Collapsed

Why did I let you go
You're too good to be true
I messed it up and now I don't know what to do
We ran in circles and wasted time
From right to wrong
From right to wrong

Kai picked at the seams of the seat with his nails. The leather felt cold as it pressed against the bare skin of his arms. Kai smiled and tilted his head back, enjoying the sensation of the sun, which he knew was not to last, beating against his face. Spencer always did like his cars, thought Kai as he closed his eyes, indulging in the privileges of a convertible.

"We left awfully early," commented Tyson. He looked out to his left and pushed away the bangs that were blown onto his face. "The meeting's not for, what? Nearly two hours? And we have to be there a certain amount of time before hand for lunch so…"

"Mm," agreed Max. He swallowed his mouthful of soda and grinned. "Rei and I wanted to buy a new jacket before we had to go to the meeting. That's alright, right?"

Tyson chuckled and threw his arm around the blonde's shoulders. "Stress less Maxie, it's fine. Do you really think I would care? It's not everyday I get to ride in a convertible Beamer, now is it?"

Bryan smirked, and deciding to entertain them, shifted gears and sped up. As he stole a glance at Kai, he smiled. He knew the younger Russian loved the feeling of speed. When they taxied in a plane, his favourite part was just before they took off, and right when they landed. Whenever he could, he would drive on the highway, where he had the chance to go faster.

Diachi threw his hands in the air and cheered, and Rei gave a delighted laugh. He leaned forward, resting his arms against the back of Bryan's chair. He leaned further forward and kissed Bryan below his ear. "This is fun," he commented.

Kai's eyes flicked open and he glanced back at Rei. He nodded happily and slowly moved his hand to his seatbelt buckle. Bryan saw him and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Kai tucked his legs under him and quickly unbuckled his belt. As soon as he was free of his constriction, and much to the horror of the others, he stood up on his seat.

"Kai!" the others chorused worriedly. Kai wobbled for a second, and then grinned mischievously as he gave a small jump to miss Bryan as the older teen lunged at him with a growl of Kai's last name.

Bryan grabbed the wheel quickly as the car swerved, and cursed loudly. He should have known the blunette would pull a stunt like this, he was acting too… too… carefree… as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Bryan immediately felt guilty.

Kai sat against the door and cocked his head, listening curiously as Rei and the rest of his team tried to convince him into sitting back down in his seat. He twisted and threw one leg over the side of the car. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the back of his seat and, making sure his legs were holding tightly, he managed to swing himself around to the back of the car, via the outside of the car. Tyson immediately grabbed Kai around the waist and tugged him into the car. Kai landed with an oof, sprawled across all of them.

"Don't ever try that again, got that?" growled Tyson, seizing Kai by the collar. Kai glared at him, then twisted himself out of Tyson's grip, and sat himself back into the front passenger seat. His eyes dulled considerably and as Bryan stared at him, he sighed. He pulled over.

To answer the questioning glances he received from all, he gestured towards the steering wheel and then looked at Kai. "Wanna drive?"

Kai raised a fine eyebrow, and then smirked. He quickly swapped seats with Bryan, and revved the car into life. "Hold on," he warned, and without checking for other cars, pulled back out onto the road, and immediately sped up. It was only seconds before he had breached the speed limit and started swerving in between cars.

He yanked on the steering wheel and the back of the car swerved out and into a parking space. "We're here," he reported cheerily and climbed out of the car. Kai headed for the shop he knew Rei and Max were planning to go, leaving the others in the car and to their bewildered thoughts.

It wasn't long before something caught his attention, which often wandered now days. He couldn't help but stare at the news report flashing on the many TV's in the window of a popular electronics store. As the sports report came on, he trailed in to hear.

'When interviewed earlier this morning, Mr Stanley Dickinson, head of the BBA, told reporters that there would be another charity tournament next month. A meeting is being held with favourite international beybladers this afternoon. Our sports reporter, James, has more information."

Kai blinked as the camera swivelled, his head spinning as though he had been the one turned. A young man's face showed up, all smiles and excitement as pictures of the different Beyblading teams flashed up on the screen behind him.

Kai scowled. He hated the guy already. It was unnatural to be that happy. It was insane and unfair and… Kai's thoughts pulled to a halt and he smiled grimly. He wasn't jealous now, was he?

"…and the big question now is, even though it is just a charity match, fans and spectators are wondering which team team-captain Kai Hiwatari of the Bladebreakers, or G Revolutions, and team member of the Russian Blitzkrieg Boys, will choose. After his break up with Tala Ivanov, the captain of the Blitzkrieg Boys, many believe the choice is obvious. We can only wait and see. Back to you Anna."

"Thank you James. And in other news…"

Head twitching to the left, Kai frowned and shook his head, confused. He was aware of the others standing around him waiting, watching, waiting, waiting, waiting for what? Why would they be waiting? What are they waiting for? Him? Why? Everything was always questioned and never answered.

