Final Fantasy VII: Bloopers
Intro: (sigh) Oh man…this is going to be my last update for awhile. You see…there's this nasty epidemic going around, and I seem to have caught it. It's called "Grounded." Man, and I won't be cured until further notice. But thanks to MakruTree, I'll be able to update today, and then I'll keep a low profile and be exceptionally good so I heal fast.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, ARMAGEDDON! This chapter's dedicated to my bestest friend, Armageddon Child (MakruTree's a BFF, too, but it's not her birthday yet, and drakan101's birthday isn't until REALLY later on in the year). As a little treat, the characters are all going to throw her a party and go shopping and stuff. So YAY!
But…since this is a humor/parody fic, there will be OOCness, stupid situations with stoopider results, and we all know this B-Day bash is probably going to be ruined…in more ways than one.
But otherwise…ONWARD INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER!
Disclaimer: HAHAHA no.
Currently Listening To: Crisis Core Soundtrack Disc One. J
Chapter NineArmageddon Child's Birthday Bash!!
The door fell down upon the group of people watching the bloopers. Everyone turned with wide eyes as the character in the doorway blew up the TV with a bazooka and held the cast of FF7 and some of 8 at flamethrower point.
"We're celebrating my friend's birthday today," BlueFox said, narrowing her blue-green eyes at everyone. "So get off your lazy arses and go buy her some presents."
So, in fear of their lives from a potentially homicidal fanfiction writer, the cast went to the mall.
--
The group of friends (not necessarily, but let's go with it) were wandering around the mall. They were doing their shopping for BlueFox's friend. Well, at least the true at heart girls were (and Seph). The rest of the group was sulking. Needless to say, shopping is not a popular hobby among this group…
"HOLY SHIT!" Seph squealed, "THERE'S A SALE ON HELLO KITTY STUFF! EVERYTHING IS 50-75 PERCENT OFF!"
"Shut the fuck up, Seph! You're making people stare at us! If we get thrown out of another mall because of one of you…" Cid trailed off making the threat quite clear.
"Shopping…" Zell shuddered. "Back away slowly…"
"Back away quickly! QUICKLY!" Squall yelled.
"RUN AWAY SCREAMING! WAH!" cried Cloud as he proceeded to do so. Unfortunately for him, he tripped over an elderly lady. Even more unfortunate, it happened to be the same old lady that beat Aerith up for PMS-ing (next chapter you'll understand). And to add to his misfortune he fell into a fountain.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT WATER! HOW CAN BEEP HYDROGEN AND MY SWEET OXYGEN COMBINE TO MAKE SUCH A SHITTY SUBSTANCE! NOOOOO! I'M MELTING!"
"Well, if you played Kingdom Hearts more often, you'd be more coordinated and that probably wouldn't have happened," Leon said smugly.
"Shut up, Squall," Yuffie said.
"IT'S LEON, DAMMIT!" he screamed. Cloud began climbing out of fountain, but before he made it all the way out, he was accosted by an angry senior citizen. She approached him menacingly, and then…
(We interrupt this story to tell you that you didn't pay your electricity bill last month…
…
…
… Well? Why are you still here?...
…
… Oh, you just paid it? Good! Now we can continue the story!)
Where were we? Oh yes…
…she began to beat him upside the head with her extremely heavy handbag.
"Look, Cloud's getting hurt again," Seifer said.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Squall asked.
"Of course," Seifer replied. The two of them disappeared for several seconds, and then reappeared with bags of popcorn. Out of nowhere, Reno and Rude began commentating on the 'match'.
"That was a nasty uppercut there, eh, Rude?" Reno said.
"Oh, yeah! And look at her form! Simply amazing!"
"Looks like this match is just about over."
"Uh-huh! Cloud will be feeling this in the morning!"
"That's not nice!" Aerith said. The old lady finished her "workout" and left with a final whack.
"Ah, man. Well, at least it was a good show. Don't you agree, Zell?" Squall said.
