Disclaimer: I do not own anything about Twilight. So sad..
Next thing I knew, I was being rushed out of the door. Alice and Emmett were taking me shopping. On the way out, Alice grabbed my purse. "What's this?" I started digging around inside of my purse and pulled out a pen.
"That's a pen. You use it write things." She quickly grabbed it out of my hand. "But, with your luck, you would end up stabbing yourself, so let me take that."
"Oh. Okay Awice. (a/n: yes awice)." Apparently I wanted to be a 4 year old. I kept digging around in my purse until I found another writing utensil. A SHARPIE.
"Bella, we are going to go to Macy's first and get you some shoes (a/n: do they sell shoes at macy's?)." I was in the back seat of Emmett's jeep and Emmett and Alice were in the front.
Once we started driving, I quickly took the lid off of the sharpie and started drawing on the seats. Then, I started barking like a dog. "Alice! Look, bark, at the pretty, bark, picture, bark, I made!"
She turned around and saw what I had done. "Uhh, Emmett?" the rest came out so fast, I didn't know what happened. "Bellawroteonyourseatswithasharpie."
"She did what?!" Emmett squealed. Again with the squealing. Everything suddenly got worse because then I started acting like a pig.
"Oink. I want to climb that tree. Oink, wait! There were squirrels in that tree! Oink. SQUIRRELS!" I started hopping up and down. "Alice, I wanna squirrel." Then, I started singing the Mutant Ninja Agent Turtles theme song. Too bad for me, I didn't even know that song. "Turltes, and squirrels are mutants. Teenagers. Lalala." Then I stopped breathing and singing. Alice quickly turned around to see if I was alright. "I want to be a mutant turtle."
Alice and Emmett started bursting out laughing. I didn't see what was so funny. Turtles are the bomb dot com. "Bella, why do you want to be a turtle? Why not a cheetah or a shark? But, seriously a turtle?"
"Fine, if you don't like me being a turtle, then I will just leave" I started opening the door while we were going 75 mph. But, suddenly Alice was there closing the door and putting me in safety harnesses.
"Edward would be so angry if he found out what just happened, so let us not replay it in our mind. Now, Bella. Because, you are crazy loco Bella, I feel the need to put a straight jacket on you, but because I left mine at home, these harnesses will work."
That seriously set me off. I started to cry. "Leonardo da Vinci, doesn't love me anymore. Ever since he painted that painting of me, he doesn't even remember my name! It's Belma, (a/n: yes Belma, that's what she thinks her name is) not Mona Lizzy!"
"What? Oh, Mona Lisa." Alice quietly said, but she started playing along with it. "Leonardo still loves you, Belma I promise."
"Okay good. Or else I would have…"
Then we were in the mall parking lot.
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P.S. Just wait until they get into Macy's…. MUAHAHA!