Tarnished Souls

by Neena14

The Russian's betrayal forced the neko into seclusion and even three years behind their brutal seperation, their broken souls are further tainted by the resurfaced past memories. They meet again and rust some more. KaRe Yaoi. A masterpiece...

3. Chapter 3

Hey folks! Okay ever since I finished the second chapter, this next thing won't leave me the hell alone! I tried to suppress my urge and was successful but curse the fickle finger of fate! My Mocks are here! The send-ups you give before O levels Final Exams! And you must know that in papers my writing streak is always at climax!! Good for you huh?

Also here I want to tell you guys something that you should know about me. Okay, I'm trying to make it sound like too important but please, don't asphyxiate yourself by holding your breath. Here it goes; I think Ray, our very own adorable neko-jin, is the most beautiful person in the series of Bey Blade G-Revolution. Now hear me out before you start up with your POVs and arguments. I said beautiful here, not hot or cool or utterly drool worthy or a sex god like some other characters namely Kai and Tala and some other. It is beautiful, not handsome as well. (And yeah, wait for it, this thing does have a point here.)

So, the same thought is in this story too. Deal with it. I love Ray's exotic looks, his hair, his eyes, his pointy ears, his fangs, dress to such a point of adoration that I had a real crush on him while watching the episodes---okay I'll stop now before I say something else related to my highly dysfunctional love life which I really don't happen to have. But let's not dwell on that for now I would rather like your sanity intact.

This chapter had been inspired by the song 'Back to your Heart' by Backstreet Boys. Listen to this song people and die! Literally, I'm serious!! It's like the story has been created because of this heavenly song. Send blessings to my friend Tarnished-Iota for introducing it to me in the first place. Whenever I listened to this song, the only urge I had was to sit my ass down finish this chapter!! The second lyrics are from 'Sound the Bugle' by Bryan Adams. They are so OMG!!

Anyway, man, I'm impressed by the number of reviews and it makes me want to cry. Okay let's not go all sentimental and corny here, shall we? Good.

One more important thing, I wasn't all too sure when I started writing this story so I forgot to mention it earlier. There will be character deaths in this story and a hell lot of violence. If I'm not lazy as I am usually, I might re-edit the first chapter and the Warnings but seeing that I am usually lazy, don't count on it.

Important: Please do read the end A/N. And yes, please do read all my A/Ns. They are sometimes important (Keyword; sometimes).

Don't forget to R&R.

Enjoy!

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Chapter No. 3

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Turning off the engine of the small grey car, violet eyes turned to look at the dark apartments building on their left from behind the midnight blue hair. There was hardly any light escaping the drawn curtains, the inhabitants obviously twisting in their warm beds at this time of the night. Who would bother to leave their peaceful dreams at one in the morning to observe a tall figure stepping into the rain with no umbrella and making their way to the entrance carrying a plastic bag?

Tania let the lobby door automatically close behind her before making straight for the reception desk. Not caring that her coat was dripping the rain water on the clean tiles, she was somewhat surprised to see the old reception lady sitting rather recumbently in her chair reading a sci-fi magazine with thick glasses perched on the tip of her nose.

The old woman looked up when the dark haired person loomed before her, confusion in her eyes turning to relief, "Hello dear, you're here pretty late."

Tania offered a small smile, "You're not in bed either ma'am."

"Yes, well, I was kind of expecting you after what just happened."

The girl frowned as the elder straightened up, "What do you mean? What happened?"

"Aren't you here to see Ray?"

"Yes. He is okay, right?"

Those old eyes looked at her skeptically, "I was going to ask you that actually. But seems to me you are as clueless as me."

Worried now, Tania asked, "Isn't he here?"

"Oh yes he is, darling. Came in with his friend Lee and two cops-"

"Cops…!"

"Uh-yes dear, they carried him to his room. I was very worried I must say. When they came out, I asked them whether there had been some accident but they assured there was nothing to worry about."

"What hap-?"

"Ray fell down from the Western Bridge. You know the small one which goes over that canal near-"

"That's the one near Lepta Chi Square!"

"Exactly"

Tania fumbled with words, trying to string the information together. What was Ray doing so far from Czar Palace? Anxious, she turned again to the woman, "You said Lee was with him?"

"Yes, dear, Ray was unconscious and dripping all over the place. Lee seemed to insist on carrying him but he himself did not look so good. I'm just worried that Ray might catch a cold in this weather." The receptionist adjusted the glasses on her face before peering at Tania, "You weren't aware of this?"

"No…not at all…"

"They say a patrol boat pull them out of the water. Seemingly Lee jumped right after Ray dropped from the bridge. He, too, was drenched from head to feet."

"Why didn't they take Ray to a hospital or something?"

"Well, I think Lee did not want that. The cops told me that he assured them he could take care of everything now. I don't doubt Lee; after all, he did save Ray's life"

Tania nodded, "I'll be going to his room now. You do not need to wait for me"

"Yes, well I better tuck these old bones in some blankets. Night, darling"

Not wasting a second, the dark haired person went to the lift cabin on her left. Pressing the button to seventh floor, Tania tapped her foot impatiently, eyes fixed on the neon numbers above the metallic doors.

She had wanted to leave the restaurant early but things just would not let her. And with Ray's absence, it had been even more difficult to detach her from the closing once the guests had left.

Tania was informed about the whole messy incident after she had seen the broken plate and flabbergasted guests at the buffet table. Telling a waiter to clean the mess up and apologizing to the people, she had stormed the kitchen and demanded what had happened. The story told was baffling it self. One of the cooks told her about the chase between Ray and a redhead foreigner with Lee running after them. After getting only a few other details, the picture became clear.

She knew Ray had seen Tala and had fled from the gathering. But what shook her deeply was when a waiter told her that a bluenette suddenly also left the building, apparently after them. He had told her about distinct triangular marks on the guy's face and Tania realized the mocking complication fate had thrown at them in the night.

It was strange. She had only seen Kai from what Ray had told her briefly and from the photo snap the neko had found two weeks ago. Yet, the moment he was mentioned, she knew it could be no one then him.

She only hoped she was wrong. If not, this time perhaps it would not be so easy to bring Ray's feet under him.

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He sat there quietly. One leg slightly bent on the bed with the other foot on the carpeted floor. His hands were in his lap. They seemed relaxed. In fact his whole body imitated the calm before a storm; the muscles stress-free, face neutral, body silent. But the amber eyes were not. He looked as if in peace yet the inclement torrents of rage were only reflected in those inhuman orbs. They flicked around in their sockets coolly as they observed the angelic features of a young tanned face before them.

The raven head neko-jin laid right before him, tucked in bed, dried and changed into a pair of clean trousers. The golden eyes were closed in unconsciousness and the breathing was slightly heavy but not too much to be concerned about. The blanket was pulled up till the chest, leaving only the bare shoulders uncovered. The raven hair cascaded down the mattress onto the floor with the front locks still a bit damp from the warm shower. The skin was unusually pale and so were the lips with a small light blue mark on one side of the face.

Lee smirked at his childhood friend.

Ray was a beautiful creature. His striking looks could bring half of the population on their knees for one single touch. Leaving puberty behind, he matured into an exotic teenager with looks some might kill to get; the strong physique with a light body mass and curved angles. And with the slight cattish features, all added perfectly to the overall attractive aura. There was no room left for argument to continue. In fact there wasn't much to argue about in the first place. Ray was no doubt a beautiful creature.

And this was what Lee's lust craved for…

He wanted Ray. He wanted him badly.

Ever since being introduced to the younger boy as a child, Lee used to look forward for the right time when he would claim the neko as his. He had befriended the shy kid when he came to their village first time and had become a strong shield for him against almost everything. His protectiveness for Ray was common and known and he remembered when once the raven head had innocently questioned about it before hugging him for being so caring. They used to be inseparable and an item the villagers used to admire for being so young and chivalrous.

Those were the good times…

Nothing changed between them much or at least that was what Ray used to think. For Lee, though, that was another matter. May be it was his nature since he started to walk; he was very possessive about the things he owned. And for him, Ray happened to be an item on sale which he wanted to claim as his own. At the mere age of ten, he had started to lean more and more towards the raven head then one could in a simple friendship. And at twelve, it had developed into something even more.

But Ray had been young and clueless at that time. He could not be called naïve for he was intellectual and inquisitive for his age. In fact he was very cautious about what went around him. At that time, it was Lee who was unsure of the changes in his body and the liking his heart and mind had taken for the golden eyed boy. He settled down with Ray being closer to him than ever.

It ended, though, as Ray turned twelve. That year many things changed. It seemed fate was having a laugh of her own. Things had been so perfect that one could hardly ask for more. Lee had Ray in his home at the village with his grandfather as the chief. His family business was prospering and whenever he had to go on some trip to Hong Kong or other parts of China, Ray always had been the one accompanying him. But happiness could not last forever. It does not take too much of time to crash down in to nothingness from the high cloud of euphoria.

For instance, near the neko's birthday, the news swept through the village like the breath of a deadly omen. Ray's mother's dead body had been found nearby in the suburbs, floating down the stream…

From that point, everything could not have been more cataclysmic. After all the years hard work of keeping his crush safe, past plastered its ugly face in the most gruesome way in the neko's way. To say Ray was broken was an understatement. However he did not resort to cry or pour his heart out. But he went along with something that made Lee hate the turn of events even more.

The raven head locked himself in his room, refusing meal, water or company, and it was past two weeks when he stepped out in the sunlight again. Lee did not get what the distress was all about since when Ray arrived to his village at the age of five, the villagers had been told by his uncle that he was an orphan. The lion knew that his friend's mother left him but maybe seeing the dead corpse after seven years was too much for Ray.

Just when Lee thought things had settled after two months or so, it was decided that the atmosphere and the current dilemma was too much for the little twelve year old neko-jin and thus Ray left the village.

Lee was furious. His fury was directed toward Ray's paternal uncle who had given the advice and to his shock, Ray agreed, though his reason was different. According to the raven head, he wanted to sail out to see the distant lands now that he was a bit grown up. And his wish was fulfilled when his uncle decided upon taking him to a long trip to Europe where the family hotels were. Ray could not have been happier, yet for once, Lee was not.

For the lion, it was an indirect hit to keep his prize away from him and being the possessive person he was, it angered him that Ray was going off without him.

From then on, their relation kept going downhill for when Ray did return, he moved to live in Hong Kong, finishing his studies there. Lee, of course, moved out too, making a valid excuse of handling business. A year went off and he was happy to know that Ray was back under his eye. This yet again changed when the younger received a half scholarship to Tokyo High School.

His mother being half Japanese herself, it was agreed by the elders that it was a wonderful idea that Ray could finish his education there. Lee had different ideas. But this time, the matter settled down easily as he suggested that since Ray was not even fourteen, he should need a careful watch and guard in the alien land and since Lee was two years older, he offered to move along with the golden eyed neko.

If only I had voted against him going there, things would have been totally different at now. Ray would have probably been mine.

The ebony head gritted his teeth as amber eyes stared at the teen sleeping silently. Extending a hand, he stroked the bruised cheek with a feather light touch. If Lee had thought that now being away from China, he would have all the time alone with the object of his lust, he had another thing coming.

Hiwatari…

The bluenette had come into the scene and exited after stealing his Ray like it was all meant to be. He, Lee, had stood there, baffled, when it all started. He remembered how he had return to Tokyo after a couple of weeks' business trip to find out the gossiping about the new perfect couple. He had refused to believe what had happened. It was agreeable that Ray and that snobbish aristocrat had been school mates together for quite some months but a proper relationship, for Lee, seemed totally out of hand.

Possessive, he was. But envy seemed the stronger sentiment. Not that the lion was not aware of it from before, but to think the stuck up two toned haired teen would cause him such hatred was new to him. Yet, Lee did nothing to prevent the feeling to grow.

Ray had befriended the Soviet almost immediately as he settled in Japan. He had been given a proper one person apartment from the academy while his relatives had been able to aid his every need. Lee had taken his place at a small suite in one of the hotels his family business had some liaisons and links with. The peacefulness of that new beginning for Lee was ruined when the bluenette had entered the picture.

The neko had at many events recognized his, Lee's, lust for him but Ray had always dismissed it either taking it as a tease or subtle refusal. Somehow Lee knew Ray was not fond of his manly cravings or the fact that he was always into one night stand offs. True, it had always been Ray whom the lion wanted to be the first one to bed. But when it came to sexual needs, Lee never denied his body.

Ray sold his virginity off to that bastard Hiwatari and Lee could not have hated him more for that. It angered him that he had not been given the ultimate chance to deflower the raven head himself. How dare the Russian take his right to claim the neko as his? How dare he rest in his bed with his desire, sleeping peacefully with the neko drawn close to him? Lee had craved for Ray's soft touch so how dare Hiwatari strip his chance away from him?

Lee smirked. But he got what was coming for him though. In a very painful way too…

It had not been too long, may be somewhat half a year and the couple broke apart. Or rather, they were forced to break away from their sickening romance. Lee had made sure of it.

Ray was making a mistake of his life. He knew it then. Ray should have never left him to go for the rich freak. Lee did not deserve such degradation. They had been friends for so long, Lee had always been there for him, so how could his rightful reward not be given access to him after all that he had done for the younger neko-jin? He was determined to own Ray as his and only his. And there were no obstacles he would have hesitated to encounter then.

"And now, after all, I'll make you mine, Ray" The lion whispered softly, fingers brushing longingly against the cool skin, loving the smooth perfection, "You'll soon see the error in your ways and I'll make sure you compensate for the past suffering you gave me."

Success had been his three years ago when Ray broke up with Kai but it was only partial since the former neko left without a trace. Lee had tried his best to hunt down the younger one's location with his passport and ticket but it had been a waste of time and energy. Ray seemed to have disappeared into abyss. And Lee was not happy with that. Not at all…

But things changed, almost miraculously when Ray made it back to his village. The gods had granted him a second chance and Lee was not going to lose that one. True, it had officially pissed him off when, after regaining some financial stability, Ray had moved out of Lee's apartment in Hong Kong but still, the ebony head did not have much to complain about. Ray had healed from the first heart break or not, Lee did not know but it remained clear, that though the raven head was slightly aware of his lustful antics, he remained close by, needing his companionship in time after being isolated for so long.

