Chapter 6 is up! :) Thanks a lot for the reviews, good guess btw! I hope you like it, maybe Lana gets a little better to understand now. Review! :) Love, B.

Chapter 6 – Secrets –

How do you react, when you get to know, that you're not 'normal'? That you can do things, nobody else can?

From the moment, when I had seen those pictures in Edward's head, I felt, as if the world, that was already upside down since William had changed me, was disordered once again. Since none of my coven had powers other vampires had not, I wasn't used to things like that.

I was standing at the window of Carlisle's office, watching the raindrops slowly falling on the dark ground. They had left, leaving me alone for a while so that I could rearrange my thoughts, my feelings. How can a vampire feel helpless? I knew, that my new 'power' should somehow please me, but instead, I felt isolated from everyone else, leprous.

"Trying to see some sense in being like that?", a soft voice asked behind me. I wanted to turn, but he stopped me. "I think, we should try to not exchange memories again."

It was Edward. I smiled sarcastically and nodded, staring out the window again. "It's not that easy to accept, is it?" I shook my head slowly. "I thought, I'd been punished enough for one life… I mean, existence.", I announced, folding my arms across my chest. "Punished?" I heard curiosity in his voice. "I didn't want to become this, you know.", I said silently, not sure, if I should share this kind of thoughts with a vampire I hardly knew. "Then why did you became 'this'?" He accentuated it ironically.

I smiled, honestly this time. "Because otherwise I would be dead by now. Although I'm not so sure if that would be worse." Both of us laughed. It felt weird, as if he understood, what I was thinking. What I had been thinking all along. "Who changed you?", he asked. "William. He wasn't sure if he was strong enough, that's what he told me after the burning, but he somehow made it." "Because?" I thought that I really must have caught his attention by now.

"That's kind of a long story… I don't think it's that interesting." "I've heard a lot of boring stories throughout my existence. I think, I can handle it." I heard him sitting down in the leather chair.

"Well… It was about a year ago, that I met Alexis in a bar. Somehow, we got into a conversation; I was a little drunk and didn't really know that something was wrong with him.

All of them are quite adjusted to dealing with humans, I have to add. Although they still feed the 'traditional way', you wouldn't recognize that they're different to any other human… Well, we left together." I heard him inhaling sharply. He knew what happened then.

"There was some kind of tension between us, but I didn't recognize that it was far from being physical attraction in human ways… He freaked out and – treated me quite badly." I shut my eyes, the pictures were the sharpest I had from my human life. The pain, the misunderstanding, the pain in his eyes, the pain in my chest, as if my heart was going to break through.

We were quiet for a long time, but the silence wasn't embarrassing. I had no idea, why I told him that. Maybe it was because I had looked into his head as well.

"Why did he want William to change you in the first place?" His voice was blank and his question hit me like a slap in the face. I had thought about this a lot and asked him, without really getting a satisfying answer.

"I don't know.", I admitted. "He said, he somehow regretted, what he had done, as if he woke from a bad dream. I don't quite understand myself."

"Maybe he wanted to keep you…", he answered slowly. "Keep me?", I asked. It sounded like you would talk about a pet.

"Maybe his attraction to you wasn't only because of him being a vampire. I saw the way he looked at you, how protective he is around you. As if you needed protection!" He laughed lightly. "You think so?"

Was this the answer to the weird closeness I had felt between us? The answer to our strange connection? "I was able to read his mind, anyway.", he answered nonchalant. "Right.", I muttered and fell silent again.

"I think we should go downstairs. Carlisle wants to tell the others what happened." Like it was any of their business. I sighed and laid my hands against the glass of the window.

"I don't think I want to talk to anyone." All I wanted was to stay here, be on my own and think about a way out of this mess. Maybe I should just leave, start all over again.

"Well, I don't think you have any choice. You'll have to decide, when William will take you to Volterra…"