January, Day 14, Dinner, 6:30
Dinner is the silent affair that I always expect; the only sound meeting my ears is forks clinking against plates. I clear my throat as I look down at my hands resting on my lap, my mouth open to speak. Charlie stops what he's doing and looks up at me from his newspaper. Seeing my mouth open he signals me to continue. I smile softly at him and continue; "Would it be okay if I went somewhere Saturday?" I quietly ask him, ask not tell. I figured that I don't really have the pretense to tell him I'm going somewhere anymore, after the things I've put him through. He looks baffled for a moment, clearly not comprehending what I've just asked of him. "Did you just ask me if you could go somewhere?" he asks me, confusion clouding his voice.
His brows are creased and coming together in the space between is eyes, giving him the look of someone who is fiercely concentrating. I nod my head shyly at his question and resume staring at my hands.
"Well," is his response, "With whom?" I knew this question was coming, and I desperately wanted to avoid it. "Oh, just a friend from school Dad…" I answer him evasively, hoping he'll drop it. I should know by now that I'm not that lucky. "Which friend from school, Bella?" he asks me again, a slightly hard edge creeping into his voice. I can tell that he's thinking that I don't want to tell him because I'm planning on running away or something like that. He worries too much. I sigh and look him in the eye, silently begging with him to not make me tell him. "Unless you tell me I won't let you go." comes his stony answer to my pleadings. My voice is low and my eyes never stray from my hands as I answer him. "Mike asked me to go somewhere with him today at lunch and I told him 'yes'."
I can feel his stunned silence from where I'm sitting. After a few minutes I know that Charlie can barely contain himself anymore. I was right. Seconds after that thought passed through my head, Charlie's excited voice rings throughout the house; "That's great Bells!" I cringe away from his overly jubilant tone. "What are you two going to do?" is what comes from his inquiring mouth next. "I don't know, Dad. He did just ask me today." I told him, a little of the exasperation I felt finding its way into my words. "Sorry Bella," He apologized. "I'm just so excited for you. Mike Newton's a nice kid, he'll treat you right." He adds in a tone that was meant to be encouraging, but comes off accusingly.
I nod solemnly, trying to keep the pain I can sense creeping into the hole concealed. Charlie notices, something I feel immensely guilty about, clears his throat and says "Why don't you go ahead and go up to bed, Bella? I think I can handle the dishes for once. It's not fair that you always have to do it." He gives me a soft smile before grabbing the plates and heading for the sink. I nod my head once and shakily get out of my chair.
I can feel Charlie's eyes on my back until I get out of his line of vision. I start my way up the stairs, gripping the banister, fighting tears the whole way to my room. It's going to be another long night.