Chp 4: Love and Sorrow

"Kikome," said Souzou. "Your birthday is coming up. 15 years old?"

I nodded, cleaning my sword with a cloth.

"What do you want?" he asked, sitting behind me.

I leaned on him, admiring the rays of light reflecting off the sword.

"Nothing much; my life's good. Sword's good too; not gonna ever rust."

"What about a kimono?" he suggested mildly.

I sheathed the sword. "Never worn one in my life, and I don't plan to."

"Well, maybe it's time to get you one," he said. "Every woman should wear one once in a while."

I sighed. "Wearing one will make me feel too…I dunno, girly?"

"Yeah, Kikome is too much of a tomboy to wear a kimono like other pretty girls," Sano-chan's jeering voice said, his head poking from under Souzou's arm around me.

"Hello, Sano-chan," I greeted, banging his head lightly with my sword. "And you too, Katsu," I added as Katsu appeared beside us.

"So what do you think, boys?" Souzou asked. "Do you think Kikome should get a kimono?"

"Yeah, we've never seen her in one," Sano-chan said.

"And you never will," I said, standing up and sliding my sword in my belt. "I'm turning 15 in two weeks; I have a lot to do then, so I'm afraid I can't go choose one out."

"That's alright," Souzou smiled. "I'll just go choose one out for you; I tend to have a good taste for women's clothes."

"I'm fine, Souzou," I said in a strained smile. "I don't really need it."

"But you want it," he said happily, standing up and walking with me, Sano-chan and Katsu behind him. "It's okay, I'll get it for you."

"Seriously, Souzou, I don't want it," I growled.

"Okay, okay, fine," he said reluctantly. "But I'll get you something."

"What?"

"You'll see." And that was the end of the conversation.

Two weeks passed by fairly quickly. I didn't care about my birthday too much, but I couldn't help wondering what Souzou was going through the trouble of getting for me. I brushed the thought aside and kept working hard with the rest of the Sekihotai. That day, however, Souzou came up to me with something behind his back.

"Something wrong, Souzou?" I asked.

"Of course not; I just couldn't wait to give you your present, so here it is," he smiled, throwing a sword.

I caught it and unsheathed it. The blade glistened brightly, it's tip sharp and well-crafted. I flipped it in the air and caught it. It was light and swift, easy to wield.

"It's beautiful," I said breathlessly. "Where in the world did you get it?"

"Let's just say I paid a visit to Shekku Arai and he crafted a very nice sword for me," he said with a wink. "I'm glad you like it."

"Shekku Arai? The famed swordsmith of the age?" I asked, still admiring the sword in the sunlight.

"Mm."

I sheathed the sword and hooked my arms around Souzou's neck.

"Thanks so much," I said. He wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling my neck.

"Your welcome," he replied. "But that's only one of your presents. The other one's in my tent. Why don't we go get it?"

"Uh…I guess."

I followed him to the tent. He went inside and came out with a rectangular box in his hand.

"Souzou, you didn't…" I stared at the box, understanding what was going on.

"Yes I did," he said cheerfully, opening the box. "It's time you started wearing a kimono, Kikome, especially if you haven't worn one in your life."

"Souzou, you weren't supposed to," I said, staring at the kimono. It was dark red, long at the end and sleeves.

"It doesn't really matter," Souzou shrugged. "I thought it matched the Sekihotai uniform, so maybe it'd look good with your ribbon."

I frowned. "It wasn't really a good idea. I don't even know if I'll wear it."

"That's alright; I thought you should at least have one."

"…Thanks, Souzou."

"It's not a problem."

I snuck in my tent, making sure no one saw me. Seeing that no one was near by, I carefully opened the box and looked at the kimono.

It's a shame to let something as pretty as this go to waste, I thought slowly. Maybe…just this once…

I looked beyond the tent curtain for any shadows. No one was passing by. It wouldn't hurt to just try it on…

I carefully dressed out of the Sekihoutai outfit and into the kimono, tying the bow tightly in the back. I undid the ribbon in my hair, letting it fall gently over my shoulders. Digging into my bags, I found a small mirror and removed the cloth covering it. Not really much to see…the mirror was too small.

"It looks great on you," a voice said behind me. I fell headfirst in surprise. Regaining myself, I turned around to see Souzou leaning against the pole of the tent.

"Souzou!" I exclaimed.

"See, I knew you couldn't resist the temptation of trying it on," he said, closing his eyes. "Choosing one out was worthwhile after all. You are so predictable. I followed you and saw you sneaking in your tent, and I knew that you were going to try it on."

"So, did you by any chance see me changing?" I asked evenly, trying to keep myself under control.

"Heh, of course not," Souzou said nervously. "I'm not that bad."

"I'm sure you're not," I said in the same tone. "Now go away; I'm gonna change back."

"Why not wear it a little longer?" he suggested.

"No thank you," I said shortly.

He sighed, resigned, and left the tent. I dressed back into my uniform and cautiously wrapped the kimono in a cloth, leaving it for me to take later. Fastening both swords to my belt, I exited the tent and headed to the fire, starting to cook.

I'm not going to wear that kimono ever again, I thought. I just wanted to try it on…maybe because I haven't really worn one before. Stupid Souzou… I linked my arms around my knees and smiled, careful not let anyone see me. But I guess it was for the best… A tint of pink reached my cheeks.

Fifteenth birthday signified a full year with the Sekihoutai. It was evening, and the sun had set faster than normal. I couldn't help get the feeling that something was wrong. The wind blew harshly, contrasting greatly to the gentle breeze of the afternoon. I carried a small bag over my shoulder, inside was the kimono that Souzou had bought. The army was on the road back to Kyoto, when Souzou spotted something in the midst of the wind.

