The Darkest Day
A year went by, and gradually Severus began to accustom himself to his dual role of professor and spy. He contacted Lucius Malfoy again and pretended to be his ally, telling him that Voldemort had ordered him to take a teaching post at Hogwarts to spy on Dumbledore. A blatant lie, but what Lucius didn't know wouldn't hurt him. He agreed to keep in touch with his old schoolmate by specially coded letters, sent at certain times of the night by his tawny owl, Nightfall.
He wrote to Amelia once a week faithfully, sending his missives off with Nightfall, putting a special spell on the bird so the letters would arrive by Express Owl Post, for he wanted her to get them as soon as possible. He told her the more interesting anecdotes of his day, how Maverick was doing, and any number of ways his students were driving him crazy. (He longed to throttle at least one a day, but managed to restrain himself. They soon learned not to be disruptive during his class, for his detentions were no laughing matter.) Yet he found he enjoyed demonstrating his methods to them, especially the ones who actually listened to what he had to say and asked intelligent and thoughtful questions.
She always replied promptly, though her letters were sometimes brief, a few lines here and there, the occasional photo, scribbled inbetween cases.
He teased her about her penmanship.
Amelia,
I can barely read this chicken scratch. Did you fail handwriting in third grade, dear? Some of my eleven-year-old students write more legibly then you do, I'm sorry to say. Good thing I'm not grading this, I'd take away ten points and make you do it over.
Prof. S. Snape
She wrote back.
Stuff it, Sev. See how well you write, Professor, on the back of a dragon flying a hundred miles an hour over a Texas dust storm. I think even your feathers would be ruffled, Mr. Perfection. Give Maverick a hug from me.
I miss you.
Love always,
Your Amelia
I miss you more, beloved, he thought wistfully, then scowled down at a student's homework essay.
I see you didn't even bother to read the material, Mr. Johnson. Ten points from Hufflepuff. Merlin grant me patience! Amelia's letters were the high point of his week, he checked the post every morning for a creamy envelope with the Dark Hunter crest—a golden hound tracking a set of clawed footprints. Beneath was the motto "We always get our quarry". He spent the Christmas holidays doing endless experiments, playing with Maverick, and dreaming of Amelia. Whoever had invented the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder had been dead on target, for he missed Amelia even more now than before.
Then, one week into his second term of teaching, he received a letter from her saying she was working on an ultra top secret case for the Department of Magical Defense.
Real hush hush, black ops assignment, so I can't give youdetails, Sev. I won't be able to write for awhile, so don't get nervous if you don't hear from me for a few months.
The Department's been hunting this one for years, and if I can collar her it'll lay to rest a number of vengeful spirits, as well as make my name a household legend. But first I have to corral the slippery worm. She's kin to Slade, at least it seems that way. Wish me luck. Talk to you soon.
All my love,
Amelia
P.S. I've got a surprise for you. You're really gonna love it. I'll tell you more when I finish this case.
He raised an eyebrow at that last. A surprise I'll really love? Like you coming back to visit? He dearly hoped that was the surprise she was talking about, for he longed to see her with an almost physical ache.
The next week there wasn't a new letter. He wasn't alarmed, she had probably started hunting the dark magician, going deep under cover. He silently wished her well.
Two months went by. Then three.
Still no owl came.
He sent Nightfall out with a brief note at the last address she'd given him, but there was no one there.
By the fourth month he was growing increasingly edgy, dreaming of her nightly, locked in a duel with a faceless black- cloaked figure reminiscent of Voldemort.
He brushed the dreams aside. Don't go off half-cocked, Snape. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
The fourth month came and went and still an owl did not come.
Severus had just finished grading a stack of fifth-year O.W.L.'s when he looked up to find Dumbledore standing before him. The old wizard looked unusually grave.
"Severus, may I have a word with you in private?"
"Certainly, Headmaster. My office or yours?"
"Mine, if you please."
Severus put away his papers, locking his office door, then followed the Headmaster. "Something wrong with my curriculum this term, or is it . . .another matter?" he lowered his voice to the barest whisper.
"Neither, Severus," Dumbledore said heavily. "I'll explain once we're safe from prying eyes and ears."
Severus was puzzled by that reply, but did not press the Headmaster further. Dumbledore would reveal his secrets in his own time, or not at all.
"Fizzing Whizbees," Dumbledore spoke the password that opened the secret stairway to his inner sanctum.
The two wizards stepped inside the Headmaster's office. All the portraits on the walls looked sad. Snape wondered what was wrong with them.
Dumbledore gestured for Severus to be seated before his desk. "Sit down please, Severus." He reached under a stack of papers. Fawkes the phoenix gave a trilling chirp, and Severus could have sworn the bird was looking at him pityingly. "This came for you today from America," Dumbledore announced.
