The Regret
Chapter IV
Why?
Lenneth Valkyrie's heart was racing as she appeared above Weeping Lily Meadow. She dropped to the ground gracelessly, silver feathers getting caught in the wind her wings produced and fluttering down to the ground. She left her Valkyrie wings fade a moment later.
It has to be here! Hrist didn't take it with her…I dropped it near the grave…
Her breathing was ragged as she jumped to her feet and began to scan the ground for any sign of what had transpired there earlier. She thought she saw the rock marking Platina's grave and stepped forward but her knees gave out from under her.
She dropped to the cold grass, her body trembling violently. She tried to take a deep breath to quell the unbecoming reaction for a goddess but at that moment she didn't feel like a goddess. Far from it. She didn't even want to be a goddess…
One of her own silver feathers drifted down the land in front of her hands. She looked up, staring at the mid-winter constellations distantly. The translucent night sky was the only thing that didn't reflect the unbecoming human emotions she was succumbing to.
She closed her eyes tightly. If this is what it means to have "humanity," I don't want it. I want to be like that sky again, undaunted by what goes on around and below me.
Lenneth swallowed and got to her feet, running toward what looked like the grave. She pushed the lilies around it away, muttering one of the swear words Arngrim and Lawfer would often use as she scanned the rest of the area without luck.
It had been twilight where she woke up, but she was nearly on the exact opposite side of the continent and it was the dark of night. The moon was still full but clouds were scattered about in the sky, taking away from its luminescence shining down on the ground below.
She was always there at night. It was almost an ironic and cruel twist of fate the only time she was there at twilight was when she had transferred Lucian. There was no worse time of the day or night than twilight. Dawn was different; it ushered in a new day. Twilight only summoned the night to fill Midgard with darkness.
A stab of pain filled her heart when his name passed through her mind. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she continued to search desperately for the earring. Twilight…if Ragnarok is the Twilight of The Gods, then surely, that could be called the twilight of us.
She hardly noticed when Arngrim, Mystina, and Lezard appeared. There was a breeze blowing in the valley but it was interrupted by the sudden gust of wind when the transfer magic began. There was a large flash of pinkish-purple tinted light as the circle formed. It illuminated the area for a long moment and cast colored shadows against the surrounding mountains.
The gust blew Lenneth's hair and skirt forward as a large stone far off to her left came into view. Her heart leapt at its' sight. She tried to quell the sudden hope as she ran in the direction she saw it. It was a simple task; yet the sorrow had been crushing her since she'd recovered her memories.
She dropped to her knees near the tombstone and ran her fingers along the ground between the flowers, seeking the small silver earring. She tried to recreate the events in her mind after she picked it up.
The memories had started rushing back; countless painful memories, the only good ones involving Lucian. The strongest and most prominent memories that had dilated her mind were dying in the very same valley.
After that, when she started collecting herself, Odin and Freya's 'failsafe' engaged and Hrist started overtaking her mind and body. She wasn't sure if the reminiscence of her old life was worse than slowly losing herself to the other Valkyrie.
Hrist threw it…surely she didn't crush it before that…
But she could have.
The Valkyrie shuddered at the thought. She could picture it too clearly; the earring was old and fragile. It'd shatter and break into such tiny pieces, it'd be impossible to find them all.
This is not repentance…even if I find the earring, nothing will change what I've done…
Nothing will bring him back…
Nothing will undo his death.
"What's she doing?" Mystina asked, Lenneth only distantly noticing her voice.
"She seems to be looking for something…" Lezard replied, hanging back as Arngrim stepped forward.
"Calm down!" The warrior called after her.
"No!" Lenneth yelled frantically, "Lucian gave me that earring…"
"Who's Lucian?" Lezard asked Mystina quietly, scowling slightly.
"Uh, another einherjar…," Mystina replied hesitantly, knowing how Lazard was going to get. She glanced over to Lenneth then added sadly, "they seemed to get along really well."
Lezard frowned at Mystina's reply. "A male einherjar involved in close relations with my Lenneth?"
Mystina sighed in response. He always had to be a distraction. "Don't be such a freak, Lezard…this is serious."
"So is some oaf of a knight fraternizing with Lenneth!" Lezard retorted sourly.
"The earring is all…it's all that…it's all that I have left of Lucian!" Lenneth cried, the tears that had been forming in her eyes finally overflowing as she leaned back, arms hanging limply at her sides. "…Lucian… Why, Lucian? Why did you have to die like that?"
She looked up at the half hidden moon hopelessly. "What can I do?" Her voice cracked as she spoke and slumped forward in dejection. "I cannot make amends…I cannot return him to the living…!"
"I…," she whispered hollowly, straightening and letting her gaze settle on the full moon. It was a perfect sphere. "I hate it…"
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Author's Note: And I hate my parnets interupting me EVERY TWO SECONDS. There's a mad scientist at work in here! -runs around in circle madly- WHY DID I LEAVE IT ALL UNTIL TODAY?
Ahem…
Today, September 3rd, 2008, celebrates me being a member of for exactly one year! Open a bottle of Don Perignon! XD Okay, sorry, I'll stop listening to Utada Hikaru's Heart Station album now…
I don't remember when I started posting, but I remember coming up with my screen name. I was brainstorming with a person who is no longer a large part of my life. That got me thinking about everything that has changed.
I got looking at some of my older stories like Valkyrie's Favor and Xenosaga IV. I've been very active in the Final Fantasy VII section writing Crisis Core fan fics for the last six or so months, but I still remember where I started out and where I was originally welcomed to .
Thus, I'd just like to say "thanks" to all my readers! :D Hugs and cookies for you all!
Now I shall end this rant on a positive note before I yell that my father distracting me every three seconds is going to drive me mad…subete…