Note: Wow...i got a lot of interesting results. Ahahaha. And I'm continually being torn apart with the whole...Risa being with the guys thing. Lol. Ah well you'll see what i dished up anyway. I'm sorry for the delay. You know, summer vacation and all. So far I've been to three states in the course of a month. Then when I get home, I get food poisoning because of some fish I ate. You know what! Fuck you fish! A big fuck you! Ugh, I'm still feeling slightly queasy. Well on with the stori.

Chapter 11: (Man this is the longest stori I've ever written.)

Risa sat there staring straight at the white wall in front of her. She wished that her life was like that. No mess ups. Just blank. Normal. But fuck it. Hers was way more than normal at this point. She couldn't exactly clean up the mess ups anyway. She didn't have the right tools to do so.

She let out a groan of frustration. She can potty train the most stubborn boy in the world and yet she can't find an answer to this. It was simple enough to ask. Leave or don't leave. Leave and be happy or don't leave and be miserable. It was so simple...but yet it was so difficult. She couldn't just say she was going to leave and then do it. I mean, what was she suppose to say to the kids!? To Otani!?

Oh god, Otani. What was he suppose to say to him? Was she suppose to say something to him? And what if she was to say something. Would it be something mature or would she scream 'fuck you' to his face. Certainly the second choice was better, but it made her seem childish and that was the last thing she wanted to seem like in front of him. Shit she didn't know what to do!

The door opened and Nobu came in once again. She held two hot chocolates in her hands topped with whipped cream and some more chocolate. "Nobu," Risa muttered. Nobu let out a weak smile, "Haruka made it for us." Thank god Haruka. He knew that Risa would always calm down when she was given something like hot chocolate.

The silence was awkward after. She didn't know what to say, but Nobu seemed to expect that. So she urged on by saying, "So what are you going to do Risa?"

Risa stared at the mug she held. The chocolate was so deep brown, you could almost just melt in it. She wished she could right now. "I don't know..."

Nobu sighed. "Well Risa...just...just think about the kids okay?" She almost wanted to snap back at Nobu. How dare she?! How could she think she would think of the kids?! It was all about the kids! It's always been about the kids! Right?!

"I know," she whispered sipping the hot chocolate. She quickly pushed her anger aside and tried to think straight. Years of practice taught her that negative thoughts could hinder your thought process. There for it was necessary to block them away from her as she thought. Right now that one question needed serious rethinking.

She has to pick a side. A side that benefits her children. She really didn't care about herself at this point. She had already felt as much pain as anyone could possibly feel and she didn't think that anything could hurt more. Each side had things to consider she must say. Each beneficial for her children but which side to pick. Which side to go to...

She was so lost in thought she didn't notice that Nobu had left the room. She continued to stare at the mug she held, as if it had answers to her questions. If she choose to stay, then the children would not need to change their lifestyle. No abrupt moves. No confusion. No problems for them. They would be care for as always. They could roam freely around the huge house and play. And Otani...Otani could support them. Yes...almost normal. They didn't know...they don't know. They shouldn't know about this either. So...it was okay.

But...what would she do? Could she bear looking at her husband? Could she stop her self from crying just by the mere mention of his name? Could she even utter one word to him with out her feeling so betrayed in her whole life?! She swallowed. If it made her children happy enough then she could bare it. She could overcome it. She could lie to herself...for the sake of her children's happiness. Yes, she could. She was strong enough for that.

Then there was the other choice. To leave and settle with Kohori. For a while...just until she gets back to her feet. Then she could buy them a house and be a normal family. Just...a family that has no father. That made her bite her lip. How would the children feel about this? A new house, no papa, and they don't know why. It must be hell. She knew children could be cruel with their teasing. What if they go wind of the fact that they were now fatherless? Would the be teased?! She let out a groan. She knew what it felt like to be teased. It does hurt.

But...they barely see Otani anyway. Does it matter? However she knew her children loved their papa. Even if it dwindled, they still would love their papa. Her father didn't want her to marry Otani and refused to give his blessings. She hated him for that, but she found she couldn't truly hate her father. It was her father after all, and he meant well. Then again, there was Kohori. He was practically their father so did it all matter??

She moaned. It was confusing. It really was. Could the kids just break the bonds they have with their real father and go with their semi-adoptive father? Could they just break it and not be bothered?! She didn't want her children bothered by this. Especially if they didn't know the situation. But..she didn't want them to know about it either. I mean, why would she want them to know? And yet they had to. It was no choice.

She sighed. She had tried so hard not to let her children catch anything suspicious. It was for their protection. Yet, she would be the one to break it to them. How ironic. It was so pathetic as well. Everything had been traveling downhill and now she had it beyond rock bottom.

