Edward's Point Of View
January, Day 14
I sit here and watch as my Bella tells Charlie about her 'date' with that vile Mike Newton. I expected it of course, but never actually thought it might happen. Bella always spoke of her dislike for Newton, so why would she do something like this?
"Because she's trying to forget you…" one of the voices in my head said. A stab of pain went through my chest, anguish and guilt taking over my mind. How could I leave my Bella? How could I have been so cruel to her? So deceitful? I loved her. How could I hurt someone I loved so much? My mind clouded over even more as the pain came on. The urge to cry took over, and all I wanted was to feel the hot, salty moisture flowing down my cheeks.
No. I shook my head defiantly. This was what was best for her. She can live a normal life now, now that we're gone... She can be happy, have kids, get married, be safe… I was a danger to her. I still am as long as I'm near her. But I just can't bring myself to leave her, not again.
Charlie's now saying that Newton will "treat her right" and his thoughts are trained on me and my leaving. I watch as Bella winces slightly, her muscles clenching as if for impact, her eyes getting darker. Charlie realizes what he's said and tells Bella to go up to bed, that he can handle everything down here. She goes up the stairs, her whole body shaking and gripping onto the banister all the way up. His eyes never leave her retreating form, worry occupying his thoughts and dripping from his being. Once she's out of sight, he sits back in his chair, his head in his hands and muttering out loud to himself all of the worries that plague his mind.
It's so much worse hearing them spoken aloud.
I go up to Bella's room, hours after she falls asleep; her heart's thrumming inside her chest at top speed and I wonder what she's dreaming. A sudden memory hits me like a ton of bricks, knocking me unstable; Bella screaming, Charlie trying desperately to wake her, her sobbing uncontrollably and saying "He's gone, he's gone" over and over again. Another nightmare. She's already started the light whimpering and uttering of my name. The longing to cry once again appears, and the want to tell her I am here makes another hit on my crumbling will-power. It's impossible for us to cry, and telling Bella is not an option. It would only hurt her, cause her even more pain when I have to leave because I've put her in danger once more. She lets out a low yelp, and I duck out of the window with the knowledge that she'll awaken in a matter of minutes, and I will be the first thing she sees. I jump lithely out of her window and run to my old house.
Alice came with me this time, seeing as how Emmett was hunting. "Well, how did it go?" she asked me curiously as I walked into the house. "Not good. She has a date with Mike Newton Saturday." I say, a little of the desperation I felt flowing freely into my words. I can feel Alice's shocked silence from where I stand at the front door. "Wow." is her one-worded thought; A million different images are spinning through her head. "Alice…" I moan quietly, the pictures becoming too much for me to bear, the pressure weighing down on me. "Sorry." She says apologetically. "Jasper should have come this time, shouldn't he?" She thinks, sorrow making the words sound even more pathetic. Jasper should not have to be cursed by my emotional struggles. "No, it's better for him if he doesn't. He already has to deal with the whole family; I'll just only make it worse. He needed a break, Alice." I reply to her in a distant tone of voice and state of mind. I've been feeling incredibly sorry for Jasper, his own emotions mixed with the depression and sadness of the family's, combined with my anguish, was getting to be too much for him.
"…Edward?" I hear Alice's high voice call to me. "Yes?" It's minutes before she's able to answer. "Why can't we just really come back? I mean, I know why you think we can't, but Edward, we can! She's only in more danger when we're NOT around, don't you see that?? Victoria is still out there, Edward! Who's going to protect Bella from her? Jacob Black and his band of cronies? They'd rather Victoria get her, she's only a nuisance in their opinion. She's not safe without us, Edward. And you ne-" "Alice, stop. This is my decision, not yours." I say to her roughly, my eyes turning even blacker. "Say out of it, Alice" I say coldly, turning on my heel and walking out. No looking back.