All characters still belong to JK.
A/N: Thanks to my lovely reviewers—Terrihomeschools, excessivelyperky, Gina CM, KatayaX, Looks Far woman, duj, notwritten, and debjunk
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St. Mungo's is too far away from our flat for me to walk, so Mum drives me there for my first treatment. Severus wanted to be there, but he had a good assignment lined up, one that would pay a lot of money. Besides, Mum doesn't have any patients scheduled this morning. That's why I asked her to bring me instead.
When we arrive at the Healing Arts Annex, Dr. Bella is nowhere to be seen, and only Dr. Griffin is there. I'm disappointed, but there's no help for it. He's brisk and efficient as he gives me the potions and performs the charms and enchantments, and it's not painful, exactly, but I'm exhausted when he's finished. Before Mum and I leave, I have to use the washroom, and she waits outside for me in the hallway.
I come out of the washroom and get the shock of my life. Right there, not five meters away from me, is Molly Weasley, and she's having a conversation with my mother! Mrs. Weasley nods when she sees me and Mum turns around.
"Fleur and Bill just had another baby," Mum says, catching me up with the conversation.
My insides clench with jealousy. It's not that I was thinking about having another baby with Inanna still so little, but it would have been nice to have had the choice. Then I feel ashamed of myself. I don't want to be a jealous, bitter person. I want to be an unselfish person. So I smile and congratulate Mrs. Weasley.
Then she asks the only logical thing she can. "What brings you two to St. Mungo's?"
I hesitate before I answer. "I'm here for treatments."
"Treatments? Whatever for?"
"It's called Artinem's syndrome. Only muggleborns can get it."
"Well I hope it's nothing too serious," she says.
Mum bites her lower lip and frowns. Her hands are shaking as she clutches her purse and I can see she's trying to compose herself. This surprises me--Mum always seems so strong all the time. "The healers say it's terminal," She mutters.
Mrs. Weasley's eyes widen in shock and she stammers, "But...but..." Then she smothers me in a hug. "Oh, Hermione, this is the worst news I could have possibly heard. I'm so sorry. Oh, you poor thing." Then she hugs Mum. "Is there anything I can do? If there's anything I can do, send me an owl. If you need me to make a meal, or baby-sit or anything...and I'm sure Ginny will want to help, too. Please don't hesitate to owl me."
I'm overcome by her kindness and I can feel the tears rising along with the lump in my throat. Without realizing it, over the last couple years I'd fallen into the habit of thinking about the Weasleys in a negative way. I suppose it was easier to stand the pain of separation from all of them if I remembered that Molly was bossy, and Arthur had that stupid muggle obsession, and how the twins were forever at their dumb practical jokes, rather than remember the good times and the thousand kindnesses they'd done for me.
Mrs. Weasley turns to Mum now. "Karen, are you free for lunch next Thursday? We can talk about...things...if you like."
I fully expect Mum to refuse politely, but instead, she says that's a wonderful idea and she'd love to have lunch with Molly!
"I'll owl you, then," Mrs. Weasley tells her before hugging us both again. Then she and Mum give each other one of those "mother" looks. I think I know what they're thinking about. During the War, I'd obliviated my parents' memories and sent them to Australia to keep them safe from the Death Eaters. But when the War ended, I found them and brought them back and restored their memories in time for them to attend Fred Weasley's funeral. The look they're giving each other now is the same one they gave each other then. Shared grief.
I'm rather tired and wobbly when we leave the hospital and find Mum's car. I slide into the front seat and as I buckle my seatbelt and snuggle back against the soft leather interior, I ask, "You're not really going out to lunch with Mrs. Weasley, are you?" Even though I was touched by her offer of help, I have no intention of taking her up on it.
Mum turns the ignition and checks her mirrors. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"
"Don't you think it's a little awkward for you to hang around with the mother of my ex-fiancé?"
"Not particularly. We do have other things to think about besides you and Ron."
"But it's weird! Why should she want to be friends with you again--now?"
Mum pulls out of the parking space and drives onto the road. She's quiet and frowning a little. Then, "Actually, Hermione, we never stopped being friends."
