Ladies and Gentlemen, please. Would you bring your attention to me? For a feast for your eyes to see? A story of awesomenestisity. Haha that's right. Here's the next chappy.
Oh, bye the way, I don't own Naruto. If I did, Anko wouldn't wear the trench coat. wink wink (I don't own the song either)
Zetsu's voice will now be separated.
"Hello." Is the white side.
"SUP." Is the black side.
Chapter 3
The Day in the Life of an Akatsuki
KABOOOM. "DAMN IT, DEIDARA. WHEN I SAID TO PICK UP THE FUCKING TRASH, I DDNT MEAN TO BLOW IT UP YOU BLONDE SHIT." Hidan's loud voice rang out throughout the lair, and so did Deidara's laugh. Will had become accustomed to it, and was pretty much "one of the guys." He banged on the door to the bathroom. "KISAME. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO TAKE A BATH?" he yelled. He heard Kisame inside doing the Jaws theme. Will sighed, and held up a hand sign. Suddenly, Kisame ran out of the bathroom, screaming. "HOLY SHIT THAT'S COLD." Will froze the water just enough to where he could get out, but it was freezing. Will smiled in triumph, and walked in and shut the door. Then, he heard the shouts of Itachi telling Kisame to wear something.
It was another boring day to the lair. The usual sounds of the slicing, screaming, and praying inside Hidan's room had become normal to the young Akatsuki. Also was the snoring of Itachi on the couch. He snickered as he watched Kisame and Deidara put shaving cream on his hand and tickle it with a feather. With a satisfying PLOP, the shaving cream covered Itachi's face, leading to fits of laughter. They ran, though, when they noticed Itachi waking up. Will ran outside. THUMP. "MUTHAFUCKA WATCH WHERE YO GOING." The voice was definitely familiar. He turned and saw Zetsu. "Ohhh shit I'm sorry dog. I didn't know it was you. I apologize." Zetsu said. "No problem man. I'm just running from Itachi." Will said. "What for?" "The old shaving cream and feather trick." Will said. "Hahah. That never gets old. I'll tell you that, Will dog." He said. "Thanks." Will said. Suddenly, Deidara ran by, screaming. He saw Itachi following after him. "LET'S SEE HOW YOU FEEL WITH 72 HOURS OF NO EXPLOSIONS." Itachi yelled. "Um, I'm gonna get the hell outta here." Will said. "Peace dog. Good luck." Zetsu said. Will nodded and ran to the lair.
He found Konan. "New mission." She said. "Fuck. What now?" Will asked. "Back to Konoha." She said. "For?" He asked. "Destruction." She said. Will smiled. "Let's go." He said. As they rushed out the door, Itachi stopped them. "Where you going?" He asked. "Konoha." Will said. "Say hi to my brother." He said. "Ok. Hey….what's that on your nose?" Konan asked. Itachi's eyes got a little wide as he wiped it, seeing more shaving cream. "I was shaving before, and missed a spot." He said. Will was trying to not laugh. "Mkay." She said, and they left. Will laughed the whole way to Konoha. They reached there by nighttime. Will tied several bomb tags to kunais and threw them at the Hokage's tower. KABOOOM. The tower was set ablaze. "Geez, Will. Be sneaky, why don't you?" Konan remarked. Suddenly, a scream. "Uh oh. Someone's inside. Hehe. Maybe it's the Jugkage." Will said. Konan gave him a weird look. "Jugkage? That's weak." She said. "Milkage? Or maybe KILF." "KILF?" She asked. "Kage I'd like to…" "CHIDORI." A yell broke their conversation. Will turned and grabbed Sasuke's hand, and broke it. He screamed in pain, and Will threw him into the burning tower. The screams and yelling woke Naruto. He ran out of his house, and saw houses aflame. He noticed a figure, and recognized it. "WILL." He yelled. He turned.
"Grand. The Nine-Tailed fucktard." Will said. He turned to Konan. "You gonna stand there with your finger up your nose or do something?" he asked. She sent paper flying everywhere, slashing people. "Hmm. COMBUSTION JUTSU." He yelled as paper burst into flames and burned people also. Naruto had enough time to charge up a Rasengan. "RASENGAN." He yelled, and charged at Will. Will sidestepped, and kicked him in the head, right into a Kakashi who was running around the corner. "Impressive. But you will never get the more handsome devil in the village." Will heard. Konan was about to shit a kidney laughing, as Will turned around and saw Mighty Guy. "I am Mighty Guy." He said, jumping and charged at him with his foot out. "DYNAMIC ENTRY." Guy yelled. Will grabbed Guy's foot. Guy's eyes got bigger then they usually are. "Torture Syle: NERVE BURN." Will yelled after a quick one-handed sign. Guy hit the ground, screaming in pain as all his nerve endings were being burned. Konan flung a piece of paper, flying by Will. "What the fuck was that for?" Will asked.
Will turned and saw an ANBU, sword drawn, with a piece of paper stuck in his throat. "Ohh. Thanks." Will said. "Konan just smiled. Sasuke just got out of the burning tower. "Oh, you're brother says hi." Will said. Sasuke yelled in anger, his Sharingan eyes activating. "Hmm." Will said. Will appeared behind him, and chopped him in the neck. He hit the ground, unconscious. "Didn't see that coming, did you?" Will asked. "Come on. Let's go." Konan said. The two ran out of the town, leaving the still-burning remains. Suddenly, a foot came out and tripped Will. He hit face first. "OUCH." Will yelled. He looked up to see a very nervous Konan. Will stood and turned. Naruto was breathing heavily. He looked up, and his eyes were red with slits. His long canines shined in the light of the fire, and his nails became claws. "Oh piss." Will said. Naruto yelled in anger, and charged, running on his hands and feet. Will tried to get out of the way, but was hit with a flurry of punches to fast for him to see. Will hit the ground, hurt. Konan jumped in and tried to fight Naruto, but was tossed off to the side. Suddenly, Will shot up and grabbed Naruto by the neck.
With one rush, Will slammed Naruto into one of the city's walls. Will brought him back, and then smashed him into the wall, causing that section to fall down on Naruto. Will turned, and nodded to Konan, and they ran back to the lair. They arrived early morning, and Will slept till noon. He tried to get into the bathroom, but Itachi stopped him. "Congratulations." He said. "Oh what?" Will asked. "You're now an S-Rank criminal. You burned Konoha to the ground, and almost assassinated the Hokage. Impressive." Itachi said. "Thanks. Oh, and your brother sends his love." Will said. Itachi just smirked. "Go take a shower. You smell like ass." Itachi said. As Itachi was walking away, Will couldn't help but laugh at the sign on Itachi's back saying "Kick me."
Alright. That's the end of this chapter. If you don't like my story, then whoops. You're lucky I don't send Itachi to make it so you have to read it for 72 hours. What's to become next chapter? Who knows.
Sting signing off.
Zetsu: "PEACE HOMIES."