"Hm…it looks like someone's coming. Perhaps a message?" he suggested with a light shrug of his shoulder.

The figure on the horse galloped nearer, stopping in front of the army. He had whitish hair and a stern face.

"Souzou Sagara, captain of the first unit of the Sekihou Army, I presume," he addressed without a bow.

"Yes, I am," Souzou bowed respectfully. "May I help you?"

"I am Shindou Tatewaki, and I have orders from the government general. Follow me," he commanded, steering his horse towards a campsite in the distance.

"Government general?" I murmured under my breath. "That's odd…"

Souzou turned to me and smiled. "It'll be fine. Come on, Kikome." He tugged my sleeve gently. I walked with him to the campsite, the feeling growing stronger as the wind stopped blowing abruptly, hushed as death. Death…

"I come with direct orders from the government general," Shindou said imperiously. "The Tokugawa government is ashamed that a false army, calling themselves the Sekihoutai, has been spreading rumors that the government would halve taxes. Is that right, Souzou Sagara?"

"False?" I said, shocked. "What are you talking about?"

"That's impossible," Katsu argued. "We were taking direct orders from the government general himself!"

"Yeah!" Sano-chan agreed. "That's a lie, you big—"

Souzou silenced him with an authoritative gesture of his hand. He closed his eyes calmly, then reopened them.

"It never had really occurred to me that this would happen," he stated coolly. "But now that I think about it, it was obvious. It seems that the government has been having financial problems lately, and cannot hold up to the promise that they told the citizens of Japan. So they decided to hold the Sekihoutai Army responsible, framing them as a false army to cover up their problems. To them, the Sekihou Army was nothing but pawns in the playing field. Am I right, Shindou-kun?"

"Heh, even if you were right, Sagara, it wouldn't matter," he said evilly. "Because you all are going to die tonight!"

He raised his hand, and with a hidden dagger, slit the curtain behind him, which revealed hundreds of armed gunmen. I took a step back. The fire in front of us had lost its warmth, its comfort. The air around us had become deathly still, no movement, no breeze. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't…just a dream. But it was. The scene was painfully real. The still air, the motionless wind, all of it, was a living nightmare.

Then the command came, like a bullet whistling in the wind. "Fire."

The army regrouped in front of us. I drew my bow and notched three arrows, shooting with impeccable aim. We wouldn't last long, that was a fact. Souzou had drawn his sword, slicing what he could. The bodies of our members fell, still, in front of us, bullets protruding from their chests.

Souzou staggered back, hit by three bullets. I silently helped him stand up as the other remaining members formed another wall to give us time. Grabbing Sano-chan's hand, and with the help of other members, we went into the forest. The ground was no longer green, or brown. It ran red, licking the blood of the Sekihou army into its grasp. I grimaced and shifted Souzou's arm around me as Sano-chan took his other arm. Katsu was no where to be seen. The members that had been with us had bided us time by holding up the gunmen. I staggered forwards, only greeted by a cliff. Dead end.

"Go, both of you," I heard Souzou manage to say.

"You've got to be kidding," I growled, placing him gently on the ground and drawing my bow. "I'm not about to leave any time soon. If you're about to die, then I'll make sure that you won't die by some damn government dogs who can't keep their word. You go, Sano-chan."

"You're out of your mind!" Sano-chan protested. "I'm dying here with the Sekihoutai too! If we die, then, I'll die as well."

"Go!" I urged, releasing my arrows. "Stop being plain stupid and jump! You'll survive! Hurry up and jump!"

"I won't!" he exclaimed, a panicking look in his eyes. "Stop being bossy! I can fight! I am part of the Sekihoutai too!"

"Stop being noble, Sagara Sanosuke!" I yelled, firing my last arrow. He stopped. "I know you don't have a last name, so you'll take Sagara! You've got to live! Hurry!"

"But…"

"If you don't, who will be the survivor of the true Sekihoutai?" I demanded.

"I…"
Souzou made one gathered gesture and pushed him off the cliff, down to the water below. I knew he would be alright. Souzou did it for my same reasons. Spotting some soldiers, I cursed and drew my sword, stabbing it into the ground.

"Hiten Mitsurugi Style! Do Ryu Sen!" A blow of wind erupted from the ground and in to the gunmen. There were so many…when had they multiplied? Shindou came walking out, smirking.

"It's useless," he sneered. "We'll let the boy go because he won't survive anyways. But you two…you could…and ruin the government!" He signaled the gunmen to fire again. I felt a bullet lodge into my shoulder, another into my right leg. The gunmen loaded their guns again, preparing to fire. I felt someone tug my shoulder. Turning, I saw it was Souzou, staggering back on his feet.

"S-Souzou," I stammered. "Come on, we can jump…"

He shook his head and drew his sword. "You know I won't survive, Kikome. I'll die either way. You can live though."

"I won't go without you," I said firmly, positioning myself. "And if I die, I'll be sure to drag this Shindou down with me."

"Go." One word, said so firmly, so defiant. It meant everything.

"You can live," he smiled calmly. "So jump. Live…" He pushed me slightly, and I lost my balance. "…and love again…"

Live…and love again…

"SOUZOU!"

I felt myself hit the icy cold water, washing over me. That was it…

My fifteenth birthday…a cold, windy night…the afternoon and evening had been normal enough. But that night, that time, became the worst night of my life, and those words…they stuck in my head forever, and I knew they would, until the day I died…