Woohoo this chap is complete. It's been a bit of a whirlwind the past couple of weeks - I have had tonsillitis and my birthday was last weekend…party, party lol now I'm drowned under with work…oh well :( but here it is…angst…low point in the rollercoaster…its going to be a bumpy ride!! Hope you enjoy it!!

Disclaimer…not mine!!

Reviewers: WOW!!!!!!

Darkie: thank you! I intend to keep them coming as often as I can :)

manowar101: Thank you…I need to show a softer side of house without losing him too much. Its difficult to get the balance right but fingers crossed I'm doing ok so far!

Vodka Martini: ooo what I would give to have one of those right now….sorry got focused on ur name lol! I'm ignoring my essays while writing it too lol! Thank you- I'm blushing at the lovely comments- you think my writing styles beautiful :)

ADASakura: lol here you go!

kismetindy: Yay I'm pleased you reviewed the more the merrier and I love knowing what people think…I'm pleased I got the romance but I hope they were in character...lol romance and house are two words never normally in the same sentence!!

DesertAire: Thank you! I have tried so hard to be true to there characters if this situation ever occurred! I an all out confessed huddy fan lol! Cam is a good character but I agree it would be too stereo typical and her and house just wouldn't work well! Cuddy is his equal!

simbagirl: Beautiful :) I love it when my fics called beautiful because that was my aim from the start - sad but emotional and beautiful.

Shannyn: ooo very good! This is one hell of a roller oaster ride and there are a few more dips to come before we come to the end of the ride (which will be happy!).

starstacey: Thank you! I try to keep them in character as much as possible…I hate it when they stray too far.

DCI Panda: -Blushes- thank you!

shoe : Lol…thank you…here's more!!

RogueButterfly: well you couldn't read it with your eyes shut lol! I was a fun chapter to write…hard not to make it too sappy but I'm pleased with the way it came out. I love writing the kissing bits…there will be many more to come!!

Relative Minor: OMG thank you so much…I have a huge grin!!! That is the highest praise I have ever received! Best fic??? I'm completely bowled over!! WOW:D

DancingDivaXX: lol don't worry so has mine!!

Witchhazel5: It is a very hard subject to write about especially with a character who is not normally the comforting kind. Its also a little deeper and darker than my other stuff but I am enjoying the challenge!

Axelchick: Lol…I love detail I have so much fun writing descriptions!!! Don't worry there will be a happy huddy ending. Thank you for having confidence in my writing…I will try my best not to let you down!!

Emmapeel: Thank You!!!

HouseAddiction: Lol thank you as always…I love your reviews!!

Jordan: thank you so much!!! I try to stay true to character as much as possible. I'm flattered that my writing has that effect on you and you loved the last chapter so much!

NaiveEve: Thank you…house minds is a confusing place to be lol…the little man is so lost and

confused! I'm a sucker for helpless in love house too…that's why I like writing it so much…we get to see a different side!

crazychicken-79: Thank you! Lol with me you need patience…they will get together...eventually :P

luv2luv-Hugh: god aren't you a bossy boots miss moo lol! Ok ok ok I'll write more…sniff you drive me like a slave! Thank you….high praise as always from my huddy buddy!!! I was going awww while writing it lol…House's hidden feelings just make me go all tingly lol! Oh and I haven't got whipped cream out of my head all day, couldn't do my work:P

the.sage: Lol!! Thank you

Eleanor J.: Thank you! I love writing this stuff too!!!

……………………….

The Dying Sun

He was lying there listening to the gentle rustle of her footsteps, her feet padding over his carpet as she wandered round his home. His eyes mesmerised by the sun rays rippling over her as she rushed around.

It was her first day back.

He had been watching for the past hour, her unknowing of his gaze as she wandered back and forth past the crack in his door on the way to her bedroom. He always thought of it as hers, filled with her stuff scattered in neat piles over the floor. The piles would disappear her vanishing with them when the time came to return to her own home, her life, living it without him.

He was dreading it.

Having her here lit his whole house up, her vibrancy and life filling every edge of the room. Her withered flame was still enough to warm him on the outside and in. Her happiness and heat radiating through him as he made her smile, the little giggles that echoed from her rumbled through his body, tingling his senses making him feel alive. A feeling that had been absent for so long, too long

In the process of repairing the damage and making her spark burn bright she had dragged him out of the darkness, both their flames now glowing brighter with every passing day.

Hers unsure, his unwanted.

He wanted to remain uncaring, harsh, with a bite to his words but every nip was now softened, not leaving another careless mark on her skin. It had healed, slowly the physical reminders vanishing before her eyes as the skin knitted together protecting her soul. His breath never too harsh afraid he would blow her down, hurting her would only wound him in the process.

