Disclaimer: Negative.
Note: Ah, thank you all for pointing out my harsh mistake – I should have known that instincts were much more reliable than logic, considering mine. Nevertheless, the misconception actually opened up a plot device, which you shall witness in action next time.
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There were often times when Shizuru would be alone at home, as her husband usually worked late – his large-scale business was something that took up a lot of time, and his fancy sports car was more for show than speed. The lack of alcohol consumption and smoking had nothing to do with it.
She would walk – idly, slowly, but with clear intent – over to her wooden desk. It was made from a mixture of strong, lightweight wood, and was made by a group of expert carpenters in Italy before being shipped to Japan. It had cost a small fortune, and even her rich, rich husband felt the pinch.
It was not the price and quality of the wooden desk that made it precious to her, though.
It was what the pricy and good-quality Italian desk contained that made it far more important to her than any other desk in the world.
Hidden within its elaborately-carved drawers, measured to precision, were many, many objects she would never dare to lose.
It could be easily said that the desk was the most important thing her husband had ever bought her.
It had nothing to do with the wedding photos she kept inside.
They were somewhere underneath the little bottle of mayonnaise Natsuki gave her, the pictures she took with Natsuki, the rose Natsuki had offered her on Valentine's Day, the letters Natsuki wrote to her, the …
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To Do With
Fiction was often preferred over fact.
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It was without doubt that Natsuki had many admirers as well, although they preferred to remain anonymous out of fear of the cobalt-haired girl coming after them with tightly-clenched fists and anger-fueled eyes. She was known to treat her fans to a sound beating, and occasionally a few broken bones when she was in a particularly bad mood.
One of the most prominent members of her unofficial fan base was Masashi Takeda, a young man who was proficient in athletics, and slightly above average when it came to academics. In conclusion, he was quite a nice guy, willing to go out of his way to help out his friends, determined, somewhat handsome in his own way, accomplished, and in love with a certain Kuga Natsuki.
Natsuki, much more anxious over her own love life than to feel flattered by his evident feelings, was startled when he gathered the nerve to propose to her in front of the entire academy. As such, she acted through the only way she knew how to, in those kind of situations – she gave him a severe head concussion, a collection of bruises, and a week off school.
Generally, Takeda was certainly a pleasant boy, with his own set of followers, although significantly smaller compared to Natsuki's or Shizuru's, for reasons unknown. He had his own sort of rugged, boyish charm about him, his grades were fine, he was polite, he was kind, he was devoted to his Kendo club, and he was persistent to chase his crush despite being given the cold shoulder.
It was just too bad that his romantic feelings for the emerald-eyed girl were not returned, nor would they ever be.
Natsuki, when seriously thinking about it, was somewhat sympathetic towards him. After all, she even wrote a letter to him to explain, loosely, how she did not even feel much like for him, much less love. However, she did write him a letter, and taking into consideration that she was not someone who enjoyed writing, it was more than enough.
It was not his fault that Natsuki did not like him all that much.
It was mostly because Kuga Natsuki already loved one person, and would love only one person.
Natsuki felt that it had something to do with the fact that he was not Fujino Shizuru.
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Tick.
Tock.
Natsuki had never realised how aggravating time could be.
The clock rested, humbly, on the tilting shelf. It was a cheap one bought from the nearest minimart, when she had broken her trusty watch and was desperately in need of something that could tell the time – she needed something with an alarm too, or she would have never woken up in time for school.
It had seen better days, being the subject of the constant torture of being thrown to the floor in anger when Natsuki was rudely awakened by a shrill ringing noise that she would never be accustomed to. Like most non-digital clocks, it had a slim minute hand and a stout hour hand.
Right now, however, Natsuki would have advised it to ditch the hands and get some legs instead.
It was currently twenty-seven minutes to three; Natsuki was lying on her stomach on the couch, swinging her legs with a degree of exasperation as she stared at the clock she grasped in her hands. Time continued its everlasting sluggish gait, intentionally pausing between every step.
The digit three on the clock face promised her happiness, however temporary. But because of that, Natsuki would wait – wait for another chance to take her most precious person out, spend time with her, and relief her of some pain. It was the best she could do right now, she reckoned.
One day, she swore, she would banish all those little hurts, all those little grievances, all those little aches, just so that they would not mar her beauty.
Only a minute had passed.
The mental rant was then interrupted by prospects of a day at the carnival – colourful cotton candy to be shared, a Haunted Mansion in which she would see a flush or two, splashes as a couple of goldfish were caught, Ferris Wheel carriages bobbing as they ascended to the top, laughter as bumper cars crashed into each other, many happy exchanges of words, smiles directed at her –
It probably had something to do with the fact that a certain someone had arrived at her doorstep twenty-six minutes before the appointed time.
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"I'm tired of this, Nao."
"Heh. The Kuga I know isn't a quitter."
"The Kuga you know never existed."
Nao sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment, as if for a dramatic pause. She briefly wondered when Natsuki had been so cynical, and was a bit disturbed at the thought that could have been Natsuki all along, under the innocent puppy façade she had put up. It was discouraging, but Nao was a person who dealt with reality, and she steered the conversation to a different topic.