"Though tonight," Lee growled again, low and meaningful, "Things have changed again, my dear Ray. But don't worry…don't worry because this time, there is no way I would let anyone deprive me of you."

He bent forward, face inches apart from the sleeping one, his own warm breath reflecting back on his skin as he whispered quietly to the other, "I won't stop till I have tasted and felt every inch of your sinfully delicious body and soul. Tonight there won't be any failure as I'll claim you as rightfully mine because that is what you are…"

Nothing was going to stop him. He had not dwell upon carrying any practical steps in taking the raven head anytime soon but tonight had changed many things. Lee would not let Ray return to Kai. The bluenette's mere presence in the evening had shaken the very foundations of Ray's defense and mentally, he was nothing but fragile now. And Lee was going to make certain it was for his advantage.

He had forced the two lovers apart once and he was not afraid to do it again. But he wouldn't have to do it like the last time. No, this time he had other plans. Once he had Ray, he will make sure that there would remain no thought of or any other crimson eyed bluenette ever in the neko's mind and heart.

Thud, thud…

Lee's eyes narrowed and he rose quietly from the bed at the sound of someone knocking at the front door. Turning to the clock piece, his displeasured frown deepened when he saw the time. Who would come at this hour?

Lee let out a snarl in annoyance as he realized the probable answer. Before he could even reach the hallway, the apartment door slowly opened and a dark haired female stepped into the barely lit corridor. She closed the door behind without making a sound and turned to meet his angry stare though her own calm did not falter.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing but for your inquiry, I'm here to see Ray." Tania replied quietly.

One thing she had learnt over the time knowing the obnoxious teen before her was never to trigger his fury more when he was pissed off. And certainly never to talk back in a raised voice because that always led to a heated verbal fight between them. And at the moment, Tania was in no mood for either of the aforementioned.

Lee snorted in distaste, "Always pretending to be the concerned one. No doubt Ray takes it easy on you." Turning his back to the older girl, he walked back to the small living place, across which stood the bedroom door, "He's sleeping at the moment"

Hanging her coat on the side hanger, Tania crossed the threshold and peeked in the room before turning to the ebony head, "Lee, what happened?"

The said Chinese scrutinized her in distrust before snapping, "Hiwatari is what happened. Or are you telling me you have no idea?"

"Stop being a pain Lee. What were Kai and Tala doing there?"

"Shouldn't you be the one knowing that? You were after all the Staff Coordinator. Wasn't that bastard's name on the guest list?" Lee sneered.

"The restaurant was opened for other people too and no, you very well know I did not have any such list-"

"Well since you do know what happened, why are you asking me?"

"Ray fell down the bridge!" Tania hissed at his infuriating attitude, "And I want to know why and how?"

"Why? That's because of Hiwatari. How? Well, he fainted." He retorted back. "And now that you know the fun facts, you can show yourself out"

Violet eyes narrowed at the open yet very normal disrespect and Tania took a long breath to calm her anger down. She hated dealing with the guy. "I was hoping to talk to Ray and also, I came to give this to him. He left this at Czar" She raised the plastic bag in which the neko's coat and wallet were neatly placed.

"Where the hell did you get his locker keys?"

"Ray trusted them to me for safe keeping." She replied coolly. Before Lee could utter a word, she dropped the bag on the couch and proceeded to enter the bedroom, uninvited. Already furious at the interruption from his musings about his crush, Lee further bristled as the twenty year old went to check upon her younger friend.

That would not do. Like Hiwatari, he was not at all fond of the girl because no matter what Ray defended her with, in Lee's eyes, she could be nothing more than another person taking his Ray's heart away. She was very close to him and every now and then Lee envied her for that. She had that serene aura about her which he knew drew his friend even closer to her and the trust she had gain from Ray, Lee admit, he had not even been granted that.

Arms hanging loose at the side, Tania stood few feet away from the sleeping Chinese, silently noting the barely prominent twitch of the closed eyelids. Taking a step closer, she placed her hand on the teen's forehead before gently grabbing his wrist and hand. She could feel the intensity of the glare presented to her from the doorway but at the moment she could not care less. Ray had a fever.

"He's sick."

"I know that." Lee answered through clenched teeth.

"Did you give him any medicine?"

"Stop bossing me around Anderson, I know what I have to do!"

"What the hell is with you Chan? Why can't you, for once, act caring enough and stop biting other peoples head off?"

Amber eyes further narrowed. He did not like the girl's tone, "You and I both know that tonight has been a very rough one so be a bit more understandable and get your face out of here!"

Refraining from cussing out a few well chosen curses, she turned away sharply from the seething yellow but stopped in mid track as her own sight caught a sealed medicine bottle and a clear glass of water sitting innocently on the side table. Not contemplating what her conscience had conjured up, her mouth fell open as she read the prescription written on the glass container.

"Where…did you get this from Lee?"

The said person who had his gaze trained on the raven head's face, turned acutely at the disbelieving tone and mentally cursed at the predicament. Oh shit…

Tania gaped at him in surprise, the bottle still in the palm of her hand, "Barbiturate and morphine…Lee, these are 500mg sleeping drugs! Do you even know how strong they can be?! Why does Ray have them here at his place?"

Lee turned away with a slight look of indignation, "They are good for calming nerves, okay?"

"They wreck your whole system!!"

"What the hell do you know?!"

"Oh believe me, I know!" Tania gritted her teeth, not caring for being so vocal. "Were you planning on giving these to Ray?!"

"These are my medications and I know how to use them!"

"Are you insane?! Don't you know how badly Ray's immune system reacts to drugs? How could you even think of-?" Reality dawned upon her and Tania faltered in her shouts, "Y-you weren't going to drug Ray, were you Lee?"

Lee forced down the growl and gave her an intimidating look. Running a hand down his face, he retorted back, "Firstly, these are not drugs that you think they are and secondly, it would depend on the state of his mind whether I would or not give him something to at least force him to sleep calmly for the rest of the night"

Judging the random yet civilized explanation, another string of doubt latched around Tania's heart. Lee hardly ever gave her a straight answer. "I…I don't really think he would be needing medicine…especially not morphine…or any barbiturate…"

"I told you before and I'm not going to say it again, stop telling me what to do and what not to!"

Tania narrowed her orbs before letting out a small sigh. She respected Lee somewhat since Ray had asked her to as he had known him his whole life but she did not trust him one bit and had a hell lot of reservations about the way Lee always had his eyes on Ray. But now, hesitating for a second, she replaced the bottle back on the side table yet she could not help sensing the sudden pang of uncertainty in her chest.

Arms folded angrily, Lee watched as the girl slowly bent towards the raven head and caressed his cheek gently before whispering something along the lines of 'Get Well'. Patting the hair on the top, she straightened up before walking out of the bedroom and closing the door behind. Turning to give him a stern look, she said,

"I will come back in the morning to check on him."

Lee sneered, "Don't bother-"

"I'm not asking you Lee."

"And I'm not being modest. Do not come, got it? You think you're the only one, who knows what's good for him, don't you? Don't kid yourself around Anderson. You're just someone he picked up when he was lonely and wanted to have a chat with. You can never have anything like we have."

"I'm not even trying to" Tania hissed back.

"Good! I don't want to see your face anymore. I have enough for a night. So get out already!"

Fuming internally, Tania turned on her heels and went for the door. This wasn't the first time she and Lee had taken out all the heat on a fight. And the last time they had an argument; Ray and Lee had not been on speaking terms for a week. And it had hurt the raven haired neko a lot. So at the moment, she did not wish to be much a burden on, surprisingly, any of the two.

However while exiting the apartment, she looked over her shoulder, eyes meaningful, "Don't you dare do anything stupid," And closed the door with a small click.

The urge of breaking something at the peak, Lee snarled in his throat before forcefully punching the wall, not registering the small crash of glass and wood as a picture frame on his right fell to the floor. His labored breathing filled the hush of the apartment and he turned with a beastly growl and went to drink a glass of water before returning to the bedroom.

In spite of everything, his fury dissipated immediately as he entered the chamber. A smirk lit up his face when a small moan came from the younger teen and he quietly locked the door, hiding the key in his pocket. There were not going to be any more interruptions. Ray was going to be his…

Ray groaned slightly before biting his lips. His limbs and body felt like lead. Forcing the sleep away, he opened his eyes, blinking at the darkness before closing the heavy lids again. Without even turning around, he knew where he was yet he could not figure out the strange cold surrounding him. Loud uncouth voices had roused him from his restlessness but now the silence pressing against his senses seemed unbearable as well.

Lee's smirk widened as Ray let out a silent shuddering pant and somewhat twisted in his bed. Stretching his hand, Lee brushed the tips of his finger on the bruised skin of the other's face, reveling into the small moan escaping from those pliant lips. Slits of gold appeared before fluttering shut again. Bending forward, Lee whispered, "Ray…"

The said person let out the first word that came to his tongue, "…Kai…"

The lion pulled back immediately and turned to glare into nothingness. Fuck you, Hiwatari!

Ray finally regained his consciousness, scrutinizing his surroundings gradually. Making out a silhouette on his bed, he spoke softly as he recognized the figure, "Lee…?"

The ebony head met the confused golden orbs, his own eyes softening just a bit before placing a hand on Ray's face, "You're awake. Thank gods."

The raven head grimaced at the strange sick feeling in his stomach, "I…I don't feel so good"

"You have a fever, Ray" Lee said, lightly caressing the skin he had been craving to touch ever since he had met the teen so many years ago.

"…Fe-fever? Why? What happened?"

Raising a brow, the other spoke, "You don't remember?"

Ray tried sitting up but the hand which had been on his face went to his chest, preventing him to get up just then.

"You don't remember falling off the bridge?"

Golden eyes blinked in confusion before the words repeated in his mind and the earlier event replayed before his sanity. The Ball…the dances…a redhead…his lover…the diamond ring…the chase… He remembered it. He remembered it all. The confrontation on the bridge…his allegations…Lee intervening……and……Kai's slap…then……he fainted…

Kai…

Lee watched as the light went out of those pools of pure gold, obviously because of what had happened. He frowned when Ray turned away, no doubt to hide the inevitable tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. But Lee had seen them. Making an annoyed sound, he tried to turn the younger back to face him, "Don't!"

Ray jumped slightly and looked up at his friend; mentally shivering at the glare he was given.

"Don't you dare cry because of that bastard, got it Ray? I don't even want him in your mind at the moment. He is a fucking bastard. Don't pretend you didn't see it coming!"

Ray swallowed back his tears, not able to move, mainly because of the fearsome hatred in the other's eyes and mainly because he felt too tired. Trying to gain some control over his emotions, he took a deep breath to relax his constricted throat and turned away again to the window on the left of his bed.

I-I wish Tania was also here…

"What! I'm not good enough for you anymore, is it?!"

The neko gasped slightly at the harsh tone. Did he just think out loud?

Lee granted him a disgusted look before deciding to move off the bed.

Ray, despite the throbbing in his temples, lunged forward, grabbing his friend by his arm, "Lee I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

The lion mentally smirked. Emotional blackmailing always worked with the raven head. He was just too nice sometimes.

When he didn't get a response, Ray sat up completely though his stiff back protested against the movement. He partially realized his chest was bare and felt the coolness of the room tingle his skin. "I didn't mean to offend. I just…I don't think I'm thinking straight…it just came out…"

The lion turned to him and spoke in a whisper, "Apology accepted. Just lie down, Ray"

Amber eyes watched with interest as the neko did what he was told, all the while trying to relax his body and placing a hand on the eyes in a tired gesture. Resuming his spot on the bed, Lee reached for the bottle on the table, breaking the seal off easily and pulling two cylindrical white tablets out in the palm of his hand, "Here, take these"

Ray looked through his fingers at the medicine held out to him and shook his head in no once, "Thanks"

"Ray, take them, now."

The neko gave him a tired look before putting an effort to sit while leaning on his elbows. Without even asking what he was given and without even complaining about the eventual side effects he might feel afterwards, he accepted the tablets, dropping them in his mouth before taking a gulp of water in his dry throat. Handing the glass back, Ray's vision became distorted again and he fell back to the pillows, heaving slightly. He could feel the fever now and was about to ask for a shirt when another ache went through the back of his head.

Lee smiled to himself when Ray closed his eyes again, swallowing now and then to soften the continuous dryness in his throat. Just watching the neko lying, vulnerable, before him induced his temptation more and he edged closer to him. He almost cooed in enticement when Ray let out a small pant, rubbing his temples,

"Do these cure head aches too?"

Smirking, the elder teen finally leaned forward, "Perhaps not"

Removing his hand from his face at the sly tone, Ray jumped out of his skin when he found Lee's face inches away from his, "Lee, what-?"

His breath was cut short when two lips clasped down upon his forcefully, silencing any other word he might have wanted to speak. Before he could react in any way, hands grabbed his wrists and brought them at the sides of his head. Ray's body lurch forward at the shocking gesture but he was forced down when the ebony head climbed on the bed, straddling his hips in the process.

Lee could feel the initial shock giving way to even more surprise when he plunged his tongue deeply into the sweet cavern of the younger one's mouth, licking the lips and the teeth. He opened his eyes just in time to see the wide golden ones closing shut as Ray futilely tried to push him off despite his legs and arms being useless at the moment.

That was quite unnecessary. Ray might be strong otherwise but with his lithe body, a killing headache, fever and no energy, Lee was at advantage here when it came to power. Not to mention, there were drugs flowing through the very veins of the neko with the sudden adrenaline rush. They both might be fighters but the lion with his extra muscles, height and stocky structure could easily hold the flailing limbs of his comrade.

