A/N: Chapter 2, wherein Hamlet gets a nasty shock

Chapter 2

Hamlet stood in line, right between a man with an axe in his head and woman who was having trouble standing up straight.

"What happened to you?" he asked her.

"hic alcohol poisoning, hic so they hic tell me hic" she replied. The brown lark on her shoulder nodded. "Found her in a ditch in the Russian countryside." he chirped.

"You don't say," Krys replied, "I found mine stabbed with a poisoned sword in the middle of a throne-room in Denmark. Amazing what these humans get up to, eh?"

Hamlet rolled his eyes. The polecat sitting at the axe-mans' feet yawned. "You think that's strange? This guy was whacked by his daughter. Something about inheritance money and a guy named Fyeron."

Krys whistled in agreement. "That sure is strange."

"Did you just whistle?" Hamlet asked the fox.

Krys looked up at the former prince "Yeah. You have no idea how much I've always wanted to do that. Being dead does have its perks."

"Maybe for you." Hamlet mumbled.

The line suddenly jerked forward one position.

"Yay, we're one step closer to St John." Krys said eagerly.

"Seriously, if you keep saying that every time we more forward, I'm going to strangle you." Hamlet sighed. Was there no shutting up this infernal animal?

"Oh yeah? Well the joke's on you. I'm already dead. You can't strangle me. So there ngh!" the fox poked his tongue out like a child.

Hamlet sighed deeply again. It was a growing trend. "So, why are all these animals here, anyway? Why does it seem like everyone's got one?"

"Oh, that's easy. You see, for humans to move on from purgatory, they've usually got to do something to make up for whatever wrongs they did in life. But for animals, all we have to do is make sure our assigned human does whatever he's supposed to do, and if he moves on, so do we. So whatever St John tells you to do, you'd better do it. Otherwise I'll be right here with you for the rest of eternity."

"You can't be serious." Hamlet replied.

"I'm deadly serious…haha, deadly. Get it? cos we're dead!"

The line moved forward again. Hamlet could faintly see a figure sitting at a table in the distance. They were still quite a few people away, but at least the end was in sight.

Then the first part of what Krys had said hit him. 'Make up for whatever wrongs'. Oh zounds, he thought. What am I going to have to do? There are so many wrongs…and that's just in the past few years. Hamlet groaned. He was never going to get out of this deary place.

"Hey, you'd better do what it takes, mister. I don't want to be stuck here either." Krys replied, having read Hamlet's thoughts.

They were finally almost there. Only one person was ahead of them. Axe-man stood, shoulders slumped, as St John's kindly voice gave him instructions.

"…and if you can do all that, then you will be granted entrance into Heaven. God Bless…Next!"

The Axe-man and polecat walked away silently and Hamlet and Krys stepped up to the desk.

St John was a very inconspicuous looking man. He was bearded, slightly pot-bellied, mostly bold and had square glasses poised on the edge on his crooked nose. If it weren't for the glowing halo and white robes, he would be someone you might expect in a library. He was currently browsing through a large filing cabinet on his right.

"Ah, here we are, Hamlet, Former Prince of Denmark. Died age 30 by poisoned sword wound. Hmm," St John paused, "This is quite an extensive list you've got here, ma' boy."

Hamlet looked at his feet. "Well, it wasn't all my fault."

"Perhaps not. But this is quite an unusual case." St John mused.

"So, where's he headed? The pearly gates or the land of burning flames?" Krys asked, more cheerfully than Hamlet would've liked.

"Well, my young furry friend, that's the problem. At this point, he could go either way." St John replied.

"What do you mean?" Hamlet asked, confused.

"Well, you were a very good person once, but then you turned bad. But most of the bad deeds were with initial good intentions. But the real problem here is the fact that your father came back to you and ordered you to do many of these things."

"What are you trying to say? My father is responsible for this?"

"Well, yes. Sprits such as yourself aren't permitted to travel back to the realm of the living. But he found a way and did. Your father had no right to ask you to avenge his death, not matter how ghastly. But many of your later actions are then justified in a way, as you believed you were rightly fulfilling your fathers' wishes, and therein lays the problem. Your bad deeds stop you from entering Heaven, but the fact that your actions were on behalf someone else, stop you from being doomed to Hell for all eternity."

"…so, what does that mean? I have to just stay here forever?"

"No, of course not. No soul's stay in purgatory is permanent. They all have to move on eventually. It just means that you will have to work for your place in the afterlife."

Hamlet groaned. He should've expected just as much, but still, why did everything bad have to happen to him?

"What do I have to do?" he asked.

"Well, you're in luck. I have just the task for you. If you complete it, you will gain entry into Heaven. But if you cannot, you will be doomed to Hell. So listen closely, this is important," St John took a deep breath and smiled, "I want you to find all the people you have wronged and apologise. If they all forgive you, eternal salvation is yours."

"…what? All of them?" Hamlet scratched his head desperately, trying to remember as many people as he could that would likely fall into the "People I Have Wronged" category.

"And because I'm a kind man, I shall supply you with a list of all the people." St John replied, handing him a small scroll.

Hamlet unfurled it to find a long list of names; his mother, uncle, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Polonius, Laertes, some people from his days at university, and Ophelia. His heart skipped a beat when he read her name. At the back of his mind, he had known that he would have to face her again. But he knew she would never forgive him.

He looked at St John, pleading "Is this the only way?"

"'fraid so. Unless you want to suffer for all eternity." replied St John, rasing an eyebrow questiongly.

"What? No, no, of course I want to go to Heaven." Hamlet said quickly.

"Then this is the only way."

Hamlet sighed in defeat. This was not going to be easy.

"Don't worry; I'm sure you can do it. If you have any questions, just ask your animal guide. All the people on that list are still in purgatory and you shouldn't have too much trouble finding them all. There aren't many places to go here, after all. Do you have any questions before you go?"

"Ah…how long do I have to do all this?"

"Well, since time doesn't really exist here, as long as you need, or until you give up. Which ever comes first, really. Good luck young Hamlet, and God Bless. NEXT!"

Hamlet and Krys moved on, walking without any real direction.

"So, what's the deal with this Ophelia? Is she some ex-girlfriend or something?" asked the fox,

Hamlet sighed. "Well, in a way, yes. It's complicated."

"What did you do to her?"

"I kind of…indirectly…drove her insane and then she killed herself." he looked away.

"Oh," replied Krys, "That's too bad. She's not gonna forgive you easily."

"She probably won't forgive me at all." he replied sadly.

Wow, that took me a while. Well, second chapter's done. A big thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys are awesome!

About Hamlet's age? well, there is a bit of debate here. The gravedigger's speech makes it seem that Hamlet must be 30, but he certinally acts much younger (i'd probably say early twenties, or maybe even younger). Someone suggested that the gravedgger added that in later, in the first performance, to justify having a 30-yr-old actor playing the character. And the folio apparently makes no real refence to his age. For argument sake, i'm going to stick with him dying at 30, but seeing as he's dead now, and has taken on the appearance of him ten years previous to that, it really doesn't matter.

All reviews are welcomed and appreciated. I'd love to hear what you think about my fic. :D

well, until next time, have a nice day! :D