Remember Me

He glanced at the timer on his table, observing that the invisibility potion still had
five more minutes left to simmer. He rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes, they felt gritty and sore, he'd spent most of last night tossing and turning, at last deciding sleep was a lost cause. That was when he'd gone down to his lab, leaving Maverick snoozing by Amelia's feet on the bed.

He'd forbidden the dog to sleep on the bed, but inevitably the dog ended up there, no matter how many times Severus scolded him and made him lie on the floor. Typical. He would have to put up with a dog with a mind of his own, who only obeyed when he felt like it.

"Reminds me of his master," Amelia had remarked one day, earning her one of Severus' famous "Snape glares".

When he'd woken at 3AM however, he hadn't bothered to drag the big beast off the bed, he was too tired, though not tired enough to sleep.

Funny, this was the first insomniac night he'd spent since Amelia had moved in with him. For almost all of his life he'd slept alone, battled his demons alone, and thought nothing of it. It was simply the way things were. Then along came Amelia and gone were those solitary days forever.

The empathic magician emanated an aura of serenity that enabled him to sleep deeply and dreamlessly, better than any sleeping draft he'd ever brewed. Except for that week when she'd been overwhelmed with her own nightmares.

He'd left her sleeping the sleep of the just, pulling on an old black robe over his nightclothes, since it was chilly in the lab, and sliding his feet into cracked leather slippers. Amelia had offered to buy him new ones, but he'd refused. His old ones might be worn, but they were. . .comfortable. Perfect for puttering about in his basement laboratory.

You know the reason you can't sleep, hissed the truthful part of his mind. In two days she'll return to America, to her life as a Dark Hunter, and who knows if you'll ever see her again? Oh sure, she said she'll write you, but once she gets home, she might choose to forget she ever knew you. Severus Snape? Oh yes, that was the guy I had an affair with way back when, poor introverted sod, went on to become a professor, of all things.

Amelia's not like that, his heart whispered. You saved her life and she saved yours, she loves you—all of you—and she would never forget you. You're being utterly ridiculous.

And yet, he had the strangest foreboding that once she walked out the door, he would never see her again.

More foolishness. He put no stock in prophetic dreams or divination, regarding it as the most imprecise and ambiguous of all the magical disciplines. The cryptic words uttered by a half-mad seer had indirectly caused the deaths of James and Lily Potter. He would never trust such again.

So he shrugged off the premonition as the product of a mind that was sleep-deprived and upset at losing one of the few people he trusted and the only one he'd ever loved.

She promised to return someday, he reminded himself. If she can, she'll keep that promise. And if she can't, then I'll go and find her. What is an ocean to a wizard, after all? It's true nothing good in my life ever lasts, but this is one thing worth fighting for. The timer went off, chirping like a phoenix. He moved over to check the contents of the cauldron, giving the silvery iridescent liquid one last stir before putting out the fire. He carefully ladled the liquid into small glass beakers, neatly labeled in his characteristic elegant tiny script.

He circled his wand counterclockwise, muttering a disinfecting charm that scoured out his cauldron, leaving it sparkling clean, ready for the next elixir he would brew up.

Five AM.

He still felt a lingering tiredness and an aching behind his eyes that wouldn't go away. Two days. That was all the time they had left. It wasn't enough, but it was all they had.

If only I could make a potion to save time somehow. To stretch it out, make it last,
one moment unto infinity, so I'll never have to say goodbye. Regrettably, not even magic can accomplish everything. We can move through time, manipulate it on occasion, but in the end it is the one force all of us must bow to. That and death, of course. He thought about mixing up a batch of Polyjuice potion, or rearranging his dried herbs, anything to keep busy so he wouldn't brood about how empty the house would feel once she was no longer in it. Desolate, cold, lonely. He'd almost forgotten the way it had felt.

True, he'd be leaving for Hogwarts a day or two after her departure, so the silence wouldn't have time to grow on him all that much. Then too, there was Maverick, his dog now, since Amelia refused to take him back with her.

"He'll be good company for you once I'm gone. Dogs make wonderful listeners, they never get tired of hearing your voice, and you can tell them all your secrets and they'll never betray you. They're always happy to see you too."

All of that was true, but though he liked Maverick, the dog was no replacement for Amelia. Nothing could ever replace Amelia, not even another woman. She was the one and only, he would never risk his heart a second time.

