Not to rant, but I'm soooo effing pissed right now. Blarg.

I'm mostly writing this to help me calm down so I don't go to my dad's house and behead him and his whore/mygodmother/mymom'sOLDbestfriend/my"honoraryaunt" with a butterknife.

Freaking fucking hate them. RRRRG.

Anyway. Story. Yeah. Calms me down. Okay. - -cuts off homicidal mode for the moment–

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or anything. Or a Death Note. But I do own a pretty sharp dagger and a box of cheez-its. But I don't own the rights to the companies that made them. I also don't own the rights to "American Pie" by Don McLean. I don't own a lot of things.

Warnings: Profanities, traumatized gamers, six year olds, sheep, llamas, eucalyptus, bamboo, pandas, mostly the same as usual.

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I GOT MY PAPER BUDDY BACK!!

It's been over a year. I'm sixteen now. I know I was 14 when I last talked to ya, but my birthday was all of two weeks away when I was last writing in it. At the moment, we're in April. Mello's six now and he's got a roommate that he drags around everywhere that's a couple months younger than him, he just got to the orphanage a few months ago on a videogame scholarship, of all things. Well, I'm calling it a videogame scholarship, anyway. He got in here because of how good he is at videogames. Of all sorts. RPG, war strategy, puzzle, he can beat anyone at damn near any video game you can name. And he's got this weird thing for goggles. Always wears a pair of orange ones. Strange.

I figure I should keep you in the loop of what's been going on in our year old separation. Let's see… ah. In the age range of children ten and below, Mello was number one up until two months ago. When a new kid showed up. This kid's four years old, I believe, a little over one and a half years younger than Mells. Mello's starting to develop an inferiority complex over this -IblameL,he'sabadinfluence- whole mess. But Near's about as pretentious as a four year old can be (in my opinion at least) and he takes quite a bit of pride in all of his praises (at least, as much pride as a sheep can take), and I swear to God he can put a jigsaw puzzle together in two and a half seconds (which is fecking wieuuurd). So, in my opinion, it's not so bad that Mello picks on him so much.

Now, for the children ranging above ten years old, I'm number two. See the irony? And guess who number one still is. Granted, he's my friend, so I don't torment him like Mello does with Near…. Much.

Alright, so I did attempt to push him out of his chair in chemistry class the other day when he got a fucking A+ on a test in which we had to name EVERY FECKING ELEMENT in the Periodic Table which no human being should be capable of doing (proving more for my testimony that he is, indeed, a llama. Or possibly a panda. I'm not sure anymore.), but that's not the same!

Much as I pick on him, though, he's still the only friend I've got in this place. Which makes me kind of sad that we're both basically graduating from our schooling here this year, and there's already plans being made for him. He's going to be a detective. I don't know what the hell I'll be doing. I think I'm going to find out if I can stay here and just help out with everything. I'd miss Mello Yello and Goggle Boy if I left.

I have younger siblinnggssss. Yay!

And to think I used to hate kids. Not quite to the extent that Roger does, considering how he thinks all little kids should die. Don't worry, Roger, we all wish you'd die, too! Fecking son of a bitch that he is. Watari's going to be working as L's associate when he turns all secret agent. So the only cool person that works here is gonna be gone. And that, my friends, is reason to cry.

Or just sniffle a bit.

Did you know Watari is also an inventor and a Grade-A sniper? Bet you didn't. Considering how you're a book and all. With paper. Paper ≠ brains. Paper equalsh shtooopid. Not really. I actually missed you, my paper pal. As much as I can miss a notebook, at least.

Oh, I've got visitors. One frustrated blond child dragging along a… depressed and for some reason Game Boy-less redhead? Maybe not depressed. Maybe pissed off? Now sure. But still. Looks like problems.
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Alpha yawned and sat up on her bed, looking at the two. It was fairly early in the morning, about eight o' clock and as everyone in the orphanage was on an Easter Break from lessons, there was no reason for them to be up. Mello practically had to drag Matt over to the bed by his arm.

