A/N - Thanks to everyone that takes the time to review.
Placing his forehead on the glass window of the baby unit, Dan watched his little girl sleeping peacefully in her crib. He had been stood there for an hour to scared to move. All of his confidence had slipped, last night he had all the fire in the world, he was sure to bring her home, but the realization of it happening today brought fear in his heart. Despite his fear he couldn't help but let a smile play across his lips as he glanced at his sleeping beauty.
Molly looked exactly like Serena, she had the beginning of her mother's beautiful blonde hair, which Dan was sure would turn into the long flowing locks that Serena's had. Her little cute button nose, though she had Dan's big brown eyes. The resemblance of his two girls brought tears to his eyes.
"Mr Humphrey would you like to feed your daughter?" Nurse Susie said as she appeared at Dan's side with a hopeful look on her face, she knew Molly needed her daddy more than ever right now. It had been a few days since Dan had walked out of the hospital on that deadly day.
"Umm, I don't think I can, I don't know how to" Dan said sheepishly
"Come on I'll show you" Susie said with a smile
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Dan and his daughter made eye contact for the first time as he peered over her. Her little innocent eyes, she didn't know any different. She was wrapped in a baby pink blanket with a pink hat to match.
"She's so tiny" Dan whispered as he reached inside. She wrapped her tiny fingers around his index finger.
"She is, now make sure to support her little head as you pick her up"
"Like this?" Dan asked as he placed his hand behind Molly's head and the other around her back before gently lifting her out and cradling her in his arms as he sat on the rocking chair.
"Yes, just like that" replied the Nurse. She handed him the bottled milk and continued to instruct him.
Dan felt so proud of himself, he was doing it right, even managing to wind her as well. But panic struck through his body when Nurse Susie told him she had something to check on, leaving him alone with the baby.
Baby Molly started to stir and whinge as Dan tried to rock her back to sleep, becoming flustered and losing his cool Dan attempted once again to calm her down
"Ssh, ssh, stop crying…..stop crying, what's wrong with you god dammit, why wont you settle"
Almost as if sensing his stress Molly made even more of a commotion. Upon hearing the baby's cries the Nurse came back towards the window just to check everything was ok, but the sight she witnessed wasn't the one she was expecting. She was sure she would find Dan walking around with Molly in his arms trying to comfort her, begin the bond that had so obviously been lacking since her birth. Instead she saw the little girl in her crib crying alone and Dan nowhere to be seen. The anxiety he felt of not being able to soothe and comfort her had most likely got to Dan she thought.
It felt like Déjà Vu to Dan as he once again found himself running out of the hospital doors, trying to escape. He didn't know which way to turn so he let his feet do the talking, directing him. If he couldn't even get her to stop crying how could he ever be a good dad to her he thought to himself.
Rain began to pour down on a depressed and tired Dan, not caring that he was only in t – shirt and jeans and that he was getting soaking wet he decided to sit down on a nearby bench letting his thoughts and feelings free.
'Please don't be disappointed in me Serena, I tried but she didn't like it when I just held her. She doesn't love me; she doesn't even know I'm her daddy. She'll be thinking 'where's mama', she hasn't come to see me yet. How do I tell her when the time comes that although she can't see mama, she's always looking over her, watching, but she'll still feel your love, still feel the kisses on her cheeks, please help me Serena, what would you do'
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Lily and Eric had invited Blair over for dinner; they couldn't sit through another silent and uncomfortable meal alone. Serena had always been the one who was cheery and chatty at the table, sparking off many conversations, she lived up to her nickname of The Chatterbox. Lily had called her that ever since she was able to talk, once she uttered her first word there was no shutting her up.
"Have you been in to see the baby, Blair?" Lily asked
"No not yet, I'm going to go see her tomorrow……………..how's Dan coping?"
"He's err, he's not doing so good, he did tell me he was going to see Molly today though, I'll speak to him later, find out how he got on"
Part of Blair didn't want to go into the hospital, she was afraid of seeing the little girl, Lily had told her that she looked just like Serena, and she didn't really want to face the reality that her best friend was truly gone. She knew that as soon as she looked into Molly's eyes she would see Serena.
Eric had shut himself out from the world, he became depressed and timid. He had always been very close to his sister, whenever he had a problem she was always on his side, fighting his corner. Lily was watching him like a hawk however, afraid he would hurt himself again, Eric had tried to reassure her that he would never do something like that again as Serena would be disappointed with him, and he knew she would be watching. There were times when he wanted to though, to try and release his pain and anger.
After finishing up their dessert Blair put on her coat and made her way to the door.
"Thank you for inviting me, it's been a nice change"
"Thank you for coming, get home safe"
After returning home Blair pulled out a box from her under her bed, the box contained pictures of Serena and herself throughout the many years they had known each other, smiling, pulling faces, at bar's, school events you name it and they had a picture of it, together. She took a certain picture out and looked at it with tears in her eyes, it was a candid picture of Serena.
"I really miss you"
She put the picture beside her bed, she wanted to take it into the hospital tomorrow, place it next to Molly's crib so that she would forever be with her.