Perhaps his teaching duties at Hogwarts and his more clandestine assignments for the Order of the Phoenix would keep him so busy that he wouldn't have time to miss her.

Ah, who am I kidding? No matter where I am or what I'm doing, she'll be there, and
I will miss her every day, waking and sleeping, like an amputee missing a lost limb.
Dumbledore always said love was the greatest force in the universe. I always sneered
at him, thinking him a sentimental old fool. But he was right, blast him! Look at what love has done to me.

It was easier before, when I didn't give a damn about anyone and no one gave a damn about me. Now that I've known love, how will I ever live without it?

One day at a time, Severus, his inner voice chided. One miserable day at a time. A pair of warm hands gripped his shoulders lightly. Startled, he jerked his head up to peer over his shoulder. "Amelia! Did I wake you?"

"No. What are you doing down here at this hour?"

"Thinking."

"And worrying."

"A bit."

"A bit?" He felt her eyebrow go up. "Sev, you're so tense I'm surprised your shoulders aren't cracking like an ice statue. No wonder you couldn't sleep."

She began to massage the back of his neck and shoulders, her small yet strong fingers finding all the knots and kinks in his muscles and rubbing them away.

His head drooped and he shut his eyes. Tired. . .he was so tired . . .and her hands were like magic on his stressed muscles. Gradually, the throbbing behind his eyes eased.

"Feel better?"

"Yes. Don't stop."

She continued her ministrations for several more minutes, until he felt as though he could fall asleep standing there.

"What's bothering you?"

"You don't know?" He reached up to clasp her hands in his own.

"I won't read you without permission, you know that," she reproved gently. "I know you're worried and upset, but not why."

"I would have thought that was obvious."

"You don't want me to leave." She leaned her head against his back. "If it's any consolation, I don't want to leave either. Maybe we should switch places—I'll go teach and you can go apprehend crooks."

"Much as I'd like to, I can't. My place is here, fighting
alongside my colleagues," Snape said regretfully.

"As is mine." She came around to face him and he held her tightly. "What is it all those army types always say? Duty before desire. I'd say that describes us to a T."

"Unfortunately." He made a face. "You know what they say about long distance relationships—they don't last."

"We'll be the exception. We can write to each other every week."

"Every week? Why not more than that?"

"Because once you start grading tests, papers, and homework, you won't want to see a quill or a piece of parchment, trust me." Amelia predicted.

"Damn kids!" he muttered balefully.

"Now, now, Professor. Don't be prejudiced against your students before you even meet them."

"How can I not be, when they're part of the reason keeping me from you?"

"Circumstances are keeping us apart," she corrected softly. "At least for now. Who knows, in a year or two, thing might be different. Remember, nothing is impossible with magic, my love."

"Ever the optimist, aren't you?" he said with just a hint of
sarcasm in his tone.

"Better than being a pessimistic pain in the ass."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you need to stop making yourself miserable over something you can't change. Going into your new job with a chip on your shoulder the size of a polar icecap isn't going to help anyone."

He stiffened, not liking her tone at all. "I'm not going into teaching because I want to enrich kids' minds or make their future brighter or any of that other crap," he snapped. "I'm doing it for a cover, Dumbledore gave me the position to salve his own conscience after I agreed to risk my life as his spy. I took it because I need the money, not because I can make a difference in the lives of those children."

"But you will, Severus. You won't be able to help yourself. I know you. You might snarl and grumble and act like you hate them, but underneath all that sarcasm and sharp temper, you care for them. Just the way you do for Maverick."

He looked away. "That's a load of bull."

"Is it? Severus, no matter how hard you try, you aren't going to be able to keep them all at a distance. You can play the strict, cold- hearted Potions Master all you want, but one day a student's going to see right past that to the man beneath and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it," she lectured, frowning up at him.

"So, now you're a seer as well as an empath, Amarotti?" he sneered. "Shall I fetch you some tea leaves or perhaps a crystal ball so you can predict exactly when this auspicious event will take place?"

"Damn you, Snape!" she spat, jerking free of him to stand scowling at him, her hands on her hips. "Don't pick a fight with me just because you're insecure and scared and that's the only way you know how to handle it!"