"Yeah! That was totally sweet when- Hey, what am I saying? I'm s'posed to be a good guy! I'm gonna go help Cloud!" Zell said.
"Yo!" said Zack. (Translation: We good guys don't get much excitement I guess. Wasn't it great though, Seifer?)
"Yup. It even lasted long enough for me to finish my popcorn!" Seifer replied. "Wasn't that great, Genesis?" Seifer looked around. "Hey, guys! Where's Genesis?" For, in the midst of the battle, Genesis had slipped away…
With Genesis…"Finally! I'm away for those shopping freaks! Now I can look at chocolate!" Genesis said. Just then, he saw the most beautiful hunk of semi-sweetness in a shop window. The price tag said: 52.37. Genesis checked his wallet. All that came out were some fingernail clippers and a peppermint covered in fuzz.
"I need money!" he said. Then he raced off to a "money making" neighborhood of the mall. There, he saw the old woman who had beat Aerith up for PMS-ing, and more recently, Cloud.
He started to run.
"Slow down honey, or I'll be forced to lay knuckles upside your head, too," she leered venomously, then smiled innocently. "I need someone to be the new children's General, the other one quit."
All of a sudden, a man dressed like Kefka came walking out into the hall. "I quit!" said the man throwing a blond wig on the ground.
"Definitely not!" Genesis replied.
"Don't speak to your elders that way, young man! Besides, there's money involved."
"Can I have 52.37?"
"Plus tax?" she asked sweetly.
"Hell yes, oldster!"
"Don't push it," said the old lady, throwing the Kefka outfit at him.
5 minutes later Genesis was dressed in the clown's and sat in a throne like in FF6, surrounded by machinery painted on cardboard, hordes of "subordinates" and swarms of small children. One particular subordinate called "Blake" insisted upon skipping around with a horribly-fake-but-still-long-anyway-Masamune. Normally this would simply disturb people, but on this occasion it turned out to be quite painful. You see, Blake would often trip over his own feet and end up whacking people upside the head with the fake plastic blade. After a few minutes, Genesis' patience began to wear a bit thin. On the fourth "accidental" assault, 'Kefka' grabbed Blake by his Masamune and threw him into the wall, knocking him unconscious. The other subordinates in the room cheered, most of them sporting bruises and black eyes.
"Bring on the kiddies! I want to get my 52.37 plus tax so I get that dreeeeamy chocolate."
The subordinates (all except Blake) opened the floodgates and allowed masses, no, battalions, NO, WAIT, HUGE BEEP ARMIES of sweet, innocent little angels (note sarcasm) stampeded toward the innocent- Hmmmm… No, innocent's not the word. Let's just go with Genesis. The 'subordinates' jostled them into a single file line of semi-organized chaos.
The first child made his way up to "Kefka" and climbed into his lap.
Genesis sighed. "What's your name, kid?"
"It's Jackson." The boy said in a mature, James Bond (who we don't own!)-ish voice. "Jack Jackson."
"What do you want the General to get you?" Genesis asked, not bothering to hide his un- enthusiastic uhhh…. ness? Unenthusiasticness? Is that even a word? Oh, well! Now it is!
"I want a sword." Jack said keeping up the deep voice. "And not just any sword. I want a BIG, SHINY sword."
"How old are you, kid?"
The small boy looked up at Gen- um…. Kefka. His eyes seemed to get a whole lot larger and became much more sparkly.
"Fowr."
Genesis sweat-dropped. "You're four and you want a SWORD." Little Jack nodded vigorously. "This is going to be a LONG day."
Back with the others:
"Ugh. I hate shopping," Zell grumbled.
"Come on, chicken wuss! It's not that bad." Seifer replied. He was carrying several shopping bags.
"Yes, it is," Zell shuddered. "Shopping. Back away slowly."
"Back away quickly! QUICKLY!" Sephiroth screamed, following his own advice. Fortunately for him, he did it much more carefully than Cloud had, and he avoided all crotchety senior citizens and water fountains.
Cloud's eyes popped out of his head. "THE SKY IS FALLING!" He picked up a nearby acorn and threw it up in the air. It then obeyed those annoying laws of physics and came crashing down, right onto his head.