Then supposedly she told them about it and did leave. Would the children be happy in a new environment? She was pretty sure that Kohori could ease their thoughts and just have fun with them but that would be a distraction. She knew that Kazuki and Tenshi would not let it go. They would still think about it. But would they just let it go and accept it? Or would they dwell in it deeper till they are pushed into depression. Much like she was right now. And she certainly didn't want that.

Oh shit. She didn't know. But what about her? Would she be happy with Kohori. No matter how nice and protective Kohori could be, she couldn't find herself falliing in love with him. As much as she hated to admit it, she still was in love with Otani. She still would feel weak when he smiled. She still would feel like jelly when he laughed. She was still in love with him. Could she let that go? Could she move on?

She shook her head. She could just think about herself. It was the children she had to think about. She had to think about them. Not just herself. It should not be about herself. Yet, it didn't make the situation any easier than it is. Plus she needed to think fast. If Otani was to return, she would rather die then be confronted. She didn't want to see him now. She would well up in tears once again, and she would feel the unbearing pain once more. No she would never want to confront him, especially now.

--LINE--BREAK--

"It's been two hours already," Haruka announced. He looked at hallway that lead to Risa's room. She's been locked in there for awhile now. So far, there was only muffled outbursts here and there followed by silence. They just suspected that she was screaming at herself or Otani.

"Shut up!" Seiko snapped at him. She was currently pacing back and forth in apprehension. Normally his happy-go-lucky fiancée would lighten up the situation, but now she had just snapped at him. This was showing she was expecting the worst out of the situation. Man it was bad.

"Still..."Chiharu muttered, "I wonder how much stress Risa's been feeling right now? I mean to learn this and now she has to think of a solution...I could never do that." She glanced back at the hallway. Silently she wished that Risa would just come out of the room, smiling and it was all just a big dream. However it was reality and that would never happen.

Kohori came back from his hourly check up on the boys. They had fallen asleep and they found Kaori snuggled up against Kazuki. It seemed she had tried her best to calm both boys, leaving them to suspect that they had found out about the situation. Why else would there be the remains for tears on their cheeks? Plus the fact that Kazuki would be so willing to seek comfort from Kaori.

Nobu had attempted to come in and tell Risa about it but was stopped by the others. Perhaps it was a bad time now, and this piece of news would overwhelm here as well. If now she was already too overwhelmed. They agreed to tell her when she gets out of the room. However it might take a day if not more for her to get out.

However what happened next surprised them. They heard the door open with a creak and all snapped their attention to the person that was now heading their way. Risa Otani came in looking as worn as ever. However she had tried to tidy up her image a bit before presenting herself to them. She gave them a weak smile before saying, "I...I think I decided."

Kohori led her to a seat next to him and she leaned against him. She was thankful for the support he's been continually giving and now she felt rather confident enough to say what she felt is right to do.

"Risa," Nakao began, "before you begin to say anything...we want you know know something." She was slightly confused by the sudden interruption but nodded for him to continue.

"Well," Nobu said intent of finishing her husband's statement, "You know how you have to break it to the kids about the situation?" -Risa gave another nod- "You..you don't need to."

Risa's eyes widened and she spoke rather angered, "You didn't tell them did you?!" she didn't know why she felt rather angry. However she intended to tell them, and she felt it would be better for them to find this out from their own mother instead of their sympathetic aunts and uncles.

"Well not necessarily," Nobu continued, "they...sorta just found out." Risa's eyes narrowed. "So they eavesdropped." She should have known. They were definitely her children. She use to drag her own brother into her little schemes as a child and eavesdropped on their parents' conversations. It was a little trait she regretted her children getting from her.

However that certainly lightened the weight of her shoulders. At least they had a clue of what was going on. She let out a sigh. The tears she's been shedding all day seemed to be gone now. Right now her priority was purely for her children and she hoped the choice she made was the right one. She just has to be strong. She breathed in heavily before continuing, "I see...well then...I guess I won't have to worry about the next bit."

"Yes...but Risa get to the point," Seiko urged, "What have you decided?" It seemed everyone was keen on knowing what was decided. She looked at everybody before opening her mouth. Well here's goes just about everything.

"We're leaving."

--LINE--BREAK--

Note; heyyya peoples. Well some people are disappointed at me...and some are not. But please people mostly I keep twisting this all around. But you can kinda tell this storie is close to and ending. Lol. Well A dramatic ending. Ahahah. Just about...2 or 3 more chapters. I know most will be either disappointed or satisfied with the end. I'm sorry if you were disappointed and expected more about it. I'm sorry...

Oh yes I apologize for the grammar and spelling errors. I do some run ons which I try to fix but I'm no gifted editor. I need to watch myself though. Lmao.

Thank you verii much on the extensive reviews I've been getting! Thank you!! I'm just worried I won't fufill what you want on the ending. It's been a huge controversy for me. Aahaha. I even got my literacy teacher talking about it. Well not the characters but the situation in general. Well thank you for the great reviews and please stay tuned for the ending! ;)