Teh Authors Note! -pops up from mound of Reviews- Holy Jashin! Seven reviews in one day?! Heh, I didn't think responces would come in this fast. Anyway, it's seems my crack-writing juices were at a low when writing this. Don't kill me! Anyway, thank you all who reveiwed! I felt very special indeed. Also, this is a bit shorter than the last chapter, but I PROMISE the next chapter will have more crack. And more of my random notes shall be at the bottom, so you can all read in peace.
WARNING! Contains CRACK! Not as much as before, but still CRACK! OOCness and Hilarious stupidity is ensured. NON-YAOI! You have been warned...
DISCLAIMER! Sadly, I do not own the Naruto universe, it's character, or it's epic concept. If I did, Sakura would beat Sasuke wil a Yaoi paddle into unconciousness and then proceed to shave his head. I only own a few OCs and not even all of them at that.
Chapter 2: "Flyers, Anyone?"
"Summer camp? Camp?! Are you fucking with me?" the Jashinist yelled, somehow detaching himself from the group and walking up to her, "And who the fuck do you think you are?"
The teen girl cringed, as if his foul language disgusted her, "My name is Kazumi. But everyone calls me Kaz, and that includes you, jaa. Also, don't curse around me, got it?"
"Hah! Why don't you try and make me, shit-eater?!"
"I'm warning you..."
"Bah. Not even Kakuzu here could shut me up. So back off, Bit-"
POW! SMACK! KABLOOEY!
There was a banshee-like scream, and all of the Akatsuki stared at the wooden-paddle-like-thing which the self-proclaimed Kaz had used to smack the snow-haired male; on his ass of all things. He clung to his backside, almost as if it would fall off any second. And with the way this was going, it could fall any second.
"You little bitch! That hurt like a mother fu-"
SMACK!
"Shit! What's wrong with you, you psycho bit-"
BAM!
"Mother fu-"
"You know," Sasori cut in before the Jashinist could speak again, "I think she is serious about the no swearing policy. I suggest you listen to her."
Kaz nodded, smiling smugly and placing the paddle back in its sheath, "You make a good point, Sasori. She was right when she said you were the smart one."
"You know my name?" the red-head questioned, also detaching himself (and losing his left arm once more in the process) form the group. Kaz nodded and grinned, waving her clipboard around once more, causing a few of the group to squirm - in case she decided to attack them with that too.
"Sure I do. What kind of a camp director would I be if I didn't know the name of my future employees, jaa?" she said smugly. At this, the pile of Akatsuki seemed to become unstable, and finally fell apart, sending the members to the grassy ground. Kaz scratched the back of her head rather sheepishly.
"Sorry. I haven't quite perfected the portal yet, jaa."
"I take it you're the one who brought us here?" Itachi spoke, being the first to recover from the fall. She nodded eagerly.
"Yep! I believe your leader got the job request a few days ago, jaa?" she looked at Pein - still clad in his bunny slippers - and blinked expectantly. He looked at her blandly.
"I did get a notice last Saturday, but there was nothing about running a...camp," he said the last word with a scowl. Kaz grinned again.
"Well of course it wouldn't! You wouldn't have come, jaa!" she laughed, "Anyway, the campers should be arriving shortly, so you guys better...get...ready?"
Her eyes raked over the pajama-clad Akatsuki with disapproval. There was a distinct mumble of, 'The best in the business my ass, jaa.'
"You're lucky, I have some extra clothes in my cabin," she sighed, walking down a small road that nobody seemed to have previously noticed, "C'mon I'll show you guys around the facility, jaa. It's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself, jaa."
"Right," Konan said rather suspiciously, "So what is this about other campers?"
"Oh! I sent out flyers around America, jaa. Or at least...I think that's where it was..." Kaz scratched her head in confusion, "Hmm...I wonder where the flyers ended up, jaa..."
"Come join us in the most epic adventure of your puny life!" a brown-haired girl read aloud to no one in particular. In her hands she held a neon flyer that advertised for some sort of a summer camp. Tilting her head to the side, the Hanyou girl scratched one of her dog-like ears in thought. She looked up at the little dog - also brown in color - perched on her head comfortably, and spoke.
