Mina Sannin, Chunin exam style. Oh the joy!!

"C-crap," Jiraiya panted, trying to crawl across the forest floor to the shelter Tsunade had punched out of a tree trunk. This Chunin exam was turning into a total pain in the ass.

He wiped his bloody nose and looked around for his headband, which had been punched off and went flying. He cast his eyes around wildly for Tsunade or Orochimaru; preferably Orochimaru, who wouldn't kick his ass.

He tried to spit up some frog oil to slide across, but only a little dribble came out. When he heard a snake hiss, he looked around, his face full of hope.

"Orochimaru? Is that you?" he whispered, praying like hell Tsunade wasn't with him. He heard several more hisses and saw a snake slither toward him. He whooped with delight.

"Thank God! Manda, where's Orochimaru? I need help, and fast!" He felt slightly idiotic, but the snake was bigger than Jiraiya, and Jiraiya was a pretty big thirteen-year-old.

Manda hissed, showing his purple tongue. "Idiot. What the hell did you do? Orochimaru is catching me kids to eat for supper and he's not around. I would eat you, but Tsunade said to wait after the Chunin exams or else."

Jiraiya blanched. "Orochimaru is off killing other squads for you to eat?" He didn't seem to care that Manda had just threatened to eat him – he got those threats from Manda all the time.

"Tsunade is nearby, I think. I could go get her… I bet she'd be most interested in what happened to you." Manda gave a hiss/laugh that scared the hell out of Jiraiya, but Tsunade scared him more.

"N-no! Manda, come on! Don't do that! I'd rather be eaten! Please, please don't get Tsunade!" As much as Manda enjoyed watching Jiraiya squirm, it was a bit sad that Tsunade scared him so much.

"Alright, fine. But next time I won't be so generous." Jiraiya nodded frantically, and Manda allowed him to cling onto his tail. Manda then slithered to their shelter, and coiled up in a ball, his yellow eyes alert and vigilant.

A few minutes later, Orochimaru came into view, and behind him five large snakes, yet nowhere as big as Manda, were dragging twelve young kids. They were all dead.

Jiraiya, who now had two beautifully blossoming black eyes, let out a yell as he saw the twelve dead ninja. Orochimaru turned to him.

"Don't you want to become a Chunin, Jiraiya? I'm just wiping out the competition. Not that they're really threats to our squad, but they still qualify as competition. Some of them were challenging, but I eventually killed them."

Jiraiya shook his head disgustedly, and Manda hissed, "Twelve? I believe I said twenty! You dare not to fulfill my requests?! He uncoiled himself, his eyes spoke of nothing but fury. He rose himself in the air, his full length of six feet, five inches. Jiraiya tried to crawl over to the wall and squash himself against it, and Orochimaru backed away from Manda.

"Manda, please. I couldn't very well kill twenty genin! The proctors would get very suspicious, only about one squad – three ninja – die in the second task. Twelve is stretching it big time – that's four squads! And Tsunade is mad enough I said I had to kill at least six, but she'll be furious with twelve! Can you imagine her wrath if I killed twenty genin?"

Manda thought about what Orochimaru said, especially the part about Tsunade. He finally sank back down on the ground and retreated to where he lay earlier, dragging the twelve kids with him.

Orochimaru watched Manda for a moment before turning to the beaten up Jiraiya. "And what the hell happened to you?" He looked pissed, then wary. "Did a team stop by and pick a fight?" He looked furious again. "Did they take our scroll?!

"No, no! There wasn't a fight and Tsunade has our scroll, remember? I hope you got the other teams scrolls, too." Jiraiya nodded when Orochimaru held up four new scrolls.

"Well then, what happened to you?" Orochimaru asked, searching through the backpack Tsunade had left them full of ointments and medical herbs. Minor things they could use themselves if she was gone. He found the tube he was looking for and tossed it to Jiraiya.

Jiraiya put the ointment on his cuts and wrapped up his leg – he'd have Tsunade mend it when she got back. When he told Orochimaru what had happened, Orochimaru smacked him across the head, but Jiraiya's indignant yell was drowned out by Tsunade, who had just returned and overheard Jiraiya telling Orochimaru how he had gotten beat up.

"WHAT THE !# DO YOU MEAN, YOU WERE PEEPING?! And then Tsunade caused Jiraiya much more injury than the girls who had spotted Jiraiya spying on them.

Heh heh.