Ray could not believe this. He could not believe this was actually happening. He breathed painfully as Lee pulled away only to nuzzle his face with his own. He could hardly struggle with his hands pinned down and the heavy body keeping him still. He clenched his orbs shut once more when his lips were assaulted again. By the time Lee was finished, he had sheen of tears covering his eyes as he looked up in utmost disbelief at the person he had claimed his friend for so long.

"…L-Lee…?"

"Hush. You don't have to worry Ray. You'll be okay." Letting go of the wrists, Lee noticed as they weakly twitch, trying to move yet failing miserably. The drugs must be taking effect now.

The teen tried to move, to retaliate in any form but simply could not. Ray's body refused to cooperate. He felt his senses flowing out of his control until he could hardly focus let alone raise his arms or legs. "Lee…what did you do…?"

The said person smirked. Placing hands on either side of the Ray's stomach and bending forward, Lee bit the ear lobe before whispering against the sensitive skin of the neck, "I did what I should have done three years ago, my dear Ray. And I'm going to complete it now."

With that he latched down, his fangs marring the once smooth skin and tearing the flesh from there. Lee licked the incoming blood released from the bite as Ray cried out loud, his hands kneading all the skin hungrily. He could feel the muscles beneath him becoming taut with tension as he sucked the new wound hardly. Two hands pushed limply at his broad shoulders but it was barely registered, his mind more occupied with the gasps and whimpers emitting from the young neko-jin.

"Lee…s-stop…!" Ray arched his back when calloused fingers traced his nipples in hurried circles before proceeding to caress his navel. He didn't understand. Why couldn't he force the other off? Ray knew he was capable of fighting then why couldn't he even move? Panic registered in his mind when the intruding fingers curled around the elastic ring of his trousers, "STOP!"

The ebony head raised his eyes to the horrified golden pair, "Why?" Lee purred, "Don't you want this, Ray?"

"N-no…no, Lee you know I don't. Stop it before-" Ray hissed as his hips were grasped in a bruising grip under his only clothing. The cold hands tightened there painfully before moving to caress the globes of flesh. A shocked cry left his lips when fingers dug into the cleft in between, a nail scraping against the tight hole where no one had touched him in years, "L-LET GO!"

Queer excitement ran southwards in Lee when Ray tugged nimbly at his hand before opening his eyes to look at him with a mixture of fear, humiliation and somewhat anger. They closed up again, a single tear escaping the boundaries as Lee squeezed his ass once more before moving his hands to settle on the creamy thighs. The lion smirked when the raven head let out a final snivel and the struggles died altogether. Knowing that Ray had been induced into complete submission due to the drugs, he extracted his hands from beneath the trousers to force the long legs apart.

Ray panted slightly. He felt lightheaded as if he was floating in mid air, his body system shut down. But the hard touches were still being registered even in such a state. He tried to scream when his legs were separated yet all he could do was to shake his head in extreme disbelief. Was this really happening to him? Was Lee actually going to…force himself on him?! He opened his golden eyes pleadingly at the elder who now sat between his spread limbs, hands both on his torso, never ceasing their stroking, the sharp nails scraping the tanned skin now and then.

No, please. Make him stop, someone… "…please…don't…"

Lee bent over the shaking teen who was trying desperately to gain some willpower to throw him off. He leaned on the smooth chest, loving the soft feeling before tracing his lips along the jaw line in fluttery butterfly kisses. Ray threw his head back in a painful cry, his body trembling into pieces as Lee kissed the love bite he had given before below the ear,

"Why, Ray? Look at you; you're so hot right now, so sweet and vulnerable, shaking like a leaf. You can't begin to imagine how teasing you look with clothes partially on, your hair sprayed on the pillow like that, lips pink and swollen. How can you expect someone not to take you right this second?"

Ray's eyes widened at the shameless tone of voice describing his helplessness. Lee's eyes made contact with his own ones and fear swathed his heart at the lust and dominance swimming in them. Lee was right above him, like a predator, waiting to finish what was remained undone. How had he never noticed this before?

"You have always been a cock tease Ray and still are. I want to fuck you now; long and hard." Lee was enjoying the waves of fright and dread emitting from the younger under him. Ray was scared of what was happening to him. He knew he was going to be taken yet there still remained the part where he was refusing to believe this predicament was taking place. Well then, Lee just had to erase that doubt, "You look as if you did not expect this, sweetheart"

The neko gaped at him, eyes horrified and lips parted in terror. Lee was sitting there between his legs, touching him all the while, staining him with his fingers. Horror-struck and cold to the bone, Ray wasn't even fighting back, "Lee…"

"It hurts, Ray" Lee pouted at him slightly, "It hurts to love you so much. I wanted you for so long yet you never even gave me a second thought. Why? You went for that Soviet instead. Don't you know how much that hurt me, Ray?"

The said teen swallowed, tears gushing out of the corners of his eyes now, his body immobile as he stared into those insane yellow orbs.

Lee's pretending sulk changed into a smirk as he bent down till his nose touched the other, making sure their sight met before he whispered again. He was rock hard by just watching the fearful orbs of the beautiful teen he knew he was going to have, "It's all going to change. I've been with you for so long. I'd never thought I would have to use power but I think I mistook my own goodness. Now, however, I won't let you escape again. No, Ray, I won't let that foreigner take you away from me, ever. No one will!"

Beads of perspiration cascaded down his forehead and temples, hardly because of the fever now. The words shook Ray and he remained frozen to the spot when the ebony head drew back to settle between his legs again. He could only protest weakly, sobbing lightly, when his trousers were yanked off in a swift motion. Ray lay completely exposed, naked, for the other like inviting Lee to welcome him to his body. The irony was that he never wanted the invitation to be sent in the first place.

Lee ran his eyes slowly over the shivering body, drinking in the smoothness of every feature, before locking his lusty hues with the frightened pair which seemed to be screaming on their own. Not even blinking once, he sat back on the bed before taking Ray's left leg and hooking it around his waist, enjoying the panicked look he received. Lee tore off his shirt and had to slide forward when the raven head started thrashing and shouting again.

"NO! Help!! Please, someone-UMPH!"

Raven bangs swung from side to side as Ray tried to dislodge the hand on his mouth, his view blurred because of the never stopping tears leaking down from his eyes. His nails scratched at the limb preventing him to speak, trying uselessly, with no real energy, to break free. This wasn't happening. He wouldn't, he couldn't let someone do this to him. He couldn't just submit like that.

Ray's golden eyes screwed shut and he screamed into the hand, the sound muffled, as a finger entered through him. The intrusion was unexpected and he threw his head back, panting miserably as the digit curled inside before a second one was added.

Lee watched the changes on Ray's face from terror and panic to torture and pain as he revolve his fingers around the dry ring of muscles, his other hand opening the fly of his pant and sliding them down. Preparing the neko only partially, he slid back before grabbing Ray's chin and claiming his lips with his own.

Ray cried in the forceful kiss. He was dizzy and his body was numb badly with aches yet he could feel the other's arousal pressing against his groin. He opened his eyes in hopes of catching his former friend's, now his tormentor, attention. He didn't want this. Lee couldn't just do this to him. This was wrong and must be stopped. But before a single word could be uttered in negotiation, his voice was lost as a shriek of pain tore from his dry throat when Lee intruded him without a warning.

The neko-jin had experienced pains in all kinds before. He was very well aware of the sting and the eventual soothing numbness. He knew punishments at their worst and had felt them as well. But never anything had torn his mind away like this before.

The intrusion was hard. It hurt! It felt as if his insides were ripped apart without a second's consideration. But that seemed just the beginning of the anguish hysteria, for Ray felt his soul scream into oblivion when Lee moved against the tattered abused tissues, barely slowing down for a moment before continuing his thrusts with even more force and without granting any reprieve to the writhing person beneath him.

Ray gathered the sheets in his hands, fisting them tightly as his body rocked from the assaults laid upon it. The tears accompanied the cries leaving his lips, his back arching in pain when his hips were grasped inhumanely, dragging his self closer to the elder. His knuckles were white yet he tauten his grip on the white fabric when teeth brushed against the pulsing artery on his collar bone.

Lee, never faltering in his thrusts, nibbled the flesh lightly and lapped it with his tongue, collecting blood there before biting on it, once more leaving a mark on Ray to remember. Finishing his master work he pulled back, groaning loudly in appreciation when Ray keened loudly as he hit his prostate. Lee knew he could not hold much more; Ray was just too god damn tight.

With a final deep plunge, Lee reached the culmination point and orgasm into the lithe body, his mind taking flight at the loud scream and basking into the ultimate naked helplessness at Ray's vulnerability. For moments Lee sat on his knees, closed amber eyes facing the ceiling, his mouth opened as he heavily panted in the quick wake of the climax before finally looking down.

Ray was a mess. He bit his teeth together at the aches running through his veins, trembles flowing in his parted legs. His fingers had long lost any feeling as his fisted hands cut out all the circulation, not willing to loosen up even then. Raven hair were spread in every direction, his chest quivering upwards and back as shuddering breaths left his lungs.

Smirking at the accomplishment, Lee pulled out slowly before shifting next to the almost unconscious teen and lying down beside him. His sadistic smile widened when Ray whimpered at his fingers' mere brushing against the sore neck. Bringing his lips on the tanned cheek, he gently gave it a sickening kiss before wrapping his arms around the trembling waist,

"You're mine," Lee whispered, bringing his sobbing comrade closer, "…only and only mine."

Quivering eyelids gradually parted to reveal teary golden hues as they stared out at the thunder and lightening. Ray closed them tiredly again when the lips previously on his face moved to his neck, putting on the final and third mark there. The last wasted tear cascaded down, stopping only partially at the edge of the cheek before falling onto the soft pillow under, vanishing into nothingness even before making contact with the textile material.

Just like his whisper; ringing out yet melting away into the oblivious void before anyone could notice,

"…No…"

---

The rain had stopped but only momentarily that was for sure. The continuous dull yet quick flashes of light illuminating the thick grey clouds told a tell-tale of the incoming storm. The wind was calm but chilly nonetheless, as if in a resting phase before reaching its full might for the next imminent hours. Yet the weather somehow did not trouble the lone figure standing tall on the small balcony, the edge of the long white scarf fluttering slightly now and then.

Kai had his arms folded and eyes closed as he stood near the railing, looking as if reveling on the cool breeze brushing against his pale skin. He gradually opened his lids to view the sight below him; an extensive garden, a small yet beautifully sculptured fountain with those lush rose bushes around it. A lovely sight to calm a soul down yet its emptiness drew away the relaxing aura, stinging the atmosphere like that of a graveyard; a cemetery.

Similar to him…mind serene yet the heart ached in deep agony…

He looked away to train his eyes on the wooden railing yet in reality, the clouded orbs were already lost in the distant vivid memories of the past. What had happen? Was it a dream…? Some fatuous fantasy a mourning heart had yearned for, in hopes of allaying the anguish it had been experiencing for so long…??

Oh, how he wished that would have been the case…

A sharp pain in the back was a quick manner to return him back to the present and he bit his tongue to control the gasp releasing from his lips. The bluenette blinked away the sudden unexpected moist clouding his eyes and unfolded his arms to clutch the railing with both hands. The sting dissipated almost immediately but left a severe throbbing nevertheless.

Bastard…

If it had been assumed that his rather feverish exit at dinner from the ball room had gone unnoticed by a certain family senior of his, it was a fool's dream. Kai had not return to the dance party to the company of guests awaiting his come back. Instead he had simply taken retreat to his temporary room in the villa, lost from the evening encounter and left alone to curse the fucked up fate for once again showing how hell felt even when alive.

He felt a feather light touch caressing his dry lips yet Kai knew he was imagining it for his fingers were still grasping the barrier limiting his fall from the balcony anytime soon.

Voltaire was livid. Kai had detained from any disobedience which might incur the elder's displeasure for a long time. He had learnt it the hard way that resistance was suicidal and masochistic so why bother. Yet tonight, his long forgotten will power and defiance had returned at the sight of those golden eyes. And he had to pay the price.

He had come home and retired to his sleeping quarters despite Tala's otherwise offers. He had changed into his usual attire in the same hazy state of confusion and had proceeded to just lie on the bed in a kind of stupor, his mind refusing to accept that he had finally seen his lover after three painfully long years. Of course, curse the fickle finger of fate, peace, even if it was tortuous in its own way, seemed something he was not to be granted even when alone in his room.

His grandfather returned and demanded to see him immediately. No doubt the silent disregard or refusal to do so tick Voltaire off and he invited himself to add salt on Kai's open wounds. He had shouted, cursed and threatened to break his legs but had been unable to gain any reaction from the unresponsive teen and thus had gone for extreme physical measures without a second's hesitation.

Kai had been thrown off his bed before been grabbed by his hair and screamed in the face for almost ruining the engagement ceremony but when he failed to counter in any way, Voltaire took another approach after seeing the hollowness in the his orbs. Hitting the nail directly on the head, he mocked Kai about the only thing that was tearing his mind apart at that moment; Ray's eventual denial.

Voltaire knew his grandson and he knew him well. After seeing his desperation for the neko-jin, the monster had known the second he had seen Kai that their reunion had not gone for the best. And he had, like every time in the past, taken advantage of the situation. He molested him in hopes of mocking some reaction out of the bluenette and had succeeded when Kai had shown resistance to his touch and kisses after so long.

But it only excited him. The sadistic bastard was enticed to the insubordination and defiance in the bluenette when Kai was at his moment of weakness and Voltaire exploited it till he had a reason a punish him. Afterwards, Kai had been at the mercy of the senior who had heard of the word but never bothered to contemplate the meaning.

Voltaire had left him after a thorough whipping with his belt and a promise that Kai will carry out his wishes no matter what and that the marriage arrangements will follow as soon as possible. Kai did not doubt that but for the moment, he could not care less. Now as he stood on the balcony, back burning occasionally from the lashes, he could not help but agree…

History had indeed repeated it self.

It was unfair. It was very unfair. Why? Why did Ray have to be there to witness his engagement? Why was it that after craving so long for the golden eyed beauty, they had to meet only tonight? Why couldn't be it any time else when he could have somehow explained what happened all this time? Why wasn't he given a chance to explain, to apologize, to ask, and even beg willingly, for another chance? Why would this happen to only them…only him?