His hands flew to his cheeks and the others watched as words poured from Kai's mouth, even if the teen himself was unaware. "Why wait when you can take? Take part of me and never give it back, isn't that what you want? Are they waiting for my answer? Why, why, why wait? Obvious, very obvious, Bladebrea-kers… always, always, always. Always blade for them… for them? With them? Always will, have to, no choice…. But the others… and Tala… who to choose…. They know I would always blade for them, right? Wait, they? Who're they? Cant be Tala, I'm filth, disgusting… unworthy…" and as Kai stiffened, it all came rushing back to him. He slowly sunk to his knees, whispering the phrase he had told Tala just last month. To his horror, and as much as he tried to force the sensation back down, a chuckle erupted from between his lips, sounding as natural as any other laugh. He clamped his hands over his mouth but he couldn't, wouldn't stop. Stop dammit! Enough please. Oh God please, no more, no more, no more, no more. Why, why, why wait? Just take whatever's left of me; don't leave me here to break in this world of insanity. Nevertheless, no one would dare take in someone disgusting as himself

"…Broken is what you are… and broken is how he left you," murmured Bryan. He knelt down next to Kai and grabbed him by the chin. Forcing the younger teen to look at him, he leaned in close until their noses were almost touching and he could feel Kai's breath against his lips. He searched the crimson orbs and stared the other down as he continued. "Has he affected you that much that you ended up like this… you're friendship is in shambles, and you're sanity isn't far behind. But you can't stand to live without his approval… not just anyone's, it has to be his because you're so insecure it's sickening and it makes me wonder… how great is Kai Hiwatari, really? Or is he just a shell of fake dreams and twisted goals?"

Kai's breath was hitting his lips in short little uneven puffs of air and as Bryan slipped a finger to Kai's pulse, he could feel it fluttering madly beneath his fingertips. He ran a tongue along the edges of his teeth. "You can't face the truth until it's told to you by someone else and then you break… but you'll cover it up with your stupid emotionless make up, that wretched mask made up of lies and self-doubts. Don't slip through my grip just yet, Kai. You can take this shit… or are you really this pathetic?" He leaned in close so he was right next to Kai's ear and he felt the other shiver as his breath ghosted over Kai's ear. "Fuck it, I know you are…"

Kai jerked his head back and out of Bryan's grip. Bryan stared straight ahead, eyes not leaving the spot where Kai had been as the other bolted past him and towards the car park. He knew it wasn't just his words that affected the teen, there had to be something else. But right now, he didn't give a fuck, because he was so confused it hurt, and he felt as though he were about to be sick. The pressure was pushing in against him and forcing every rational thought from his mind, and dimly he wondered if this was anything like how Kai felt.

My mind is blank just like a clean slate
Will I meet another guy with the same blue eyes
And the same name, with the converse shoes I gave.
I can't really have the same
Now come on baby.
Will I make another mistake.
And think he's just another fake.

He was going to be sick. Sick, sick, sick. Reflections… memories? All the same in a twisted world such as his… in a twisted mind such as his. The rain hit his face like ice shards as he burst through the doors and into the car park. He was grateful for the small distraction. But before he knew it, Bryan's words came crashing down on him and as he recalled what he had seen he stumbled to the car, slumping against its side and sliding to the ground.

My shoulder. Your arm. My scowl. Your smile. My failure. Your success. My heart. Once yours. But now that you're not here with me... it's now. All gone.

He shuddered and his eyes slipped close. Tipping his head to the heavens, raindrops rolled down his cheeks like tears. The cold seeped through his clothing and under his skin, sitting in his bones. His muscles went numb and he relaxed. It would be ok; it would all be ok… eventually.

A red four wheel drive tried pulling into the park next to the convertible, but the driver quickly hit the brakes as he spotted a set of legs sprawled out, leading up to a soaking wet body slumped against the other car.

Honking the horn, the driver leaned forward, cursing. "Come on, you stupid drunk, wake up and move."

His two companions leaned forward from the back seats to see what was going on.

"Try honking again," one of them suggested. And so the driver did.

Blinking slowly, Kai looked to the other car and frowned. He recognised that car, knew that car, yes he did. But he was so tired and it was so cold and so hot and he was so utterly confused, he didn't give a shit about the outside world.

One of the passengers began slowly tapping the driver's shoulder as he thought, trying to get the other's attention. As the crimson eyes of the 'drunk' opened, his thoughts were confirmed and he tapped the other furiously.

"Garland! Brooklyn! It's Kai!" exclaimed Mystel, hurriedly undoing his seatbelt.

Garland twisted in his seat to stare at the blonde, "what?" but Mystel was already scrambling out of the car. Ordering Brooklyn to stay in the car, Garland quickly followed.

