Disclaimer: Who am I kidding?

Note: I. Simply. Could. Not. Resist.

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A short conversation.

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"Otou-san, what do you work as?"

"Why would you want to know that?"

"We have to write an essay on our fathers' jobs, and I've always wanted to know what that special badge on your uniform was for!"

"That's the Empress's Seal, Kiyo."

"Wooow, are you some secret agent bodyguard person?"

"No, not exactly."

"Then?"

"I'm actually … her secret admirer!"

"I don't think so. Stop lying to me or I'll get Okaa-san here."

"What? You can't be serious!"

"Oh, but I am, Otou-san."

"Pft, you've inherited your Okaa-san's manipulation capabilities."

"Spill it!"

"I'm her Messenger."

"She has billions of those. She wouldn't give you her Seal if your job was that common!"

"Aheheheh …"

"Okaa-san! Otou-san is telling lies again!"

"Ara, what did she say?"

"Crap."

"She said that she was the Empress's Messenger, but she has a sparkly Seal-thing and the Empress doesn't give out those for just being some moldy old Messenger."

"Natsuki, what do you have to say to that?"

"She's a sharp kid."

"…"

"Oh, fine!"

"Yay!"

"I'm her … mumblemumblemumble."

"What?"

"Please repeat that clearer, Natsuki."

"I'm her Super Secret Messenger."

"…"

"Don't give me that look."

"Otou-san, your job has a terrible name."

"Ara, it's Midori-san, after all. After she rose to the throne, you would expect her to change every single title into ones that she actually understood."

"All my friends are going to laugh at me now."

"Mou, Kiyo … you were the one who wanted to hear it."

"Make it up to me."

"What?"

"Ara, Natsuki's job, as strange as its name, led her on many exciting journeys to distant lands. Why don't you tell our little Kiyo about something that happened on one of your trips back to Fuka?"

"Ah … Shizuru … what are you suggesting … ahahahahahaha …"

"Otou-san, tell me, tell me!"

"Why don't I buy you that dog you've always wanted?"

"You're turning red. I have a feeling this story is much more worth it."

"Mumblemumble of course, all of Shizuru's offspring have to have some uncanny instincts mumble."

"Otou-san, I'm your child too, you know?"

"Must I really, Shizuru?"

"Would you really want to crush Kiyo's hopeful expression?"

"Arrrgh."

"Yay! Ookini, Okaa-san!"

"Hmph … okay, so one day, I was delivering back a package to Midori-san. It was really important and extremely fragile. I heard that it was actually her present to her fiancé, Youko-san."

"Ooooh."

"See, I was riding on Ducati … and you know how Ducati gets."

"Aww, but Ducati-chan's really docile for a hippo."

"Oh, not when he catches sight of something interesting! Anyway, so we were flying real smooth, high enough for me to reach out and pat clouds."

"Fufufu …"

"And suddenly, without warning, Ducati drops like a dead weight! I nearly pissed myself!"

"Maybe your breath was really bad that day, Otou-san. Like how it was last week and even Okaa-san refused to kiss you."

"K-Kiyo! No, it wasn't like that. He'd spotted something in the meadow below. It was the most gorgeous, beautiful, charming girl in the entire universe! Believe me, I've travelled the entire universe so I should really kno – aha! Shizuru, are you blushing?"

"Ara …"

"Hehe, so we sort of crashed into her. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt."

"You first met Okaa-san by ramming into her with Ducati?"

"Hai. Ducati started licking her face all over like he was in heat. Which he wasn't."

"Wasn't Okaa-san terrified?"

"Ara, of course not. Ducati was purple, after all."

"That doesn't make sense, Shizuru. Just because something is your favourite colour doesn't mean it's not dangerous."

"Anyway, I was too busy staring at the impressive figure on the winged hippo."

"Otou-san and 'impressive' do not go well in the same sentence, Okaa-san. Unless it's 'Otou-san has been whipped impressively by Okaa-san'."

"Kiyo, don't be mean to your Otou-san."

"I'm not whipped!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Natsuki, stop arguing with your daughter."

"Hai …"

"Whipped."

"Kiyo, stop picking on your Otou-san. That's only for me to do."

"Hai …"

"Continue the story, Natsuki."

"Well, so I leapt off Ducati and strode towards the maiden in distress. Helping her up, I … uh … I helped her! Yes, I just helped her up. The end."

"Ara, that isn't how it goes. Natsuki carried me like a bride and kissed me passionately before –"

"Shi-Shizuru!"

"Before my father came out looking for me and thought his daughter was being attacked. He charged towards her and started swinging his axe wildly, but Ducati panicked and kicked him to the ground before he successfully beheaded your Otou-san."

"Ahahaha … I had a lot of explaining to do after that. I felt like I was going to die, having my ears hollered off by some whacky old man for two hours straight."

"Ara, my father is not a 'whacky old man'."

"Hai …"

"Otou-san, are you saying that you collided into a total stranger, decided to pick her up, and suddenly kiss her?"

"Yes, yes I am. I'm rather proud of it, actually – ouch! Shizuru!"

"Why?"

"Oh, uhm, I don't exactly know. There was just something compelling me to do it …"

"Oh, alright. Ookini, Otou-san, Okaa-san."

"Wait, wait, you can't really write about my job! It's Super Secret Messenger, remember?"

"What do you expect me to do, then?"

"Just … vaguely describe it. That should be simple enough."

"Hai, Otou-san. Maybe Yuki will think that it's interesting …"

"Ara, Yuki-chan? Isn't that that pretty girl of Haruka's and Yukino's?"

"Oh, you mean the one Kiyo keeps pining after?"

"Otou-san! Okaa-san! I do not pine after her!"

"Well, you whine a lot about her …"

"I'm going to my room. To write the report."

"Finally, someone that I can tease easily!"

"Ara, I have a feeling that this would not go well."

"You worry too much, Shizuru. Now come here and give me a kiss like you mean it."

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Name: Kuga-Fujino Kiyo
Class: 1-CK
Date: 17th Dikymbar, Year 3246

My father's job is questionable.

In conclusion, she collides into people while riding her winged purple hippo, sexually harasses them, and ends up being scolded by whacky old men who were trying to kill her seconds ago – just because she feels like it.

That was how she met my mother.

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The winged purple hippo haunted me in my dreams.
Yes, this is a change of style – it wasn't even intended to be written.

Note on Previous Chapter:
Yes, I felt that the injuries were slightly forced as well. But still, there is a hazardously slim chance of survival after falling off a cliff on a speeding motorbike – not to mention that she climbed all the way back up and marched for miles to get to Shizuru. She would have lost quite a lot of blood by then.

Looks like I have some way to go before I can write this sort of things properly.

Thank you for reading.