Reading over the old entries in her psychodiary had given her insight into just how much the chocoholic blond had changed. He was growing to be quite satirical compared to how he had been a year and a half ago. Besides this, he was actually a bit taller than her knee now (but she could still call him midget, so big whoop). His hair had grown out a bit from its old bowl cut (and he had recently informed Roger that if any barber attempted to change this, they'd get their finger cut off with their own scissors). He also seemed to have taken quite a liking to the color black. Which was so not her fault. That was probably L's fault, too. The bastard.

His roommate Matt was a bit taller than him and had sort of a messy-looking bowl cut, but his hair was dark red, to go with those absurd orange goggles. He was almost never seen without his Game Boy, and he was the only person she had met who had ever managed to beat Tetris. He seemed to prefer t-shirts and blue jeans to any other clothing, and he seemed to prefer videogames to people. It halfway made her wonder if he was aware of where he was half the time when Mello was dragging him around all over the place.

Right now, things were different, though. Matt had to be perfectly aware of where he was, as he had no handheld videogame system playing Tetris music that she would have to blast out of her head with "American Pie" just to get that song stuck in her head instead. For some reason, it seemed to be the only song that could play at a volume above the Tetris music in her head. That was curious. But that wasn't the point. The point was that there was a very depressed, videogame-less redhead in her room that she was probably about to be forced to counsel.

"Troubled?" she asked with raised eyebrows, looking between the two.

"Yes!" Mello said. "He stayed up all night playing videogames on that Nintendo thing and I'm not sure why, but he's not doing anything and now he's refusing to play any videogames." Matt sighed in response. "And he's doing that too much!"

Oh. That meant something was wrong. Matt refusing to play videogames was like Mello refusing to eat chocolate. It just wasn't supposed to happen, and when it did happen, it could worry anyone. Was he possibly sick? He didn't look too overly sick…. It seemed impossible that he could have lost a game – he could beat her at any game and had proved this various times for his own amusement – though something like that could have obviously put him into this bad of a mood.

"Which Nintendo?"

"Wh… what's that got to do with anything?" Mello asked, looking between the two.

"Super Nintendo…" Matt grumbled. He definitely sounded irritated.

"What game?"

"Final fecking Fantasy…"

"Language, Matty," she said, laughing. "I take it you lost?"

"Yes!"

"Is that really a reason to get this dramatic?" Mello said, looking at the gamer. He received a glare of pure evil in return. "Obviously it is…"

"Mello," Alpha said, trying hard not to laugh, "think about this for a moment. What would your reaction be if you got food poisoning from a chocolate bar?"

His eyes widened in utter horror. "Don't even go there."

"Exactly," she said. "Which Final Fantasy?"

"Six…" Matt grumbled, glaring at the floor in his frustration. "And I was using bloody cheat codes…"

"Take the cheat codes off and give it another go."

"But I can't–"

"You're conscience was getting at you because you cheated on a videogame." She said the words so dramatically that it made him flinch a little. Her brainwashing techniques always worked. "It's blasphemic. Doesn't it go against everything you believe in?"

"S… sort of."

"Then take the cheat codes off and go try it again."

He sighed in resignation, turned, and walked out the door. Mello watched him walk out, and then looked at Alpha, a look of confused shock taking over his expression.

"It was that simple? How did you manage to figure that out in three minutes?"

"I guess I've picked up a few tricks from my therapist," she said, her tone a little sour. "If I didn't have to see her every day, then I wouldn't have to worry about that happening. Besides, I'm not called the second smartest here for nothing."

Mello sighed, his look of shock suddenly turning to exasperation. "Yeah, I s'pose…"

Alpha flinched a little. Now she was going to have to cheer up another miniature person. That was going to be fun – two depressed six year olds in one morning. Her mention of her being "second smartest" had jumpstarted his daily inferiority complex and Near hatred, as well as an early morning ranting within the next fifteen seconds if she didn't say anything before it started. Mello did absolutely despise the little albino midget, who he had started referring to as "the sheep" after Alpha accidently mentioned in front of him and Matt how much Near reminded her of a sheep.

"Mello," Alpha said hopelessly, "I know you've got an inferiority complex rivaled by no one–"

"I do not!"

"Yes you do, and interrupting is rude, but you've got to think about something. There's a lot of kids here. A lot. You're as high up as you are because of hard work, and a lot of them would kill to be number two."

