The Regret

Chapter II

Unable To Cry

"Body, mind, soul: all are sheared away."

The voice filled the void of darkness and silence and reverberated. She felt as though she was completely surrounded and enclosed within it while being forced away from it all at the same time.

"If to serve this purpose I shall be despised, my body scorched and blackened, so be it."

Who did the voice belong to? Why was it so haunting familiar? Her thoughts were like many thin chains without solidity or connections. She couldn't call to them to rationally determine where and who she was. Nevertheless, she had the vague awareness of what was around her. Was the force pushing her away from the voice…her own will?

"If to serve this purpose, I must command forbidden magicks, so be it!"

Yes…it was her own will telling her not to follow the voice. The person it belonged to could not be trusted. His name and face eluded her, but something deep inside knew not to get too close. Uncertainty and traces of fear were associated with the voice. She was alarmed when she was suddenly pulled forward and the darkness disappeared momentarily.

"Though my body may be tainted…"

The vision of a room flashed before her. It was a bright place, though it was blurry and she could not be sure what she was seeing. She noticed the indistinguishable forms of three people. Their distinctive auras separated them from the rest of the room.

"Though my soul may be tainted…"

She could think again. She could feel a body of some sort ready to respond to her actions. Was it truly her own? No…it couldn't have been. It was too small, too weak… She was jolted closer to the voice yet again and lost conception of resistance. She was alarmed at first but a wave of familiarity washed over her. She no longer felt as though the body was so distant as darkness overtook her once more.

"I imbue thee with though."

Yes…this body was her own. Without a doubt. But what was this sudden foreboding that flooded over her? Her curiosity mounted and she awaited the emotion to take form. Maybe it could tell her who she was and why there was strange divide within her mind.

"I swear as the gods swear,"

This feeling curling around the edges of her consciousness…what was it? It felt far too minor for the extreme foreboding that was starting dissipate around her. She couldn't remember anything, so the worst it could be was physical pain.

"And breath life into the void!"

A scream caught in her throat as her eyes snapped open. She slumped to the floor, her eyes falling closed as the pain sank over her like a heavy veil, immobilizing her. It was nothing in comparison to physical pain. This pain came from within her and tore her up from the inside out. She was sure as the darkness invaded her senses once more that the pain was completed with another emotion. It didn't make sense though…why would it be it regret?

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"Would you forget me too, Platina?"

"There, she should be coming too."

The voice was hazy and hard to understand. She couldn't be sure of his exact words. More hushed voices, one sounding uncertain and nearly afraid, spun around the room. Opening her eyes would have been too much of a strain.

"I just want to forget…forget it all."

It felt though as the words had just parted company with her lips. Something else nagged at the feeling, but it was insignificant in comparison with her thoughts. She hadn't just uttered those words. She was no longer in physical pain, though her current body felt unusually heavy. She was uncertain with the functionality of her senses but they were not gently slipping away from her as they had been before.

I…died, didn't I?

But I have a body now, don't I?

She tried sitting up and despite some minor protest from her tired muscles she found herself able to do so. She tried remembering what had happened since Lucian asked her if she would forget him too that would explain why she felt so drained, but no such memories came to mind.

Lucian… She thought, a pang of regret shooting though her mind. I left you all alone…you kept calling to me, even after I couldn't hear you anymore…

She looked up, her expression blank as a rather suggestively dressed woman smile down at her. She shivered as the other mage in the room spoke. It was his voice that pulled her from the void.

"Brahms Castle, eh? Shall we go?"

The woman turned to him and nodded saying, "Let's. Arngrim? Are you ready?"

A hulking, armor-clad man stepped forward from where he'd been hanging back in the corner of the room. His gaze fell upon the girl before meeting the older woman's. "Yes."

The male mage that made her feel so unsettled nodded approving and held out an arm, as a purple, almost fuchsia, aura spread around the trio. Their bodies became slightly translucent as the light curled around their limbs. They were temporarily transparent before disappearing. The remaining light burst into purple glitter and drifted to the downward, snapping into nothingness when it hit the floor or any of the furniture in the room.

She leaned back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling futile in every way.

"Would you forget me too, Platina?"

Lucian…where are you now? I feel as though I should know, but I feel so alone here. I had no faith in him then…I couldn't accept my parents had really sold me. I thought he was overreacting at the time but he was right.

I wonder how much time has passed since I died…must have been a while, if I'm able to think like this without feeling guilty.

She felt worried a moment later, but doubted the emotion had registered on her face.

Where did Lucian go? There's no way he went back to Coriander… I suppose he could have gone to Villnore, but that's such a large distance from the Weeping Lily Meadow. I hope he got there okay…

She shifted slightly, uncomfortable with the abrupt change of emotions spiraling through her mind. What was this alien feeling? It was uncharacteristic for her with such regret controlling her thoughts. A rational, unusually calm thought passed through her mind; I know he got out of there fine, he was living in Gerabellum.

How did I know that…? She wondered, suddenly alarmed. Why as she suddenly feeling further and further away from the memory of her last moments in Weeping Lily Meadow? She tried remembering, becoming sure she was missing memories. She winced as physical pain erupted from within her mind.

Her eyes widened as she came to a horrible realization. She was not just a teenage girl of Coriander. She had lead another life between then and now. Lucian was part of that life too. However…why couldn't she remember any of it?

She felt betrayed by her own mind. She had met him again! She knew where he was! She knew…she knew what happened to him. But she couldn't remember any of it…she was aware when she had met him again, she was completely unaware of his identity…

She closed her eyes and became aware of her weakness. She could barely move. She could barely convey the pain that was overflowing from within her. She sensed the regret of another person that was her and not her all at the same time.

Lucian! She thought desperately, unable to recall the memory she knew would be horrible. What's happening to me? Who am I? Do I even want to be this person?

The tumultuous emotions she was feeling were enough to make her feel fatigued. She felt sleep and peaceful unconsciousness beckoning to her mind. She wouldn't have given into it if it weren't for the fact she was unable to cry.

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Author's Note: Yep, I'm reopening The Regret. I've decided to add to a few other scenes. I am particularly proud of this installment, since I always thought this part of the game was very critical but vastly underrated. I took a lot of this into my own hands but I think it's an acceptable idea. After all, Lezard says he doesn't know what has become of Lenneth's persona and all. Plus, I've been dying to use the Sovereign's Rite incantation in something. XD

I'm a big supporter of Lenneth x Lucian but their pairing doesn't get much attention. After I finished Valkyrie's Favor I plan on working on Iterum Tu Videre, and also think of starting a Lenneth x Lucian fic. For now, The Regret will be a collection of scenes from various points in the game.

Thanks for reading and please review! I'll be updating the little intro paragraph soon, too. I have a few ideas for other scenes to add to and a few random parodies for their pairing. If you have any suggestions or scenes you'd like to see here, just say so in a review or email me!