"Whaddaya think, Ame? Should I sign up?" the girl - who went by the name of Sayuri - asked her faithful pet. The pup stood silent for a moment, as if in thought, and barked happily. Sayuri grinned, revealing two, small fang-like teeth.
"Alrighty then! Watch out summer camp, 'cause here comes Sayuri and Ame!" the girl cried, punching the air with her fist in a further act of excitement. Her brown eyes shine as she looked around the bustling streets of Konoha.
"Where do you think registration is?" she asked her dog. But before Ame could even wag her tail, there was a sickening ripping sound, and the sparkling pool of rainbow-ness appeared before her. If it could speak, the pool would have been laughing madly as it sucked in the two stunned creatures. All Sayuri could do was clutch Ame to her chest as the swirling vortex (the screamed of imminent stupidity) sucked them both in with a loud squish.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...?
Another boring-as-Hell day in Iwagakure. No missions and everyone else is busy. Hurrah.
The sun shone relentlessly on a blue-haired male as he trudged around his home village of Iwa, making his azure hair seem a paler shade. Shoving his hands into the pocket of his black pants, the male suddenly stopped his destination-less journey as a bright neon flyer on the ground caught his eye. Cocking an eyebrow, he veered off the road and picked it up, silver eyes scanning through it quickly.
Come join fellow teens in the most exciting adventure of your puny life!
We have swimming, kayaking, singing, arts and crafts, plus many more unnecessary camp activities!
But who cares about that? For all you daring kids out there, we've got all types of classes from the summoning arts to weaponry handling.
Interested? You'd better be!
So take a break from your boring life and come join us!
We'll be waiting!
"Summoning? Sounds interesting," the male mused to himself. Looking around the empty streets for final clarification, he nodded to himself.
"It must be better than sitting in this boring place all day. Alright, now where do I sign up?"
As before, there was a booming sound of tearing, followed by the wind kicking up, blowing around random bits of paper. And, like before, the massive blob of sparkliness appeared before the bluenett. He stared at it in distaste, backing away from the substance - which greatly reminded him of melting candy - with both arms raised.
However, the Iwa shinobi (although he did not display his hitai-ate) did not have a chance against the looming blob of doom (Hey, that rhymes!), despite how strong a ninja he may have been. Growling, the male would be damned if the thing took him down without a fight. But for all sakes and purposes, Kaz had made her portal a tad too strong. She was going to get campers one way or another, and poor Tsukiyomi Ikuto - Iwagakure jounin-to-be - was a victim of the 'another' method. And so, with just enough time for a defiant scream, the bluenett was sucked into the goopy portal and away to the 'interesting' summer camp.
Maybe it was just a tad too interesting for his tastes...?
"Am I early...Again?" a female voice echoed throughout the dark and empty classroom. She sighed, rather flustered - if not a bit embarrassed - and sat down at the teacher's desk. Not that she was a teacher (as much as she would love to be one) but sitting there made her feel special. And feeling special is very good, mind you.
"Anni, you did it again," she muttered to herself, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. She picked at the music sheets before her and sighed, looking at the clock. With a quiet 'Oh' she realized that Daylight Savings Time had come into play and she had forgotten to set her clock forward. So, here Anni sat, with a whole hour of nothingness before her. She huffed, and somehow, somewhere, she knew that Benjamin Franklin was pointing at her and laughing. But, before she could imagine any other famous Americans poking fun at her misfortune, something bright caught Anni's eye.
Reaching out, she picked up a neon flyer and read through it a few times. She blinked.
"Summer camp? I wonder if they have music classes? I could be their teacher!" she cried, excited at the promising prospect. Poor Anni, if only she knew...
It would have been fitting if the infamous portal 'o fun had sang, 'I'm baaaaaack!' But, as portals can't talk - no matter how crazed their intentions - the familiar ripping noise once more sounded throughout the whole room. The wind once again rushed (even though there were no open windows) and scattered numerous papers around. Grabbing her music folder, Anni kicked a chair at the glop of rainbow prettiness.
