Time Slip

A Foreign Affair

Sam, Dean, and Bela land in Victorian England. Buckingham Palace, no less.

"Samuel Winchester." He bowed low, careful not to offend. The last thing they needed was to make enemies with the royal family. They were screwed as is being stuck in England, 1851. The only positive he saw was that they weren't in America because they'd probably be hung as witches. He kissed her highness' hand.

She nodded her head regally, and he passed by. Bela caught him at the corner, and carefully, but roughly grabbed him by the elbow pulling him close to her. She gestured to the ballroom where Dean was surrounded by a group of young debutantes.

"Sam, if your brother gets us exposed, I'll kill him."

Sam didn't blame her; they had a lot on the line right now. But if they were going to make it out of this one alive, Bela and Dean were going to have to work out something. He couldn't be their foil twenty four hours a day.

"If he gets us exposed, we're dead anyways so I don't think he'll mind much." Sam deadpanned.

Bela glared at him. "Come." She said, her voice polite and ladylike, but filled with daggers of a threat willing to be fulfilled.

"Yes, milady." Sam managed to choke out, when he saw the Queen's lady watching them with her ever present glance.

--

"Freakin' eagle eyes…" Dean mumbled under his breath as he looked back for the umpteenth time and saw that old bag watching him. She either was really interested in him in a way he really wasn't interested, or she thought he was—what was the word Bela, her most royal-ness accused him of…?

He headed over to the pretty blonde he spotted, sure that it would come to him later.

"Hey…lo. Good day." Dean finished quickly, remembering Bela's long lecture on the etiquette of using English not 'the slander that drawled out of Dean's mouth with appalling ease'.

"As a matter of fact Dean," she had said with her usual 'I know better than you' smirk, "It would probably be for the best if you didn't talk at all."

God, she could be such a…

Dean's voice trailed off as he came face to face with the pretty blonde.

"Ruby?" Dean's voice stuck in his throat at the sight of their resident bitch demoness. The only thing he had less of an inclination to run in to than Bela.

Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Shut up." She hissed.

Clearly, she had missed the lesson on using the Queen's English.

Undesirable!

Ha! He knew he'd figure out what it was. She had accused him of being 'undesirable' which in this time he assumed to mean…being an ass? He did have a very nice one. He smirked, and all those ladies knew it too. He wondered if those chastity belts were locked up as tightly as they were said to be.

He could always put his lock picking skills to use…

He was going to hell, and nuns were going to use him as their whipping boy.

"You can't tell me to…"

"If you want to keep your brother in one piece, and not cleaning his insides off of the wall of the great ballroom until the Revolutionary War…follow. Me."

Dean bit his tongue, and went along with her as much as he'd like to pull out the colt…that he didn't even have, and shoot her in the head.

Damn Sam, for dropping it when they got sucked into that vortex. He blamed Bela, that bitch was bad luck.

--

"Where'd Dean go to?" Sam asked Bela as the circled around the dance floor, suddenly realizing he no longer saw his brother.

And that worried him because after all, trouble was attracted to Dean lately, and the last thing they needed was to be turning heads when they were in the wrong time period.

Why couldn't Dean listen to him when he suggested that just maybe they do some more research before they wrote the time vortex in New York off as a hoax?

Bela couldn't object to the hand on the small of her back, directing her about the ball room, but this had about done it for her. She stopped quite abruptly, and looked up at him pointedly.

"Looks aren't everything, yes?"

"Huh?"

Teaching the Winchesters proper English was truly a lost cause.

"He's carving himself a pre-industrial notch in his belt." Bela elaborated.

Bela noticed the blank look on his face, similar to the vacant look that seemed to frequent his brother's visage.

It was a good thing that they were pretty.

She pulled him close so that their lips were just barely touching, and she was assaulted with some fantastic memories on just how skilled those lips could be.

"He was heading down the hallway with a pretty blonde conquest a few minutes ago." She whispered, enjoying the look of shock on his face.

Perhaps they should follow suit…she entertained the idea for a moment, before discarding it. Someone had to maintain in charge, and it wasn't going to be Sam or Dean. She quickly cleared her head of the idea.

Another time.

"Close your mouth, please. The vacant look isn't exactly an attractive look for you…" and was that ever a blatant lie, she couldn't think of a time when Sam Winchester was ever unattractive. "Let's go and get him, if he gets himself thrown in jail for ravaging a royal we won't ever get out of here."