"But that sheep–"

"Gets all the attention, I know. But that's no reason to get pissed off at someone."

"You about pushed L out of his chair for scoring higher on you than a test!"

"No, that was because no one is supposed to know every fecking element and – wait, th– that's not the point, anyways, quit making me go off subject!" Mello laughed, and Alpha regretted ever mentioning to that little demon that she was easily distracted…. "I'm the last person you want to be acting like, trust me. Seeing as I'm forced to be inside my own head every day, I would know."

"But it's not fair that you get to disregard every rule here and you expect me to follow them. In fact, it's completely biased."

"I'm not saying you can't," she said. "Do I look like I can stop you? I'm only suggesting that you don't. Meaning for your own sake, not for mine. I'm not the type of person who believes in the whole 'Do as I say and not as I do' load of crap. My belief is more of a 'Please don't do as I do, seeing as it'll get you into more trouble than you could have ever imagined possible' type of thing. Do you understand that?"

Mello seemed to consider this for a moment, a contemplative look manifesting in his eyes. Slowly, he nodded. Alpha gave a sigh of relief; she almost hadn't understood herself.

"You don't want me to get into trouble, even if you do," Mello said, "but I don't like Near and I'll probably get into trouble anyway, but you won't get mad because it was only a suggestion.

Alpha pursed her lips, trying to think of a way to end this predicament. Near might have been a sheepy little know-it-all… well, he was actually rather quiet, but he was still a sheepy little something, in her opinion… well, he might have been all that, but she didn't want her little minions beating on him just for that reason. If he gave them a reason then maybe, but – no! That was wrong, too. They just shouldn't pick on people. That was all. But how to employ this? Matt just seemed to follow Mello around, he didn't really care much about anything to do with Near. Mello was the one who had to be talked into leaving Near alone… or manipulated.

"I'll give you a chocolate bar if you leave him alone for twenty-four hours."

Mello's eyes widened. Unfortunately, they narrowed slyly. He wasn't four anymore, and he had picked up quite a few tricks from her. One of them was haggling the prices or payouts her briberies.

"Three."

"Two."

"Two and a half."

"Two and a quarter."

"How's that going to work?"

"Then just two."

He widened his eyes pitifully. "Three?"

"Fine, three," she said resignedly, reaching down under her bed and feeling around for a box. She reached inside of it and pulled out three bars of chocolate, then handed them to the very smug-looking six-year-old. "But the pitiful thing isn't going to work forever, you know. That dies down with age."

"I'm going to be taking advantage of it while it still works, then."

"Then it appears your training is going quite well. Once you can get L to share his cake with you, there will be nothing more left for me to teach you."

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Well, I just heard Matt's victory cheer, and I'm in the main sitting room and it's eight o' clock at night. I'm guessing he beat the first videogame to ever conquer him – Final Fantasy VI. I guilt-tripped him when he told me he'd used cheat codes and told him it was blasphemic and he only lost because he was feeling guilty. It worked!

I'm just awesome like that.

And Mello, the little bugger that he is, just got three chocolate bars off of me in return for him not messing with Near for the whole day. If he doesn't keep his word, I know where his chocolate stash is, so I'll just steal them back.

Now, onto other rantings. Like L and his stupid llama self leaving me here all alone, the asshole. Don't know why it's bothering me so much, but I know I'm going to miss that panda bastard. Stupid son of a eucalyptus tree and bamboo leaf that he is. Yes. Eucalyptus trees and bamboo leaves breed to create llamas that oddly resemble panda bears. That is where llamas come from.

Side note to my therapist: Learn something new everyday, eh?

Hey, my hair smells like peaches…. What the bloody hell is up with that?

Sorry. Distracted. Back to my ranting, since my therapist seems to like reading that best. Apparently, underlying feelings about stuff and things lies within my ranting. You know what? I think I'll piss her off by writing a paragraph of random nonsense words.