Stung by her assessment, he lashed back with, "When I require an expert mental assessment, Doctor, I'll bloody well ask for it!"

"The only thing you're asking for, Professor, is for me to knock you on your ass, you smug twit!"

"That'll be the day," he laughed mockingly.

The next thing he knew, he was sitting on the floor and his jaw was throbbing like seven hells.

For one moment neither of them moved, they simply remained staring at each other.

Severus rubbed his jaw gingerly. "Where did you learn to throw a punch like that?"

"Academy self-defense class," she said softly, not meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sev. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

"Why are you apologizing? I asked for it. I'm the one who's sorry."

He climbed to his feet, wincing slightly.

"Better put some ice on that jaw before it swells."

"Right." He looked her up and down, a rueful crooked grin on his face. "Last time I ever argue with an Italian. You weren't kidding about that temper."

"That's not something I'm proud of," she said, hanging her head. "I've fought all my life to control it, but you'd never know it from the way I just hit you."

"You were provoked. I don't know what in hell's wrong with me. The last thing I wanted when I got up this morning was to pick a fight with you. Next thing I know, my mouth's running two steps ahead of my brain," he said disgustedly.

"My mom always said you could tell how upset a guy is by how many stupid fights he starts before breakfast."

"And how hard you need to deck him to knock some sense into his head, am I right?"

Amelia nodded. "I'm never taking her advice again."

"Why? I'd say it worked . . .like a charm."

She groaned. "That was really bad, Sev." She snapped her fingers. "Here. Maybe ice will numb that sarcastic edge off your tongue." She held out an icepack.

"Not bloody likely, Miss Amarotti," he chuckled darkly, cradling the ice to his stinging face. "My mother always said my mouth could provoke a saint."

"And heaven knows, I'm no saint," she said wryly. "Let's forget this ever happened and eat breakfast. I'll make you some oatmeal."

He shot her a sulky look, then followed her up the stairs. He would never admit it, but she had a better right hook than Sirius Black.

They spent the rest of the day in each other's company, desperate to wring every second they could out of each hour. They Apparated back to their secret glen and had an impromptu picnic, where they ate Chocolate Frogs, strawberries, and ham salad
sandwiches, washed down with a bottle of honey wine.

Afterwards, Severus lay with his head in Amelia's lap and read aloud one of his Lost Potions of the Ages books.

When he'd finished the chapter on elixirs of youth and healing, she bent and kissed him gently, mindful of his sore mouth. "I love you, Severus Snape, even if you're a pain in the ass sometimes."

"I'm luckier than I deserve," he smiled up at her. "I'm beginning to believe in such things as second chances."

"Nothing is impossible if you believe in magic," she returned impishly.

"Be careful when you go back to work. Don't let some blasted Dark Wizard jump you and hurt you."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"If you will promise me the same. Be the unseen shadow, Sev. Hide yourself away, and don't let those bloody Death Eaters find the real you."

"I promise."

She cupped the phoenix locket in her hand, gazing at it lovingly. "I will treasure this, and you, for the rest of my life."

"I will love you from now until forever," he whispered, kissing her gently. "If you ever need me, send for me and I'll be there. Anytime."

"But your job with Dumbledore . . ."

"If you ever need me, send for me," he repeated, cutting her off. "I mean it. Nothing matters more to me. Nothing."

"Severus! If you break an Unbreakable Vow, you'll die. I will not be the cause of that."

"How will my helping you break my Vow? We're both on the same side. I will walk through hell and back for you, I've done it once and I can do it again. Therefore I'll tell you once more, put aside that stubborn pride, Amarotti, and send for me if you need me. For anything."

"If there's no other choice, I will," she agreed at last.

"Fair enough," he said and let it go. This was not the time to push, he didn't want to get into another fight with her. "When do you have to leave?"

"The day after tomorrow. I, uh, don't have a definite departure time, but it ought to
be sometime in the morning. It'll take Fireflash and me about three hours or so to get back home to New York City."

"Will they assign you a new case right away?"

"No, I think they might let me work on, uh, profiles or routine patrols for a week or so, to get used to things again. Then they'll reassign me to find another lawbreaker."

"Do you miss it then?"

"Actually, yeah. I really love my work, it means a lot to me to be doing something that matters—that will help make people's lives better. Sort of like your job, Sev."