"…Why?"

'He's getting married!'

Kai closed his eyes as the accusation his lover had desperately voiced rang through his ears. The grip of his hands tightened and he cringed internally.

'You're being engaged…' Ray had whispered with complete uncertainty, '……And you go away……and get married after all?'

'How could you? H-how could that mean nothing to you?'

'I thought…I can't believe…not you…no…it wasn't…Kai?'

His heart sank and he let out a sharp yet shuddering breath. Was this for real? Was he really…getting…married? After all this time for the past eighteen years he had not mellowed to any of what his grandfather threw at him and now finally…he was being…engaged? How? He had always fought against any such notion then how could he let tonight's ceremony to happen? Had he really allowed Voltaire to finally take over?

Kai was partially confused. He, who had shown every kind of defiance to the older man despite knowing the failing consequences, had finally taken a back seat let his grandfather take the upper hand of his life. How Kai could have agreed on this commitment? Why hadn't he spoken out against this as he used to for all those years? Had he actually shown the white flag; admitted his defeat? Or rather, did he just…?

Did I finally give up on Ray…?

The bluenette could hardly accept that yet it was the truth, as bitter it was. He had indeed given up on Ray. His findings had come up with nothing. He had hung onto the last inevitable thread to keep it all together but it had finally snapped. He had forgotten all about it, right? How else could tonight's events be explained?

As shameful it sounded, Kai had indeed just stepped back. He was tired and wanted reprieve. And in a mastermind stroke, Voltaire had granted him salvation when the wounds were fresh and the cuts were still bleeding. He had tired him out in all those years and finally pardoned him enough to leave an impression of comfort. Kai had been offered sanctuary when he was down and in that state of mind; he had accepted the support readily.

The back of Kai's eyes burnt and he closed them tight, swallowing down the emotions running free in his veins. When crimson eyes opened again, they seemed even emptier than before as if carrying hollow oppression, a dead weight.

'I never knew you either Kai.'

He had hit him. He had hit the person he had sworn to protect; sworn that he would do all he could to keep him from hurt. From the day he had laid eyes on the neko for the first time, a need to keep all evil and pain from Ray had made home in Kai's heart. And since then his protectiveness had been challenged countless times.

But I guess I have failed each time…

Kai slowly trained his eyes to the cloudy sky above before releasing a sigh. He closed his eyes, wishing for the rain to fall, perhaps it might cleanse him…

I have been breaking a lot of promises lately Ray…a lot.

---

Flashback

The only source of light in the living room was conceivably from the tall lamp in one corner while the only sound was that of the nib of a fountain pen scribbling now and then on the smooth face of the paper. That was inside. Outside it was a different story with the lightening providing flashes of blinding light and the pitter patter of rain noise against the ear drums.

This was yet to be the weirdest monsoon seasons Kai had experienced in his life. And he had experienced quite much.

He adjusted the simple wire-framed glasses on his nose before briefly turning to the window. He didn't need any spectacles and wouldn't need them anytime soon but his doctor had advised them for a few months to deal with the migraines he was having from all the reading work. Besides, according to two reliable sources, his dear friend and young lover, they added, in words of the Chinese; the three 'S' in defining his character; smart, somber and sexy. So he wasn't complaining. Much, that is.

Speaking of his young lover, where was the boy? The last Kai had seen of the raven haired teen was in the school and that was five hours ago.

Yes, he was worried. In fact he was very much worried. It had been rather surprising to find Ray's apartment empty, especially since at recess the neko had told him to come home earlier. He had tirelessly called and had been on the brink of grabbing his raincoat and search for Ray himself when the Chinese sent him a text message that something came up and he would be coming back home late.

Kai had tried, a lot, afterwards to get hold of his boyfriend but the guy refused to answer any of his calls. So yes, it had worried him and still he was. Hell, his conscience would not probably rest till the neko would be tucked peacefully in his bed.

Kai shook his head. Ray would be fine. Though he knew the younger will never be out in such weather willingly, he managed to keep him self at bay and not to rush out to get Ray back by taking out some old files and records his lawyer had given him to go through. Right now though, he would much rather take up the searching part.

Turning to the wall, he was able to make out the time before sighing and getting on his feet. Going to the kitchen, he poured some coffee he had made some time ago in the mug and returned to the couch in Ray's apartment. Staring at the dull and mind numbing documents, he took a sip, mentally consoling himself that this reading was part of his training for handling any future family business.

Setting his almost empty mug down, he once more grabbed the portfolio and began where he left off but not before taking another peek at the clock. It was getting late.

You better have a good excuse for scaring the shit out of me for the whole evening, Ray.

Minutes passed and Kai heard the small yet distinctive click of the front door. Raising his head he internally sighed when the familiar soft steps reached his senses. Though ready to leap off the couch and demand what the hell was going on, Kai restrained himself enough and took his glasses off.

"Where did you run off to like that?" He asked with concern. His back was at Ray as he massaged the bridge of his nose so was not able to notice the momentary stiffness in the younger. Upon getting no reply, he frowned and turned, "Ray?"

Crimson pools widened an inch when he saw the neko-jin's questionable condition. Gradually placing the papers aside and standing up, he stared at the raven haired teen that was looking away at the side wall.

"Ray what's wrong?" Now he was concerned and worried as hell. Ray was entirely soaked, hair plastered on the unusually pale face and he had his eyes trained down in a defeated expression. Taking a few steps closer to him, Kai stared in somewhat alarm, "Ray, what happened? Are you alright?"

There still was no response. Ray just stood there, his right hand clutching his left elbow, head turned away and eyes guarded.

That was when Kai noticed, "Were you crying?

Ray shook his head fervently despite his cheeks slightly pink and still did not raise his head.

"Don't lie to me."

The teen made a petite funny noise before looking up only a bit and offering him a small smile, "I'm fine"

Kai was now baffled at his boyfriend's manner. Not only he seemed deeply troubled, Ray was lying right through his teeth. There was no way Kai would believe that the Chinese was fine in any way. "Ray, what's up? Tell me"

The younger again shook his head and hiccupped, "It-it's stupid…really don't worry Kai" He looked up to pass another fake smile, one fist rubbing the tears away from his eye, "I…didn't mean to upset you or anything."

"Ray, for god's sake, you're crying! I am upset!"

The said person let out a shuddering breath, his arms falling at his sides and head down. As if contemplating upon some unknown reason and reaching the conclusion, Ray again shook his head before taking in a long breath, "I'm fine. Look something just…you know…came up…and…I guess I got a bit emotional…yeah…"

Kai looked at him, stunned, before narrowing his eyes, "You're lying. Again"

Ray seemed to hold back a sob and looked away, "I-I-I want to go to my room. I-"

Kai grabbed his arm and felt him tensing up almost immediately. This was strange. Ray never acted like this. "You're not going anywhere until you tell me why are you crying?"

The neko swallowed and tried to free his arm. "I-I'm not crying, Kai"

Kai let him go but closed his distance to the shivering teen. He would have snorted at the reply but the anxious apprehension was eating his insides, "Talk to me, Ray-Ray?" he took a step back when the raven head passed beside him like lightening, making a dash for the room.

In a reflex motion, he grabbed the other's wrist and kept it there, stopping the neko from his feverish retreat.

"Kai, please, I don't want to talk about it…"

"So there is something bothering you then"

"I…"

"Ray…"

"…"

"Just tell me already"

"…Mariah"

Kai froze at the mention of the neko's dead friend and loosened his grip on his wrist. Ray still had his eyes hidden and was facing the opposite wall rather than Kai so it was almost impossible to tell whether he was being honest.

Completely releasing him, Kai once more stepped closer, not knowing whether to comfort his lover or doubt him. "Are you sure that's all?"

Ray faltered in his answer and Kai noticed it well. Yet he still nodded in affirmative.

At this, somehow Kai felt at discomfort. Why wasn't the neko just telling him? They hardly had anything hidden from each other so why wasn't he trusted with the truth? "Ray…" he broke off, trying to stop but couldn't, "…Why are you lying to me?" Now Kai was baffled when Ray's breath hitched up and he actually let out a few sobs, "Ray! What is it!?"

"Just leave me alone for now, Kai, please." Golden eyes finally turned to him in plea and Kai could easily tell that something massive must have happened for them to portray such distress.

Kai gave him another anxiety filled look before taking a small step back though quietly telling the neko that he was very worried. Ray lower lip trembled a few times, as if trying to say something but he turned and closed the door with a small snap.

Crimson eyes stared at the space where the raven haired beauty had stood a second ago before glancing over at the window when another thunder bolt lightened the sky. It was dark, almost ten. At a small clicking sound, he turned to the door, the only barrier between him and his crying lover on the other side. Swallowing down the trepidation, he silently placed his hand on the knob, hoping his mind had just conjured up the sound.

But no, that was not so. He rotated the knob without making any sound at all. And it was locked.

Kai closed his eyes as his heart sank somewhat at that even though the occurrence to some people would seem insignificant. But that was not for him. Placing his forehead on the wooden surface, he breathed barely loudly,

"Talk to me, Ray. I want to know what's wrong"

There was no reply given but from the heavy breathing, Kai could tell Ray had slid down against the door. His heart jolted again when a sob was heard and he hands clenched tightly into fists. Ray was crying in there and there was nothing he could do.

"At least give me some assurance that you'll tell me when you feel like it"

There was a long silence but the bluenette was able to make out a drained whisper, "…okay"

Kai smiled worriedly though knowing that the other could not possibly see him. Pulling his forehead away, he eased his palm against the door and spoke, "Good then, go wash up and change. You could catch a fever again." With that, he stood there for a moment before breaking contact with the wood and retrieving his footsteps back to the couch.

Once flopping down, he placed a hand on his eyes and sighed. Giving the bedroom one last look, he grabbed his files and set out to resume his paper work. In the back of his mind, this little episode could not help repeat it self.

He had seen the neko at recess and with the exception of slight exasperation; he had been alright unless it was all pretend. But Kai knew him well and would have known the second something was wrong. After then, they had no classes together and funny enough, he did not meet the raven head again. He had tried somewhat to locate him in the labs and the library after gym but returned to Ray's apartment at quarter to five.

What had happen in between to upset the Chinese was beyond Kai but he would not rest till he found out and deal with it.

'…Mariah'

Kai paused at that. He wouldn't blame Ray if the memory of his late friend had triggered some tears and memories in him but it was apparent that was not the case.

He let out another sigh. As much as Kai knew, Mariah and Ray had been friends since five back in China and had grown up together till Ray left the village. He knew that the neko considered the pink haired girl as a sister he never had so it was obvious that her murder had a violent affect on him.

It had been two months ago when late at night Ray's cell had rung. Kai answered it; mind set up to tell the caller off but had stopped when a weeping woman had asked for the tiger. Despite the sudden dismay, he had woken up the younger and told him he had someone on the line from his homeland. Ray's sleepy state was replaced by utter confusion and dread as he answered.

Kai remembered clearly the sudden paling of skin and lips as his lover froze, his eyes wide and lips parted in a silent gasp. That moment had, truthfully, terrified Kai. Ray's lips had trembled, failing to conjure words while tears had filled those golden orbs as he clutched the small device with shaking hands. After the small call ended, Ray had fallen back on Kai, who had immediately embraced him, silently consoling him. The neko had trembled and allowed some tears to fall before he managed to whisper through the tears,

'Mariah has been murdered.'

A sudden thunder brought Kai out of his recollections and he blinked a few times before writing 'denied' on the document and proceeding to the next one.

Kai had expected Ray to cry and break down and initially that was what happened. But the next day when they reached China for the evening funeral, the raven head had composed him self so strongly that not a single tear escaped even when he lowered the dead body into the assigned grave with his own hands. He had stood there quietly beside Kai and watched the burial. Kai had left him there alone for sometime and came to take him back way after sun set when everyone had returned. It was surprising as well as worrying when Ray simply tied the pink bandana the dead girl was heard to always wear to a branch near the tombstone and walked away silently.

His assumption had been correct when Mariah's parents told him that Ray had blocked himself from the rest of the world at his mother's funeral as well. And it was true, Ray did not utter another syllable for two days and even when they returned to Japan, he barely talked. But eventually, he cried a few times before telling Kai that he would meet her on the other side and hoped that the murderer had not tortured her before stabbing her. It wasn't much but Kai was more than happy to hear that voice again.

Now, however, he could not guess what had prompted these memories to resurface. Ray had been himself for the past six weeks and Kai was not so easily fooled to believe that the neko's current dilemma was Mariah.

Well, he promised he would let me know…

So he shouldn't worry too much. Ray would come to him sooner or later. But still it was hard to concentrate and the next document took almost twice as the usual time to go through as Kai kept peeking at the clock now and then before sighing internally.

Lawrence better have a good reason to give me this bundle of ten year old records.

Though he knew very well Lawrence Destin, his lawyer and father's best friend, gave these files to Kai so he could acquaint with the business' past and judge what should be approved and what not but it still irked him for paperwork was the most bothersome exertion ever.

A click alerted Kai yet he did not show any sign of awareness when the bedroom door slowly opened. He underlined a paragraph and wrote his opinion and deduction in the side column before signing the file in approval and closing it only to take up the next one.

Ray stood behind the couch, his arms around his torso, before taking small steps to reach the arm rest. His eyes wavered as he shot the bluenette a glance. He had changed and dried up as instructed yet the tip of his nose was still a bit pink. Gradually, he climbed onto the couch and sat with both legs tucked underneath and hands clutched in the lap, keeping far away from Kai. Though he was facing his boyfriend, his gaze was downcast as he sat there silent as a mouse.

Kai closed his work after a minute and placed it on the coffee table where his feet were perched with the rest stuff. Glasses still on, he turned to the teen sitting afar from him. Ray's demeanor was the same troubled one but at least his crying had ceased. Kai watched him intently for a long time, hoping quietly for the golden eyes to rise and assure him all was okay. When it did not happen and Ray stayed in his dejected position, Kai shook his head once before opening his arms and motioning the raven head to move in silently.

