AUTHOR'S NOTE! FFFFFFFFFFF. THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY LATE THAT EVEN THESE GIANT CAPITAL LETTERS CANNOT EXPRESS THE ANGER AT MYSELF. Ugh, I am so, so, so, so sorry!! Okay, I feel that I'm done with the apologies. Anyway, since a detailed reason of why this is so freaking late (mainly due to my own laxiness, plus the mound of other stories I have to update) would tkae a million pages, just know that I'm deeply sorry for having last updated two months ago. So, more people are included in this chapter! And I feel this is a long enough Author's Note, so please do read on and enjoy the crack that it took two-plus-months to write up. -nervous laugh-
WARNING! Contains CRACK! OOCness and overall/hilarious stupidity is ensued. You've been warned...
DISCLAIMER! I - Kaz the Amazing - own hardly anything of this story. Naruto, it's characters, and most OCs do not belong to me.
Chapter 3: "Beware the Water-Gun"
"Did we forget something, jaa?" Kaz mused to herself while kicking certain Akatsuki members into the pool. Her campers had to be saved someway, and she sure as Hell wasn't going to have her favorite shirt ruined. Sitting in the Life Guard's seat comfortably, the raven-haired teen watched excitedly as one-by-one, several sputtering teens crawled unto the pool's glossy deck and gasped for breath. Shrugging, and deciding the nagging feeling was just that extra Pixie-Stick she had for breakfast, Kaz lightly hopped off the electric blue chair and walked over to the sopping wet group.
"Hi there, jaa!" she said cheerily, waving her blue clipboard around. Chocolate eyes shone jovially as the teens looked at her. Kaz began to speak once more, but there was a sound of crackling electricity and the single male shot forward at her. She raised an eyebrow at the handful of pure lightning in his right hand, and then sighed. Stepping to the left slightly, she let him fly right past her and into the wall. With a deafening boom, he had broken right through the tile, thus creating a massive hole.
Whistling, she analyzed the damage with an impressed air, "Nice work, Ikuto-kun."
"You know him, too?" Sasori questioned from his post from beside a dripping Deidara. The red-head was, of course, perfectly dry. Wood bloats, ya know.
Kaz grinned again, waving away some of the smoke with her hand, "What kind of camp director would I be if I didn't know my campers, jaa?"
"S-Strange g-g-girl, un," Deidara muttered through chattering teeth. Camp rules: pool must be kept at sixty degrees at all times.
"You!" came a yell, and the mass of broken tile produced a head. Silver eyes glared at Kaz, who looked simply innocent, "What are you playing at?!"
"Excuse me?" she replied innocently, somehow producing a handful of towels and handing them to the rest of the campers, "I don't seem to understand what you're saying Ikuto-kun, jaa..."
"I just came out of a glop of melted candy! And landed into a freezing-cold pool! And now you refer to me as a friend?!" he growled, blue hair sticking up at odd angles from the previous electricity. Kaz just shrugged and turned away from him, throwing cerulean towels at the Akatsuki as well. Hmm...Someone's missing...
"You're the one who signed up for this, jaa," Kaz shrugged one more. The male growled at her attitude and dusted himself off, walking back to the other teens.
"Yeah, so I'm supposed to know that by just saying this place sounded interesting, I was instantly going to be sucked up by a pile of melted crap? Uh-huh, whatever," he huffed, crossing his arms and sending the raven-haired teen a dirty look. She only smiled back, further infuriating him. However, before he could try and kill the cause for the future hilarity of the group, there was a loud splash, followed by even more curses. The Hanyou girl blinked twice and quickly covered her pet's ears. The last thing anyone needed was a corrupted Ame.
"You fuckers forgot about me, dammit!" a very cold and half-drowned Hidan sputtered. Kaz laughed in relief.
"So that's what I forgot, jaa!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands in glee. The other teens sent her a bewildered look, save for one with green highlights in her shoulder-length, brown hair. Instead she pointed a fishnet-clad, and black finger-nailed-finger at the flailing Jashinist.
"I can't fucking swim you little bitch! I'll rip you fucking head off when I get out!" the snow-haired male screamed in fury, violet eyes flashing dangerously. Sayuri tilted her head to the side, watching the drowning male with curiosity.
