Chapter 3 – Newborn temper –
The next day started of nicely, with a pale sun at the blue sky.
I stood at the window of my room again. Wishing so hard
that I would be able to go outside,
to lie down in the sun and feel the warmth on my skin.
I could have – somewhere else. Somewhere more hidden and dark.
We'd been hunting the last night, so my eyes were now a shining red,
I tried to not be aware of them staring back at me in the reflection.
A knock on the door made me turn around. "Come in.", I mouthed.
There was no need to speak loudly;
whoever stood there understood me clearly. William entered,
dressed all over in black. "Good morning.", I said.
No need to be too sarcastic today. "Good morning.",
he answered and joined me near the window.
"It's a nice day outside." He sighed. "You'd like to go outside, don't you?"
I nodded. "No point in being miserable about it."
Getting used to it was my first priority for now on.
Getting used to it and then, try to make something out of it. Anything.
"Mary already told you that I intend on seeing an old friend of mine, didn't she?"
I nodded again.
"So, Carlisle lives with some others near a small town named Forks.
He and I met in London. We didn't have what you would call a friendship."
I saw sarcasm in his eyes. "But we came to accept each other
and as the years passed, we met sometimes,
realizing that we really appreciated each other.
He's a good guy. A little too good for our race."
Race. Ugh. "What do you mean?" "Well, he's - what he calls himself –
a vegetarian." I frowned. "He's only drinking animal blood."
William explained to me, shuddering slightly.
Obviously a disgusting thought for him. "He and his 'family',
I should say." "Coven.", I corrected,
finding the word family too weird in connection with 'our race'.
"I don't think you can say that. But, don't worry,
you'll see for yourself soon enough."
"That's all you wanted to tell me?" I was sure, there was something else.
Some hidden warning I had missed. "Listen, Lana.
You're still young. Very young. I don't want anything bad to happen
when we get there." "Bad? Like me trying to kill one of them?"
He really found me capable of it. I wanted to laugh.
"You still have newborn powers. If you lose your temper…"
I grinned sarcastically. "That would be bad for them."
I announced and looked away.
This was the proof of everything I had thought to myself.
They detested me. My behaviour and my essence.
"I don't think, you're not able to control yourself.
If I thought so, you wouldn't be here by now.
I just wanted to ask you to be very careful. Do you hear me?"
I reluctantly nodded. "Alright. We'll leave at twilight."
He left without another word. I leaned my forehead against the cold glass.
Existing became harder to bear with every minute that passed.
I thought the pain would lessen, but instead, it only hurt me more and more.
I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep myself inconspicuous with the other coven around. Furthermore, there was something I had to deal with beforehand.
I felt the need to go and talk to Alexis. I had thought about my conversation
with him a lot and had jumped to the conclusion
that I had to apologize somehow. For trying to make him feel miserable
for my defiance. I knew where I would find him.
At this time of the day he would be sitting in the office, reading stuff.
He told me once that he tried to find out everything about 'our race'
as William had so insensitively put it. I entered the hallway
and stopped in front of the dark wooden door.
I lifted my hand to knock, but something held me back.
The memories of the both of us together, suddenly entered my mind again.
How close I had come to dying, so that I had to become this.
I shook my head and with it, the memories vanished.
I knocked slightly and didn't wait for an answer.
He sat at the desk, a thick encyclopaedia in front of him and looked up at me.
I smiled slightly. "I didn't want to disturb your studies."
There was calmness in his eyes, I saw it clearly. "Never mind.",
he said and leaned back in the chair.
I closed the door behind me and leaned against the cold wood.
"I wanted to apologize." I held his gaze; it wasn't embarrassing
to feel the intensity this look built up between us.
"For what?" "For trying to make you feel miserable."
He frowned and pushed himself up, slowly circling the desk into my direction.
"You needn't apologize, Lana. If someone has the right
to make me feel miserable, it's you." I inhaled sharply.
The images slowly fought their way back into my head.
"No, it was wrong.", I choked, looking at my feet.
Suddenly, he was there, I felt his hand under my chin,
slowly lifting my face up until I met his gaze.
His touch felt very wrong and very right at the same time.
"Will you do me a favour?" He was whispering now,
the sweetness of his breath was pleasant. I tried to smile.
I hadn't been this close to anyone since my transformation.
With my back against the wall, it oddly scared me. No escape this time. Again.
"That depends.", I said, recalling, that this time I was the stronger one.
At least for now. "On what?" We looked at each other again,
his eyes were strangely black. He had fed last night,
they should have been dark red instead of black.
"Just say it and I'll think about it."
He smiled mischievously. "Don't kill me.", he hissed,
and in a heartbeat, his lips met mine. I closed my eyes,
realizing how strange this should feel,
but knowing at once that it felt more comforting
than anything else I had felt in the past year.
My arms were around his neck instinctively,
pressing my body closer to his, willingly, he moved even closer.
Our lips parted slightly, so that I could taste the sweet wetness,
the softness even better.
He groaned, pressing us against the door.
'You shouldn't let this happen…', a tiny voice in my head whispered.
But I knew, that it was too late now…
Let me know what you think!! Next chapter, the Cullens will get involved into the story at last… Review! :) Love, B.