"You'll never take me alive!" she screamed, brandishing her folder, and prepared to inflict very annoying paper cuts. But Kaz's portal would have none of that. So, with one great gust of wind, Anni also became victim to the sickly goop of shininess.
And all that was left was a few papers floating around, and a very much destroyed classroom. Oh, the poor principal...
"And this is our swimming pool!" a very much energetic Kaz declared, gesturing to the spacious and very-clean-looking pool of chlorinated water. She was currently ushering the Akatsuki members around the pool's deck, when Hidan decided to pipe up.
"Wow. Bet'cha that water is fucking poisoned," he commented, leaning over the edge to look into the sparkling water. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and counted in his head, Three...Two...One...
KAPOW!
...
SPLASH!
Placing her very much useful Yaoi paddle back in its sheath, Kaz proceeded to look back at the Akatsuki with a bright smile.
"So, any questions, jaa?"
"Umm...Is he going to be alright, hmm?" Deidara commented, snickering and pointing at Hidan, who was currently flailing in the water and creating huge splashes. Kaz walked over to the edge and peered in, scratching her head.
"Hmm, I really don't know, jaa. Oh well, moving along!" she exclaimed cheerily, making up her mind that Hidan was a hopeless case and directing the Akatsuki's attention to the 'State-of the art Diving Board'. However, there was a blinding flash of light, and the rainbow glow of the portal shone throughout the sunny, indoor pool (further ruining Itachi's eye sight, although he dared not admit it). Several loud and painful-sounding splashes were heard. Kaz's head whipped around, and a crazed smile graced her features.
Chocolate eyes shone with what could only be descried as pure, sugar-induced, glee. She threw her arms up in the air, accidentally smacking an unsuspecting Kisame in the face. As he face to the ground, clutching a now-swollen nose, Kaz bounded over to the edge of the pool.
"Do we want to know what just happened...?" Konan inquired, taking a few small steps away from the girl. The teen whipped around, flashing the same crazed smile.
"The campers are here, jaa! Time for you guys to get to work!"
"...Work, un?"
"Do you want to be paddled, mister, jaa?!"
And that single statement was enough to send most of the Akatsuki scrambling to fetch the half-drowning campers form the depths of the pool.
Except for Hidan, who just flailed.
"Kaz"
Wow. That ending failed...Anyway, some explanations are due! Okay, so some of you may have noticed that I didn't make a detailed entry description for all of you guys, which I greatly apologize for. If I wrote it for all seven of you, then this chapter would have been super long and boring. And I needed to get going, so I gave up after three people. Also, for the people who I did write it for, I hope I kept you guys in character! :D
Time for other things now!
So, the title says this is an INTERACTIVE story! Is it really? You bet it is! How? Simple!
I will allow TWENTY people to join up! There are FIVE cabins, so that's FOUR to a cabin. These are the schematics so far (Did I spell that right...? o.o')
Cabin 1: Sayuri (moonlightstar12)
Cabin 2: Anni - Music Teacher (Sabet), Kimio (insaneoneX)
Cabin 3: Shikari Nara (Shikari The welsh ninja)
Cabin 4: Ikuto Tsukiyomi - Summoning Arts Teacher (Art Is An Bang)
Cabin 5: Kira Nakamura (SomeOtherPerson), Bellatrix (greenpanic6)
Did everyone find themselves? If you're not in here yet, you will be in Chapter 3, trust me! So, for those of us who are too lazy to count, there are SEVEN people currently signed up.
That means there are THIRTEEN spots left. So reserve yours now! How? Just send me this here form:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Physical features/outfit:
Personality: (Heh, I forgot to put this in before)
Special powers: (Be reasonable, dammit!)
Quirks:
"History":
Crush: (If any)
Cabin #
Wanna be an instructor? Why not! Just don't forget to add it in the description! Make you class as normal, random, dangerous, or as absolutely stupid as you want; it's your class after all!
I'll see you all next chapter, which includes the introduction of the other two crazed instructors! And maybe someone else will get paddled for a change...