All characters still belong to JK.
A/N: Thanks to my lovely reviewers—notwritten, duj, Terrihomeschools, sad clown, Looks Far Woman, GregoryHouseAddict, Hermione09Weasley, and MaritimeStars. You all keep me going!
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If you told me ten years ago that I'd be married to Severus Snape, I would have thought you were barking mad. I knew him as a teacher at Hogwarts and he was the meanest teacher ever. Then, during the War, he was the Headmaster of Hogwarts, despite having put a killing curse on the previous Headmaster. In the end, it was revealed that he had been working as a double agent for Headmaster Dumbledore, and his assignment was to spy on Voldemort. Some people say he did his job a little too well. And they do have a point.
I don't like to think about those days. I like to think about how we started dating.
I sank into a deep depression after Ron and I broke off our engagement. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was sit around and listen to sad songs and look at the pictures I kept and treasured--pictures of us in our happier days. I never thought of suicide, but I was so desperately unhappy...
One night I was wandering the streets near my flat because I couldn't bear another night alone. I wound up at a cafe full of people who looked just as miserable as I felt. I found a booth in a corner and ordered some coffee.
There was a man there, who played the piano and sang songs about the War. I found a weird sort of comfort listening to him, and for the first time in a long time, I found myself actually enjoying something. I came back to the cafe again and again. I guess you could call me a regular. People got used to the sight of me in my corner booth.
Then one night, I happened to see Severus at another table, and it looked like he was alone. I shrank back into my booth, wanting to watch him unseen, fascinated. The last time I'd seen him in person, apart from the newspaper photos, had been the night of the Battle of Hogwarts, when Ron, Harry and I left him for dead in the Shrieking Shack. Later we found out that he'd been rescued and revived by unknown wizards, then left at St. Mungo's to recuperate. After that came his arrest, trial and acquittal. After that he dropped out of public sight. So naturally, I was surprised to see him at "my" cafe.
Curiosity got the best of me. I slipped from the booth and made my way to his table. He had one hand curled around his drink and was listening intently to the speaker. There were always speakers at the cafe.
I waited for him to notice me, then said, "Hi, Professor Snape." It was lame, I know. But I really couldn't think of any other opening line.
"Isn't it a little unnecessary for you to call me Professor, Granger?"
"Well...I..."
"I think you had better rejoin your friends now," and he turned away from me.
"I'm not with my friends. I'm here by myself."
He looked at me again, then looked around the room as if he thought I were lying. "What are you doing here alone at night? Don't you know what kind of neighborhood this is?"
"I suppose I do. I live in this neighborhood."
He stared at me for a few moments, then said, "Have a seat, Granger. I'll walk you home. To make sure you get there in one piece."
I was too surprised to argue.
We didn't have any further conversation that night, even when he walked me home. At my door, I thanked him, and he nodded curtly and left.
A few days later he showed up at the cafe again, and I sat with him again. Once more he walked me home.
This happened a few more times, and slowly we started having brief, halting conversations. But over the next several months we fell into a routine of meeting at the cafe, having a drink and him walking me home.
One night we were walking along, and I had to ask, "You know how I told you about my job as a legal secretary? What do you do with yourself these days?"
"I'm on assignment for Abscondi & Modus."
"Really?" I answered, amazed. "But they're the largest defense and security firm in the country. They hire only the most skilled practitioners of Defense Against the Dark Arts!"
"You sound surprised they would hire me," he remarked dryly.
"No-no-no. That's not it. It's just--well I'm afraid I don't see you as a corporate drone, sitting behind a desk, gossiping over the water cooler, jockeying for the corner office..."
"And you would be right, because I'm not one of the drones. I'm called in to consult in special cases."
"Oh," I said. "You're a contract employee."
"You could call it that--if you insist on using some muggle phrase."
I smiled in the darkness. "Freelancing sounds more like you."
That was the kind of conversation we had in those days. Sharing facts about ourselves. Actually, I shared facts about myself, but I had to ask Severus about himself, draw out information bit by bit. That was his way. But our friendship developed, regardless . We never made plans to meet, but he always walked me home. Almost without my noticing it, I started looking forward to seeing him. And call me crazy, but I knew he liked seeing me, too. I'm not sure when I stopped liking him as a friend, and started to wonder if there might be a potential for more, but one night I was trying to decide what to wear to the cafe and I realized I was looking for an outfit that would make him notice me.
Not long after that, as we walked home, I worked up the courage to ask a question that had been bothering me for a long time.
"You know..." I hesitated. I still didn't know what to call him. He made it clear he didn't like Professor, but he didn't offer any alternatives. Severus seemed too personal, and Snape sounded disrespectful. Mr. Snape sounded too silly to even consider. "That night, in the shrieking shack...?" My voice trailed off, as I started to feel awkward.
He sighed. "Just say it, Granger."
"Okay. That night in the shrieking shack--we thought you died. We saw you die! What...how...?" I was wringing my hands now, embarrassed that I asked.
"Never mind, Granger, don't hurt yourself. I'll tell you." We were outside my building now, standing in the glow of the streetlights. "I'm sure you're familiar with the newspaper account of that night, but that's not what I remember. The last thing I remember is giving my memories to Potter before everything went black. But then the blackness passed, and I could see you three, from up above, standing over my body. Then you left. Right afterward, a couple wizards appeared. They stood over my body and one of them said a spell over me with their wand. After that, the blackness came back. When I regained consciousness, I was in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's under heavy Auror guard."
"Oh," I said, twisting my hands. "You see, I had no idea you weren't beyond help. If I had known..."
He snorted contemptuously. "As if you three would have known what to do."
"We were only students!" I said, stung.
"Obviously."
"Forget it. I should have never brought it up."
"But you did bring it up, and now I have a question for you. Weren't you in some intense adolescent romance with Ron Weasley until recently?"
My chin started to quiver then. Not because of the way he said it--I was used to his sarcasm. But his words opened a floodgate, and I couldn't hold back. Despite our differences, I had loved Ron, truly and deeply. Breaking up with him felt like cutting off my own right foot. I turned away, expecting some further cruel remark from Severus if he saw me crying. But instead, he pulled me to him, wrapped his arms around me and held me closely and stroked my hair, and let me cry out my grief and my pain and my disappointment. After I had my cry, I slumped against him, exhausted. It had been so long since I'd been held so closely. And I knew from the way he held me that he wanted to be more than just friends, too. But as he pulled away from me gently, I also knew he would never make the first move.
So the next time he walked me home, instead of waiting for him to do anything I kissed him.
It was the smartest thing I ever did.
We didn't date for very long before we decided to get married, and we only had my parents in attendance. Neither of us had friends to speak of, and we didn't see any need to make a big deal out of the wedding. We knew we loved each other, and that was enough for us.
A few months later, pale and in shock, I met Severus at the door as he came home from a job and told him I was going to have a baby.
"Don't tell me you're surprised," he remarked calmly, the shadow of a smirk on his face.
No, I wasn't surprised, it's just that I hadn't thought about children at all. But I was pleased that he was pleased. And in due time Inanna was born.