"OH NO! THE SKY IS FALLING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Cloud screamed. He, Zack and Sephiroth began doing just that.
"Wait a minute...We're inside a mall. Why are there acorns in here?" Yuffie asked, looking rather bewildered.
"Oh, yeah! There's a 'Nuts about Squirrels' Convention here today." Aerith said, then quickly added "Not that I'd know!" As they all stared at her incredulously.
"'Nuts about Squirrels?' Weird..." Reno muttered.
"I hate squirrels. They're evil," Rude stated sourly.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" A mob of angry people dressed in shirts that said 'I love squirrels' stampeded over to poor Rude. Then they proceeded to stampede over him.
"Cool! Angry squirrel dudes! Want some popcorn?" Seifer asked Squall.
"Sure!" Squall replied, as the (sort of) friends made themselves comfortable.
Back With Gene-er, KefkaThe girl's blond hair was in obnoxiously cute little pigtails and she wore gaudy pink overalls. Before she had agreed to sit on "Kefka's" lap, she made her body guards inspect her, ran an, erm… interesting bacteria test on the outfit and made him answer horrifying questions about… (gulp) Polly Pockets. (we don't own them! No, seriously we don't) (shudders) Suspiciously, he got them all right. Hmmmmmm…
So, she finally climbed up on his lap and stared up at him with a horrifyingly cute look. "So, uh, what's you're name, kid?" Genesis asked nervously. Those bacteria tests had really traumatized him.
"Angel," the little girl replied sweetly.
"Um, okay, Angel, what do you want the General to get you?"
"Kef-ka, I wan-na po-ny!" she said in a sing-song voice.
"Have you been good?" Genesis grimaced. He really wanted that chocolate.
"Of course I've been a good girl!" Angel said, loud enough for her 'bodyguards' to hear. Then she whispered "I'm not sorry for taking those cookies, and if you even think of giving me nothing I'll rip your eyes out!" she snarled, completely dropping the adorable little girl act.
"Ye-yes ma'am!" Genesis sputtered.
Back with the others…Squall and Seifer were almost done with their popcorn "Aw, man, I'm almost done with my popcorn!" said Seifer sadly.
"Who cares about the popcorn? This is a great show! Front row seats! Rude getting beat up by an angry squirrelly mob, could life get any better then this?" Squall asked.
"Yes, I could have more popcorn." Seifer grumbled.
"Yay! A brawl!" Sephiroth screamed as he, Cloud and Zack jumped into the fray.
"Good thing Seifer bought these totally nifty foam fingers!" said Aerith. "See, Zell, shopping is really useful!"
Zell muttered under his breath about prissy girly-girls. Aerith then began to distribute foam fingers to the gang that watched the ensuing combat.
"Woo hoo! Go Seph!" cheered Leon.
Reno rolled his eyes. "Those guys are dumbasses, yo."
"Yeah, I know!" Yuffie said. "Who's stupid enough to take on enraged, die-hard squirrel nuts?"
Comedian's drum in background: Ba –da, CH!
"Bad pun!" Zell groaned.
"Thanks for the encouragement pal," the annoyed Yuffie said. "But seriously, who would be dumb enough to go into that angry squirrel mob?"
"Oh look, a brawl!" yelled Tseng. He was in the motion of jumping, when the mob of squirrel junkies quieted. Then ran over to Tseng, took his foam finger, then ran back over and proceeded to beat up Rude, Seph, Zack, and Cloud all over again.
Tseng was still in midair, when he fell flat on his face on the hard floor. He was there for some moments, when he looked up to see the fight still going on.
"What happened?" said a confused Tseng while rubbing his head. "Oh look, a brawl!" and he jumped into the fray as well.
"This is fucking embarrassing!" Cid said shaking his head.
Back with Genesis…
"Last kid," Genesis said wiping his brow.
"Some people say I'm paranoid, but I don't think so," said the small child that clambered on Genesis' lap.