--

"How the hell did you get here?" Dean asked, as he recalled, Ruby wasn't with him when that touchy bitch of a witch cursed the three of them, sending them off to the sexually pre-historic years.

"I was a witch, Dean. If I wanted to, I could make you swap bodies with the Hilton heiress before you could say 'I'm a cheap whore'."

He allowed himself all of a minute to contemplate that, and the merits of playing with himself in a girl's body before returning to Ruby's bitching.

"You're disgusting." She told him, practically able to see the wheels turning in his head, considering it.

"Look whose talking." Dean shot back.

"Listen, all you have to do is march your, and Sam's asses out of here without getting yourselves arrested and beheaded, or with ticking off the royal family, and really, you trying to bed the Duchess of York isn't helping…so try to keep it in your pants."

--

When she heard the sound of voices in the hallway, Ruby tugged on Dean's arm, pulling him so that they were only a few feet apart. She took advantage of his surprise to capture his mouth with hers. He had softer lips than she figured him for.

For a moment he was shocked, but the surprise assault opened him up quickly and he returned the kiss, feeling her lips part and his tongue slid in with ease, massaging hers.

He could feel her surprise like she hadn't expected his acceptance of it.

Winchesters, the only hunters that made out with demons.

Dean turned, pinning her against the wall, and letting the kiss turn deeper.

Time travel did wonders for his appetite.

--

"Oh my god." Sam's words came out in one big breath as he pulled the curtain back, and found Dean and Ruby. And not in a position he expected to find Dean and Ruby in.

It was just a guess, but he was pretty sure his brother his tongue down Ruby's throat.

Bela watched, stunned. So much for ethical hunting…she should have known, Dean Winchester was a slut no matter what time period he was thrown into.

The fact that she'd contemplated doing that to Sam only minutes ago, escaped her as Dean reeled back with a sharp slap across the face from his formerly willing partner.

Bela smirked, this was better than television. She wondered if she was enjoying this too much, but decided not. Dean more than deserved it.

Sam was so not okay. He had a new rule…No more going anywhere near demons with breasts 'cause Dean didn't know how to keep his hands, or his lips, or anything attached to his body to himself. He was still fairly traumatized from the incident in Ohio, he had seen more of his brother than he ever wanted to see.

--

"What the hell was that for?" Dean objected, rubbing his cheek, Jesus! That had hurt.

"I'm a demon, not a cheap whore." Ruby shot back, annoyed, "It's because you don't know the difference between a cover, and a free taste."

Bela grinned, this was thoroughly enjoyable.

"And what the fuck is she doing here?" Ruby's eyes fell on Bela. "Sam, I told you to stay away from her. I gave you an order. Part of my keeping your ass alive is that you listen to me."

Dean stifled a laugh, wondering who would win in a cat fight. Bela verses Ruby…he would pay good money to see that.

Bela took a step towards Ruby. "So, this is the Winchesters' new keeper, yes?" She looked her over. "Funny…she doesn't look like much, I guess its true what I hear about Dean Winchester having low standards."

Ruby lunged at Bela and then…couldn't, she hit the floor with a thud, in a rather ungainly position.

"Not so fast." Bela smiled, so that annoying, heavy amulet was worth its price. She pulled it out from her dress, dangling it. "You should keep this one Dean, she goes down easy."

Dean actually took a moment to contemplate that statement, and came to the conclusion that if Ruby heard his thoughts…he really wouldn't need to be concerned with becoming puppy chow.

Ruby glared at her dangerously, before the apocalypse hit, she was going to kill Bela Talbot. Slowly. Painfully. Might make a game out of it. Invite other demons. Her own personal demonic version of Deal or No Deal.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing screwing around with her? I gave you one simple order. Stay away from the rich, uptight, bitch."

Bela took a few steps back until she was standing next to Sam, and enjoyed the irritated look on Ruby's face.

"Hey!" Dean objected, "We so don't take orders from you."

"You so do." Ruby countered, "That is if you ever want to get out of this hell hole."

He would like to have sex again before he died, and he somehow didn't picture it happening in this time.

Propriety and chastity was overrated.

It was all well and good for Sam…his brother could deny that he was having nothing to do with Bela, but Dean knew his brother; and Sam had the 'look'.

Lucky bastard.

They could get stuck here forever, and his brother was going to have Bela, and he had…what? A demon that abused him that he wasn't supposed to kill?

This. Was hell.

--