He hated being vulnerable and she had his heart in her hands and wasn't even aware of it. Whether this was better or worse he didn't know. Her lack of knowledge meant she couldn't inflict pain knowingly, but had the potential to be careless. The problem was he couldn't change, not at work, the reputation he had tried so hard to build would crumble around him if he allowed any care to leak from his lips and every harsh reply she sent him, every extra tear he made her cry, stung a little bit more every time.

He watched as a blur of colour vanished before his eyes, barely registering her before the bathroom door slammed against the wall alerting him to her destination. He frowned, his ears picking up the tell tale sounds, Cuddy's breakfast leaving her body a little too soon.

He jumped; the momentary panic of her being ill. His right leg hit the floor moments before his left, crumpling beneath him. The pain was electrifying, his hands grasping at the bed in an attempt to remain up right, frozen, unable to move, fingers wrapping around the orange bottle as he bit his lip in an attempt to stem the cries of pain threatening to escape. He collapsed on the bed, two vicodin diving down his throat, bitter and dry.

Shaking his head, he rose with more care, fingers grasping his cane as he fell, using his momentum to propel him forward.

He staggered to the bathroom, finding her crumpled and pale on the floor, beads of sweat shimmering on her forehead.

'Hey, you ok?' he leant against the door, not wishing to get too close; she wouldn't want him crowding her.

'Yeah I'm ok now.' She pulled her self up, cold water splashing against her skin washing the ruined make up from her face, the mascara staining her eyes before the black was quickly chased away.

'You nervous?'

'No…maybe a little.' She smiled up at him, it was weak, her eyes still dim, slightly dizzy on step as she walked past him. 'I've been feeling a bit queasy for a few days now, first time I've been sick though.' She shrugged, vanishing out of sight. House frowned, neurons firing messages he wished he could decipher. The same thoughts would be rattling around his brain until he recognised one of them, his mind focused on this one thought, this one feeling, why or what in that split second had made him waver.

……………………….

They were separate, her in early, him in late, the charade of their absence not being linked.

Eyes followed them as they passed, questioning and curious, whispers rustling around.

……………………….

He had been sat there for an hour, slumped low, eyes skimming the edge of his magazine focused on a point in the distance. He was knowing but uncaring of the looks he received, doing nothing, as usual, his true intent unknown to the world.

He was watching her, her head held high, surrounded by a desk full of people. Hidden, his eyes locking on her every move, watching as her nightmare spilled from her lips, relived behind her wall of iron, expression blank and emotionless staring forward while the eyes and ears of the people soaked in the reason for her absence.

The look of shock, disgust and pity, melding together, House saw it all. Silence, stunned speechless, unsure, eyes whirling round the room in an attempt to gage others' reactions and gather together in support and comfort. Mouths began to move, empty words of care flowing from them, the words remained unreadable his whole attention focused on her.

She ignored them all, her eyes snapping to his, sensing his gaze. He nodded to himself, it was over. She'd stayed strong and he'd been there every step of the way, her shadow of support hidden in the dark.

He stood, slamming the magazine on the table, vanishing before she could catch him, not wishing to speak, his feelings strong and raw as he watched her, the alien emotion of admiration hitting him hard.

His eyes reluctantly tore themselves from her, stinging as he walked away. His fingers wishing to wash away the mask, reveal the emotion beneath, kiss the mouth to drown out the empty apologises, an antidote to the harsh poison that had spilled from them, the memory still lingering, haunting her when she stopped to think.

Her eyes burned into his back, calm yet confused, watching as he disappeared from view, eyes returning to the empty space he'd occupied moments before.

She wished to follow, she had to stay.

The shallow, meaningless comments buzzed around her as his words repeatedly rattled round her mind once more, his admission of beauty, so unlike him it hurt, the need for her to see him say it, feel his hands on her again, caressing her skin, exploring, fingers travelling beyond her wrists, his healing hands stroking over her. She longed for it to happen and yet knew it never would.

She shivered, her body reacting to her image, her dream. She excused herself from the room, hovering in the hall. She'd seen it, his eyes bright and wary. She'd known he was watching, knew he would be there; he always was even before the incident, him hiding behind the scenes, taking in her every move. He was putting her pieces together, one by one in his mind he made her whole, his puzzle forming the image of who she was in his eyes. If only she knew him so well.

She turned to her office, not knowing he was still staring, her shiver, her hesitation, watching her the whole way until her doors shut hiding her behind them, him finally walking away.

-------------------

He'd heard it, waiting outside for her to emerge. He'd been lingering in the clinic, talking to Wilson. She'd darted passed, unquestioning of his lack of work eyes panicked, wobbling on her heels in a controlled rush not wishing to attract attention to herself. Not telling him off immediately alerted him to a problem. Excusing himself, he followed at a distance, hearing her lunch leave her behind the locked door.