"I'd hardly equate being a spy or teaching as the same as being a Dark Hunter."

"Why not? We have plenty of undercover agents who do much the same work as your Headmaster assigned you. It's how we gain most of our intelligence on necromancers. We consider them valued members of our task force because they take the greatest risks. It's an important job, but it's also not one everyone is suited for. It takes a special kind of person."

"One who's skilled in deception, betrayal, and subterfuge, among other things."

"No, one who's courageous and dedicated to a cause he believes is the right one," she corrected softly. "You're an honorable man, Severus, don't sell yourself short."

"I'm no paragon, Amelia."

"Did I say you were? None of us are perfect, and that's the way it should be. You're no knight in shining armor, Snape, but neither are you the devil you think you are."

"You sound awfully certain of that, Miss Amarotti. Beware the sin of pride, Dark Hunter."

"That's not pride, that's an empath talking, Sev. One who knows your heart like she knows her own. And it's not black, but composed of light and shadow, like anyone else's. We all have flaws, you maybe a bit more than most, but you've worked hard to overcome them and you've succeeded. Believe in yourself, my love. I do."

"Heaven only knows why."

"Stop it!" she ordered sharply. "Stop tearing yourself down like that. Listen to me, Severus Snape, and listen good. Whatever you were, that man is not here before me now. A different man stands before me today, one who has learned to trust and love, that's the man who risked his sanity for me, to free me from my own devils. Oh yes,
I know the cost of the dreamwalk spell and why so few wizards will attempt it. Fail and you're lost, trapped forever in the mind you tried to save. Yet you cast that spell without thought of yourself, and I let you into my mind because I trusted you not to hurt me or take advantage of me. That's something no one else can claim. I don't let just anyone inside my head, not even my family. Only you, because only you had a snowball's chance in hell of facing me at my worst and surviving it. An empath's at her most deadly when she's scared and angry, did you know that? Yet you walked into my mind without batting an eyelash. And you didn't just survive, you healed me. Do you know how you did that?"

"Not really."

"Love. Your love for me was stronger than the fear and hate I felt. Now tell me how a selfish man can love another that way? He can't. But you can."

"Because you taught me."

"No, all I did was give you an opportunity to demonstrate the love within you. You can't teach love, Sev, it has to come from within. You have to want to love, else no one can make you. That's the one truth every empath knows." She stated. "No force on earth can make that Dark Lord Voldemort love, because he doesn't want it. He prefers to be empty, cold, and heartless. Like Slade or any of the countless others we Dark Hunters stalk. It's not something you can hide, Sev, and I would know if you were one of them. And you're not. You never were."

He hugged her to him fiercely, unable to refute her logic, unable to articulate the relief her words gave him. For once his sharp tongue was stilled, rendered mute by the utter conviction she radiated.

He loved her more than anything, she was the very best thing he'd ever known, and she in turn loved him. It was like a mathematical equation.

Amelia was good.

He loved her.

She loved him too.

Therefore he was good.

Inescapable logic. He had no choice but to accept it. Despite all the mistakes, all of the sins he had committed, he was still a good person, one worthy of love and being loved.

She saw in an instant when the revelation struck him, felt him shiver with unadulterated joy, and she kissed him, flinging the gates of her mind wide, allowing him to share his newfound epiphany with her.

Come with me, Severus, she urged soundlessly. You have given your soul wings, now let me teach you how to fly. Come with me, beloved. He touched her mind, allowing her to lead him upward to a place he'd touched only in his dreams. Together they soared into the heavens, no longer two separate entities, but one—body, heart, and
soul.

That last day in the glen would never be forgotten by either of them. It was one of the defining moments of Severus Snape's life and it was one he drew strength from when things were at their darkest later on in his life.

Two mornings later they bid each other goodbye, and their parting was sweet sorrow indeed.

"Remember me," she wept into his shoulder.

"Always," he murmured, brushing her tears aside with a fingertip. "Come back soon, my love."

"As soon as I can." She kissed him one last time, a bittersweet kiss full of love and longing. "Until we meet again, Sev."

He helped her mount Fireflash, bidding the bronze a safe trip across the Atlantic. "Take care of her, Fireflash."

"You bet, kid. Behave yourself, ya hear?"

"I'll do my best," Severus laughed.