Ray's breath hitched up and he seemed to consider the candid comfort before slowly inclining towards his lover's embrace. The bluenette smiled softly when the neko laid his head down in his lap, eyes clenched shut. He squeezed his hold on Ray once before his hand drifted to the unwrapped ponytail. Untying the ribbon, he caressed the scalp before running his long fingers in the damp hair,

"What's wrong?"

The Chinese sighed at the gesture and snuggled deep into his shirt as if being relieved of huge load. Kai did not bother him when no answer was heard and kept up his lazy stroking until he was sure that the teen was completely relaxed. He brushed his fingers on the tanned cheek, noting the invisible dry tear tracks. When his light touch reached the closed eyelids, they opened and stared at his nails, lost in thought.

Moments passed as both young lovers sat there on the couch, safe from the storm raiding outside. Kai was about to rest his head on the back of the seat when Ray finally spoke,

"How was your school today?"

The bluenette frowned somewhat in confusion before looking down at the opened orbs, "Shouldn't I be asking that?"

Ray fingered the buttons on his shirt before whispering back, "Just tell me. How was it?"

"It was the usual. Why?"

"Are you sure?"

Kai sat up straight and immediately Ray pulled away too, "Where is this going again?"

Golden eyes looked away, suddenly interested in the floor and spoke, "How was this week? Anything special happened to you or something?"

"Not really. What's this about?" Kai turned completely to face him, one arm on the headrest.

Ray narrowed his eyes slightly before pressing his lips tightly in a single line and shaking his head in what seemed in disappointment. He turned to him again and shrugged, "Nothing too special, I guess. But I would have liked the truth myself."

"I am being truthful!"

"No…"

"Ray! What's got into you?"

"I want to know what happened on Friday!"

The neko's sudden outburst made Kai blink who registered the demand before thinking deeply about the last week, "What's there to know? I met you…math's class went by…" Kai repeated briefly the whole day carefully, "…then, you went to library and I…went……to……the gym…" Garnet colored orbs stilled for moments when the realization hit him. Unfortunately, Kai was unable to control his shock and the Chinese was quick to see that,

"I see"

"Ray-"

"You forgot the part where Brooklyn came in" Ray pointed out, his eyes once more filling with tears.

Kai couldn't understand where the neko had heard it from or how much he knew. Thus he faltered which proved a mistake. A tear escaped the neko's eye, slowly cascading down till it stopped at the edge of the face before falling on the linen shirt,

Ray let out a shuddering sigh, "You made out with Brooklyn?"

"No. No, I didn't"

"Oh really, now"

"Who told you?"

"Kai, the whole school's gossiping about it!" Ray said, rising his voice, "They saw it! They know about it! Everyone-"

"Ray, listen. It's not what you think. Brooklyn cornered me in showers and he just…it was nothing okay?"

"Brooklyn cornered you?" Ray half mocked, "Am I supposed to believe that?"

Kai looked away. It really was nothing. Brooklyn was in one of his flirting moods but before Kai knew it the teal eyed teen closed the space between them and kissed him. It was hard for him to believe that anyone had witnessed that three second drama. He looked back at Ray to find some more tears running down the tanned cheeks.

"Ray, don't cry," He hated it already; he didn't want to see his lover like this. So why wasn't he explaining himself? Why just sit like a mute and let false perceptions make through the neko's mind? The truth was, Kai was just too inexperienced in such situations and was simply at a loss of words. That incident had been wiped clean from his mind and in reality; he had not dwell upon Ray ever finding it out.

Guess he was just mistaken.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No! Don't you even dare blame yourself because of something like this, got it?" Kai scolded, moving a bit forward.

"Then why didn't you tell me Kai?"

"I didn't think it was such a big thing"

"Not a big thing?" Ray spoke shrilly, not caring a bit that he was losing control easily, "For god's sake, Kai. The whole school's gossiping about it!"

"I didn't think there was someone in the showers. And believe me Ray, Brooklyn made the move, I-"

"I'm not blaming you but how could you not tell me? If it was so small why didn't you come clean first?"

"It was nothing to be bothered about."

"It was!"

"Look!" Ignoring the small jump the raven head made at his raised voice, Kai spoke in an ending tone "I didn't mind what happen back then because I took care of it immediately. You might have seen the bandage on his left wrist these days. I've known Kingston and I know what type of hormones that slut has. I'm not shallow okay? He's been dropping hints since a long time. I guess the little compliment the coach gave after the match just got to his head."

If it was possible, Ray looked even more miserable. Hugging his torso, he stared at his bent legs with open sadness, tear-filled eyes narrowed.

Kai hesitated for a second before turning away, "That's all there is to discuss."

The neko sobbed, "Yeah…sure"

The bluenette turned to his fellow, a mixture of guilt and somewhat frustration filling his heart, "Ray…" He fought how to continue the conversation before saying, "How did you find out?"

The said teen shook his head, "Never mind…it's nothing…"

"Ray, there must be more, I know it. Brooklyn and I kissing is sure to disturb you and I'm really sorry for this" Kai rushed, as if the quick he said, the less painful it might be, "But that's not all, is it?" He ended with a serous frown.

"……How could you not tell me?" Ray whispered, not noting that his boyfriend gritted his teeth slightly. He continued, eyes down, "Why did you left something like this-?"

"It was nothing!"

"Kai how would you like it when for a whole week you're kept in the dark-?"

"It was only a few days ago and-"

"Six days have passed!" Ray said, putting a stop to Kai who ran a hand through his two toned hair, "Do you even know what happened today? People have been pointing at me, snickering and talking behind their hands this whole week. Do you know what I did?"

Kai turned his eyes to his lover and his heart sank again when he saw tears once more falling out those pools of gold.

"I confronted them today! After school, I saw another group sniggering at me and asked them like a total fool what the hell their problem was? Do you know what they did? They laughed there straight on my face, nudging each other as if I just made a big joke." Ray wiped his eyes furiously, his gaze fixed on Kai "Before I could say something a senior jock came to me and pushed me against the wall and he asked…he asked…"

"What?" The Russian asked calmly.

"…He asked how much I paid for one night and a blow-job."

Kai's mouth fell open and all serenity was replaced by bloodshed at Ray's small whisper, "WHAT!?"

The neko lowered his eyes in shame and sorrow, "He just stood there…amused…all of them…just standing there waiting for a response…"

Kai lunged forward, grabbing the slim shoulders, "Why didn't you tell me this before?!"

Ray ignored him or the violent shakes, looking side ways, "I punched him and demanded what the hell this was all about…like a total idiot…I just asked them. Do you know what they said? They found it extremely funny that the person I had such a strong public relation with was making out with some other guy in the gym's shower…"

"Ray!" Kai shook him again and this time was able to catch the Chinese's attention who only realized how close and angry Kai was, "How could you not tell me this before?"

Golden eyes assessed him warily before trying to shift in his grip. Swallowing, Ray leant backwards, "I-I…just was…shocked. I couldn't believe it…I-I told them they were wrong but three guys saw you Kai…I couldn't face them…I just walked away then…" He winced when his fists were caught in a strong grip.

"You just walked away and what, Ray? Cried and kept doubting yourself? Why couldn't you come to me immediately?" The bluenette asked crossly, anger evident in his loud voice.

"Kai…" Ray looked back with sudden fear and a shiver ran down his back despite himself.

Kai was perplexed when he saw the fear displayed in his boyfriend's face. Was Ray really…scared of him? Scowling slightly, he raised his hand to the neko's cheek and was himself taken back when the other flinched at the quick action. Backing away a bit, he gazed at Ray, confounded, "You…are cowering from me" He stated in disbelief.

Ray gulped and tried futilely to shake his head but wasn't able to move much.

The crimson eyed teen now sat back on his bent legs, hands limp in his lap, "Ray…you're cowering from me"

"I-I…I'm sorry…I didn't me-" His breath hitched up when Kai moved forward and cupped his face with both hands with surprising gentleness.

"Don't you ever cower from me again, understood?"

The raven head gave a single nod under the meaningful look, "I didn't mean to-I just-I'm sorry."

Kai let out a sigh, opening his arms to hug the younger one, "Come here kitten"

Without a second's wait, Ray moved in the embrace, placing his forehead on his boyfriend's shoulder. Except for Ray's momentary pants, silence descended upon them and Kai tightened his hold on the other, not really knowing what had just happened. When hot tears spread through his thin shirt and onto his flesh, he kissed the raven head and pulled him even closer, "I'm sorry, Kitten. I didn't really know this would happen. It was really heartless to let you face that alone. You're right; I should've seen it coming."

Ray dried his eyes but didn't rise from his comfortable place on the other's chest, "I'm sorry, too…I know-I guess, I-I was just confused, I think I just made a mountain out of a mole hole…"

"You had every right to."

"Sorry…"

Kai shook his head, "Don't be. Hell, if it would've been me in your place, I would had broken the door or something or literally mutilated any living thing in my way by now." He said quietly, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

The neko stayed quiet, turning to press his ear against Kai's ribcage, listening to the rhythmic beating of the heart. Slowly he curled his fingers in Kai's trousers, other arm snaking around the waist. Kai returned the gesture by rubbing his back in soothing circles and kissing the top of his head. Ray closed his eyes sleepily before opening them and sniffing slightly,

"……Are you going to leave me?

Kai who also had his eyes closed, snapped open at the childish tone, looking down skeptically.

"I don't want you to go…I don't want anyone to leave me again…"

"No one is ever going to leave you, Ray"

"Everyone eventually does. First my father, then mom…then Mariah…"

"Come on, kitten, you're stronger than this"

"I don't want you to go…ever." He repeated, tightening his fist on Kai as if the bluenette would simply vanish.

"I will never leave you, Ray. You know that" He raised the tired neko from his lap and held him near his face with both hands.

Ray blinked, sleepy from the day's exhaustion, "Promise…?"

Kai smiled at the softness of that tone he loved so much, "Always, kitten, I promise…" Bending forward he kissed the small nose before capturing the rosy lips tenderly, drinking in their gentleness and taste. Breaking the kiss, he slowly stood, carrying Ray in both his arms and proceeding to their bedroom. He snuggled in the long black mane as the Chinese wrapped his arms around the neck before drifting to sleep almost right away,

"I love you, Kai"

Kai smiled into the hair but didn't reply immediately. Laying the sleeping neko on the bed, he climbed in, pulling the lithe body against him. Stroking the face, he bent down and placed a chaste kiss on the brow before whispering in the pointed ear, "Love you too…sweet dreams, Ray…"

Staring out at the window where the rain had taken up its full might, Kai sighed quietly. He really did not account what had happen and wasn't even sure he had faced it all. It was so strange but one thing stood aside. He was never going to let Ray cry again like that. It had literally hurt him to see the neko like that and he promised himself, he would never be the cause of his lover's tears again.

"I won't hurt you. And I won't let anyone else hurt you either."

And he was not going to break his word anytime soon. The previous five months with Ray had been nothing but pure bliss for Kai because for the first time ever in his life, he felt that sense of utter completion, something he never experienced before, never tasted, never needed so badly.

"I won't leave you Ray. Nothing's going to keep us away from each other. I promise."

---

End Flashback

Kai gradually took in a long breath, feeling the weight on his chest getting heavier and heavier with each passing second, literally suffocating him. That event had been a first but soon others followed and a month later, that fateful day arrived and their world shattered to pieces like countless shards of broken glass.

It was strange. Ray was afraid of departure. He never wanted Kai to leave him. He had already experienced so many people leaving his young life. And at that time, his biggest dread had been the fear of Kai leaving him too. Yet, that day, that rainy day, it had been the neko to turn away from him. Ray couldn't handle it any more. He walked away and out…

Kai remembered Tala asking in a state of shock as to how could the neko not believe him. And he had laughed sourly on his inquiry through his regret.

"Tell me Tala, how would it feel if Bryan cheats on you?" He had asked the redhead rather candidly.

Though the cerulean eyed teen had been very much taken back, he had still said stubbornly, "Look, I'm just saying Ray should've-"

"Answer me first"

Silence had descended upon the two friends as Tala did actually ponder on the question. He had stayed quiet for some time before replying in a low tone, "I would've hurt him back, I guess. I would've left him immediately. Perhaps I would have given him a chance to explain and all but at that moment, I would've smashed his face."

"What if you're being told by your schoolmates that your lover was making out with some other pretty face now and then though he denied it each time when confronted?"

It had made the redhead quite uncomfortable and he had tried to think of some way to counter the inquiry before falling silent and answering in a monotone, "If it would have been Bryan, I would never have believed it but…I guess…I would have broken down, too. But the second time, I would've killed him."

Yet Ray had never dropped to such actions. Kai was not to be blamed here yet nor was the neko. He put up with it for four weeks, not only with the rumors, Kingston and the taunts but also with Voltaire. He had never doubted Kai, not even when the bluenette confessed about having sex with Brooklyn under the drugs. Ray just wasn't ready to let go. He had placed all his faith and trust in Kai which was broken many times yet he never gave up. None of the two wanted to part but that day; that day Ray did and went out of his life for good.

Kai had tried to stop him. He couldn't imagine his life without the Chinese and it never occurred to him how hollow it would be without him. But when Ray caught him and Brooklyn alone in that music room, witnessing the strewn tale and rumors with his own two eyes, it was obvious there was no method to repair the inflicted damage in any way.

'I love you Kai; always has and always will. But you were right; none of us can go on like this. At least I can't…'

The numbness, the shock, the disbelief, he remembered it all. Just few weeks ago he had promised Ray he would never leave him; that he would never hurt the neko; that they would always be together no matter what happened. But that was not meant to be.

I'll never forget that day. I lost not only my lover; I lost my whole existence…

He had stayed there on the bridge after Ray's farewell. He had hoped to wake up, to snap out of the nightmare. But nothing happened. No one came. No one woke him up.