"This is something about Fujino again."
It was not a question, but rather a simple statement pointing at the obvious. Natsuki gave her a wry smile, and what already was obvious was reinforced. The red-haired girl was tempted to count to ten before pinching herself, in hopes that it was just a nightmare she had after watching too many soap operas. But then she remembered that she did not watch soap operas.
"I thought we had this talk already. About not giving up."
"She's in love with someone who was never real."
Nao shot her a long, hard look. In actuality, she was a wise individual, in her own way, and kept silent. The older of the two pressed her fingers to her forehead, massaging it aggressively, almost like she believed she could rub all her worries away from her mind. Her friend just stared, seemingly unimpressed by her predicament.
"Even if you may not realise it yet, this 'fake' Kuga that you speak of – you're not that great of an actor. You can't just pull out an entirely new personality out of thin air. This Kuga … it's an extension, an extension of what you are, or once were."
"Since when were you a psychiatrist?"
"… You don't need to be a psychiatrist to know all this. You're disturbingly translucent, Kuga – and I can tell that that isn't part of your acting either. This, coming from a third-person point of view."
Nao waved her hand dismissively, mouth stretched into a careless grin. Natsuki was mildly incredulous, and looked at her friend strangely. Nao had a knowing smile that was all too friendly, and to say Natsuki was suspicious of the peculiar expression adorning the usually scowling face was an understatement.
"What the hell, Nao?"
"Yes, I'm probably drunk again, but I'll tell you something. Without Fujino, you're nothing but an empty soul-kind-of-thing, but …"
"But what?"
"But for Fujino, without you, she'd never have existed in the first place."
Natsuki felt her heart sink and soar at the same time.
It had something to do with knowing that Nao was typically right, even more so when intoxicated and therefore unable to lie.
---
Natsuki hastily dumped a few textbooks into her bag, making sure that the bottle of mayonnaise had been included in the messy lunch she had packed for herself. She was already in highschool, but she had never grown used to preparing for school without her mother's obliging help.
A deft hope on to her Ducati, and she took off for school. She weaved in and out of the grumbling traffic with ease, ignoring several red lights with a professional's style and talent. She was at school in a few minutes, for better or for worse, and she parked the motorcycle in a secluded patch of forest.
Shrugging off the stares with practiced glares and a feeling of déjà vu, she soldiered on to the entrance, wading in a sea of faces that seemed so familiar, yet were complete strangers to her. She sensed that they were once part of a memory – a memory that involved an oak tree, a playground, and mayonnaise.
The clouds parted momentarily, and the sunlight slammed into her eyes with the subtlety of a flashing knife, blinding her. Blinking, she shook her head to clear the temporary daze, but what she saw next stunned her at a far greater impact than the sudden introduction of the sun's rays.
Amongst those faces that prickled at strands of nostalgia, she noticed
Red, red, red,
And she stared with a sweeping shock that sprung from the depths of her stomach once the scene presented before her registered thoroughly.
A sudden chill marched over her skin, pulsating a sort of horrified excitement – the kind one felt when they felt that they should know a person, but could not dare to call out and confirm it.
Her eyes bored into the side of the unassuming girl's head, and she waited.
Waited for her to fall under the power of her will and some divine force,
waited for her to turn around and spot Natsuki in the ocean of bobbing heads,
waited for the gentle spark of recognition to light up in the other's red eyes,
waited for something that never came.
Vaguely, she wondered how long she would be waiting, even as she watched the retreating head of flax hair that stood out amidst the crowd. She briefly considered applying for a dormitory, just so that she could wait for the something that never came, and decided upon it almost immediately.
On that day, Natsuki made the first step in earning her reputation for truancy.
It had something to do with knowing that if she looked back, she might just break.
---
Fujino Shizuru was not as selfless as her fangirls made her out to be.
She cared for others, of course, although mostly with a somewhat minimalistic approach into that field. She sincerely loved what little true friends she made throughout the course of her life, and she did feel a sort of emotional attachment to her parents as most children would do, even if hers was just a little less.
It is a fact that humans are naturally self-orientated creatures, despite their instances of altruism and numerous sacrifices. It was not a crime to be primarily concerned with one's own welfare, contrary to popular belief, although it is looked down upon when taken to the extreme. Like most people, Shizuru devoted a keener portion of her attention on her personal interests.
It could be said that she was the solar system – cups of tea were her moons, friends were her planets, stars were her little wishes, the sun was her life (diminishing bit by bit, nonetheless), and it was a pretty nice universe she had there. A pretty nice world.
After all, Shizuru knew about her world.
And her world had everything to do with Natsuki.
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Oh, look, it's an inkling of plot!
Yes, I hope the story will move out of its Introduction-Angst-Explanation-Ending-Repeat status in the next few chapters, although I am saddened to say that I cannot guarantee that.
This was originally intended to be a two-shot, actually, but it kept coming, somehow. Must be something I ate, or my itching fingers that feel hyperactive because of the lack of computer games to play.
As always, a big thank you for all the reviews!