"Is he rabid?" she inquired, looking at Kaz. She only shrugged in response.
"I honestly don't know, jaa..."
"Stop talking and get me the fuck out! You've ignored me for comedic relief long enough, bitch!!" he screamed, sputtering as water attempted to go down his throat and into his lungs. Kaz sighed, her intentions foiled.
"Fine, fine..." muttering, she deftly walked over to Kisame - still nursing his swollen nose - and pushed him in the water. As a very daring rescue took place, Kaz directed attention to herself again (What an attention whore...).
"Well! I can see you've all found my flyers, jaa? Welcome to Summer Camp!" she cried jovially, throwing her arms up once more and this time hitting Deidara in the face. Ignoring his cry of pain, she smiled at all the teens - minorly creeping most of them out.
"Um, aren't we supposed to introduce ourselves or something...?" a raven haired girl inquired, pushing her rectangular glasses back in place. Kaz stood in though for a second.
"I haven't though of that yet, jaa. Sounds like a plan! To the courtyard, jaa! AWAY!" the over-zealous Kaz yelled.
One Scene Change Later...
The group of teens, finally dried off, adjourned in the spacious and sweet-smelling courtyard. A lovely breeze ruffled all their hair, and Kaz finally joined them all, putting back her Yaoi paddle and followed by a limping Hidan - still dripping form the pool. Grinning, she stepped up on a platform which faced all her campers.
"Hello again! Welcome to my Summer Camp, jaa!" she cried out, waving her clipboard around, "Now, someone suggested that we have introductions, since none of you know each other, jaa. How's that sound?"
The group nodded, some saying 'okay', 'sure', and 'why not?' Kaz nodded herself and pointed to a girl at the beginning of the horizontal line, signaling for her to speak first.
"Me? Alright, then. My name's Raya Hyuga and, uh...I'm not really sure how I got here, but so far it looks like fun!" the pre-teen smiled at all her fellow campers, "Um, I'm twelve and a half and -"
"How come your hair's all messed up, hmm?" a certain blonde piped up, joining the group. Raya whirled around, her yellow-green eyes narrowing.
"YOU!" she shouted, jabbing the air with her finger as she pointed at him. Deidara cocked an eyebrow.
"Yeah...Me," he replied, looking confused. This seemed to enrage the girl further, and she unhooked a golden staff from her back, brandishing it threateningly. Deidara stepped back slightly, reminded of Kaz and her paddle.
"You blew up my house!" she yelled, moving her staff into an attack position. Deidara stared at her for a moment, before snapping his fingers in recollection.
"Oh! The little snow chibi, un! Now I remember!" he declared, looking thoughtful. However, this was a bad idea...
Charging at him, Raya began to hit him over the head continuously, chasing him out of the courtyard. Peering over her podium, Kaz merely shrugged and pointed at the next person.
"Hi Danna-chan!" the girl greeted, waving at Kaz. Ignoring Sasori, who looked at the brunette questioningly, Kaz rubbed her eyes, looking closely at the girl and gasped.
"Akira-chan, jaa?!" she exclaimed, running down and glomping the girl. After a chorus of 'OH MY GOD's and 'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAME!'s, the two separated and Kaz dragged Akira to the podium.
"The podium? I feel special!" the brunette exclaimed, running a hand through her messy, short hair, "Hey guys, I'm Akira! By the way, the portal looked quite tasty...Anyway, I came because this camp thing sounded like fun, and I was kind of bored."
Grinning, Kaz declared, "I demand you teach drama class, jaa."
"Why not? Hey, are these all the people, Danna-chan?"
Before anyone could further speak, a bush moved towards the group. Everyone stood silent, watching the bush move closer and closer to them all. A pair of dark sapphire eyes could be seen watching the group. The Sharingan wheel could be seen on the eyes as well.
"Hi there, jaa!" Kaz greeted. A young face popped out of the bush, framed by long, black hair which lay in soft curls. The strange Sharingan eyes looked at everyone, lingering on the Akatsuki for a second longer than the others. The face disappeared, and the bush moved over to Kaz.
"Are you the leader of this group?" a feminine voice asked. Kaz nodded.
"How did I end up in this place? And who are you? Why are they -" she nodded towards the Akatsuki - "Here?"
