Part Three

House and his team sat around the table in the office doing nothing, until the writer of the fanfic comes along, realises he's left this on pause for a LONG time, picks up his remote control, and presses play.

They suddenly spring into life.

"what are we doing here?" Chase asked, looking round the room "last thing I remember, we were in the patient's room, and ... he was dying"

"Oh don't look so shocked" House said "Whenever there's a medical emergency that the writers don't know how do deal with, we cut away right back to another scene where its just taken as granted that we've already dealt with it! If you don't know THAT by now, then you're stupid and I might just fire you for an ex-plastic surgeon, a professional Indian defibrillist, a Bisexual girl, and ... hell, cant think of anyone I'd want to replace Foreman with"

Cameron stood and slammed her hands on the table "This is unacceptable! You're ruining the story for anyone who hasn't seen Season four yet!". House just looked at her, raised an eyebrow, and went back to the whiteboard.

"so, all of the previous work we've done on the patient hasn't worked. We've only managed to get him stable by doing a lot of immensely complicated things off screen, all of which are much too intricate to be explained now. There must have been something we missed on the tests"

"not possible" Foreman said, "we've put him through all of the tests we can think of and nothing else came up. We didn't overlook anything at all, I'm sure of it"

"Of course you did!" said House "In fact, you should know that you overlooked something, because EVERY time all your findings are proven wrong, there's always something wrong in the tests that you did. Either you missed something in the test that you did, or your tests got a false negative or something wrong like that. Its happened SO many times I'm amazed you're not used to it"

Foreman sighed "Its not like its my fault. That's how my lines are written. I can't help it, so stop digging at me about it"

"Your lines are written like that, and mine are written to make fun of yours, so deal with it, I'm having fun here"

House opened his bottle of Vicodin, took one, and tossed it back into his mouth.

Foreman sighed "fine then, ill do your stupid tests!"

-jump cut-

House sits in his office, playing with his cane, even though he has an infinitely more interesting computer standing next to him.

"We've found what the problem was" said Foreman as he walked into the office. "One of the tests had been a false negative, and we've started the patient on the new treatment. He should be getting better in no time"

House glared at him and stood up "no he isn't!"

-jump cut to right outside the patients room, although strangely the conversation hasn't moved on any more, and Chase and Cameron are somehow there-

House walks into the patient's room. He looks up at House and smiles

"I'm feeling much better Dr. House, thank you. I should be well enough to leave soon"

"No you wont!" says House angrily, looking at his watch.

"why?" the patient asks

"because this is the end of part 3 ... we still have the last part of the episode to go"

Ad Break 3