from the carnival now? Because it's one of the only times I got to see her as her, not pretending to be someone else.

After sitting in silence for a few minutes, my Dad came back, with a nurse and I got to eat for the first time in 5 days. Wow has it really been that long already? After she handed me the little cup of Jello, she wrote some stuff on my chart.

"Mr. Lennox, we are going to need you to sign a few forms down at the nurses' station."

"I'll be right there, will she get to come home soon?"

"If she can keep some food down for a couple of hours then she should be able to leave tonight."

I had to smile a little about that, I hate hospitals. But then thinking of the conversation I needed to have when I got home, the smile faded rather quickly.

5 Long hours later, I finally sat down on the couch at home. I'd so much rather be in my room at school. After the silent car ride, my Dad looked like he was going to snap, his face and neck were a very not good shade of red. And I knew he was going to yell before I got to say anything.

"Olivia, I never thought you would be so irresponsible! I can't believe you would try to keep it a secret, The doctors wouldn't even tell me what was wrong I had to figure it out on my own!!"

Huh?

"I want to know who the father is RIGHT NOW!!"

Oh my God, he thinks I'm pregnant!! I tried I honestly did. But I couldn't stop the smile that was slipping onto my face… I can't help it, that's the funniest thing I've heard in days! I knew that the smile would be bad, I knew no one would take it well. But I couldn't stop it. It was just so ludicrously funny.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT THIS SECOND!! The next thing out of your mouth will be the fathers' name, or you will never set foot outside this house again!!"

"Daddy, I'm not pregnant, I'm still a virgin…"

I managed to keep my voice small and quiet, but the smile was still there. Seriously is my body mad at me for something? Control yourself!

Over in the corner I herd my mothers quiet "Oh thank God" but I just watched as my Daddy's sail lost all its wind.

"Liv, can you please just tell us what's going on?"

I sighed, took a deep breath and started telling them about the past three weeks. I started from the beginning. Not letting them know Viola was Sebastian till they understood that I was already past it being a simple crush. I'm not sure when along the way I decided not to tell them I was a lesbian, they didn't need to know that. I just finished by letting them know, that even though I was still furious at her for lying to me, I still loved Viola. And that I had made myself sick trying to convince myself that I didn't.

My mom looked so sad, but Dad was kind of smiling a little bit.

"Does this mean there won't be any more boys?" he asked hopefully, and I just had to smile at that.

"Probably Daddy, I just realized a lot of stuff last night, and I'm going to need to think about it for a while."

"Mom? Are you okay?"

She looked at me for a second, then back to her lap "I think I'll feel better when I meet this Viola girl." She said.

"I did mention that she doesn't think of me that way right?"

A brief flicker of a smile came over my Mom's face "You told her you were going to kiss her right?"

"Yeah…"

"Did she do anything to try to convince you not to?"

"No…"

"So you're telling me that if say, that Malcolm kid you're always complaining about said he was going to kiss you. You wouldn't try to stop him?"

"Eww, yes I'd slap him the second he said it…" Could she be right? Did Viola want me to kiss her?

I think the conversation continued for a while, but I wasn't paying any attention. I just kind of drifted through the rest of the day caught up in thoughts of kisses I hadn't had. I wondered what her lip gloss would taste like. I wanted to run my hands through her hair… she has really amazing hair. Smiling I thought about going shopping for shoes with her…

She was all I thought about, and after finally going to bed. I wasn't surprised to find myself dreaming about her too.

I'm sorry, I promise Viola will be making her presence known next chapter. Is it weird that I picture Olivia's dad as J.K. Simmons? He just played the Dad bit so well in Juno…

Thank you so much for the Reviews!! I've never written for other people before, it's really fun.