It only got worse…

---

Flashback

Night had fallen yet the sky never ceased it's crying, weeping the tears in anticipation, in hopes to purify some souls, to relieve their suffering. Yet the water just washed away in its wake, not a single drop amidst so many stayed for the next one simply forced it away. How long had he been simply standing there? Was it some minutes ago or perhaps hours had gone by? The rain had not altered its speed nor had the sky darken. Or was it just him? Then again the street lights had been turned on. So it was way before evening then?

Kai did not know.

He didn't care, plain and simple. Nothing mattered. Ray had walked away from him. It was minutes ago, wasn't it? But then why did his body ache from the chills and his stationary position? Ray told him it was over, right? He had clarified that there wasn't anything left between them anymore, hadn't he? He had made it clear. So why was Kai not accepting that? Why was his mind not responding? What was this sudden hollowness eating his insides?

'I'm sorry that I haven't been able to give you what you wanted…'

'…But I hope that your new interest can…I wish both of you luck…'

'…I love you, Kai…'

"I love you too…Ray…"

As the words left his lips, reality sank in and his dazed composure broke finally after so long. Ray…R-Ray was gone. But he can't be gone. He was just angry and upset…He…he needed some time to think over this. But these assurances were not helpful. And as the fact finally settled that he had lost the one who was his life in general, the light within his soul darken till it was no more.

Please don't leave me, not now…not ever…

This was it. His heart clenched painfully and Kai felt as if he would collapse any given moment. His stomach was in knots and his chest burnt. The overwhelming of emotions and the humungous loss did nothing to stop the tears stinging the back of his eyes. Yet he did not cry. He did not break down. And he did not go after the footsteps of his lover's retreat.

Kai Hiwatari just stood there in the rain, just like he had done for so many hours. No one crossed his path and nothing broke his trance; nothing except the cold rain, his only company in the time of dilemma. Or may be it was the loneliness? Yeah, that was it probably. Lonesomeness; a feeling he had acquainted throughout his life until a certain somebody stepped into his life and took him away from his isolation. Now as that someone was gone, he was alone again, like all those years.

But I don't want to be alone again…I don't ever want to be alone again…

Yet he turned, gradually, staring at the other end of the bridge he had been on, the one leading to the only place he was welcome; not Ray's apartment but his own home. But it was no longer his home. It was currently a dwelling granting its generous hospitality to a monster; the monster that had been the bane of his existence for so long and once more proved that he was the devil Kai will not get rid of anytime soon.

Kai was not aware that his legs were carrying him to some unknown destination and he did not bother to stop and contemplate on it. His mind was engaged on his life of Russia, the one he thought he would never ever remember again.

His parents had left him before he had even learnt to read. They were murdered by the only other family member he had ever known or so that was what he believed anyway. Twelve years he had stayed in the abbey and eventually with his grandfather before coming to Japan and tasting freedom at its first. Those childhood years in the orphanage he had been admitted too was nothing but torture, a hell on earth given a heavenly name; abbey.

Kai had learnt to rely on no one during the training to become a fighter in the rebel army his grandfather was secretly building. They were forced into isolation with aloneness as their only partner. Yet Kai broke the rules. He found his friends there, similar to him; homeless and without families. Together however they themselves had made a family but on the shutdown of Voltaire Hiwatari's plans, they had slightly parted their ways.

He had his best friend and Tala's lilac haired boyfriend the closest to him in that matter but there was always something amiss. Sure he soon got the butler of his father and got hooked by other staff members and was given a proper home here in Japan, but his heart was yet to feel the content of its existence. And that had been granted when his eyes had first landed on Ray…

Shouting aroused him from his deep stupor and it mildly surprised Kai that he stood in the entrance hall of his mansion. Had he really walked here? The confusion in his mind deserted him when familiar voices entered his ears yet his numbed body and rather shocked system was not able to register anything of the given situation.

"Kai…!"

"Ah! Took you long time didn't it, grandson? But believe me, I wasn't worried at all. I knew you'd find your way back sooner or later."

Dead crimson eyes looked over the threshold with an unfazed look but the empty cavity in the red pools related the lack of sensation or thoughts in him. There standing with a smug victorious expression was his grandfather. But the new development behind him captured his scattered attention as he made contact with a pair of cerulean orbs.

"What's the matter, Kai? Not even going to greet your old man. I feel unloved."

"Kai…?" Tala whispered in dread. The bluenette was soaked and looked as if mourning over a loss which could never be compensated.

The two toned head tilted a centimeter to a side as Kai gazed at his best friend, face expressionless. What was the redhead doing here? He had been sent away from Japan after Voltaire's return so what was he doing in the same room with the senior at the moment? And why were there pieces of broken decorations lying around on the floor and a bruise on Tala's face?

"That's very rude of you Kai. Didn't I teach you your basic manners years ago? Or do I have to revise them all over again?" Voltaire let out a bark of laughter and succeeded in catching the eyes of his young charge.

Kai felt something trigger in him as he watched the man cackle insanely but it was not potent enough for him to retaliate in any way. He did not even flinch when the man closed the distance between them and grabbed his chin roughly, peering directly into his orbs with his similar red ones.

"Something wrong, my dear grandson? Perhaps it might be something to do with that whore of yours?"

Kai's eye twitched slightly as he looked up in the aged face of the taller person. Behind him he knew Tala had tensed at the mention of Ray yet it did not matter to him. Nothing did.

"Come on Kai, I know the little melodramatic breakup hadn't turned you into a mute."

Tala's silent gasp did not go unnoticed by his bluenette friend yet Kai still did not react. Until,

"Fuck you, Grandfather, fuck you."

That only seemed to amuse him further and Voltaire burst into uncouth laughter. From his expression, it was clear that Tala felt the dread in his heart replaced by pure fury but was wise enough not to interfere when Kai was closer than an arm's distance of his grandfather. Yet even he could not hold his anxiousness, "Kai…"

As much as Kai wanted to break free and rush over to his friend for support, he stood his ground and looked Voltaire in the eye. He knew he was crying inside. He could not help it. He had lost the best of the few good things in his life and his only family member was not only happy for his loss but also the cause of it.

"What did I ever do to you, grandfather?" Kai couldn't help it. He needed to know. What possible sin did he ever commit in his life to deserve this? Swallowing the painful lump in his throat, he repeated his plea as Voltaire calmed down from to his sick chuckling, "What did I ever do?"

"Aw Kai, don't go all sentimental on me just because of that little country trash."

"Why did you…why did you do that?"

Voltaire smirked and bent to kiss the lips of his grandson, shivering slightly at the long forgotten sensation of that soft touch. The kiss was not forceful, just a soft one. And it surely intrigued him when no resistance was shown, "You forgot you belonged to me and only me"

Kai did not react in the least and kept his stare steady in the same way, "Why did you…how could-?"

"Look at you Kai. You're weak. I always told you that these emotions are for the weak and look how pathetic you've become. Why I remember some years ago when nothing bothered you, not even my touches. Now only that pretty brat stepped out of your life and you're near hysterical"

"Stay away from him, Voltaire!" Tala shouted, disgust creeping in him. He made to step forward but the haunted look Kai sent him stopped his actions.

"Or what will you do, whore?" Purposefully turning to face the other teen, he wrapped his arms around Kai from the back, resting his face lightly near the shoulder.

The red head seethed, "You sick bastard! The court won't let you win again! You will be soon behind bars and this time you will rot there in prison and die with beings similar to you, you rat!"

"Empty words, Ivanov"

"You really think so? Because the evidence will put you back in the stinking hole you first came from!"

"Evidence…? What Evidence, Ivanov?"

That tone seemingly unnerved Tala and even Kai turned to look at his grand father. Something was not right.

"Kai, what's your friend babbling about now?" Voltaire grinned against the neck of the younger lad before nibbling his earlobe, "Oh I forgot…I didn't announce the news and I've been dieing to let you know"

He turned Kai's head sharply and captured his lips forcefully. The bluenette initially jerked before closing his eyes shut when the sickening appendage roamed in his mouth. He could not help it when his hands shook violently at the assault and he fisted them in hopes of gaining control over his sudden apprehension.

It was too much. H-he couldn't handle this. He just couldn't. This was cruel; plain cruelty. Nobody should be allowed to do this to any other being, especially not a family member. Kai was tired. He knew he couldn't fight. He didn't have the will or energy to do so. Heck, he had just lost his lover and now it was becoming apparent, his sanity was being snatched away from him too. He didn't w-want this…couldn't handle it anymore…no more…

Voltaire pulled away with that revolting victorious leer of his, "I should have told you immediately, Kai, but I guess I just got carried away. After all it has been over more than a year since I, ah, reacquainted myself with you now. I brought a present for you grandson" He pointed at the small package on the coffee table in front of the Sony Plasma TV.

"Kai don't-"

But Tala's plea fell on deaf ears as Kai gazed at the brown paper bag with minor curiosity. He stayed in Voltaire's arms for a while before taking small steps towards the parcel. He bent a bit to pick it up but stopped when he made out the black label upside down. His eyelids lightly flickered before he turned it to make sure he had read correctly. The wrapper had been torn opened and something was scribbled in rough writing,

'MS#33'

His mind fought for the probable meaning but gave up when he saw some black casing beneath it. Sitting on his knees near the table, he slowly pulled the case out of its packing and gazed at a video cassette with uncertainty. With numb fingers, he turned it over for any indication or writing but found none. Although unsure, he pressed his thumbs on the side and opened the cassette's plastic cover.

Pulling out the videotape, he halted for a second before reading the blank writing on the white label and his blood froze. Silence filled the large lounge area as Kai bit back a sharp gasp. His body went rigid and he feared the worst as he read and re-read the sticker, hoping his mind was simply over doing with superstition. Yet it said understandably clear as a day,

'Advocate L.W. Destin'

Kai kept his eyes glued to the tape, fear building in his chest, No…please don't let it be…

Turning his eyes to his grandfather in disbelief, he tried wording the question nagging his mind but could utter no more than, "Lawrence…?"

"A pest wasn't he? Put it on, Kai. It's rather entertaining."

"Kai, no-don't!" Tala made forward to the bluenette with a frantic look in his eyes.

"I told you to SHUT UP!"

Kai jumped when Voltaire turned speedily and struck his metal staff right into Tala's chest with much force. Crimson eyes widened and Kai took in a breath with difficulty when he watched a look of sheer disbelief flashing on the redhead's face before replaced by immense pain. Teeth clenched tightly, cerulean eyes closed in agony as Tala doubled over and fell on the couch behind him before rolling in torture and landing on the floor, crying out in ache.

Shoulders shaking while somewhat out of breath, Kai made to run to his fallen comrade but the next words chased away the brief reaction in him,

"I told you to play it, Kai. You don't want blood on the hands of your grandfather now, do you?"

The said teen looked at the elder slowly before gazing at the cassette which has fallen from his hands on his lap. He turned back to Voltaire before training his eyes on the redhead some feet away from him. Tala was panting heavily clutching the place where his heart was as he tried to get up. He hissed in pain when he finally sat and quickly turned away to cough out a large amount of blood.

Knowing he should not entice the senior's anger, he lowered his eyes at the videotape before putting in the player and taking the remote. He swallowed somewhat and from the corner of his eyes watched Tala who tried to gain some control over him. The red eyes dimmed even more if that was possible before rewinding the tape and turning away.

"You're going to enjoy this Kai. I know I did"

Kai knew that he would never like it. His chest constricted when the thought returned that the cassette had something to do with his dad's friend. He could feel the familiar gaze of a pair of blue hues on his back and could relay the warning Tala was trying to give.

The rewinding stopped and he pressed the play button before standing up and taking a few steps away from the TV set.

The snowy image lit up the screen before the real picture came. The video seemed to be captured in night vision and was a mute one with no sounds. According to the time in the left corner of the screen, the shot was of no more than four hours ago. The recording was of a small parking lot with only two cars standing there. Not long, a figure appeared from the right hand side and went to his car and drove off, seemingly unaware that he was being watched. The scene ended.

The short one second blackness gave way to next scene and it seemed as the man who was being taped was being chased by the owner of camera in a car. The automobile in the front took a sharp left before speeding off as if realizing that he was being followed.

The third scene showed that the goose chase was over and two men, dressed in black, faces covered, pulled out the chased person out of the car and into the rain. With a painful realization, Kai realized the shoulder length brown hair enclosing a stern yet young face of his lawyer and claimed godfather.

The man seemed to break free of his assailant before turning and delivering a few good kicks and punches. But before gaining any ground, the second thug came over and hit the advocate up the head with a metal baton. The man's mouth opened to scream in pain before falling on the muddy ground. Like in a movie, one of the attackers pulled out a dagger and with the speed of lightening grabbed the brunette by his hair and drove the weapon straight into his neck.

Though the far away distance of the camera granted fewer details, the thick liquid flowing out, mixing with the rain water could easily be seen. The lawyer sat on his knees, transfixed, but his body jerked violently when the dagger was pulled out roughly. Mouth opened in shock and terror, he was picked up before being thrown in the back seat of his own Mercedes. The second thug jumped in the driver's seat and reversed the car before stopping to park it in a straight line with a large tree.

The guy stepped out before putting some thing in the car. The engine came into life again and the man in black pulled out just in time as the car shot forward and smashed into the tree, automatically creating a scene of road accident. But that did not seem the end of it. The man with the dagger came into the scene with a can and threw the liquid all over the hood, inside the car and some on the tree before retreating to put the can back.

The second guy in that time opened the luggage carrier of the car and threw in a sack of what seemed like white heroin. He also pulled out two packs of cigarettes and threw them in the front seat before walking away. He was joined by his partner in crime who pulled out a match box. Throwing a lighter nearby the car, he lit a match, looked over his comrade before throwing it in the spilled petrol. The fire caught quickly and they backed away immediately to their vehicle and the scene ended.

The last shot was a bit far away the crime scene and the blazing inferno. There it was; a perfect murder with no proof whatsoever. It was just a car accident. The specialists would find the heroin in the ashes and conclude the guy was already an illegal persona of the society, thus the sympathy would be gone. Then the pack of nicotine cigarette and lighter would prove easily the initial source of the fire. Blood, the corpse, fingerprints, any evidence would be washed away from the rain fall and the fire itself. It was no doubt a perfect murder.