Sigh. "What's your name son?" Genesis said.
"Mike Long," Mike said.
"How old are you?"
"Five years, twelve hours, eighteen minutes, twenty four seconds. Twenty five seconds," he said correcting himself. "Exactly. People hate it when I do that." The boy said to Gen…Kefka.
"I know how they feel," Genesis replied.
After Genesis was finished with the boy, Mike climbed off Genesis, using the many robes Genesis wore for support.
Then Mike had an idea that popped out of nowhere, he ripped off the blond wig from Genesis's head. Genesis clutched his hairline.
Sirens began going off and red lights flashed. Steel bars blocked all the entryways. Subordinates scattered and children began screaming. "FAKE KEFKA ALERT! FAKE KEFKA ALERT! CODE 34085/B! CODE 34085/B!" was blaring over the loudspeakers. Total pandemonium reigned in 'Vector' and Genesis sat rubbing his stinging hairline.
"Yep, that was a third degree wig burn," Genesis said grimacing.
Then a parent said from behind "You're an embarrassment to nature! How dare you traumatize our precious angels! Let's do what we have to do guys!"
"Uhhhh…" said a parent. "We'll be right back."
The angry mob of parents disappeared for a few minutes.
"Hey, if all the entryways are blocked, how'd the parents get out?" Genesis asked the deranged writers.
(Fang: Shhhhhh! You're not supposed to know we exist!
MakruTree: Well, at least there's still Blake the subordinate to keep you company!)
Genesis groaned.
(Edward: Obviously the parents harnessed the power of the aliens from the planet Gimbliku to go through the walls.
BlueFox: Am I the only half-sane one here?
Everyone else: Duh!)
Back to the story…While waiting for the enraged parents to return, Blake the subordinate became conscious again.
"Ooooooh…" said Blake. "A microscope!"
Blake spent the next few minutes fascinated by looking at an ameba on the microscope Angel had left from the bacteria test. A little while later, the parents returned, followed by a huge mob, complete with pitchforks and torches.
"Cool mob! Where'd you get it?" Genesis asked excitedly, thinking longingly of siccing a mob on Zack.
"E-bay! They had a great deal on lactose-intolerant mobs!" one parent replied. Genesis looked confused.
"Lactose-intolerant? Why lactose-intolerant?"
"So they can't go out and eat nachos when they should be pillaging. The last mob we got left this." The parent gave Genesis a note that said:
"gOn owT 4 NachoooS
-Ur anGiry Mob"
The angry mob of parents and their angry mob from E-Bay (Which we definitely DO NOT own) stalked menacingly toward Genesis.
"Oh look, an ameba!" Genesis yelled pointing to the microscope.
"aYe wan a C!" said a member of the mob.
He shoved his way through the crowd. On the head of the microscope, was a sign
That read "DO NOT TOUCH! Thank you for your cooperation."
"aYe wan a tutch!" The unfortunate mob member yelled. He stretched out his hand and touched it…
BOOM
"PS…Violators may experience excruciating pain." Another mob member read, leaning over the pile of ash formerly known as 'the unfortunate mob member' to look at the rest of the note.
"Nouw U tel mee."
Of course, by that time Genesis had made his grand escape. Looking around, one member of the mob noticed this.
"HAY! Tha fayke Kefkaka iz gon!" he exclaimed.
"Gat 'iim!" They charged after the poor man in clown's robes, pitchforks and torches waving.
"I wonder what's going on over there," Zell said, pointing at the mob that was chasing a figure in multi colored clothes. The squirrelly fray had broken up by now, Seifer and Squall had run out of popcorn, Seph, Cloud, and Zack had made it out relatively unscathed, but Tseng and Rude weren't so lucky.
"Look guys! Another mob!" Seph yelled, pointing.
"YAY! BRAWL!" yelled Tseng, even though he was hurt.
"Don't take another damn limp!" Cid snarled, noticing that Tseng was in crutches.
"Come on you morons! We can't sit here until that mob comes and rips us to shreds; we have to get out of here!" Genesis yelled as he approached his group. "I know a guy; I met him when I was 'working', follow ME!"
