Hey everyone!
I hope you haven't been waiting with baited breath for the next chapter for too long (not likely!). It's very short, I know, but rest assured that I'll try to update sooner, if possible. I'd like to thank my reviewers, especially fellow writer BSF16, who came with some ideas that I haven't yet put into action! Sorry! This isn't really my favorite chapter, but I felt bad with leaving you guys hanging! I might get back to it and change it later, but for now I'm just gonna leave it at this. Okay, I'll shut up now. Enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own any character, they belong to Stephenie Meyer. Dang!
((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))
The wind ripped mercilessly at my dress, tearing viciously at the skirt only to release it so it slapped against my legs. My hair was one big tangled mess from running my cold, sweaty hands through it repeatedly. My knees shook from cold as I drowned in the deep abyss of my own mind. My mind, which had always been my one sanctuary my whole life. When Charles let his wrath out on me, I could hide in my head, crawling up in a dark corner until it was over. Now as I stood on the edge of the cliff, my death imminent, I found my mind, my memory, were the things I wished to escape from most of all. I took a step forward, feeling dizzy as I stared down at the ground so far below me. I did not know how long I had been standing here. Time was of no concern for me now.
Do it, Esme. Just one step, and it will all be over.
I stood stock-still, no sound reaching my ears. Except for a high pitched, raw noise that I couldn't place. With a jolt, I realized it was coming from deep within my chest. It frightened me beyond anything. The sound was so desperate, so hopeless that the whole ordeal flashed before my inner eye.
The first time I had held my baby boy. Filling me from head to toe, that feeling of loving someone so unconditionally, so fully it was almost overwhelming. I took in every aspect of his absolute perfection: his pudgy, baby fingers with their delicate nails. The color of his bewitching blue eyes. The tuft of silky caramel hair, so similar to my own, upon his flawless head. I bent my head low, and whispered into the whirls of his little ears,
"My beautiful, perfect baby."
Tears began sliding thickly down my hectic red cheeks as I hugged myself, the rasping sound in my chest intensifying.
"We lost him, Esme." The nurse told me gently, her usually sweet, dimpled face now grave and serious. I stared back into her kind, worried eyes, not comprehending. What did she mean, "we lost him"? I understood the words perfectly well, but the context confused me.
"Your baby didn't make it." The nurse prompted, obviously unsettled by my lack of emotion.
My mind went completely blank. No. NO.
"But it's only a cold! You can't die of a cold!" I said frantically, sitting up straight in the bed, grabbing at the nurse. She did not say anything, simply clasped my hand in hers. Her silence was worse than if she had said something. A tidal wave of grief passed through me, so strong I let out a choked wail of despair. I felt full to the brim of pure, unadulterated anguish. I doubled over on the bed, sobbing loudly into the covers. Dear God, why didn't you take me?? I felt as if somebody had punched a hole in my midsection, depriving me of breath. My baby. My son.
I opened my eyes wide, breaking out of my anguished thoughts.
And then I jumped off the edge of the cliff.
I felt pain. Pain, as I had never experienced it in my whole life. Never had pain been so intense, so obliterating as what was pulsating through my veins at this very moment. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. I simply opened my mouth, and let out a blood-curdling scream. I was in hell. I was burning up in the fiery pits of hell for committing suicide. The agony never dulled, never decreased in intensity.
It simply burned for all it was worth, and I was powerless to stop it.
((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))
Well, that was it. There'll probably be more quite soon, if you guys actually like this! Thanks again to my reviewers! Cheers!