"America!" Snape exclaimed eagerly. "I have a . . .friend there that I was waiting to hear from. She must have finished her case . . ."
"She did, though not in the way you think," Dumbledore said, his eyes bright with sorrow. "I'm sorry, Severus."
He drew forth a black bordered envelope and handed it to the other wizard.
Snape took it, at first not comprehending what he was seeing.
This looked like official stationary, not the casual parchment Amelia
used. And the handwriting wasn't Amelia's casual cheerful scrawl, but another more professional script.
It was addressed to: Professor Severus Snape
c/o Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"I don't understand, sir. Why did you receive this letter and not me? It has my name on it."
"The Headmaster always receives letters of this nature, Severus. So that he may break the news gently . . .do look at the envelope again, please."
Snape did so, and this time the black border leaped out and decked him in the jaw.
A black border on a letter of this sort meant only one thing.
"No. This can't be happening . . ." he whimpered. "It's a mistake . . ."
"You have my deepest condolences, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly. "I'll leave you alone, if you wish."
Severus felt his mind swirl in panic. The black border. You know what it means. You know. His chest tightened, until he found himself gasping for breath. His hands shook, causing the black border to waver and blur.
It's not true. It CAN"T BE TRUE! His mind babbled, running in circles like a caged rat.
Suddenly he couldn't stand being inside four walls any longer. They were crushing him, smothering him. He needed air, he needed to get away from the castle, away from his Headmaster's knowing sorrowful gaze.
Crumpling the letter in his fist, he stood up abruptly. "Please excuse me, sir, but I can't stay here . . .I need . . .I'll be right back, I just need a moment . . ."
He bolted from the office, racing down the stairs like a man possessed. He emerged from the castle panting and disheveled, his
hair flying every which way.
Broom. I need a broom, he thought frantically, summoning his from his quarters. I can't Apparate within school grounds. His broom soared toward him, hovering in place. He sprang on it and shot across the grounds, ignoring the startled exclamations of several students walking back from the greenhouse.
"Wonder where old Snape is going in such a hurry?"
"Probably going after some poor sap who didn't finish his Potions homework. I feel sorry for whoever it is, the Professor looks mad enough to spit daggers."
Their idle chatter washed over him like the wind blowing, he barely felt it.
At last he was beyond the school grounds and he landed and Apparated directly to the secret glen.
Only this time, the peaceful aura of the glen did not soothe and comfort him. For nothing could comfort him ever again.
His knees gave way and he sank to the ground. His hand opened, revealing the heavy stationary with its ominous border.
Don't open it. Don't open it, his heart howled.
But his hands were working independently of his heart, breaking the seal and unfolding the parchment.
. . .Hunter Amarotti wished you to be notified in case of her untimely death We, the United States Magical Association, regret to inform you . . .Hunter Amarotti fell in the line of duty, fighting a very powerful dark magician . . .For her valor and dedication and her years of exemplary service we will award her the Order of Merlin First Class posthumously . . .our deepest condolences on your loss, Mr. Snape . . . There was more, but he could not read it, the writing was blotchy and illegible, though why this was he could not fathom.
Amelia's voice echoed in his head.
Remember me . . ."Amelia. Amelia." He sobbed raggedly. "You promised to return to me. You promised!" he howled. Until we meet again . . .only now we never will. There was a fiery burning in his chest. My heart . . .where is my heart? Dead and buried with her. Then he curled into a ball and began to cry, hopeless tears of rage and endless sorrow.
I love you, Sev. . .
Nothing is impossible with magic . . .
You're the very best thing in my life. . . .
Once again I am alone, truly alone, forevermore. Alone in the darkness and this time there is no light to guide me, for the light has gone out of the world.More Than Words
Sev's Poem for Amelia
You told me that you loved me,
Once upon a summer's day
Which meant the world to me
More than words can say
You told me that you loved me
Then you flew away
Now I wait for your return
More than words can say
You told me that you loved me
My heart rejoiced that day
I'm still waiting anxiously
More than words can say
You told me that you loved me
I promised I would always
Yet I'm still waiting hopefully
More than words can say
You told me that you loved me
Then you died today
Now I'm alone, my heart is stone
Filled with words that
Now I'll never say.
--Severus SnapeA/N- this is not the end, part two is coming up soon! That's when you get to meet Sev's daughter, but until then I have two short stories that come inbetween this part and the next one--A Friend In Need and Saving Mrs. Norris--featuring Maverick, Severus's rascal dog, which take place directly after this last chapter. So read them if you would!
(lines written after he learned of Amelia's untimely death)
Reviews welcome!