He insured the toilet was deserted before rapping his cane on the door; he heard her gasp before his rough tones spoke out into the silence.

'Cuddy I warned you about the cafeteria food.'

He heard her sigh, the click of the lock as the door swung open. She nearly crashed into him as he stumbled.

'Not funny House.' She frowned, the back of her hand smearing her make up before walking over to the sink repairing the damaged before her. 'What do you want?'

Her tone was hard and harsh, she wasn't happy to see him.

'Well you nearly floored me earlier, a few inches closer and by courtesy of my cane you would have found yourself up close and personal with the floor, one hell of an audience to watch you fall at my feet.' He winked before waggling his eyebrows, feeling a little triumph as the corners of her mouth flicked up.

She shook her head rolling her eyes as she turned to leave.

'Cuddy what's up?'

She paused, her hand resting on the doorknob looking over her shoulder, his expression blank, his rough voice absent of the sarcasm, seemingly empty to the untrained ear, but the care was apparent edging his voice and features that failed to remain clear.

'Must have been something I ate.'

'There is nothing wrong with my cooking.' He frowned.

Her hands fell to her hips, 'I'll think you find that's my cooking, you didn't even know how to turn your over on.'

'Women have there uses.' He smirked at the sneer that flickered across her face.

She sighed turning to leave once more.

'It wasn't something you ate.'

'HOUSE! Will you get to the point, you obviously have something to say and you never beat around the bush so something's up, what is it?' she'd whirled round to face him.

'Wow someone's impatient.'

'House??' her voice was quiet, deadly.

'I think you might be ill and I want to test you for it.'

'I'll with what?'

'That's what the tests are for.' He nodded, 'remember that's how we diagnose people, we use these little needles and get them to pee in a cup and stuff.'

She was defensive; her arms crossed over her chest, breast pushed high, his eyes only flicking to them for a second wanting to remain on track, he had a theory, he hoped he was wrong but he would plough on regardless, that was his way and it worked, curiosity and the need to know the truth had been scratching away all day.

'Surely you can find someone who's sick.'

'I have. You.' He jabbed at her with his cane.

'I'm not going to be one of your puzzles House, hell I've spent enough time with you as it is, I don't need to be subjected to anymore.'

Stab, he felt it sting, the little low jab, her unknowing of the strength in which she wielded.

He watched her walk away, flinging the door open. He followed moments later not giving up the fight.

'Cuddy! CUDDY!'

'Get to work house,' she didn't even look over her shoulder, trying to get to her office as fast as she could, the patients and workers parting like the red sea before her.

He slammed his cane between her office doors before she shut them, forcing his way in, the secretary watching from a distance, quivering in the corner.

'Oh go away House.'

The door closed behind him, shutting out the world as he lunged for her, 'Cuddy, stop!' his fingers wrapped round her wrist as he pulled her back, her body crashing into his as she stumbled backwards.

Her hand hit his chest to steady herself, 'WHAT.' She looked up into his eyes, faltering as she realised how close they were, feeling his fingers on her skin. His mouth didn't move, his eyes looking down staring into hers. She felt his thumb caress the back of her hand, tickling the hairs, spine tingling as an electric shock of sensation plummet through her. Her breathing slowed, chest brushing against his, the silence wrapping itself around them. He brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, watching her tongue trail over her lips, soft and glistening, heads tilted towards each other, lost in the moment.

The door rattled, springing apart, the stab of anger and fear flooding through him, confusion and joy. She'd wanted him, the lust sparkling in her eyes for that brief moment, the shudder from his caress. His own desire pumping through his body, the fuel of his anger that he'd lost himself so easily.

He collapsed on the sofa, her secretary entering the room as she settled behind her desk sweeping her hair off her face, trying to calm the flush of arousal that tinged her cheek bones, ignoring his presence focusing on the man before her.

House was getting angrier by the minute, stirring himself up, reinforcing his walls; angry at himself for falling for her, angry at her for breaking in so easily, angry at himself for letting her, and angry at the man before him for running his opportunity to finally kiss away both their pain. His release whipped away from his fingertips. His one chance had come and gone, his dark cloud remained the gold lining, which had shimmered for a second, had died. The darkness flooded in as he watched her secretary approach.

The air was dense; it was obvious he could sense he'd walked in on something.

'Um….Doctor Cuddy I heard what happened and I just wanted to say I'm sorry.'

'Why are you sorry? was it you?' House was glaring from his corner, fed up of the empty apologies.

'HOUSE!!' Cuddy was livid, the red flush on her cheeks now reflecting the anger coursing through her. She turned to the secretary, 'Ignore him, he's throwing his toys out his pram. Thank you, I'm a lot better and happy to get back to work, anything else?'

The secretary nodded not wishing to attract anymore attention to himself he dropped the files on her desk and fled from the room.