"Wait a damn minute! 'Working?' WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN! GENESIS!" Cid screamed after his retreating figure.
"Hey Gackt, can you do a favor?" Genesis asked desperately, completely ignoring Cid.
The next thing they knew, Gackt, the security guard, was telling the angry mob that the group had left the mall.
Just as they were leaving, Gackt said "I believe you have something for me?"
Genesis sighed as he pulled out his wallet and gave Gackt 20.
"You know, we probably should leave the building…Just in case," Yuffie said heading toward the door. "We don't want to be spotted by that mob." But, just as she was walking out of the door a stray torch flew through the door and hit her head. "MY HAIR!" The others managed to put out the fire, but poor Yuffie's hair was singed badly.
"HOW COULD YOU! GENESIS, THIS IS ALL YOUR BEEP FAULT!" Yuffie screamed.
"Why is it my beep fault?" Genesis asked innocently.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO GET THAT GODFORSAKEN MOB CHASING YOU, BUT I KNOW IT'S YOUR BEEP FAULT!" Yuffie shrieked.
They managed to get the distraught ninja into their van and they drove back to their house. After a brief incident involving the law, they finally trudged into the house.
"Gee, I'm wiped!" Zell said.
"Well, at least we don't have to do THAT again!" Aerith said with a sigh of relief.
Cloud stared at her for a moment before saying: "Shopping."
Aerith gave a small scream.
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"
"Calm down, flower girl. You are way too dramatic!" Leon said with disgust.
"I AM NOT!"
One Day Later at AC's Party
"Out of the goodness of my heart, I have bought you the most presents!" Genesis dabbed at his eyes with a hankie. The others sweat dropped.
"No you didn't! You didn't get her anything. You just bought yourself chocolate!"
"Oh, yeah…well…well…well…That's not true! I did to get Armageddon Child something!" Genesis stuttered in his own defense.
"Really?" Leon asked.
"Yeah SHE never insults me! Well, if she does, at least I'm not around!" Genesis said.
"…MUAHAHAHA!" (Translation: That magenta dude got a present for me! HA!) AC said.
"Here you go!" He handed her a book labeled The Idiots Guide to Ruling the World. Then he thought about what he had just done. Opps. Then he grinned.
"Oh, I'm sorry Armageddon! That's not your book," said Genesis as he turned around and gave an evil chuckle. He then pulled out another book entitled The Adventures of the Adorably Cute Bunnies in Happy Happy Land. "This is your book."
There was an odd sizzling noise and AC's hands began to smoke.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed. (Translation: Why do these more-than-slightly psychotic friends insist on tormenting me! On my BIRTHDAY! The horrible, cute fluffiness! It BU-U-U-URNSSSSS! End the translation here you jackass! I said end here! Ugh, I can't work in these conditions! I'm going to my damn trailer.)
Tetsuya: CUT!
5 Minutes later they were all back in their living room getting ready to open the rest of the presents. Cloud and Zack's were first.
"Yay! She gets to open our presents first! Hope that this time you'll get a real one, eh, Armageddon?" Cloud asked his friend.
"W00T!" AC agreed (we think).
"Here you go! It's from both of us!" Zack said, handing her a bulky package. She ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal a leather collar with weird electrical thing-a-ma-jiggers on it.
"Whoa!" She put it on. "Leather dog collar!"
"Not quite. It's an electrical tracking collar! And it has a special attachment on it that makes it shock you if you get to close to anything that makes you laugh maniacally!"
"Aw, shit."
"The next present is from ME!" yelled Seph. He picked up a present that said: For AC. From Sephiroth. AC proceeded to rip the paper off enthusiastically.
"OMIGOSH!" she screamed. "THE LIMITED EDITION HELLO KITTY WAFFLE IRON VERSION 3.2 ONLY AVAILABLE IN JAPAN FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! Hello, what's this? A Genesis voodoo doll?" AC grinned evilly. "Thanks, Sephiroth!"