"What?!" I say as I sit bolt upright.
"Molly and I get together occasionally for lunch, or shopping..."
"You never told me!"
"I wasn't aware I needed your permission."
"Well...What does Dad think of you hanging around Mrs. Weasley?"
Mom gets a lopsided smile. "Well, honey, you see, it's kind of like this..."
An awful realization dawns on me. "Oh no. Don' t tell me. Dad is still friends with Mr. Weasley."
Mum shrugs. "It's no big deal, really. They go out for the odd drink. They do have the same hobby, you know, sort of. Arthur loves muggle stuff and your dad loves wizarding stuff. They have lots to talk about. But they take turns either going to a wizard pub or a muggle pub."
"Yeah, they would." I sound sarcastic.
"You know, Hermione, your father and I can be friends with whomever we choose."
"I know, but can't you find some nice muggle friends?"
Mum laughs. "We do have nice muggle friends and we see them a lot. But we also happen to like Molly and Arthur. So we see them too, sometimes."
Now we're idling at a stoplight. "Do you still wish I'd married Ron?" I ask quietly.
Mum frowns and bites her lower lip, which means she's thinking about my question. After a pause, she says, "Back when you two got engaged, your father and I were very happy for you. It seemed like you made a great couple. Maybe you would have been, if the War hadn't changed everything for your people. But then you all started fighting about how to make sure no other wizard ever attained the same power and following that Voldemort had..." She pauses to wave another driver to merge in front of her. Funny that Mum can say Voldemort without cringing. But then again, she doesn't have the memories that we do. She continues. "Some wizards believed that more laws and more controls would prevent another Voldemort. Other wizards felt uneasy at giving up any freedoms. You and Ron wound up on opposite sides of the issue. And towards the end...well, it was obvious you weren't happy anymore. If you'd tried to get married then, feeling like that, you would have made each other miserable. You two changed too much to be able to make each other happy anymore. But Severus does make you happy. And that makes me happy."
"All right. I can understand you liking the Weasleys. But I don't like you keeping secrets from me, either. It doesn't seem fair."
Mum snorts. "Fair? May I remind you that a few years ago your Father and I forgave you for obliviating our memories and sending us to Australia?"
"I had to do that," I respond, a little surprised--she sounds like she's criticizing me.
"Says who?" She challenges me.
"I had to protect you from Voldemort, or his Death Eaters. You would have been prime targets. So I did what was best for you."
"You did what was best for us?" She asks sarcastically. "That's a little presumptuous, don't you think? Who made you the judge of what was best for us? Or do you believe that muggles aren't smart enough to make their own decisions?"
"But Mum! What if they killed you? What else should I have done?"
"Oh, let's see. Perhaps you could have explained the dangers of our staying versus leaving. Then your father and I could have discussed it and come to a decision. Maybe we would have even agreed to your Australia plan. But it was rather high-handed of you to make that decision for us without our knowledge or input."
Now I'm very upset. "I did that for you!"
"Don't try to defend yourself. You were wrong to do it. Maybe instead of muggle studies, they ought to teach the ethics of dealing with muggles over at that Hogwarts of yours."
I look out the window for a while. Everything today has me drained, from the treatments to Molly and now I find out Mum is mad at me and I had no idea...
"I'm sorry," I say. "I really just wanted to do what was best for you."
"I know, sweetie, and that's why we forgave you. We understand you meant well. But stop and think. Would you want somebody to come along and erase all your memories of Inanna just because they thought it was for your own good?"
I never thought of it that way. "No, I suppose not."
"Remember this in the future--just because you can cast a spell on somebody doesn't mean you have the right to."
I nod. I know she's right. And we drive on in silence for some time.
"Uhm," Mum hesitates. "Ron's moved on, you know."
"Really?" I'm not sure I have the energy for what's coming next.
"Yes, some witch you went to Hogwarts with...the name escapes me...something with two colours..."
A name that's two colours...? "Do you mean Lavender Brown?"
