Is it selfish of me to want you to be here beside me?
Is it foolish of me to tell you how I felt when even I knew that you didn't feel the same way?
-o0o-
Fuji walked in the Saigaku gates as he smiled at those who greeted him. Making his way towards the tennis courts, he heard the worried questions asked to their captain.
'Tezuka…' Fuji thought with melancholy as he felt his heart ache recalling what Tezuka had said that fateful night.
"I'm sorry, Fuji, but I don't feel the same way for you."
Placing his mask back on as he approached the team, he cheerfully greeted them like any other day.
"Ohayou, minna-san." His gaze travelled towards Tezuka as he forced himself to speak, "Ohayou,
Tezuka. How's the wound?"
Tezuka nodded at him in acknowledgement before replying, "It's getting better now."
Fuji's smile dropped a notch, not that they'd notice.
'I wish that you would hate me for saying something stupid to you that night. At least it would assure me that you really believed what I said, but with you acting like as if it never occurred just pains me even more.'
"Saa…that's good to hear then." Fuji's grip on his tennis bag strap unconsciously tightened, "I wouldn't want to feel responsible if you would be unable to play tennis just because you saved me."
Tezuka nodded once again as he looked at the tensai.
If everything were to remain as is, it would pain Fuji even more. But if things were to change for the worse, he wouldn't know what to do.
Giving Tezuka one last smile, he headed off to the club room to change for the morning practice.
-o0o-
"The heart is a muscular organ in all vertebrates responsible for pumping blood through the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions. The beating of the heart can't be controlled as it responses to the body's current condition and vice versa…" the teacher droned on and on about the heart.
Fuji was uninterested to what he was saying since he had another meaning for it, 'The heart is a muscle where you decide your stupid decisions and is also responsible for giving you the hardest wound to heal that even time can't mend.'
Giving out a soft sigh, he refocused his gaze outside the window watching the trees gently sway with the wind.
"I only said 'I love you', I didn't say 'Please love me too'."
Fuji felt his heart ache yet again. Opening his azure eyes briefly where one could see the look of hurt, regret and loneliness.
"Ne, Fujiko-chan, daijobou ka?" a soft voice from behind him asked, turning around a bit on his seat, he gave Kikumaru a small smile reassuring him that he's okay. Turning his attention back to the teacher he waited for the minutes to pass by.
-o0o-
"Nya… Fuji's been off lately." Kikumaru said as he and Oishi walked together, "Don't worry Eiji, there must be a lot in his mind." Oishi assured his friend.
"But Oishi, he's always staring outside the window with this sad look on his face and I'm beginning to feel gloomy too." Kikumaru whined yet again.
Oishi smiled at his partner, reassuring him that Fuji just have a lot in his mind.
Looking forward, he couldn't help but also think that Fuji had been acting weird all morning.
Oishi and Eiji then entered the cafeteria searching for the table where the team would usually sit down, they finally spotted them and couldn't help but notice that Fuji was seated farther away from Tezuka when usually; he'd be the one beside him.
Sitting down, they all then began to do their usual things which always resulted a migraine to Tezuka.
-o0o-
Fuji stared at his food realizing that he didn't want to eat anything.
Usually, he'd be beside Tezuka offering him food and also stealing – asking some of his. Right now, Tezuka was two seats away from him with Momoshiro and Echizen in between them.
Realizing that he had let his mask slip of, he then placed back his usual smile as he joined in their conversation. But that moment of weakness didn't escape someone's eyes.
-o0o-
His smile dropped by 0.021 cm just this morning and he is now seated away from Tezuka. A 97.34 percent chance that he confessed and got rejected or a 42.55 percent chance that he confessed but Tezuka didn't hear it. Seems like the former though.
Hmm… he also seemed a bit off this morning when Fuji asked him about his arm. Chance of requited love is 84.31 percent… that's too much I guess but one can never too sure when it comes to…love.
Wait… he's looking at him. His eyes opened for 1.32 seconds and he also glanced at him and his frown dropped even more. Interesting.
-o0o-
"20 laps around the court for warm ups!" Tezuka's voice rang out through the courts as everyone complied with his order.
He felt something out of place. Usually, when he would give out orders, there would be a teasing voice beside him saying that he's going to get wrinkles if he keeps on frowning.
Letting his gaze follow the source of his current mood, he couldn't help but notice his soft chocolate brown hair flying with the wind. How his smile enticed everyone around him.
Fuji then passed in front of him and he could swear that he saw Fuji's eyes wander to meet his momentarily.
Removing his gaze from the tensai, his attention returned to the other members who were running.
He couldn't regret what he had said to Fuji that night because he shouldn't regret at what he had chose to do. It was what he wanted and right now, he was suffering its consequences.
The consequence of being unable to approach Fuji without feeling awkward or without feeling butterflies in his stomach whenever Fuji would smile at him a genuine smile.
They were all consequences to an act he chose to do. He wanted the best for both of them, but he had forgotten how painful the consequences can be.
He had let his guard down yet again.
-o0o-
What the human can see is not enough to be judged of.
Sometimes, it takes the heart to see clearly.
But ironically, the heart is also the source of misery to most people.
-o0o-
Hello!! I've finally decided to write the sequel, sorry if it's kinda short.. please give me any ideas so that I'd be even more inspired to write! I hope this didn't disappoint you!
Review please!
MysticBlood