Final Fantasy VII: Bloopers
Intro: Okay, ChefSelecta mentioned the Cloud crossdressing scene and making bloopers of that, and I'm sorry to say, I can't think of a thing for that. But I got a request for more Zack and Aerith bloopers, so that's what I'll do! This is all for Zack and Aerith, with some of Cloud being the dumb blonde we all know he is. The next Chapter will be weapon malfunctions, so make sure you read!
WARNING: RENO IS IN A FEW OF THESE BLOOPERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Chapter Three
Zack and Aerith Bloopers…With a Little Cloud, Too
-BLOOPERS-
Scene of Aerith's Death
Aerith slumped forward, off of Sephiroth's sword. As she fell forward, Cloud went to catch her, but then stepped a little to the side, causing her to painfully smack her face on the crystal floor.
"Ow! CLOUD!!" she yelled at him as Sephiroth's hand acquainted itself with his face.
Tetsuya: Ugh. Cut…
-VILLA-
Aerith glared at Cloud while he gave her the "innocent eyes."
"Uh, it was an accident?"
Aerith raised a hand and…
-BLOOPERS-
Scene With Aerith Talking in Cloud's Phone in AC
"Do do do doo du do di diti do!" (Victory Fanfare) Aerith sung. "Do do do do di ditty di do do doo do do di do!"
Tetsuya: (humming along)
Reno: Cut!
Take 2
As the phone floated down in the water, Aerith's voice could be heard.
"Know your stars… Know your stars—I mean, I never blamed you, not once…"
Tetsuya: AHHH! Cut!
Scene With Aerith and Cloud in the Flower Place in AC
"You came," Aerith spoke, and the camera panned out to show the two back to back. "Even though you're about to break. Hm?" She placed her hand comfortingly on Cloud's covered arm. "That's a good sign." She paused. "So, why did you come?"
Tetsuya: It's going good…
"I think…I want to be forgiven. M-more than anything."
Camera shows front of Aerith…err…her chest. "By who?"
Before Cloud could turn, off-screen, Reno is heard.
"CLEAVAGE!!"
Tetsuya: Dangit! Cut!
Scene With Zack On Train in CC
Tetsuya: Action!
As Zack ran, he noticed a low hanging bridge approaching. "You sure we don't need a green screen for this?" he asked.
Tetsuya: Yes, now keep running!
Zack did as he was told, but then actually thought better of it and turned back. The Shinra grunts ready for him lowered their weapons as Tetsuya turned his face skyward. They then hear a horrible crack and a Shinra guard comes flying at them just as Zack jumps off, smug.
"Aha!" he said. "I told you so told you so told you so!"
Tetsuya: (buries his face) …Cut…
WARNING: ONE OF THE TAKES OF THE FOLLOWING BLOOPER WAS AN IDEA FROM SOUTH PARK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Zack's Death Scene
(Take 1 was an idea from RibbonzandChainzFF7. Take 3 was an idea from MakruTree, as was 4)
Tetsuya: (with a box of tissue beside him) Action!
Cloud slowly walked up to his friend, who looked peaceful, laying in a puddle of his own blood. It got to the part where Zack is about to let go and relinquishes the Buster Sword to Cloud. But, Zack smiled one of his trademark grins and whipped the Buster Sword out at Cloud with the strength of a healthy man.
Cloud was hit on the head with the blunt side of the weapon.
"AHAHAHAHA!" Zack burst out laughing.
Tetsuya: Zack…!
"Sorry… I couldn't help it…" Zack smiled.
Take 2
Tetsuya: Let's try this again… Action!
Zack lifts the sword to give to Cloud and shoves it at him a little too hard and a little too…low.
Cloud's breath catches in his throat. "(O.O) C-Could you give me a minute…?"
Tetsuya: (sighs) Yeah sure…
Take 3
Tetsuya: Action!
Okay, things go smoothly until it comes to Cloud screaming.
His innocent eyes go wide. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screams continuously for the amount of time. Then, at the last second: "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(gag, hack, cough, choke.)" Cloud falls back, coughing hard as Zack smiles, trying to hold in his laughter.
Tetsuya: How can you screw up such a tear jerking scene so easily? Cut! Get the kid some water!
Take 4
The South Park kids were all watching Zack's Death on YouTube. One of them started to cry, knowing that the strong warrior was about to die.
"Ah, we all know that people don't die, until they crap themselves!" Cartman assured the kid.
On the set…
Just as Cloud starts screaming, everyone hears something that doesn't sound like rain, people crying, or young Cloud screaming.
Proooooooooooooooooooot!
Cloud sniffed the air, then gagged. Zack sits up, moaning. "I knew I shouldn't've eaten that bean burrito for lunch," he whispers.