"Something gives me the feeling that this won't end well…" Zell said.
Seifer and Squall's presents were next. Both sets of eyes widened in horror as she opened their presents.
"White…leather…trench coat..." AC said, her eye twitching. "THERE IS NO BEEP WAY I'M GOING TO WEAR THAT DAMN PIECE OF TRASH!" she yelled.
"But wait, there's more! Open the other package!" Sephiroth said happily. And so she did. And the eye-twitch escalated into a full-fledged face-fault on AC's part, and a happy grin on Seifer's.
"HULA SKIRT!" Seifer yelled. For there was a blue grass hula skirt in the box, just like the one Riku wore in Dark mode. Seifer yanked it away from her and slipped it one. "Sweet!"
"You gave me a trench coat and a HULA SKIRT! GODDAMN YOU!" AC was furious. Seifer was pulling on her trench coat.
Then came Aerith's present.
"Here ya go!" she said, handing it to AC.
AC opened the package to find a pair of pants.
"Oh, um…Thanks, Aerith," she said.
"You're always wearing capris, so I figured you might like a pair of pants."
"Um…thanks again Aerith, but these pants are too big."
"Man, I thought they were just the right size. I got size eighteen."
"What the BEEP?! I do not have a BIG BUTT! You sick BITCH!" AC yelled.
Due to the violent, profane and ridiculously one-sided combat that ensued, this paragraph has been deleted from this story. They say you learn something new every day, and if nothing else besides wasting time you can't get back by reading this story, you have learned to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER insult a teenage girl. Thank you for your cooperation. THAT'LL BE 500 BUCKS YOU ASSHOLES! MUAHAHAHA! FEAR THE INSANE EDITOR!
(BlueFox: Uhhh…Guys, we don't have an editor.
Fang: Oh, yeah…
MakruTree: Nice going!
Edward: Why is that astronaut eating a cucumber?
BlueFox: Enough. Lets get back to the story!)
Next it was everyone's gift (where they all collaborated to get her something).
"Here is an exciting gift from all of us to you!" Zell leaned in close and whispered "But mostly from me, so please don't use it on me!"
"What was that?" Leon snarled.
"Nothing!" Zell replied.
Suddenly they heard a ripping noise. They all looked over from Zell's impending doom to see AC, surrounded by wrapping paper, holding a huge, shiny mallet. Her eyes were very big and shiny and she had a huge, very un-AC like grin on her face.
"IT'S THE SUPER DOOM MALLET 5000! WITH ELECTRO SHOCKING ATTACHMENTS! JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!"
"Uh oh." Cloud muttered and began to slowly wheel his wheelchair away from the now hyper blonde.
"MUST TEST IT OUT!" She ran over to Cloud and Zack and proceeded to slam and shock the living shit out of them.
"NO! WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! Yet…" they screamed. Suddenly, there was a (relatively) small explosion. (ZAP) "ACK! (twitch, twitch)" she screamed as her collar zapped her.
"What's going on?" Zell asked.
"It seems that the zapping power in her collar reacted to the zapping in her mallet! It's short-circuited!" Leon said. "…Oh well."
Squall sweat-dropped. "That's it? 'Oh well'?" Leon shrugged.
"Come on, Reno, Rude, Tseng, your presents are next!"
"Come on! They're upstairs!" They all went upstairs to the two spare rooms.
"Go on in!" Zell said.
"WOW! MY OWN PERSONAL GYM!" AC squealed like an OOC girl.
"OH MY GOSH! IT'S AN ARCADE! WITH A PLUSHIE MACHINE!" she yelled even louder than before.
"Zell, your turn! Here you go! Your old shoes are so hideous and 'out.' I hope you like these!" Squall said, thrusting a package at AC that was from Zell. She unwrapped it to reveal a pair of red shoes that actually look like they'd fit her.
"Cool! But, I like my old shoes…" AC said staring at them.
"But they're BIGGER!" Squall explained.
"And you're one to talk! You're shoes are bigger than mine!"
"Alright children…Break it up," said a bald and grumpy Yuffie.