"Kai, Kai, Kai," Mystel murmured repeatedly as he knelt down next to the Russian. Garland knelt next to him and gently slipped an arm around Kai's shoulders and under his knees. Preparing himself, he lifted Kai into the air, almost falling backwards when all his efforts went to waste and Kai was lifted easily. This kid was light!

Heading towards his car, he told Mystel to grab the blanket from the boot. Brooklyn shimmied over to Mystel's door, which he had left open, and helped Garland lift Kai into the car. He pulled Kai onto his lap and cradled him against his chest and Garland closed the door.

Mystel jumped into the front passenger seat, and Garland was quick to reverse and leave. He knew he had recognised the number plate on the convertible, he didn't know anyone other than the Russians who would have the number plate, 'DNG3RU5'.

"Mystel, call Bryan. Let him know we've got Kai. Tell him… we're taking him home, not to the meeting. He's too sick," said Garland. He huffed, thinking hard, and a strand of his hair drifted up before dropping back down onto his face.

Mystel spoke rapidly into the phone and frowned. Holding his hand over the bottom of the phone, he turned to Garland and said, "He says, don't take him home. Bring Kai to the meeting. Kai will be fine. If he is sick it won't kick in for a day or two."

Garland opened his mouth to protest, but closed it and nodded stiffly. Though he was against the idea, Bryan would know what was best for Kai. Glancing in the rear-view mirror, Garland sighed miserably.

Brooklyn caught Garland's eye. He dropped his emerald gaze to the teen sleeping in his lap and brushed Kai's slate locks off his forehead to gently rest his hand there. The skin wasn't hot… but if the flushed cheeks were anything to go by...

Kai was so close to tipping. It was as if he was walking on a tightrope high above the world with death, insanity and heartbreak on one side, and life, freedom and love on the other, both sides holding one of his hands and keeping him steady. And slowly, Kai was tipping more towards the negative. And as he finally fell, all he saw was Tala. Tala, Tala, Tala, everywhere. Laughing, pointing. Would no one cry if he were lost forever?

Kai jolted awake, panting. Someone was stroking his hair, and he realised his body was stretched out on a black leather couch… like the one's in Mr Dickinson's office, realised Kai. He looked up to the person who was allowing him to use their legs as a pillow and found Bryan staring back with those ever intensive eyes.

Bryan slowly pulled his hand away and let Kai sit up. He watched him cautiously as crimson eyes darted around. He noted the way Kai spent an extra few seconds looking at the doors and windows in the room. Surprisingly though, Kai didn't try anything. He just stared at Bryan and… nothing.

"Garland, Brooklyn and Mystel found you in the rain. I'll go tell them you're awake," muttered Bryan. Just as he placed his hand on the door handle, there was a weight on his back.

Before he could stop himself, Kai lunged after the other. He wrapped his arms around his waist, pressed his chest against his back and leant his forehead on the other's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. But how? How can you all be so stupid?! You all keep waiting on me, expecting an answer, expecting something, which I can't give. And I don't know why you, of all people, who have had to deal with every bit of emotion that has leaked from my pores and spilled from my eyes, been cried from my mouth without my control… you have seen the worst, and yet you're. Still. Here," Kai fisted his hands in Bryan's shirt. "Why won't you leave?"

Bryan was still. Honestly, he didn't know. There was something, something in Kai's eyes that told him it wasn't a joke it was serious. But while others thought it hopeless, he also saw something in those eyes worth fighting for. Kai wasn't broken yet. Tala had come damn fucking close, closer than anyone else had, yes, but he hadn't broken Kai yet. So while the redhead strolled around looking awfully proud, as though nothing had happened, it was he who would smirk and laugh. He knew what Tala was all about and he hoped that every time Tala caught sight of the scarily thin face, the paler than usual skin, the seemingly darker triangles and the haunted crimson eyes that… that… This was too much, even for the mighty Hiwatari. Tala had done the one thing that neither Boris nor Voltaire had been able to do… because he had come so dangerously close, so fucking close. The thought made his heart miss a beat and his breath catch in his throat. He had always thought that if Kai ever broke, the world would soon go crashing down with him.

"It's ok Kai, because I myself don't really know either…" He opened the door, ready to leave Kai to his thoughts, but instead, he froze.

Kai felt the other tense. He glanced over Bryan's shoulder and felt everything inside him flip. Now he definitely knew he was going to be sick. Blue was such a wonderful colour and red so bright, but he did not like them when they looked like that, like him. Nor did he like them when they meshed together with the golds and the yellows, the lilacs and the purples. The colours of all the other bladers… when they all swirled together, they were horribly sickening, becoming this awful brown, and then red and finally… black.

Wish I could erase the past
Wish I could bring you back
If I knew that you were mine
I wouldn't have wasted time
I wish I could erase the past
Now its all collapsed
In my lap

Well there ya go! The lyrics are Collapsed by Aly and Aj. Hope you enjoyed and thank you to my reviewers!

TTFN!

Kavbj