Lla ta uoy dnim tnod I. :) Looc etiuq yllautca eruoy. Yllaer ton. Repap fo dap rouy no eot-cat-cit gniyalp tsuj eruoy kniht I dna. Sgnileef ym tuoba erac uoy yas uoy nehw gniyl eruoy kniht I. taht wonk uoy, ffo em ssip ot tsuj sti Dog ot raews I dna yawyna seod ti em gnillet peek uoy dna tnsoed yllaer ti nehw gninaem neddih a sah gnihtyreve kniht ot mees uoy? Tsipareht, uoy ekil tnod I. flesruoy kcuf og won. Egassem neddih eht dnuof evah uoy. Snoitalutargnoc.

Try finding a hidden meaning in that. No, seriously, try. I mean it. There is a mEsSaGe -gasp- hidden within -doublegasp!!- Seeing as you (therapist, I mean, not notebook) like looking for hidden meanings, find one there! Tis a challenge. And it's quite easy, by the way.

Now, where was I before? Ah, yes, ranting abou
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Alpha slammed her notebook shut in the middle of her sentence and glared over at the person who had just sat next to her on the couch and glanced in her notebook. L looked back warily, his eyes looking a little wider than usual (if that was even possible). She didn't let her expression soften at all at the utterly pitiful look of question she was receiving.

"If you attempt to read my journal again, I'm going to roll it up and smack you across the head with it."

"I was not aware that it was your journal…" L said slowly. "I thought your therapist made you stop writing in it a year ago."

"She's having me write in it once every year for a few weeks at a time. I'll have it for a month or so, maybe a couple weeks longer this time, and it's none of your bussiness anyway."

"I did see my name."

"It's none of your bussiness," Alpha said through gritted teeth.

She couldn't stand how he had to be logical about everything. Although she didn't want to admit it to herself, she knew she had been more hostile with him than usual lately due to the fact that she knew he was going to leave. She wasn't sure why it was pissing her off so fucking much, but it was, no matter how hard she tried to stop it from doing so.

"Something's bothering you," L said, suspicion clouding his tone, "and–"

"If you even start tossing percentages at me, I'm going to kick you."

"– there is three quarters of a chance that you just wrote it in that notebook."

"Smart ass…"

"Considering all how much the letter 'L' was mentioned, I assume it has something to do with me."

"You shouldn't be reading my journal anyway!"

"I wasn't aware it was a journal at the time, I was looking to see what it was because I thought your therapist had you stop writing in it last year."

"You could have asked rather than stuck your nose where it didn't belong, you know," she snapped fiercely. "I don't want to discuss anything I wrote in here with you, so stop assuming things. It's all you ever do and it's really beginning to get on my nerves."

He gave her another reproachful look. "You've been doing a lot of that lately."

"A lot of what?" she barked lividly, making him jump a little. He remained his calm composure, however, which irritated her even further.

"Pointing out things that get on your nerves that never seemed to in the past."

Alpha clenched her fist, thought for a moment, and then unclenched it. She didn't end her glaring, however. "Maybe I've just been being nice."

L looked at her for a moment longer, but then he turned his view to his knees. "Then I thought right in the first place."

"About what?"

"I figured you were only looking to be my friend because you pitied me. It's happened before, I've learned to recognize it."

"N… what are you talking ab… alright. You're not going to make me feel bad for you. I've never pitied you and I'm not about to start now. You might not've had any friends, but neither did I, and I wasn't pitying myself for that, was I? You're the number one smartest kid here, which is reason for you to gloat, not for me to feel sorry for you. I wanted to be friends with you because… I don't know, I just did, can you understand that? Please?"

He nodded. "I figured as much."

"What the hell are you–?"

"I only said that to see your reaction. I'm convinced the reason you are acting with such hostility is because you do look at me as a friend, and you're upset that your friend is going to be leaving soon, so you're trying to convince yourself that you don't care by lashing out at me."

She attempted to look either shocked or confused by his accusation. When she realized it was a lost cause, she just breathed out a sigh and shook her head. Alpha sat back against the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"I still think you're too smart for your own good…"

Eh. Bit of a better mood now.

Reviews always appreciated.

Oh, and if you can't figure out the "hidden message," I'll let you know what it is in the next chapter, even though it's nothing overly significant.

Note to me readers: I'm mostly going to be working on this story and The King's Note until I get this one finished since I know where it's going to end. It'll be about 16 to 20 chapters, I think, and there will probably be a sequal, but maybe not. I'll let my readers decide.