TITLE: Love Hurts

FANDOM: She's the Man

RATING: T may change to M later

PAIRING: Olivia/Viola

SUMMARY: Olivia breaks down after the revelations.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I'm pretty sure this story is coming out of my head. Can anything really be yours after it's out of your head?

I just curled up on the floor of their room and cried.

The next week was kind of like a dream to me, every day from the time I woke up, till I fell asleep, there was this pain gnawing at my stomach, and I didn't have a clue what to do. Viola wouldn't speak to me, Eunice had instructions to make sure I wasn't at the door before opening it. And worst of all she was back to apologizing and flirting with Duke.

The only thing that made me smile was when I told Maria that I was gay. She got this big smile on her face, and then acted all hurt and offended that she wasn't the first girl I hit on. I had no idea that she would be so great about it. I can't believe I avoided telling her for so long.

I was in this really self-defeating mood all the time. Every plan I started to have for getting Viola talking to me again, I had dismissed before even working out any details. Till I stopped trying to even think about it anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still loved her. I just couldn't imagine a way she would forgive me when she wouldn't talk to me.

I'm not sure when I started getting mad at her again. But I was. If I was trying to hurt you, why would I even try to talk to you afterwards? Did she even try to figure out why I would kiss her, and give myself that social scar if I wasn't into her?

Its kind of funny, kiss one girl in the hallway and I get private shower time for the rest of the year? Even if I hadn't totally loved kissing her, the private showers were almost worth kissing her for. I'm still not really sure what everyone thinks about me, that's not completely true, a few guys told me that after seeing me kiss another girl. I went from hot, to perfect. Guys are so predictable, why did I think I liked them? They aren't psychotic, emotionally unbalanced, and vindictive like girls are?

Sorry, kind of got off on a rant there. Anyhow I started getting mad at her, then I got mad at me, and finally I got mad at everyone else. Which is when I decided I should hunt down whoever it was that decided to ruin my life with that video.

"Maria, I need your help."

"With what? It's not a gay thing right?" I could hear her smiling over the phone.

She's never mean about it, but I don't think I'm going to hear the end of it for quite a while.

"Sorry but no, if you can just get over your disappointment, I'm trying to figure out who took that video."

"Cool, its like The L Word meets Nancy Drew, I'm so there."

"Did I ever tell you, that you're kind of a freak?"

"Love you too, I'll be over in a few minutes."

I think her new mission in life is to make me uncomfortable. Luckily thus far she has failed.

She walked into my room about 15 minutes later, without knocking by the way, and set down her teddy bear backpack on my bed next to me.

"God your lazy, did I misunderstand? Does help mean 'come do it for me' now?"

I had to smile at her, there is a reason she's been my best friend for years.

"Yeah, didn't you hear? I wanted you to come over and do it for me." I said in the most suggestive voice I could muster.

"Eww your so gross. Get off your fat ass, and draw the floor plan for that hall."

"Hey! My ass is not fat!" I pouted, but I got up anyway.

"No kidding, when was the last time you ate?" she said, while pulling her laptop out of the teddy bear.

"Lunch, I think."

"By lunch do you mean Gold's famous apple and sandwich? Cause that's a pretty pathetic amount of food."

"I haven't really been into the whole eating thing lately."

"Liv, you haven't been into the whole living thing lately. When was the last time you went for a jog, or came over to my room?"

"I went for a run last week?"

"Yeah, right before your 'date' with Viola. You're just proving my point."

"Fine, here I drew the hall, this is Viola and Eunice's room, where we were standing. Here's Tracee's room, and over by the end of the hall is that goth-girl's room. Whats her name again?"

"The one with all the piercings? That's Megan. We went to kindergarten with her."

"We did? I don't remember her at all."

"She was blonde then, and always wore that purple coat with the bunny ears on the hood."

"Oh my god! What happened to her? She used to come over to my house and play Barbie's."

"What do you mean, what happened to her? What happened to you? You used to go out with boys."

"Okay seriously now, from the angle that video is shot from. It would have had to be Megan's room."

"Why would she want to tape you making with the lesbian lip-lock?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her in years."

"I guess that my side kick and I, should go have a talk with her."

"Why am I the side kick?"

"Because you're all scrawny, and defensive of your ass. You're just like Robin!"

"You are in need of some serious professional psychological help Maria."

"Come on. Get up we're going to go question the suspect!" She said, pulling me up off my bed.

I'd never tell her, but talking to Maria, makes me think I'm a kid again. And thinking I'm a kid, is WAY better than thinking like a heartbroken school girl. God is that what I've become?

I was kind of staring out the window, while Maria was trying to knock loud enough to be heard over the music. It was raining and gloomy out, the perfect weather to fit how I was feeling, and after a few seconds looking outside. My slightly better mood Maria had given me was gone.

Just as I sighed, lightning hit the Science building across from me, making me jump mid sigh. And giving me the hiccups. What a perfect day, maybe I can fall down some stairs, or get stabbed today. Then at least I'd have physical pain to concentrate on.

Finally Maria just kicked the door, pretty hard too. And the music died. When Megan popped out, instead of listening to her. I tried to find my old friend in her. she had short spiked hair, dyed black with red tips. Eyebrow, lip, and nose rings. But underneath that. I did see the girl with the bunny coat. And it made me sad. Why didn't I stay friends with her? How many people had I just forgotten about since I grew my boobs and got popular? At least I wasn't mean to any of them. I was never one for teasing or being mean. I just stopped hanging out with them.

It was about then, I noticed Maria snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Huh? What?"

"Dude, were you listening at all?"

I did that half smile, half shrug thing. That clearly said I hadn't been listening.

"Keep it up, you'll be on Ritalin, before you Graduate. Megan said she wasn't even here that day, and she doesn't have a room mate."

"There was no one else in the hall, that I know of. Who could have taped it?"

"Sometimes at night there is someone over in the science building. They don't turn on the lights. But I see their flashlight sometimes." Megan said grimacing slightly. "I always thought they were spying on me, so I keep my curtains closed at all times."

"Is there anyone that you can think of that would want to watch you?" Maria asked

"Not that I can think of."

"Well thank you for your help. We'll let you know if we find out anything."

I really wanted to undo the damage I had inadvertently done. So without really thinking I asked Megan:

"Hey do you want to do something this weekend?"

"I'd love to, but my girlfriend would never forgive me." She smiled before closing her door.

I blame it on my being new to the whole lesbian thing. How do you ask a friend to go hang out, without it sounding like you want to make out with them?

I must have been big with the wide eyed shock, because Maria started laughing pretty hard. She didn't stop till well after we were back in my room.

"Well now that you've laughed at me, chastised my poor diet and exercise habits, and made fun of my ass, what do you think? I've obviously put up with you enough to earn your help."

"I think that tomorrow we are going to search the Science building for clues, Nancy!"

"Hey your Nancy remember, I'm the L word part of the equation."

"After your little scene with Megan, how could I forget?" And she was laughing again. I even laughed a little this time.

I fell asleep that night feeling better than I had since I saw that video.

Am I supposed to know where the story is going before I write it? Cause I'm just winging it and letting the characters in my head decide what's going to happen.

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