"That's it--Lavender Brown!" She snaps her fingers then looks at me sideways. "That doesn't upset you, does it? I mean, it shouldn't. With you being married and all."
"No, not upset, just...startled, that's it." Yeah right--you bet I'm startled. Ron dated Lavender a long time ago, before he dated me. Then he dumped her and good riddance, as far as I was concerned. What could they possibly have in common now?
We pick up Inanna from the sitter, who happens to be a friend of Mum's. I'm exhausted when I get home and I go to bed to sleep off the treatment. Lucky that Inanna always goes down for a nap at this time. But I feel much better when we wake up and start dinner.
Besides having no intention of asking for Molly's help, I have no intention of telling Severus that we ran into her at the hospital. But when he asks over dinner how the treatment went I find myself spilling the whole story. He doesn't say anything and his expression doesn't change, and it makes me nervous.
"Isn't that odd?" I finally say.
"What's so odd about Molly Weasley offering to help? The Weasley's don't have horns and carry pitchforks."
"I know, but...I mean...you know...because Ron and I used to be engaged..." To my embarrassment, I'm stammering and Severus is just looking at me calmly. "But Ron is seeing Lavender Brown now," I add quickly. As if that makes a difference. But Severus still just sits there and looks at me with no change of expression.
"I'm afraid I fail to see what's so strange about that, either. Did you really expect him to avoid all female companionship for the rest of his life?"
"No," I mumble, but now I feel really silly. What did I expect my husband to do? Fly into a jealous rage? Oh sure, as if that would happen. Severus Snape would never see Ron Weasley as a threat--not to anything.
Maybe part of me, a very small and immature part of me, wants him to react. Maybe I want the chance to reassure him that I love him and that will reassure myself that I'm important to him. But Severus is extremely self-assured. Part of it is his innate personality. And I also understand that he's been trained to keep his emotions under iron control--it's what kept him alive back when he was spying for Dumbledore. To be honest, his self-confidence is one of the things I admire about him--most of the time. And yet, at other times, I wish he'd show some reaction like any normal husband would!
Or maybe the problem is with me. Deep down inside, I'm afraid that Severus won't find me attractive anymore without my magic. He's a bit prejudiced that way. He thinks magical people are superior to muggles. And now I'm sort of a muggle again.
I don't like to think about it too much. And besides, dinner is over, so I clear the table and wash the dishes by hand because these wizard flats don't come with dishwashers. Then I put Inanna to bed and when I come back out in the living room, Severus is standing over his cauldron, stirring with one hand and holding a parchment in the other and he's studying it closely.
It's funny. As much as he wanted to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts back in Hogwarts rather than Potions, he still took his assignment seriously. I know there are some wizards who would have done a slap-dash job teaching a subject they didn't really want, but not Severus. He never does anything by halves.
I join him at the table. "What are you working on now?"
He nods at the book lying open in front of his ingredients and I pick it up. The Implications of Magical Ancestry in the Efficacy of Magic. The chapter he has opened to is called "Conditions Peculiar to the Muggleborn".
"Is this potion for me?" I ask.
He nods curtly, reaches for a vial and tips a few drops into the cauldron. I can't help but smile. He does care. It's just that he shows it in practical ways, rather than waste a lot of words. I inch closer to him and we watch the cauldron simmer, then he re-checks the parchment before he puts it down.
He takes my hand. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" I've been going to bed early every night lately.
"No, I actually feel a little better tonight. I haven't been tired since my nap. Maybe the potion Dr. Griffin gave me is working."
He gives me a look, then--a look I haven't seen in a long time, since before I was admitted to St. Mungo's, before I got my diagnosis--and my breath catches. He pulls me closer and now his hands are on my body, burning into my skin, and his mouth is on mine. I can feel my pulses tingling as I curve into him with a sense of triumph--he hasn't lost his attraction to me--and he maneuvers me to the sofa. I was wrong before. He does let his guard down sometimes. Sometimes I know exactly what he's thinking, and sometimes he allows himself to simply be. It's during times like this, our most intimate moments.
My last coherent thought before I'm completely swept away is--whatever might happen in the future, at least I have him now.