The last message crept on the screen in a computerized voice, "Mr. Lawrence Will Destin eliminated. All the evidence in the office had been taken care off."

"I love happy endings, don't you Kai?"

The said teen stood there, lips slightly parted, shocked beyond comprehension, No…n-no! This couldn't be true! It can't be! This didn't happen! Please…no…This couldn't be true…It just can't…

But painstakingly, it was.

"Law-Lawrence…"

Kai broke down. The pain, the pain in his chest was too much. His breathing did not feel like his own; it was heavy and ragged badly. He fell on the carpeted floor, feeling highly nauseated. Goosebumps appeared all over his body as coldness of the cruel present hit him. Lawrence…his mentor…his guide…the only person he had a relation like that a nephew has with his favorite uncle was gone…

The bluenette clenched his eyes shut. No, this was not true; none of this. He and Brooklyn did not meet today. Ray never left him. Tala was safe in Russia. And Lawrence…Lawrence was just…he would just be over his head in search for some other old folders to pester Kai with. That was all. This was just a nightmare. His grandfather wasn't here goading him. Not in reality anyway. This was a mere dream. He was going to wake up soon.

None of this is happening…It can't…it's not fair…This is just not happening…

The world says truth is bitter. Only they do not know what bitter is.

Kai clenched his hair with trembling fingers. This wasn't happening to him. He never did anything to deserve this. He wanted to cry, to scream. Funny, the last time he cried was when his parents died and after that…he never did so. Hell, he didn't ever cry when he went through all those punishments. So he didn't cry right then either. He wanted to, yes. He wanted to cry for the nightmare to end, he wanted to cry for his lover, he simply wanted to cry. But he didn't.

He loosened his grip on his hair and stood, slowly turning to face the sneering face of his grandfather; the cracked, broken shadow of a trapped suffering soul reflected through the shimmering of the crimson eyes.

"You murdered him" Kai whispered.

"Well, I just want to make sure you remain mine, Kai."

"I'M NOT YOURS!!" Kai screamed, rage at its full. But it seeped away just as it came and he felt emotionally drained. Feeling weak, he fell back on his knees on the carpet and kept his gaze down, panting heavily. He wanted to go over to Tala. He wanted to know whether the redhead was okay or would he leave him too tonight.

"Sign this, Kai"

The teen swallowed and turned up to find his relative standing near him with some official looking page in his extended hand. Voltaire placed it in front of Kai and crossed his arms to wait for the boy's reaction.

And Kai did react. His eyes twitched in tiredness again yet they were alert nonetheless. It was a contract. And one more look clarified the bluenette that, in a nutshell, it was a contract that required him to sign his life over the twisted elder.

"I won't."

"What did you say?"

"I said I won't sign this, you sick bastard!" His head hurt badly yet he did not bother.

"Oh, is that so?" Somehow the senior looked even more amused at the reply. Grinning maniacally, he unfolded his arms, "Because you don't seem to have any choice at all, grandson."

Kai simply narrowed his orbs in exhaustion, too weary to glare. But he replied still, "I'm not yours. You have no right over me. The courts cleared that!"

"Yes, well, we all break a few rules sometimes Kai."

"Well this is a rule you'll have to live with, grandfather."

"I think not, Kai. Because all you have to do is write your name there and that will be all."

"I will not sign this! You can't make me!"

"Can't I?" Voltaire challenged with a smirk. Reaching inside his cloak, he pulled out a sleek silver revolver and pointed the barrel directly between the bluenette's eyes.

"Kai…!"

The said teen felt a freezing cold taking over his chest and growing till his whole body was numb. Yet he only narrowed his eyes, "I won't be intimidated by you, grandfather."

"Don't make me do this Kai."

"Kill me then!"

Voltaire seemed to pause for a second, contemplating on his next move. The grin reappeared on his lined face and he whispered back, "No…I have a better idea." With that, he turned fluently in the direction where the Russian redhead crouched against the couch and pulled the trigger.

The shot alarmed both the teens and they cried out simultaneously in shock. Kai sat there with his heart beating fast, the fire ringing in his ears and watched as the feathers of the cushion floated in the air before descending like snowflakes around his friend, "Tala!"

The cerulean eyed teen gazed up, only to fall down to dodge another shot that missed him by inches.

"NO! Stop it!"

Voltaire looked at his charge with a leer and clicked the gun again, "What's the matter Kai?"

"Kai, no, don't sign it!" Tala shouted through the pain in his ribs but his breath hitched up when the pistol faced him again. Though Voltaire was at the moment only threatening Kai by shooting openly at him, it was plain that he would not stop to literally hurt the already injured redhead.

Kai looked into his grandfather's eyes before hanging his head in defeat. Voltaire had won. It was over. He didn't want to sign it…He can't…He shouldn't. Yet he knew there was no choice. He picked up the contract, not even glancing through for he already knew once it had his name on it, everything will be back in the hands of the senior; his inheritance, money, his whole life in general.

Voltaire grinned in triumph as the shoulders slumped somewhat. Pulling out an ink pen from his pocket, he offered it to the teen near his feet, "Here you go, Kai"

Kai wanted to run. He didn't care if he had any place left to go but he wanted to simply run. He wanted to get away…perhaps even to his boyfriend. He didn't care if Ray would kick him out or will not let him in. He just couldn't take it…couldn't stand it…couldn't stay.

His fingers trembled as he took the offered pen and looked again at the page on the coffee table. His hand was shaking too badly while his vision was blurred thus he couldn't even make out where to sign his name. An aged hand steadied his shaking and moved his own to the end of the contract where there was a single line for signatures.

Kai could hear Tala shouting at him but couldn't understand. He could feel his freedom slipping away from him yet his mind was shutting down. And lastly, he could see a pair of sad golden eyes waver before his own sight but knew there was no chance of ever meeting them again. He signed.

His grandfather's uncouth laughter filled the firmament and that was last thing he heard before he passed out. His head hit the floor yet he didn't feel anything, anything at all. A single tear finally escaped his closed eyes and fell on the carpet, absorbed into nothingness…

---

End Flashback

Kai stared down the balcony, memories flooding his mind as it was.

I lost everything that day…everything…

And it was true. He had nothing to live for then.

But now, the evening's encounter with Ray fresh in his mind, he wondered did he have anything left to lose now? The answer was plain, no. So should he try…should he go back…try to make up? He could of course. But he didn't know how.

Kai looked away with a distressed sigh. Seeing Lee and Ray together tonight had been extremely painful and it made him wonder what dirty cards the lion had played to gain his ex-lover's attention and affection for that matter. That bastard had wrecked their lives and now he had his arms around Kai's boyfriend. To say the bluenette was furious at that was a dry understatement.

I want you back, Ray. I really want you back.

Kai turned his eyes to the heavens above and felt a single raindrop land on forehead. It stayed there for a while before sliding down on his nose, descending to his cheek and trailing off his face.

'People have their own dignity and honor if you haven't noticed till now, you bastard…'

'…I'm not your whore Kai! I refuse to be an easy lay this time!'

'…Go away…away…away…'

Still staring at the cloudy sky, lit now and then by mild lightening, he parted his lips and let out the words of a song he composed around two years ago,

"…It's not that I can't live without you,
It's just that I don't even want to try…
Every night I dream about you,
Ever since the day we said goodbye…"

He lowered his head and clutched the railing again as the true waves of grief hit him. Yet his lament went unbroken as he closed his eyes and swam into the depths of the words,

"…If I wasn't such a fool,
Right now I'd be holding you,
There's nothing that I wouldn't do,
Baby, if I only knew…"

A sad smile crept to his lips as he spoke out the next lingering sentences in a melody worth million tears,

"…The words to say,
The road to take,
To find a way back to your heart,
What can I do?
To get to you,
And find a way back to your heart…"

Crimson eyes reopened and Kai pulled out the ever present necklace around his neck. Though the silver surface was cool, his heart felt alien warmth in it. But he didn't open immediately it to see the picture of the person he was singing to. He just held the locket closely as the words automatically broke through his senses, their honesty almost painful to bear,

"…I don't know how it got so crazy,
But I'll do anything to set things right…
'Cause your love is so amazing,
Baby you're the best thing in my life…"

Clenching his orbs shut again, his heart ached as he continued his sad hymn, pliant lips parting in sensual movements,

"…Let me prove my love is real,
And make you feel the way I feel…
I promise I would give the world,
If only you could tell me now…"

"…The words to say,
The road to take,
To find a way back to your heart,
What can I do?
To get to you,
And find a way back to your heart…"

His eyes strayed at the snap in the locket and he felt overwhelmed with countless yet intense emotions. Turning back to face skywards, he pleaded, though the plea was headed to the same person whose picture resided in the jewelry piece,

"…Give me one more chance,
To give my love to you,
'Cause no one on this earth,
Loves you like I do…"

Kai stopped as the words flew out. He looked back to the snap and sighed before gently closing it,

"…Tell me…"

"…The words to say,
The road to take,
To find a way back to your heart,
What can I do?
To get to you,
And find a way back to your heart…"

He looked at the garden beneath him and smiled a sad smile, lyrics leaving his mouth with a note of perfection and marvel, never breaking or sounding anything less then excellently beautiful,

"…Oh, I turn back time
To make you mine…
And find a way back to your heart…
I beg and plead,
Fall to my knees…"

"……To find a way…back to your heart……"

Kai finished the song, stretching the ending note before falling completely silent to revel in the brief majestic aura created in the open atmosphere.

Oh Ray…

Perhaps he had been more absorbed in his thoughts then he would ever admit but Kai had yet to notice a second figure leaning against the balcony doors since he began to sing.

Tala trained his eyes on his friend, partially intrigued that Kai had not discovered him and mostly too dazed by the singing performance he had witnessed. He had seen Kai on guitar and singing before but there had yet to come a time when he was not touched by the guy's captivating tone; the lively intonation always holding a strong tinge of despondency and grief in it.

Cerulean eyes watched the other teen in woe, sensing the misery of the rejection. He was, to the least, shocked to meet Ray tonight at the ball. It had been a total déjà-vu when he had come face to face with the raven haired neko. Yet at the moment, he was more distressed at the turning of the events.

He stepped forward softly and came to stand behind the bluenette, placing one hand on the shoulder with a feather light touch. He was surprised when Kai flinched a bit at the contact and cursed Lord Hiwatari and his existence. With out even checking out properly, he could feel the marks of the belt beneath the simple shirt and sighed,

"Kai…"

"Hmm…?"

Tala didn't know how to respond and fought with himself to come up with something.

"It's been long huh?"

The red head turned to him as Kai stepped forward and placed his folded arms on the cool railing, leaning on its support, eyes straight ahead.

"So very long since we saw Ray…"

Also looking at the quiet garden ahead of them, Tala waited and did not reply. It was uncharacteristic of the bluenette to lead a conversation and he did not want him to stop just then.

Kai sighed, his warm breathing blowing the front bangs upwards a bit, "Don't you wish things would've happen for good? But then again, that's just wishful thinking."

Tala lowered his eyes to his comrade, noting the pale ghost skin and the tiredness in the eyes, "You're stronger than this, Kai. You've been through worse"

The guy did not answer but hung his head, closing his red orbs to hide the inevitable crystal sheen of water.

It had been over twelve months since Tala last saw Kai like that, almost vulnerable. He had moved to Kiev in Russian with Bryan after returning from Hiwatari Moscow Residence with heavy bruises. His boyfriend, now owning his uncle's business of computer software, was beyond furious when he had seen him after a week's torture in the hands of that bastard Voltaire and was quick to direct a restraining order against the senior Hiwatari not to come near him.

Thus, he was not allowed or barely able to visit Kai and two months drifted by. Despite initial denial from the lilac head, Tala had taken the risk to visit the bluenette after hearing that Voltaire was out of country on a business trip. It wasn't as if he wasn't allowed to see his best friend. Ironically, Voltaire never forgot to mention to visit them again soon. The only reason for his short stays and rare trips was the fact that the red eyed enigma restricted him, not only because Tala placed his own safety in danger but also because Voltaire could exploit their bond and cause even more menace.

It had turned out that the elder had returned before planned and found the redhead in the house premises, trying to find the two-toned head who seemed to have disappeared. Tala had been expecting the worse yet it was even ahead of what he had contemplated.

---

Flashback

Despite the structure looking old and worn out, the door opened silently and three figures entered the barely lit square chamber, a red head and two elders, one of whom had long grey hair and the rather bulky structure. A small corner bulb was switched on but it barely illuminated the room and rather made the darkness look more intimidating.

The grey haired aged man walked forward with a black staff having a steel phoenix head on the top. He walked to the other side wall where seemingly someone was sitting on the floor, head down and legs stretched forward with chains on the ankles while the arms were held above the head in a tiring painful way, wrists shackled to the padded stone walls.

"I was hoping you died back there."

Voltaire smirked as he stood tall before his grandson, "Still feisty as ever, eh Kai?"

"What? You actually thought a little shadow would scare me? I don't know whether you ever learn from your mistakes or are plain stupid."

"I see you've managed to gain some wits in these three weeks, Kai." Voltaire bent down to force the teen to look up. He met angry crimson eyes yet the intensity of the glare went unnoticed by the elder. Kai seemed to have lost more weight than he thought he would and his face told tales of malnutrition and lack of sleep, "Then again, I doubt they will last much longer."

Kai narrowed his orbs despite the dull light burning his sight, "Don't underestimate me, grandfather."

Voltaire laughed before crouching before the younger one and taking the pale smooth face in both of his hands. Kai tugged against his restrains, shaking his head in hopes of pulling away from the hold but to no avail. Instead it only amused the senior who took the liberty of caressing the unpainted skin, loving the reaction when the bluenette growled and tried to get away.

Failing to free himself from the dirty strokes of the other, Kai swore deadly, "Piss off!"