"You signed up for this, so it's not my problem, jaa. I'm Kaz, short for Kazumi. They are my evil assistants, jaa. In that order," the teen replied. She watched the Sharingan eyes shift suspiciously, before the girl nodded and climbed out of her bush. Joining the others, who watched her curiously, the girl addressed them all.
"I'm Tsukiko. Fourteen years old, and as sneaky as a fox -" the Sharingan eyes shifted again as she stuck her hands in the pocket of her black hoodie, "- So don't try anything funny."
Ten black tails with white tips could be seen swishing back and forth behind her. Kaz waved and pointed to the next person.
"Hey! Name's Shikari Nara age sixteen and...Kakuzu, the worth of my earring is none of your business," she said, narrowing her blue eyes at the self-proclaimed treasurer. Everyone blinked in confusion.
"You can read minds?" the same girl who had suggested the introductions spoke. Shikari nodded.
"Yep. And some other stuff, too." She replied, brushing the brown fringe of hair so that it lay over her left eye. Kaz nodded and pointed to the girl next to her, the one who had suggested the introductions.
"Me? I'm Kira Nakamura -"
"Can I call you L?" Akira spoke, grinning. Kira blinked.
"Why?"
"'Cause of you hair! Looks just like L's" the brunette nodded, her short pixie-like hair waving as she did so.
"Umm...Sure?" Kira answer, fixing her small glasses. Steel-grey eyes looked around at everyone, "Anyway, I'm fifteen and-"
"Can you do anything special?" Akira cut in once more. Kira blinked again at the interruption.
"...Yeah," she answered. Waving her hands, a sheet of paper flew forward in the air. The line of campers were all silent, watching with curiosity as Kira waved her hands again, and the paper folded itself into an elegant bird.
"Ta-da..." she muttered, sending everyone a small smile as the bird whizzed around al their heads. However, before she could do anything else, wild shouts were heard, and Kaz's smile twisted into an insane grin once more.
"Ah! Hold up everybody, the other counselors are coming in, jaa!"
"Other counselors?" Konan muttered disbelievingly towards Pein. His Rinnigan eyes narrowed slightly, and the cobalt-haired female was silent.
"BWAHAHA~!!" a loud, sugar-induced laugh was heard. Everyone looked around wildly, some even getting into an attack position. With Kaz's summer camp, you'd always better be ready for something new...
"UP HERE, SUCKERS!!" the same female voice shouted, and before most could even blink, several long, thin streams of crystalline water shone in the air. They soared gracefully for a moment, but then hit half of the Akatsuki members dead-on in the face. Sasori seemed to be the worse hit, and scowled furiously, wiping his face vigorously with the sleeve of his cloak.
"Muahaha!!" the girl laughed, and finally everyone had the notion to look up. Standing on the roof of not-mentioned building behind Kaz was a brown-haired teen. She was clad in a Foster's Home for Imaginary Friend's shirt, with black capris and Converses. An evil grin was plastered on her face.
"And that everyone, was Mizu, jaa," Kaz waved grandly at the girl, "Don't get on her bad side, or -"
"Brat, you'd better be ready to die!" Sasori hissed, fully dried now. From a scroll, he produced one of his Hitokugutsu, and wasted no time in launching it at Mizu. After all, you don't hit the Akasuna no Sasori with a water gun and live to tell the tale...Most of the time.
"Psh. As if you can hit me!" Mizu laughed at the flame-headed male, ninja-rolling to the side and whipping out her weapon of choice: The Squirt Handgun of Impending Torture. For short, the Sh - Well, this writer doesn't wish to go back on Kaz's no-swearing policy. But you get it. ANYWAY. Moving along to the epic fight scene now!
"Hah! Take this, Stick-Dick!" she cackled, and shot several blips of water at Sasori. He growled, and dodged to the side. However, Mizu appeared before him in an eruption of more sparkling water and manage to drench the poor puppet with a few blasts from the water gun. He fell back, coughing up a storm, and wiping at his face vigorously once more. The obvious winner, Mizu grinned at him and walked next to Kaz.
"Yo, what's up my home-skillet-biscuit?" Mizu greeted.
"Yes, as I was saying. Don't get on her bad side, or the water gun will get you, jaa."
The previously mentioned Shikari raised her hand tentatively. Kaz waved her on.
"Uh, won't the water gun eventually run out?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Mizu smiled.