"Oh, that's right. You're next Yuffie!" Tseng said, walking out of the arcade.
Reno went over to the pile and brought back a square package wrapped in blue paper. AC began to savagely tear the paper off. When it was off, there were several holes made from claw marks.
"Uh, Armageddon?"
AC hissed and growled. "You ruined my birthday enough, and none of you will ruin it more or ELSE!" ZAP. Twitch, twitch.
Everyone inched away. AC proceeded to rip the box to shreds. Once she had done so, her scowl disappeared.
"YUFFIE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE BALD ANYMORE!" she screamed. For inside the dismembered box lay a perfect black wig that looked exactly like Yuffie's ex-hair.
Yuffie was in a relatively good mood the rest of the day.
"Man, I have to go to the bathroom," Genesis said.
"Well then, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" Leon yelled.
"Don't open presents without me!" he called over his shoulder as he ran down the hall.
No one noticed when AC disappeared into the kitchen…
"You know, I can't believe Seph didn't think I'd do this when he gave it to me…" AC muttered to herself. She took her Hello Kitty Waffle iron, inserted the head of her Genesis voodoo doll, pressed down and turned it on. "Hehe…"
Five minutes later:
Genesis (finally) emerged from the bathroom, and said, "I hope Armageddon didn't open any presents without me…" Then he noticed everyone was staring at him. "What?"
"Your…head…HAHAHAHAHA!" For his head was now in a clear 'Hello Kitty' shape.
"ACK! BEEEEEEEEEP!" he screamed, feeling his head.
"Whoa…These things actually work!" AC exclaimed, staring at her voodoo doll.
"YO!" Zack said. (translation: Duh!)
"Okay," Tseng said, trying to calm everyone down. "Two more left. Leon, your present is next!" Leon grinned and handed AC a small package. She ripped off the paper. "You got her that DN Angel she's been wanting, right?" Tseng whispered.
"Yep! And a bargain too! All I had to pay was 6 dollars and 49 cents for the two boxes of cereal!" Tseng gaped at him.
"You gave her a rip off manga!" Leon nodded happily.
"Oh my gosh! Leon, this is sooo neat! How much did it cost?" Leon opened his mouth to reply, but Tseng slammed his elbow into his side.
"10.99!" the older teen replied.
"Thank you SO MUCH!" AC yelled. Tseng sighed. That was a close one.
"Alright! Last present! BlueFox, yours is up!" Aerith said, handing AC her gift.
"It'd better be good if you made me open it last…" she mumbled.
"Don't worry! You'll love it!" She began ripping off the paper. Then her eyes got VERY big.
"DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION EXTREME TWO! SWEET!"
"Let's try it out!"
"OK!" But as she ripped open the packaging, she discovered something very wrong. "Th-this isn't DDR! It's Karaoke Revolution!"
"What? Stupid store people…" BlueFox grumbled.
"Well, we can try it out anyway…"
AC popped the game in and started singing. Everyone screamed "AHHH!" and clapped they're hands over their ears. All the windows in the house broke.
"What a piece of shit."
"Yo. Yo yo-yo yoooo yoi yaoi yo," Zack said. (Translation: I want to sing. And this game isn't horrible you're just a horrible singer.) Then he started singing. It sounded so good, all the windows repaired themselves!
"Well, that doesn't defy all the laws of physics," Zell said disbelievingly.
"I will survive! I will sur-vive!" Zack sang, for once not in "yo" speech. A giant disco ball appeared, then fell down on top of Leon.
"I AM NOT OKAY!" Leon yelled, slightly muffled. Then AC's shock collar started going wild…Oh well!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARMAGEDDON CHILD!!
Okay, that was fun to do. Hopefully I didn't screw it up too badly. Neh heh heh heh heh. Oh…and you guys…the next chapter won't be out until further notice…and it's one that you've all been requesting a lot. You're all going to hate me, I swear. But the wait will be worth it!
Sorry you're REALLY OOC AC.
Requests? Ideas? Feedback? Send it in by way of review, please!