Immediately a hiss left his lips when a hand grabbed his front bangs and pulled them roughly upwards. His face contorted in agony and jaws clenched together forcefully when Voltaire tightened his hold and wrenched his head as if trying to rip his neck off the shoulders.

"It's rude to swear in presence of senior members of the society, Kai. You of all people should know your protocol."

"I'm sorry. I forgot whether that implies for insane faggots too, grandfather!" His reply was muffled through closed teeth. He bit his lip when the back of his head connected hard with the wall yet Kai refrained from crying out loud.

"I will have to take care of that tongue of yours, boy. But now, I have other matters." Voltaire let go of the light bluish grey hair and stood up to straighten out his cloak, "My return was not due till the end of this week. Do you know why I cut my trip short, Kai?"

"You went to the swamps due to home sickness but the ogres kicked you out because they don't like competition?"

Though he was clearly expecting to be back handed at that insult but still, it did not surprise him when his grandfather smirked again, "I must say, I missed this sweet mouth of yours." Voltaire latched down and claimed Kai's lips with his, not giving the teen to retaliate as he pressed him hard against the wall.

The bluenette arched his back to throw him off but the weak body could not. Kai panted slightly at the capricious move and seethed at his assailant when he was released. He grimaced and turned his head to avoid another one but shuddered when Voltaire kissed his neck. He bit his tongue in hopes of keeping his shivering in control but his defenses were already cracking.

"You truly fascinate me, Kai" Voltaire spoke, pulling back to look at the flushed panting face, "Each time I break you, you're able to lift your self back up again. What haven't I tried? You even beat isolation at its own game."

"You…you won't break me…I won't let you…"

"Why fight me, Kai? Why not accept your fate? Why not welcome my touch?"

"This is not my fate! This…"

"…is what you were destined to be, boy. One should never question destiny!"

Kai's body trembled at the words and swallowed. His feeble resistance had gained too many cracks and he was slowly crushing under the pressure.

Voltaire smirked in triumph when no witty answer left the slate haired teen, "You will submit to me, Kai. And once you do, I have other plans for you. And this brings us back to our first conversation. I went to meet the Vaclav family; the Trademark Entrepreneurs. And I must say that I find Lady Nikki rather entertaining."

Crimson eyes briefly widened in confusion before narrowing down all the same, "Assume whatever you want but I'll not consent to any matrimonial ceremony."

"That's for me to decide. You're still under my bidding. Or may be it's just that you're having a hard time letting go?"

Voltaire watched in twisted amusement as Kai paled when he pulled out a delicate silver chain with an oval pendant in the middle. Sitting down again, he grinned when Kai fidgeted at the close proximity, uncertainty written clearly on the vivid features. He had taken away that little relic of comfort ages ago. No doubt seeing it again in such consequences had tripled the insecurity within him.

"Does this reminds you, perhaps, of the good old times, grandson? When your pet was there at your every beck and call?"

His heart seemed to stop yet his mind was forcing him to lash out and kick, despite knowing its implausibility. Kai mentally flinched when the older man placed the chain back around his neck in a slow tantalizing speed, the callous fingers brushing his skin. But Voltaire only seemed to have begun. His hands rubbed his shoulders before slowly traveling down his torso, tracing the muscles before caressing his sides. Kai struggled uselessly in the hold and gasped when the hands reached his lower back,

"GET BACK!!"

The senior slapped him across the face at the loud shout, the strength forcing his head to hit the wall again. Voltaire took the moment of surprise and pushed his tongue in the sweet mouth of the teen, licking the back of his throat before pulling back with a satisfied look.

"Oh and curse my old memory, I almost forgot why I was so eager to rush back home to you, my dear grandson. I'm sure it will be a treat for you nonetheless."

Kai heaved slightly, the starvation and fatigue catching up with his tired body. It was apparent he was breaking. Nothing could hide it anymore.

The senior Hiwatari pulled out a single piece of newspaper from with in his cloak and opened it to mildly look at the international news, "I had some business at Botswana but I cancelled it when I heard the fabulous news during my short stay in Hong Kong. It seems your little whore is throwing himself a big party in honor of his latest achievement."

The bluenette felt as if the floor had been pulled beneath him. His mind shut down, unable to access the information before his eyes. Kai wished it wasn't what he thought it was but the snapshot was clear and the article simple in its writing, leaving nothing for excessive pondering,

'La Xian finally opened for business.'

'Hong Kong; Owner of over 69 restaurants in China, including The Deluxe, The Morikis and Shin Lee's, has inaugurated and added another four star restaurant to the long chain of eateries in honor of the 25th Anniversary of The Deluxe. The inauguration took place this morning at 1100 hours with the chief guest-'

This might seem to gain no concern whatsoever from any of the four people present in the sub basement's room but the side picture pulled a number on the two toned haired teen. Kai gazed with opened eyes at the snap taken and lost his remaining sense of sanity.

There, in front of the main entrance to the new restaurant, among the chief guest and the head chef himself, stood a tall teenager, no more or less than his height, dressed in a black and red Chinese dress with long raven hair wrapped in red bindings and the front bangs kept away from the golden eyes with a red and black yin-yang bandana.

Deadening silence pressed against the four walls of the chamber before it was broken when Kai banged his head back on the wall, parting his lips to finally scream in anguish.

Tala shrank back in the corners where he had been standing hidden from the view in the shadows as he watched his life long friend thrash violently in his restrains and scream out curses at fate. He watched with apprehension as Voltaire folded the piece of newspaper, turned and walked to the door as if nothing just happened. He passed the redhead a victorious leer before throwing a ring of keys on the dirty floor and left the chamber, his hired hoodlum closing the door behind with a snap.

Cerulean eyes squeezed shut as Tala was left alone in the dingy chamber with the other distressed teen. Letting out a shuddering breath, he grabbed the keys and reached the screaming bluenette. He watched in sorrow of what was left of the tainted being and felt his throat constrict when Kai turned away to heave in pain, the dry throat no doubt parched.

"Kai…" The redhead gently caressed his cheek in hopes of soothing his agony somewhat. Instead Kai edged away, tears now apparent behind the beautiful lashes. Swallowing down the lump that had appeared, Tala unlocked the chains binding the legs before opening the shackles around the wrist, slowly bringing them down. They seemed stiff as stone from the lack of movement and he noticed when Kai winced at the action.

Throwing away the restrains, Tala moved away when Kai tried to bring his knees up and wrap arms around them, regardless of it being rather painful. He touched the shaking shoulder subtly before placing both hands on the bluenette.

"He found him…"

Tala ignored the whisper though his heart clenched at the broken voice. He busied himself in straightening the other's attire after noting how badly it was ruffled and how loosely they hung his frame.

"I tried…I tried so hard…so badly…but couldn't. I couldn't find him…why him? Why did he have to be the one…why couldn't it be you…or Bryan…or…?"

"Kai…" Tala tried but was interrupted,

"Why is this always…always…why me?"

The cerulean eyes stung but the redhead managed to keep his tears at bay after hearing his friend's tone like that, "Kai, please…you're stronger than this. Ray will be fine…"

"No he won't" Kai looked up from his curled posture, shocking Tala when he saw the tears cascading down his face. He always cried silently, never once letting a sound thus it was imaginable why the redhead seemed highly disturbed, "Voltaire has the aces here…he knows it…and you know he won't stop it…"

Tala hugged him, wrapping his arms around his friend and hugging him closer. Kai meant the world to him and seeing him in tears was killing him from the inside. What hadn't he done for the bluenette to grant him a better chance at life? He had struggled with him when Kai had been fighting for their freedoms in courts and had started a brand new start in Japan with him by his side. When Kai found an interest in Ray, he had made sure the bluenette confessed his feelings for the golden eyed beauty. And when Voltaire had returned, despite being sent away, he had rushed from Russia to once more help the guy.

Just like now.

Kai had been the first one who befriended him when he was found homeless on the streets and took to the abbey by some strangers. Though everyone had pushed him away because of his eccentric looks and hair color, the little bluenette had first stepped forward to take his side. He had always tended to Tala's need before his and looked after him like his brother. It had also been Kai who saved him years later when the labs at the abbey collapsed due to an experiment gone horribly wrong. And when Tala had been subjected to some latest software technology and comatose due to the research and experimentation, Kai could no longer brook the brunt and went forward with a full fledged court case against the abbey.

"Hush…Ray is safe now and he will be…Kai please…" He added when the other fisted his shirt in what seemed like tension. The bluenette pulled away, not meeting his eyes and leaned backwards on the stone, apparently tired.

They stayed in silence as Tala wiped the tear tracks away from his face, partially because to assure it was what they seemed. The crimson dimmed further when he combed his hair with his fingers as if his mere touch caused him long forgotten agony. Tala stopped though when Kai closed his eyes and asked,

"Why did you come?"

"You know I would have otherwise, too"

"I told you to stay away. You know what he can do to you-"

"I don't care, Kai!"

"But I do! I don't want you to do this, alright! He'll only hurt you to do this to me!" Kai fell back from his shouting, heaving lightly, dark circles standing out more on the pale skin. He looked genuinely starved and worn out and it astonished Tala that he had been holding on for so long without any sense of comfort.

While the red head was still thinking over what next to say, the slate head spoke, "…He won"

A beat passed and Tala stared at him in disbelief, hoping for his ears had deceived him, "What did you say…?"

"He won alright…He wants me…He always gets what he wants…"

"Kai…you can't!"

"I'm tired Tala, I'm tired…" Kai mumbled, looking at him through the dark lashes, "…and Ray…I guess he has a life now…I don't want to ruin it for him…"

"You're giving up!"

"My pocket"

"Huh?"

"My pocket…check it"

Tala gave him a skeptical look before searching his pants pocket and finding a page in the left one, roughly folded in four. Kai took the time to pick the chain around his neck and caress the cool surface with extreme care, "I wrote these lyrics three weeks ago. But I couldn't complete it…didn't know how to continue actually. And then Voltaire came……and I just ended up here"

With deft fingers, Tala unfolded the piece of paper and saw the stanzas written in beautiful slanting writing. He paused to pass his friend a look, which was simply rolling the pendant in between his finger and thumb and started reading the lines,

'…Sound the bugle now - play it just for me
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on - I can't even start
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart

I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here…

Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere
Without a light feat that I will - stumble in the dark
Lay right down - decide not to go on…'

Tala paused at the last line, his heart filling with pain at the innocence of the words that relayed such anguish. He stared at the parchment before looking deeply over to Kai. The bluenette just played with the locket, humming in tune now and then with broken lyrics which seemed similar to the one written on the sheet.

"Wounded…so I must give up the fight…"

"Kai…why…"

"There's nothing more for me…Lead me away…"

"Stop it…"

"……I didn't know how to end it…"

"Get a grip!" Tala took his shoulders and shook him slightly but when the bluenette finally gazed up and crimson clashed with cerulean, he wished he hadn't done so. The eyes were empty, simply dead. This wasn't the soul he had met all those years ago. This wasn't the Kai he knew. And the deadness of the orbs just gave him another reality check, one he was again not too glad to know.

The spirit in Kai had been broken. It was tarnished before but now; it simply wasn't alive any longer. The orbs that once shone with determination, wittiness, responsibility, strength and a blazing inferno of undying passion and love now portrayed nothing but blank omission; conveying that he was also just human, just another suffering being.

"…I don't want to go on…I can't fight him any longer…"

Tala embraced him again, rocking backwards and forwards in slow motions, heart feeling a heavy loss. He couldn't help it and let the first of the tears escape his eyes when the whisper reached his ears,

"…I want to sleep…I'm too tired…"

---

End Flashback

Voltaire had succeeded in what he had been trying to do so for more than fifteen years and after that, tonight was the first of the nights when Kai actually disobeyed the senior.

We can't go on like this…he won't last much longer this time…Lord Voltaire wouldn't let him…

"Tala…"

"Yes…Kai?"

The bluenette rose a bit from his hunched position before letting out a sigh. He looked at him with weariness, "I know I've always asked too much from you…but I want this more than anything…"

Tala straightened up as well, looking at Kai directly in the eye, "You know I'll do my best."

The two toned head smiled a bit, "I know."

He turned to stare at the sky again, lost in thought. Tala couldn't help it and stepped nearer to wrap his arms around him in a brotherly embrace

"……I want Ray…Please bring him back…"

The redhead bit his lip but after some seconds replied, his voice promising and full of confidence,

"I will, Kai, I promise…"

---

If this would have gone any longer, you guys would have a dead authoress with a serious brain damage and system malfunctioning on your hands. And my lawyers (which I have to get from somewhere but let's look over this teensy weensy thingy) will sue you all!!

Okay, here are a few inquiries which I beg you to answer because seriously, I need to know and the fate of the next chapter depends on these.

1. The ages of Kai and Ray and others have been bothering me for quite some time and after being pointed out twice, I wanted a general opinion that should I alter them and make them older? That would mean re-editing the previous chapters all over again as I've been a bit too much in detail about the years and ages.

2. Then is the question of songs. I mean every other song goes with the story, literally. But I have this habit and many of you out there are bound to have it too, that in many fictions where the lyrics are just mentioned without proper reference, they do not interest you. So should I bother with them or not in the upcoming chapters?

3. Now this is based on an author's anxiousness. Are you guys able to catch the drift of the story or are there major loop holes present? Please point this out. And also, whether the flashbacks are being a nuisance or rather helpful, do tell me.

Any other suggestions about the plot, critique about OOC-ness and opinions about the future are more than welcome. Please keep me up to date with your thoughts for they matter a lot to me. Any complaints about the length of the chapters are also appreciated.

So readers, two days later, my papers will end finally! Please be grateful to this entry because much of my sanity, sleep, and study have gone to waste over this that it's hardly imaginable. To tell the truth these are only first three scenes out of the nine scenes beforehand planned in Chapter No. 3 but this chap is over 42 pages for lord's sake! I couldn't take it to possibly 90 pages! Hell, don't want you guys dozing off.

Please R&R with keeping all the aforementioned in mind. I'll be grateful.

Till next time,
Neena