The room remained silent, her face passive until the door closed.' She turned to house, fury written all over. 'How dare you, that was un-called for.'

'I'm fed up of all there empty apologies.' He was staring at his cane, tossing it between his fingers.

'No you're fed up because he interrupted…' She paused not knowing what to say, she sighed, hands running over her face, voice rumbling through her fingertips, 'just get out.'

'Not until you let me run some tests, I'm not leaving till you do.' Glare on glare both as stubborn as the other but he could sense her uncertainty, desperate to escape from his presence.

'Fine.' She rushed from the room, House following at a slower pace.

……………………….

The machines beeped and buzzed around him, he knew what had been nagging at him now he just hoped he was wrong. He heard the hum as it printed the results. His Fingers impatiently snatched it up, face screwing up as the answer was written before his eyes. The paper scrunched beneath his fingertips, flinging the truth over his shoulder, his attempts to ignore it in vain, the words mirrored over his eyes, unable to blink them away.

……………………..

He was wrong, he had to be. He'd run the tests so many times he'd lost count, every answer the same.

He hobbled towards her office; head hung low, the bringer of bad news. The hospital was empty, the glow of the setting sun bleeding through the corridors as all remnant of hope and happiness leaked from him.

He flung her office doors open, her tiny frame a silhouette, crouched over the papers before her.

'Go away.' She knew it was him, hard not too, the tell tale sound of his cane clicking against the wooded floor.

He stilled, waiting her to look up, listening to the song of the birds the sound seeming so sad as they watched the day die.

'What?' She looked up, her face hidden in darkness only her ocean blues glaring out at him. 'I'm fine, just leave me alone.'

Her anger flooded into him and he slammed the results down on her desk the loud crack echoing out in the room, her body started, jumping back. He delivered it the only way he knew how, with no comfort or pretence, he wished he could retrieve the file and tell her himself, but the words would sound harsher when spoken and her fingers had wrapped round the papers too fast.

She flicked it open scanning over it without concern before her eyes hit the final line. Her whole body tensed, eyes snapping to his and back, disbelief and fear written over her face.

'Are you having a joke?' grasping at the last lingering flame of hope.

'For once I wish I was.'

The file fell from her fingertips, the papers spilling out onto the carpet, the final page slowly floating to the ground, POSITIVE.

Her hand grasped onto the desk as she tried to steady herself, stumbling round to the front, breathing hard and harsh.

She collapsed, her whole body quivering as she slid to the ground, legs curling up to her chest, head buried in her knees as her shoulders began to shake with silent sobbing.

House hesitated, not knowing what to do, his eyes whirling around to ensure no one was present before limping over. His face crumpled in pain as he settled down beside her, his arm jerkily wrapping round her shoulder rubbing her arm in manly comfort. He was startled when her arms curled round him, her head burying in his shoulder, frame and heat so close as she curled into him for comfort. He brought his other arm up, holding her close not wishing to release her, unable to rescue her from her continuing nightmare.

One step forward two steps back.

He heard her laugh, unsure he pulled back staring down into her face. It was twisted into a sad smile. 'Be careful what you wish for.'

Her desire for a child, house felt his heart hard and heavy, another addition to the pile of confusion dragging her down.

'What am I going to do?' she sniffed, her beauty so close, even more apparent with her vulnerability, still wrapped in his arms, her head resting against his chest, making no effort to move.

'I don't know,' his voice was a whisper blowing into her hair, 'but whatever you decide I'll be there every step of the way.'

He felt her shift, head twisting; tears still streaming, eyes lost, looking like a child, his fingers finding the loose strands once more, always breaking free, brushing them from her face, her blue eyes never leaving his. Before her knew what was happening her lips were over his, the kiss soft and gentle, tentative as her lips caressed his own. He kissed her back, all thought flooding from his mind pulling her body closer, fingers playing over her spine. The kiss deepened with every second, her frame resting over him, nails dragging through his hair as she moaned into his mouth, her desire echoing out into the silence. She snapped back, eyes wide with panic, 'oh god I'm so sorry.' The tears were still streaming, as she stumbled to her feet rushing from the room.

'Cuddy!! CUDDY!!' She kept running, his breathing the only sound in the silence.

What was he going to do? Support her from afar? The awkwardness and confusion, the pain so apparent between the two and now the complication of the baby. She had so many memories and so many nightmares, him her only comfort, one in which she would feel she no longer had. He'd ruined everything. His head fell back against the desk, defeated, eyes tight shut as he sighed, 'Shit!'

He watched her flee, unable to follow, feeling her heat drain from him, the wait of her body now cold and empty; his eyes watching with a heavy heart, the last rays of sun burning over her in the distance until the darkness swallowed her from sight.

…………………..

TBC