"Well, I'm always sure to re-fill it every now and again. But in the case the main tank runs out, I've got a super special BACKPACK RESERVE!! ...See?" The teen twirled around, revealing a backpack type apparatus that was no doubt filled with more of her deadly water.
"Oh. Okay th-"
"BOO!" another shout came. There was an eruption of feathers and Pocky, and another female appeared. She bowed gracefully, letting her long, dark hair fall to the ground. It was styled suspiciously similarly to Itachi's hair...
"'Ello!" she waved, chocolate eyes narrowed in a warm smile, "I am Sasha. And you must be my new victims...I mean students. Ha! What a silly slip of the tongue! Anyway, I shall be one of your teachers, as well as the disciplinary counselor. Kaz will send you to me if you've been bad, and we wouldn't want that..." her expression changed to one of malice, "Now would we?"
Several of the campers shook their heads vigorously, as well as certain Akatsuki members.
"Good!" Sasha smiled warmly again, and turned towards Kaz, "Now then. Nii-san...Ah, remember the secret storage room of secret-ness?"
Kaz nodded, expression changing to one of confusion. The campers listened, feeling that what was about to be said next would affect them all vitally.
"Yes. Well, I tried to fix the Chibi-Ray..."
"Did you, jaa?"
"Yes, but there was a slight malfunction, and...Well..."
"SUMMER CAMP IS GONNA BE GREAT, 'TTEBAYO!!"
"NARUTO, SHUT UP! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING, CHA!"
At that moment, a hoard of small children ran forward in a huge crowd, knocking down most in their paths and causing general mayhem. Kakuzu could be seen vanishing underneath a number of tiny feet and colorful outfits, while Konan clung to Pein for dearest life.
Kaz, of course, would have none of this. She leaped out, and landed in front of the mass of small children. Grabbing a whistle that was attached to her wrist, she brought it to her lips and blew out three shrill whistles that threatened to burst their eardrums. The mass was silent, and the camp director seethed.
"YOU TURNED THEM INTO CHIBI KIDS, JAA?!"
Oh, heads were going to roll.
KAZ SPEAKS! YESSSSS. YES. CHIBI NARUTO CAST. Finally! The first arc is here: MISSION: CHIBI INVASION. In which practically all the important Naruto cast is turned into a chibi and set loose in camp. Will they ever return to normal? Who the hell knows?! (Well, technically, as the author, I would. But still. Let's just play along.)
Okay, so now the two other camp directors come in! Mizu and Sasha - just as crazy (if not more so) as Kaz! And for the record, yes they are actually real people. xD Sort of. Anyway, THIRTY THREE REVIEWS. OMG.
I died when I got around to checking this account. xD Thank you all SO SO SO much. I really do hope this chapter satisfies you. Okay, one to the important stuffs~!
Cabin 1: Sayuri (moonlightstar12), Tsukiko (KillerLiger3000), Emma (Ninja-Hidden-In-The-Paddocks)
Cabin 2: Anni - Music Teacher (Sabet), Kimio (insaneoneX), Peka (Peka The Corsair), Shay (Shaydux)
Cabin 3: Shikari Nara (Shikari The welsh ninja), Kayasi (BeyondBirthday18), Raya Hyuga (Raya Hyuga), Celes Auruon (Kendansa)
Cabin 4: Ikuto Tsukiyomi - Summoning Arts Teacher (Art Is An Bang), Ayame Uchiha (Number one Itachi fan-girl), Seiasha Stryker (CrimsonBlade11), Yuuko (Falconeyes)
Cabin 5: Kira Nakamura (SomeOtherPerson), Bellatrix (greenpanic6), Ranari (Light of the waterfall), Akumaru (Tidus221)
Sadly, if you don't see yourself then...Yeah, It's all filled up. SORRY! I really didn't expect it to be filled in just two chapters -nervous laugh- Well, since I will probably feel bad sooner or later, if you're not in here and have PREVIOUSLY submitted a character, then look out for a magical guest apperance. Yep.
Well, I'm pretty sure that's it. Oh, and everyone caught the name of the water gun, yes? xD Just checking. Alright, I will try to update sometime in the next two weeks. So check back soon~!
And please do leave reviews. I want to know how I'm doing with this. Thanks~! Ciao!