"OPEN THE WINDOWS! Get some air in here!" Tseng screams as Cloud passes out.
Tetsuya: We'll try again tomorrow.
-VILLA-
Cloud was rolling on the floor laughing, Sephiroth was doubled over, Aerith was giggling, Vincent was choking on the popcorn he had made, and Tifa was trying to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on the gunman, but her laughter causes her to have no progress.
Zack glared at them all.
"Oh, c'mon! Oh-oh crap… I'm feelin' it… Oh man—" Zack closed his eyes as he…
-BLOOPERS-
Scene With Zack and Aerith's First Meeting
"Ugh… Heaven?" Zack asks as he looks up at Aerith.
"No, close. Church in the slums," she says.
"Angel?" he asks.
"No. I'm Aeris."
"Goddess of Discord?"
"What? NO!"
Take 2
"Ugh… Heaven?"
"No, close. Church in the slums."
"Angeal? I-I mean Angel?"
Take 3
"Ugh… Heaven?"
"No, close. Church in the slums."
"Angel?"
"No. I'm Aerith."
"…Do you have a lisp?"
Tetsuya: (sniff, sniff) Cut.
-SPECIAL BLOOPERS-
Kingdom Hearts Bloopers
(Well, it includes some FF characters, and I have to do a blooper for Squall, you know?)
WARNING: SOME OF THESE BLOOPERS WERE TAKEN FROM KH CHRONICLES! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
Scene With Aerith Meeting Donald and Goofy
"Excuse me," a feminine voice asks, causing Donald to shriek and jump onto Goofy as they both turn. "Did the King send you?" The camera shows Aerith in her pink dress, smiling.
Suddenly, a random Aerith fanboy runs on screen glomping Aerith to the ground.
"YOU'RE ALIVE!!"
Tetsuya: Here, too? God!! Cut!
Scene With Cloud and Leon in Hollow Bastion, Ravine Trail
"Cloud… Could you stop touching me?" Leon asks, looking back at Cloud.
Cloud is confused. "I'm not touching you, Leon. You're touching me."
"No I'm not. Wait, if it's not you touching me, and it's not me touching you it must be a…a…a…a…"
Together, they scream, "SPIDER!!" and launch away from each other, killing Heartless in search of the probing monstrosity.
Tetsuya: Dangit! Cut! Cut, cut cut cut!!
Scene With Sora and Sephiroth
Sephiroth is staring down at Hollow Bastion's castle place. "What is Cloud doing?"
Sora, having already read ahead in the script, summons his Keyblade. "Beats me."
"Hm. By the way, you three…" He unsheathes Masamune and spins, but Sora deflects it and shoves him off the cliff.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!"
-VILLA-
Tifa pouted at Sephiroth. "Why'd you skip it?" she asks.
"Gee, I wonder why?" he asks back sarcastically.
-BLOOPERS-
Scene With Leon and Sora in KH1
Leon walks up to Sora from behind. "Hey, is that a Keyblade?" he asks.
Sora cocks his head, then nods.
"Can I…touch it?" Leon asks.
"No."
"Can I…smell it?"
"No, you crazy psycho!"
"Very well then, I shall take it by force!"
During the battle, Sora drops to his knees and begins to color his HP bar back in. He then gets set aflame.
"OhmigodImonfire!" Sora shrieks. "I mean…something…not…stolen…"
Tetsuya: You're as bad as Cloud…
Scene With Cloud and Sephiroth Battle in KH2
"Sorry to keep you…Sephiroth!"
"Cloud… You'll never let go of the darkness."
"Shut up." Cloud gets into his battle pose. Sephiroth notices bloodstains on the bandages, then points his sword at Cloud, pouting.
"You killed my pet spider," he says, sounding like he's about to cry.
Tetsuya: God almighty! Cut!
Sephiroth vs. Sora in KH2
As Sephiroth launched himself into the air, the air got hot…very hot. Meteors began to fall from the sky and the Keyblade clanged to the ground as Sora attempted to protect his head and flee at the same time.
"OH MY GOD!" he screams, trying to run. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!"
"Sora! SORA!" Sephiroth yells, trying to reason with the spikey haired protagonist. "SORA! Calm down! It's fake!"
The Keyblade Wielder stopped against the barricade and said, "Psh, I knew that! I mean, who can't know it's fake!" He immediately runs to the cameraman and says, "Edit out the 'Screaming for my life' part, okay?"
Tetsuya: Meh, cut…
End Chapter.
Okay, I said I'd do "Weapon Malfunctions" next time, but then someone requested more Yuffie, so that's what the next one will be...an episode dedicated only to Yuffie! Sweetness!