"Be seeing you then. Goodbye and good luck!" Fireflash called, then launched himself skyward in one tremendous leap.

Severus watched the bronze dot in the sky rise higher and higher until it vanished from sight.

Then he sat down on their favorite rock, drew his knees up to his chest, and wept softly. Remember me, she said. Oh, Amelia, how could I forget the woman who gave me back my heart? Forget you? Not in a thousand lifetimes. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift back in time, recalling the way she had felt in his arms, the scent of honey and lemon that clung to her skin, the golden echo of her laughter, the brilliance of her smile.

Until we meet again, Amelia Amarotti. I just pray it's soon.

At last he felt the chill of evening seeping into his bones and he winced and rose to
his feet.

How long have I been here? he wondered, stretching stiff muscles. All day, I think. Bloody hell, Snape, you've wasted a whole day indulging in a pity party! His inner voice scolded. Enough of this nonsense, pull yourself together and get on with your life. You don't have time to waste feeling sorry for yourself, you've got a class to
teach tomorrow. He scolded himself briskly all the way down the trail, mentally
reviewing the notes he'd made for himself weeks ago, class lists sent to him by Dumbledore, and the approximate amount of ingredients he'd need from the school stores to teach these first lessons.

Now, let's see. I'll need powdered newt tongue, pearl dust, hair of a black dog . . Oh, hells! I forgot about Maverick! Snape swore roundly. The big dog was not accustomed to being alone all day, there was no telling what he'd do if he became bored.

Severus Apparated, vanishing from the Highlands and reappearing at his house in Spinner's End in mere moments. He flung open the front door, fully expecting an unholy mess, only to be greeted by a furry whirlwind that sprang up to plant both
paws on his shoulders, nearly knocking him flying.

"Ugh! Maverick, down!" the Potions Master commanded in his sternest tone.

Which had absolutely no effect upon the big dog, who began enthusiastically licking his formerly absent master from forehead to chin.

Normally, such behavior would have elicited several stinging comments regarding the dog's ancestry, hygiene, manners, and brains. But that afternoon, the Potions Master simply ruffled the dog's ears before pushing him off and letting him outside.

Severus went inside, discovering to his relief that the dog had behaved himself for once, and only chewed a corner of the rug near the couch, which he mended quickly with his wand. Then he conjured a large bone for the shepherd-collie and sat down in the recliner, staring morosely into the fire.

Maverick sensed his master's unhappiness and when he returned to the house, he did not try to entice Snape in a game of fetch or tug-o-war the way he usually did. Instead, he came and put his head on Snape's knee, as if to say, See? You're not alone, I'm here. Severus absently petted the dog, smiling sadly. "You miss her,
don't you, boy? That makes two of us."

Maverick whined softly, looking towards the door, ears pricked.

"Hey, quit that," his master ordered gruffly. "She's gone and that's all there is to it, understand? All good things come to an end, you know."

Maverick wagged his tail.

"Of course you don't know, you're only a dog," Severus muttered. "Why am I talking to you as if you can understand me? I must be losing my mind."

He nudged the dog with the toe of his boot. "Go and lie down while I get supper, fleabag. Drool on the rug, not me you ignorant furry imbecile. Haven't you learned any manners yet?"

Maverick cocked his head, then pounced on his bone, gripping it in his teeth and growling playfully.

Snape shook his head at the dog's antics, which were threatening to knock over the coffee table. "Impossible animal, I don't know why I put up with you. I ought to just open the door and let you play in the street, with all the other delinquent puppies . . ."

The man grumbled all the time he cooked his solitary supper, but he fed Maverick the second steak he'd cooked, same as always. Then he played fetch with the dog outside until Maverick was tired.

Snape went to bed late, finishing packing for his trip to Hogwarts. He crawled under the covers, which were warm from Maverick's body. He opened his mouth to snarl at the black dog to sleep on the floor, where dogs belonged, then closed it.

"Move over, you big oaf. This bed wasn't meant for a ninety-pound carpet. And don't you dare drool on my pillow, or else I'll stuff you and mount you and give you to that brat Imogene next door."

Maverick opened one eye and winked sleepily. Then he snuggled deeper into the blanket, drifting off to sleep again, the Potion Master's hand buried in his ruff.

Hope you all are enjoying this so far! Something tragic happens next though, so be warned!